Microsoft’s Buffoon, er… Ballmer throws down gauntlet against Apple

“Declaring that Microsoft and its partners had in the past ‘ceded some of the boundary between hardware and software innovation’ to Apple, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer told CRN in an exclusive interview Monday that the company’s Surface tablet marks a new era in which the computer software giant will leave no “stone unturned” in its innovation battle against Apple,” Steven Burke reports for CRN.

MacDailyNews Take: The man is a genius.

“‘We are trying to make absolutely clear we are not going to leave any space uncovered to Apple,’ said an exuberant Ballmer in a 30-minute interview after addressing some 16,000 partners at the company’s annual Worldwide Partner Conference in Toronto. ‘We are not. No space uncovered that is Apple’s,'” Burke reports. “‘We have our advantages in productivity,’ he said. ‘We have our advantages in terms of enterprise management, manageability. We have got our advantages in terms of when you plug into server infrastructure in the enterprise. But we are not going to let any piece of this [go uncontested to Apple],’ shouted Ballmer. ‘Not the consumer cloud. Not hardware software innovation. We are not leaving any of that to Apple by itself. Not going to happen. Not on our watch.'”

MacDailyNews Take: A genius, we tell you! (Despite the fact about all that’s gone on during his “watch” at Microsoft is an unrelenting, merciless ass-kicking administered by Apple.)

Burke reports, “Ballmer did not even discount the possibility that Microsoft’s innovation offensive could include its own smartphone to compete against Apple’s wildly popular iPhone. When asked if Microsoft might make its own smartphone, Ballmer paused and then replied: ‘Right now we are working real hard on the Surface. That’s the focus. That’s our core. Look, we’ll see what happens. We have good partners with Nokia, HDC [sic] in the phone space. I love what we’ve got going on with the Surface. We are going to focus on Surface and our other Windows 8 Tablet partners and see if we can go make something happen.'”

MacDailyNews Take: Nokia is a “good partner.” Good partners are always gasping for air like fish on a sidewalk.

Ballmer Big DummyBurke reports, “As to whether partners will eventually be able to sell the Surface, which is slated to be available from and Microsoft retail stores, Ballmer said Microsoft’s initial emphasis was to put ‘one foot in front of the other’ and get the product ‘out the door.'”

MacDailyNews Take: A certifiable genius!

Burke reports, “The Surface marks the first time ever that Microsoft has tried Apple’s long-successful strategy of tightly integrating its own hardware and software together in sleek products.”

MacDailyNews Take: You know, because the Zune and the Kin never happened. Oh, right, Burke typed “sleek” products. (Are either of the Surface vaporlets really that “sleek?” Is a silly kickstand sleek?)

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Steve Jobs’ longterm plan continues to unfold with precision. It’ll be a sad day when Ballmer T. Clown finally bites the bullet.

May Steve Ballmer remain Microsoft’s CEO for as long as it takes!

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HP said to dump Microsoft over Surface; to cozy up to Google Android for tablet efforts – July 2, 2012
Bad news for Microsoft’s iPad killer? – July 2, 2012
Dear Microsoft, Steve Balmer and Bill Gates: What is up with your obsession with keyboards? – June 28, 2012
Jason Schwarz: Top 10 reasons why Microsoft’s Surface is DOA – June 22, 2012
Why I love Microsoft’s vaporware Surface tablet – June 22, 2012
Microsoft’s Surface tablet said to be Wi-Fi only at launch; no 4G, no 3G, no 2G, not even 1G – June 22, 2012
Microsoft outsources Surface assembly to Pegatron; prices above $799 for Windows 8, above $599 for Windows RT expected – June 21, 2012
Acer founder: Microsoft will quit making tablets soon – June 21, 2012
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Thanks to Apple, Microsoft is doomed in the era of mobile computing – June 20, 2012
Why wouldn’t Microsoft let anyone touch its Surface tablets’ keyboard cover? – June 20, 2012
The cost of Microsoft’s Surface tablets – June 20, 2012
Apple’s revolutionary iPad vs. Microsoft’s anti-tablet ‘Surface’ – June 20, 2012
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Fox News: Copier Microsoft is doomed to fail with Surface tablet – June 19, 2012
Microsoft’s Surface tablet destined to be as successful as the Zune – June 19, 2012
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Microsoft’s Suicide, er… ‘Surface’ – June 19, 2012
ZDNet Sr. Tech Editor Perlow: Microsoft’s Surface has catastrophe written all over it – June 19, 2012
Microsoft previews own ‘Surface’ tablet – June 18, 2012
Microsoft touts ‘major’ June 18 event said to showcase Windows RT tablets – June 15, 2012
ZDNet’s Kingsley-Hughes: Microsoft’s Windows 8 is an awful, horrible, painful design disaster – June 8, 2012
Analyst meets with big computer maker, finds ‘general lack of enthusiasm’ for Windows 8 – June 8, 2012
Dvorak: Windows 8 an unmitigated disaster; unusable and annoying; it makes your teeth itch – June 3, 2012
The Guardian: Microsoft’s Windows 8 is confusing as hell; an appalling user experience – March 5, 2012
More good news for Apple: Microsoft previews Windows 8 (with video) – June 1, 2011


    1. hey my neighbor to my left, its not me talking… its our neighbor behind us thats an ass because clearly ballmer is talking out of his ass with these statements. dont blame that shit on me…lol

      1. So does anyone with an iOS device.

        Which is a lot of people. Certainly more people than ever bought a Zune, the launch of which is the last time I remember Microsoft management including Ballmer and Dave Fester coming up with this kind of deluded triumphalist nonsense on the basis of the perceived value of being able to ‘squirt’.

    1. That apparent movement seems induced by pressure from the MS Board to do something…anything. With these types of hyper-comments, MS stock price will plunge once reviewers get their hands on a Slate.

          1. And when the iPad starting taking off with no Microsoft or Microsoft-loaded competition slowing it at all, he probably shat crushed rock and clay baked in a kiln in roughly rectangular prism-shaped pieces.

  1. I love Ballmer! Honestly, I’ve never seen such an incompetent buffoon last as long as that guy has. What on earth does he have to do to get fired?

    Forget I said that; may Ballmer remain CEO for as long as it takes!!!

    1. You’re crazy! Balmer is a very kind an decent man who will make it worth the shareholders’ while. I can not believe you do not see how much the Mac folk are in trouble. Balmer is smart, funny, experienced and dedicated to seeing this through and I for one will be waiting in line for the Surface.

      Windows 8 will easily beat OSX Mountain Pussy.

  2. Well if confirmation was ever needed…Microshaft is worried…
    Apart from not mentioning Google who really should be their target, this is unbelievable stuff from the giant Microslug.

  3. Oh yeah, he’s not fooling around now. The jig is up. They woke up from their deep slumbers and now have their eye on the ball. Nothing ‘s going to stop them now, except err umm, maybe Apple and Google…

    So sad too Apple’s ALREADY left no stone or space uncovered except maybe an 8″ iPad (which will probably be out in few minutes). And I’m afraid your clumsy “watch” is about over. Consumers no longer believe you.

    “I love what we’ve got going on with the Surface” just like you “loved our stragedy, I like it a lot” before?

    “Ballmer said Microsoft’s initial emphasis was to put ‘one foot in front of the other’ and get the product ‘out the door.’” All that one foot in front of the other is doing is crossing and making you trip. Yeowwww!

  4. “That’s our core.”

    No it isn’t! Software is your core; this will be “the first time ever that Microsoft has tried Apple’s long-successful strategy of tightly integrating its own hardware and software together.”

    MDN is correct about Zune and Kin. I don’t have proof of this, but I hear that the Xbox was around for years before it turned a profit. No stone unturned == money wasted everywhere. If Windows and Office continue losing influence and sales, that will cut-off the cash source.

  5. “Ballmer said Microsoft’s initial emphasis was to put ‘one foot in front of the other’ ”
    actually, that’s a good start for a monkey to evolve.

  6. Burke reports, “The Surface marks the first time ever that Microsoft has tried Apple’s long-successful strategy of tightly integrating its own hardware and software together in sleek products.”
    Not really, maybe the second effort to sell MS’s version of sleek without shovelware.

  7. Did you note the strengths that Ballmer listed? They are all strengths pertaining to enterprises and businesses from a centralized point of view. Microsoft excelled in that command and control arena.

    The problem is that the rushing trend is towards consumerization where end-users are making individual choices for devices that work like a toaster.

    There was a time when horses were far more popular than cars as a mode of transportation. The excerpts from his speech sounds more like a buggy maker going after Henry Ford by making a horse drawn buggy with a motor in it but touting its history making barns, hay balers, and feeding troughs.

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