Apple Computer and the rock band U2 are rumored have inked a deal to sell customized iPods. It’s believed that the announcement will happen at an event Oct. 26 in San Jose, Calif. Appearing at the event will be Apple CEO Steve Jobs and U2’s Bono and the Edge.
One the eve of the rumored announcement, we thought we could have some fun in the form of a photo captioning contest. So what if it’s one of those contests where nobody wins a “real” prize? Who cares! It’s fun anyway. Below is a photo of U2’s Bono (left) and Real’s CEO Rob Glaser (right) – have at it!
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“Whoa… you really DO have a double-chin! How can you even breathe with that shirt so tight?”
Bono chastises Rob Glaser, “it would have been nice of you to leave some doughnuts ‘for the rest of us!'”
“I’d like your glasses, Rob, if I was a 74-year-old librarian from Peoria.”
Rob wonders if Bono’s sunglasses have x ray vision and worries if Bono can see his bra that is holding in his man boobs. Meanwhile Bono thinks “this guy smells like pork rinds”
Who can eat more, you or Ballmer?
“How the hell does that button not pop off your shirt like a bullet?!”
“No, you most certainly may not eat me, Rob!”
“Nice suit. Next time you should get one in your size. Damn, that tie’s gotta hurt!”
“The reason we’re going with Apple is because their software doesn’t suck and they don’t spend all of their time trying to rip off their competitors’ technology and ideas.”
Bono to Glaser. “iTMS. Even better than the Real thing.”
Bono to RG: So is it true you taught Steve Ballmer how to dance?
“hey chap yah bloody music store blows. hail the queen yes?”
“Holy Living Shit! Is that an alien about to climb out of your mouth?!?”
“Ya really gotta lay off the carbs, Rob. Repeat after me: A-T-K-I-N-S.”
Bono – “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Or
Bono – “I’m sorry, all I heard was blah, blah, blah, I’m a fat idiot”
How do you get a forked tongue, Rob? Lemme try…
Hovsss thifssss?
“it’s pronounced Bono, not Boner” Oh ya, Real sucks”.
Bono: I’m not sure why you changed name to Rob Glazer, Ken. After all, you’ve gone from one pompous blowhard (Ken Starr) to another!
“You want me, Ha, to do a special, Ha Ha, portable player, Ha Ha Ha, for Real?!?!? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Hello, Hello!
Rob Glaser: “Bono, I’m a big fa [Buffering…..0%…… 10% …….. 50%……90%…..5% …] [Connection Lost]”
No caption needed. Bono sticking his tongue out at Glaser says it all!
Bono: “I thought you were a software guy but looking at you it’s clear you’re a music industry exec”
(Bono must have said something pretty cute, look at the colour of Glaser’s ears).
Take two, Bono: “looks like you should cut down on the booze”.
Whatever: it’s clear Glaser is physically very unhealthy, probably spread to his mind too.
“For the last time, we’re not going to do a deal with you guys… now let me use the loo in private!”
Glazer: “So urr, Mr Bono, I was um wondering if you’d like to sell U2 music on the Real music store and we were thinking we could spray an iPod black for you. Whaddya say?”
Mr. Glaser I’m here on behalf of the Save the African Children foundation.
They wanted me to tell you to please stop eating all of their food so we can alleviate the famine situation there.
“Uh yeah Rob, a partnership sounds great. I’ll get back to you real soon on that. Yeah.”
“Christ, you’re one fat fuck!”
“Did you just accuse me of selling out?”
“Bloated men in uncool suits give me the willies.”
Glaser, “Watch what happens when I look down – two chins are better than one!”
Bono recoils and gasps from the horror of it all.
Bono to Glaser: “Oh good, you’re here. Why don’t you start by emptying the trash, then get me my Perrier, and then me boots needs a shinin’! Get to it man, they’re not paying you to stand around here eatin’ all me doughnuts!”
OK Jeff, you get my vote.
“Christ, you’re one fat fuck!”
I vote for the MacMan’s perfect caption
Rob: Hey Bono Want us to sell your music for half price?
Bone: Sod you mate ive made a deal with Apple and I get me own ipod.
Rob: (goes red in anger)
Bone: [Sticks tongue out] What? What? Wanna Take A Swing At Me? Wanna Take A Swing At Me?
“Did you just accuse me of selling out?”
hehehehe, good one, effword….
Glaser: So, if you sign with us we might be able to sell a few songs for you. See, we have already sold a few other songs from other bands.
Bono: Really, how many songs have you sold.
Glaser: A bunch. So do we have a deal?
Bono: I am sorry Ron.
Glaser: Please, pretty please.
Bono: Wipe your tears away
Bono:An apple is more than a LOGO. Its a fruit and you might want to mix one in ocasionally.
Glaser: I think I need a Tic-Tac.
“I’m just not too sure if I’m cool enough for Real.”
Thanks, G-Spank.
Bono – “you fuckin hack real sucks”
“It�s an iPod, Rob, not an iProd”
I think ‘even better than the Real thing’ was brilliant..
themacman
Bono: Take your .ram and stick it up…
Bono to RG:
For the last time Rob, I don’t need your f%ing Harmony!
bono to rg:
Can you bring back the Freedom of Music Choice comments? They were funny as hell!
Re: ThaMacMan.
Excellent caption. So nice to see a response that doesn’t cater to the baser instincts. Intelligence and wit might not be dead after all.
Bono: Who farted?
Bono: ROB! Your on my foot, get off my foot!
Bono makes silly faces to try and make Rob blink.
ReelNetworks? That’s great. What do you sale.. fishing equipment?
“Lost another one to iTunes! aaaaagh!”
It was real.
Glaser: “Damn, Bono said no to our Real promotion! I guess we’ll have to go to our second choice, and my personal favorite, Kenny Loggins!”
Bono: Hey can you dance for me again monkey boy? Oops thought you was him.
Bono: I should have recognized you after seeing your movie, Mr. Moore.
BTW, I AM cool – you kids these days suck.
SB
Bono: “Hey Glaser, I want to rip off your head and shit down your neck”
Glaser: “We will be bigger than Apple with our format”
Bono: “I like to shove my guitar up your ass”
Glaser: “So it’s a deal then?”
“Lose the tie, the suit, shave your head, go for a jog, and get an idea. Get Real! – and then maybe we’ll talk.”
“Wadda ya mean we have to share with Westlife ???”.
No, you fat fook! I am not the guy from Bend it Like Beckham
Bono: “You’re saying it’s how large”?
Bono to Rob as he sticks his tongue out at him and says, “iTunes is better than real!” “Try not to rip off anyone else Rob, that’s a good chap.”
You’re even more fucking ugly in person. Can I say that on the web without getting fined…again.
Uhh… Have you seen my briefcase??
“Bono gives the universal tongue signal of a huge chunk of donut on the right side of face”
-paul
” What do you mean,’Why didn’t I bring Cher? “
” What do you mean,’Why didn’t I bring Cher? “
“Rob, I’ve had a wonderful evening, and this wasn’t it.”
“What does spank my monkey mean, Rob?”
Hmmm, now once more, why do I want to distribute my music with your service at 49� per song?
Rob:Hey,why didn’t you sign a deal with us?
Bono:Excuse me.I have ipods to endorse.
Rob:Little bisnotch!
Bono:What’s my name?
Rob:Bono!
Bono:CHECK.
yankees suck
When is the Barry Manilow iPod coming out?
BONO
I like you betty…
GLASER
It’s Rob sir..
BONO
Bob…
Do you do drugs Bob?
GLASER
Crack sir… usually three or four times a day.
BONO
That’s a problem…
mumbling
GLASER
I know… I know
BONO
The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote that a flute with no holes is not a flute, and a doughnut with no holes is a Danish.
—–alternately—–
BONO
Oh Glaser, look at the wax build up on these shoes I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed wih a fine chamois, and I want them now! Chop chop!
Excuse, me… but do you have any Grey Poupon?
“We glazed right over your Real crappy software.”
Bono shares a Zen koan with Real’s Rob Glaser:
“I’d rather lick the floor of this loo
Than to leave Apple for you.”
Burma Shave
Is that dandruff on your shoulder or Parmesan?
Glaser to Bono:
“Sorry Bonnee, I coudn’t get the toilet to flush…”
Glaser to Bono:
“Sorry Bonnee, I coudn’t get the toilet to flush…”
ooops…
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“I am not the devil incarnate you fat bastard”
Did I get that thing on my upper lip?
Bono: “Hey Glaser, I read a lot about you on MDN but I never believed your double chin was THAT bad..”
Come on people, TheMacMan had the only creative caption!! We all know Glaser’s fat, let’s get past that and think of something original!!
Bono to Glaser. “iTMS. Even better than the Real thing.”
–TheMacMan
The winner as far as I’m concerned!!
I still like TheMacMan’s line the best. When will the winner be announced?
i liked tommy’s line the best about not needing Glaser’s Harmony.
then TheMacMan’s line about even better than the Real thing
Bono: Hey Dude. If I am ever trapped in the Alps, I want you to be on MY soccer team. Yum.
It was like “bleep bleep bleep bleep”, and my market share was gone. Apple totally devoured my market share, and I was like “Unhhhh?”