Unlocked iPhone worthless after FBI spills glass of water on it

“Moments after successfully unlocking the San Bernardino iPhone, the F.B.I. rendered the phone permanently useless by spilling a glass of water on it, an F.B.I. spokesman confirmed on Tuesday,” Andy Borowitz writes for The New Yorker. “Calling the accident ‘one of the biggest embarrassments in F.B.I. history,’ bureau spokesman Harland Dorrinson told reporters, ‘There’s no way to express how bad we feel about what happened to that phone.'”

“In a possible thawing of relations between Apple and the F.B.I.,” Borowitz writes, “Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook offered to replace the damaged iPhone for seven hundred and forty-nine dollars, or two hundred and ninety-nine dollars with a two-year contract.”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Oh, Andy.

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26 Comments

    1. They just didn’t want the other even bigger embarrassment that there was no valuable data on the phone, or they don’t want to share the secret to “hacking” the phone, or they never really were able to hack to phone at all.

      —-but glass of water? Nope!

  1. This feels like an ad for Samsung. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there was nothing useful on the phone, so the FBI decided to become astroturfers, in order to recoup some of that $15 million

  2. He just tickled himself so much with his own joke he had to get it out even before April 1st. Must be fun at parties chuckling before getting to his punchline.

    Welp, at least it is Manatee Appreciation Day.

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