“Apple rocked the gadget world today with the news that the iPhone 5 includes a new feature that gives shape and purpose to previously empty and meaningless lives,” Andy Borowitz writes for The New Yorker.

“In a demonstration before a hushed crowd of Apple enthusiasts, an app developer named Josh asked the new Siri, ‘Why didn’t my parents love me?'” Borowitz writes. “Siri’s response, ‘Your parents were too self-absorbed and narcissistic to recognize your essential beauty and value as a human being,’ brought many in the Yerba Buena Center audience close to tears.”

Borowitz writes, “Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook closed out the launch with perhaps his boldest claim to date about the company’s new phone: ‘We believe that the iPhone 5 will make your current relationship obsolete.'”

Read more in the full article here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers “Fred Mertz” and “Rim” for the heads up.]