The following is from a Microsoft press release disseminated today, verbatim:
Microsoft Corp. will announce news live from San Francisco via webcast on July 16 at noon PDT:
Microsoft Announcement
When: Monday, July 16, at noon PDT
What: News from Microsoft
Who: Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will share the news.
Where: Live via webcast at http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/news
Source: Microsoft
MacDailyNews Take: Buying beleaguered Nokia, Baller stepping down (Jobs forbid!), buying beleaguered RIM, Surface tablet(s) cancelled, buying beleaguered Dell, Ballmer to join cast of Dancing with the Stars, what do you think?
The new mPhone & mPad perhaps? Because, after all, ‘we believe Apple got it wrong’
+1
I almost spit my coffee out on my iPad when I read this!
Let me guess … They’re buying a controlling interest in Chaquita so Monkey Boy can feed his habit?
PowerBook G5? 🙂
Microsoft TV – Microsoft leads, Apple follows 🙂
Yep, Microsoft is folding.
Just don’t touch our beloved Ballmer. Everything is good.
The Committee of Public Safety wishes to make an announcement regarding Marie Antoinette and others, at noon today.
–Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre
I was an early investor in the Robespierre Razor Company. I invested the profits in a movie called “Forest Gump”.
To once again rehash their rediculous PC era BS.
Microsoft TV!
Microsoft TV with a keyboard!
I know it’s a huge touchscreen TV , that would be totally ridiculous… and then build it into a coffee table!
oh wait they already did that.
Nevermind…
Announce upcoming Office 15 and current beta- Yawn
It is NOT Ballmer stepping down, he is the one making the announcement ….. If he was stepping down, they would not advertise him as announcing, at least I think that way …..
Surface, could not be that, they just did …..
Him, very curious ….. Wonder what it could be???
Thinking something to do with buying somebody or something!
They’re so far behind that they think they’re in first place.
Awwwwww. They have a secret. Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?
Awwwwww. They think they have something new. Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?
A new news service, given Microsoft’s divorce with NBC.
They’re calling it quits! Closing shop!
Nokia, for sure
They’re releasing the iTurd in response to Apple’s iPhone.
MSs new strategy, a new announcement every few weeks so they can stay in the news.
They have joined EPEAT and will be a major contributer. EPEAT will be used as a strategic weapon er: partner.
They’re going to resurrect the Zune under a different name.. Hmmmm Zune iPod = Zod! Yeah! They’ll say “I am Zod!”
Lol, you’ll say, “Oh my God”, and it’ll answer back, “Not ‘God’… ‘Zod’.”
‘Kneel before Zod!”
Microsoft Office 15 (the product number) to be marketed as Microsoft Office 2013 – going into public beta and with shipping dates for one segment of users in Fall 2012 – available for the rest in January 2013.
The only things we can assume (for sure) is that
If it’s product related, it will not take effect immediate (MS never have and never will “drop products from podium down to consumer”).
If it’s acquisition related it will not be a jaw dropping surprise and it will not take effect immediately (regulations will stall).
If it’s person related, it’s unlikely they dump Balmer since he is main speaker, more likely he goes into non-exec Board and/or Chairman role and Sinofski replace him as CEO.
My two cents.
It’s a special event to show off the fact that they’ve already got the numeric keys partially working on the Surface keyboard.
Microsoft will be showing a video to prove it and journalists who want hands-on experience of the keyboard will be welcome to pause and rewind the video ( under careful supervision from Microsoft staff ).
Surface mini, for sure. And a keyboard cover for the Nokia 900.
They have purchased Spam, The Mystery Meat. Now it’s official, Windows Ate, home of Spam.
Austin Minnesota does not appreciate that!
So many MSFT announcements recently…. is someone getting nervous about their earnings call this week?
How’s that rounding error doing lately?
It’s a new version of Office that will be available in 8 months (or some unspecified date) so don’t you dare switch to another productivity suite (keynote, numbers, pages).
Apple’s suite will run across laptops and iPads and sync to documents in the cloud.
Microsoft has to make some noise and pretend that they can do that too – “real soon now”.
They have purchased Spam, The Mystery Meat. Now Windows Ate comes with Spam.
it’s THIS:
http://www.minimallyminimal.com/journal/2012/7/3/the-next-microsoft.html
They will announce the purchase of Nokia. Stock has dropped again today due the slashing of the windows phone price so now MS has finally pushed Nokia stock low enough for an outright purchase of the company.
New PR policy: make waves.
NOK is actually up about a penny right now…
Possible items…
1) MSNBC is kaput.
2) We are canceling X,Y, & Z which we have not started on.
3) Buying RIM and Nokia and forming NoBerry.
4) Apple just bough us out.
A monkey that dances with its Surface ?
Wondering what dance pro they will pair him with? Karina Smirnoff, Cheryl Burke… Maks??
They’re shutting the company down and giving the money back to the shareholders.
Launch of the new Microsoft Windows App Store is my guess. This is how they’re going to deliver OS and Office updates probably.
I wonder if this has anything to do with beefed up MS presence in Silicon Valley?.. Or perhaps a new MS store in SF?..
In any case, I can accurately predict that whatever Mr. Ballmer announces for MS, it will be an epic fail.
Schadenfreude potential ahead!
Two announcements:
1) A new version of that POS, bloated Office software that will run on Surface and will also run on iPads in a crippled form 9 months later.
2) MS is severing ties with MSNBC.
However, I would pay serious money to see Ballmer on Dancing with the Stars, although they would have to subtitle the episode he is on to Dancing with the Stars & a Dimwit.
Closing down and giving the money to the shareholders.
One announcement:
More vaporware for all!!!
John Hodgman reprising his role as ‘I’m a PC, sorta’… Only John had to lose 100 pound in order to slim up for his new role… ‘I’m a PC Tablet’!
Steve Ballmer is actually an Apple employee.
Windows 8 will ship July 24th
Maybe it is specks on the keyboarded Surface with Pricing and availability? Maybe a brown one?
Nokia-Microsoft iPhone trade in program. They will trade your iPhone and $10 for a new Nokia phone running Windoze.
What about Office for iOS?
Nokia
I put the word “crap” in the Bing search on the MS news center and the first thing that came up was an announcement from 2006 on the arrival of the Zune.
So, maybe I should use Bing more.
My friend knows somebody who’s cousin’s brother in law has the scoop:
They are introducing the new keyboard equipped MS TV in 720p 8-bit color with built in pan and scan. The keyboard has an optional kickstand.
MICROSOFT IS GOING TO BUYOUT NOKIA!!!!
“MSNBC TV will launch a new digital home in 2013, as an extension of the MSNBC TV on-air brand,” the editor-in-chief of MSNBC.com wrote in a letter posted on MSNBC website.
Damn they suck
The new “Surface” will now support Floppy disks, serial port, parallel port, VGA connector and and full 600w ATX power supply with a stylus!!!!