The following is from a Microsoft press release disseminated today, verbatim:
Microsoft Corp. will announce news live from San Francisco via webcast on July 16 at noon PDT:
Microsoft Announcement
When: Monday, July 16, at noon PDT
What: News from Microsoft
Who: Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will share the news.
Where: Live via webcast at http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/news
Source: Microsoft
MacDailyNews Take: Buying beleaguered Nokia, Baller stepping down (Jobs forbid!), buying beleaguered RIM, Surface tablet(s) cancelled, buying beleaguered Dell, Ballmer to join cast of Dancing with the Stars, what do you think?
It’s a new version of Office that will be available in 8 months (or some unspecified date) so don’t you dare switch to another productivity suite (keynote, numbers, pages).
Apple’s suite will run across laptops and iPads and sync to documents in the cloud.
Microsoft has to make some noise and pretend that they can do that too – “real soon now”.
They have purchased Spam, The Mystery Meat. Now Windows Ate comes with Spam.
it’s THIS:
http://www.minimallyminimal.com/journal/2012/7/3/the-next-microsoft.html
They will announce the purchase of Nokia. Stock has dropped again today due the slashing of the windows phone price so now MS has finally pushed Nokia stock low enough for an outright purchase of the company.
New PR policy: make waves.
NOK is actually up about a penny right now…
Possible items…
1) MSNBC is kaput.
2) We are canceling X,Y, & Z which we have not started on.
3) Buying RIM and Nokia and forming NoBerry.
4) Apple just bough us out.
A monkey that dances with its Surface ?
Wondering what dance pro they will pair him with? Karina Smirnoff, Cheryl Burke… Maks??
They’re shutting the company down and giving the money back to the shareholders.
Launch of the new Microsoft Windows App Store is my guess. This is how they’re going to deliver OS and Office updates probably.
I wonder if this has anything to do with beefed up MS presence in Silicon Valley?.. Or perhaps a new MS store in SF?..
In any case, I can accurately predict that whatever Mr. Ballmer announces for MS, it will be an epic fail.
Schadenfreude potential ahead!
Two announcements:
1) A new version of that POS, bloated Office software that will run on Surface and will also run on iPads in a crippled form 9 months later.
2) MS is severing ties with MSNBC.
However, I would pay serious money to see Ballmer on Dancing with the Stars, although they would have to subtitle the episode he is on to Dancing with the Stars & a Dimwit.
Closing down and giving the money to the shareholders.
One announcement:
More vaporware for all!!!
John Hodgman reprising his role as ‘I’m a PC, sorta’… Only John had to lose 100 pound in order to slim up for his new role… ‘I’m a PC Tablet’!
Steve Ballmer is actually an Apple employee.
Windows 8 will ship July 24th
Maybe it is specks on the keyboarded Surface with Pricing and availability? Maybe a brown one?
Nokia-Microsoft iPhone trade in program. They will trade your iPhone and $10 for a new Nokia phone running Windoze.
What about Office for iOS?
Nokia
I put the word “crap” in the Bing search on the MS news center and the first thing that came up was an announcement from 2006 on the arrival of the Zune.
So, maybe I should use Bing more.
My friend knows somebody who’s cousin’s brother in law has the scoop:
They are introducing the new keyboard equipped MS TV in 720p 8-bit color with built in pan and scan. The keyboard has an optional kickstand.
MICROSOFT IS GOING TO BUYOUT NOKIA!!!!