Happy Independence Day!

33 Comments

U.S. FlagHappy Independence Day!

We’re taking the day off to hang out with family and friends, watch fireworks, and celebrate Independence Day (United States).

If you’re celebrating today, too, we wish you a happy and safe Fourth! To everyone else, thank you for visiting MacDailyNews!

MacDailyNews Note: Click for The Declaration of Independence.

33 Comments

    2. Let us not forget that the people who founded this country had to find a way to knit together a confederation of thirteen colonies with widely varying beliefs and concerns. They brought together some of the best minds of the time, debated through lengthy sessions of the Continental Congress, and found a sufficient amount of common ground to forge ahead despite major differences of opinion. In the end, the voice of the people carried the day and resulted in the Declaration of Independence.

      The U.S. Constitution was adopted by the Constitutional Convention on September 17, 1787. It was ratified by the states and went into effect on March 4, 1789. As note by others, the U.S. Constitution borrowed heavily from great documents and ideas from the past. However, as with any product of humanity, it was a compromise that represented the limitations of the time. For instance, it took another 78 years and a terrible Civil War to finally end legal slavery. And women only gained suffrage in the U.S. with the 19th Amendment in 1920. So, as great as the accomplishments of our ancestors were in the late 1700s, they were not perfect. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is a never-ending story of struggle, debate, and compromise.

      Reply

  12. Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you….Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. It’s the Soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press. It’s the Soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It’s the Soldier, not the politicians that ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.. It’s the Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.

    Reply

      1. Noted, and it’s a pleasure to serve.

        I’m in the best shape of my life. I loaded ordnance onto all manner of vehicles as a young pup turned Devil Dog and now I want, nay, need a hammock for my porch!

        Reply

  15. Happy Fourth indeed.
    Thank you o everyone that has helped this country be free.

    Thanks to the UK, it started a bit rocky but better allies we couldnt find.

    And to quote a previous poster

    Fireworks!

    Reply

  16. To the citizens of the United States of America:

    In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II [E II R] will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Gordon Brown, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium” and “controversy”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing them. Check the spelling of “signalling”, “ageing”, and colour”. Again you will be amazed at how crude your attempts to shorten words is.

    Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary” and “liaise” (as in ‘I liaised with them last year.’. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed”.

    There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

    You should learn to distinguish amongst the English, Scottish and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard.
    Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

    You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out Task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

    You should stop playing American “football”. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

    You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there’s a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. “Merde” is French for “shit”.

    July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called “Indecisive Day”.

    All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

    Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

    Reply

    2. Aw shucks, Mum! Yer too kind, honestly! Say, did you really get some diamonds for your jubilee? Bet they’re swell. Anyway, we love ya soooo much more than that mean Victoria, now she was a real pisser that one. Toots!

      Reply

  18. All those transported convicts from England (more than anyway else), slaves from all over the world, and illegal immigrants. Now they want independence? I suppose they are just people.

    Reply

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