Enderle: New iPad is a ‘penis iron’ and Meg Whitman is clearly a bigger asset to HP than Cook is to Apple’

“Last week was an interesting week. Apple announced what appears to be a penis iron in the new iPad, and folks are burning through their monthly 4G data plans in a few hours,” Rob Enderle writes for TechNewsWorld. “Tim’s having his first Antennagate moment, and Steve Jobs he isn’t.”

“On the other hand, Meg Whitman announced her first major restructuring since taking over HP, and on paper it not only looks impressive, but also is reminiscent of what Carly Fiorina attempted to do in a lot of ways,” Enderle writes. “Fiorina was considered a strong visionary — she just wasn’t good with people and couldn’t execute. Whitman appears to have Fiorina’s vision and can execute, which bodes well for HP.”

Enderle writes, “Ironically, the stock market continues to reward Apple and punish HP, which suggests the market remains consistently out of step with reality.”

MacDailyNews Take: Maybe not the market, Robbie. What did we tell you about taking your meds?

“Cook has been increasingly compared to Jobs and found wanting. His last two product launches weren’t very exciting, and the new iPad appears to have serious problems. People have been writing to tell me they are returning theirs,” Enderle writes. “The problems range from poor WiFi reception and WAN data plans that run through their monthly allocation in hours, to the very high temperature that the iPad operates at, which Consumer Reports says could cause burns if held for a long period…”

MacDailyNews Take: Consumer Reports said no such thing. Consumer Reports said, “When it was at its hottest, it felt very warm but not especially uncomfortable if held for a brief period.” Extrapolating that it “could cause burns if held for a long period” is baseless. Not only that, it might just be actionable. Hello, Apple Legal?

• Expert: iPad heat claims overblown, not a real issue – March 22, 2012
• Consumer Reports’ bombshell: New iPad runs hotter than predecessor but ‘not especially uncomfortable’ – March 20, 2012
• Like clockwork: Let the iPad ‘overheating’ FUD begin! – March 20, 2012
• Infrared test shows more powerful new iPad running a safe 10-degrees warmer than iPad 2 – March 20, 2012

Enderle writes, “We already know Cook can’t present like Steve Jobs, and it is as yet unclear whether the proper balance is being maintained between design, engineering and finance. With this device alone, you could argue it is not a good balance, based on these problems (best to wait for the newer iPad).”

Full article – Think Before You Click™here.

MacDailyNews Take: This one is so bad, we really can’t tell if it’s trying to be serious or of it’s meant to be a joke.

Enderle seems to think of himself as some sort of tech expert for hire (pay him and he’ll write/say just about anything) even though he’s nothing more than a ham-handed, cheesily-goateed FUD vomiter who truly is a remarkably awful writer. He thinks he’s a marketing genius, but the only thing at which he’s a genius is branding himself an idiot extraordinaire who routinely gets things spectacularly wrong (please see related articles below.)

According to the website of the Enderle Group (Rob, his wife Mary, and their dog), “There may also be organizations where we have a personal, vested interest. These relationships will be disclosed directly in any written or verbal communications where the relationship becomes material. For example, if an employee sits on the board of an organization that is being discussed or written about, it will be disclosed.” Yet, for some reason, this TechNewsWorld article completely fails to mention that Rob Enderle sits on HP’s “advisory council.” Whoops!

Presumably, he advises HP on how to take their daily ass-kicking from Apple as mindlessly as he takes his from people who actually understand technology and can see where things are really going.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Carl H.” for the heads up.]

Related articles:
Enderle: Apple’s secret ‘fifth column’ saboteurs beat Microsoft, Dell, HP, Google – June 1, 2010
Rob Enderle: One idiot to rule them all – January 25, 2010
Rob Enderle couldn’t analyze his way out of a wet paper bag – July 24, 2009
Enderle: Apple didn’t change the world – May 04, 2009
Enderle: Apple’s marketing mistakes mirror those made by Republicans in U.S. presidential race – November 03, 2008
Enderle claims Apple iPhone hasn’t made a dent in RIM – July 25, 2008
Enderle: Is Apple rotting from the inside out? – December 28, 2007
Enderle: Apple’s iMac updates are modest and late; Apple lagging behind HP – August 08, 2007
Enderle’s infinite loop: ‘This year will be really nasty for Apple’ – January 22, 2007
Enderle revels in ‘collapsing’ iTunes Store sales that are actually surging – December 18, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft’s Zune could be very successful – November 07, 2006
Enderle: ‘4th quarter will be Apple’s hardest since the first iPod Christmas’ – September 18, 2006
Enderle: Anticipating an Apple-Google Merger – September 05, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft’s ‘iPod killer’ Zune is ‘brilliant strategy’ – July 24, 2006
Big surprise: Enderle was wrong about Apple’s holiday quarter Mac sales – January 19, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft’s ‘PlaysForSure’ going to be a long-term problem for Apple – January 09, 2006
Enderle: ‘Some people got really excited by the new iPod, but a growing number of people did not’ – October 19, 2005
Judgement Day waits for Rob ‘fourth quarter should be ugly for Apple’ Enderle – October 11, 2005
Tech pundit Enderle: ‘Microsoft wrote the first Mac OS’ – September 28, 2005
Tech pundit Enderle: Apple’s Mac has about 12 months to prepare for Windows Vista threat – September 19, 2005
Tech pundit Enderle incorrectly compares Apple’s Mac OS to iPod licensing – September 01, 2005
Tech Pundit Enderle: ‘fourth quarter should be ugly for Apple’ – August 09, 2005
Enderle: ‘iPod Halo Effect is just a myth, same thing as having Paris Hilton visit Apple stores’ – May 02, 2005
Tech Pundit Enderle: ‘This year will be more difficult for Apple Computer’ and iMacs in earthquakes – January 24, 2005
Mary Enderle: Apple iMac G5 ‘isn’t a good desktop design, seems poorly thought out’ – September 10, 2004
Enderle: maybe it’s time for Apple and Sun to merge – August 10, 2004

83 Comments

    1. Maybe he has a brain tumor that causes him to write down the exact opposite of what he’s thinking. That’s the only generouse explanation I can find for mr Ederle’s take on things.

      1. It appears Enderle has a deep desire to be dominated by large matronly women. Hence the whole sexually oriented “penis iron” statement. The boy is hard for Meg, and he lusts over her pics on his iPad, it appears.

        1. Rob Enderle = Poster Child for a Click Whore
          =-=-=-=-=-=-
          Don’t do it – don’t reward him by clicking on the crap and reading it. I know your are tempted. It’s like a car crash – you know you shouldn’t look – but you have this urge. And when you finally see it – you so regret it. Fight the temptation. Fight it.

        2. Well, Carly Fiorentino* was hardly a large matronly woman. If anything, she was a (pardon my language) butch dike. Again, sorry for the language.

          *The name is in reference to Linda Fiorentino. Check out her movies where she regularly castrates men like Enderle.

      1. (From Ghostbusters, a classic line)
        Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
        Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
        Mayor: Is this true?
        Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it’s true.
        [pause]
        Dr. Peter Venkman: This man (Rob Enderle?) has no dick.

        1. Good one – funny how the statists always forget to mention their own when they impugn and attack… AND that “poor little college student” who needs ME to buy HER BCP is actually 30yo, and has been a community agitator for years. She is a plant by the ever-transparent pathetic left – pure and simple…

          PS: “Pay me to have sex, just don’t call me what I am cuz it hurts my feelings” – yeah – right…..

          1. How does it feel to make a complete fool of yourself on a world wide level, you fscking clown?

            She *IS* a college student. It’s called “law school”, you moron, a place that with your intellect and comprehension, you will never get close to. Most law students are near the age of 30.

            And she wasn’t advocating for herself. She was testifying that her friend who needed birth control pills to suppress uterine tumors, but her insurance wouldn’t pay for them, even though it was a MEDICAL necessity, not simple birth control.

            And don’t puff yourself up about what YOU pay for. I’m sure I pay more in taxes than you earn every year. You have my permission to withhold the $1.37 you’d otherwise have to pay in taxes. Turn off the fscking radio and get a life!

  1. I was wondering where this wonkiness came from, then realized it was from Enderle, who has apparently resorted to making up Consumer Reports quotes.

    Does anyone take this “group” seriously anymore?

    1. How can you take someone seriously who says things like:

      “I live in California, earthquake country, and the old iMac was one of the most stable products in its class, the new one places the weight too high and relies on a base that is too narrow making it likely that it would fall. Falling glass can be a huge hazard in a home late at night when you are trying to get the kids and family to safety during an earthquake.”

    1. From his list: My tombstone should read … “Had A Ball, Wish I Was Still There” “The world’s a better place without me.”

      Knew him at Rolm – he was totally out of his league then, even when people told him to go teach at a community college rather than try to sell stuff. Industry Expert indeed.

  2. What a scumbag. The dude has been wrong time and again. Look back at his poor track record in his bias opinions against Apple. It amazes me that such a douchebag is permitted to write such garbage.

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