“Chris Sevier, a man from Florida, believes he should be allowed to wed his Macbook,” David Millward reports for The Telegraph. “Mr Sevier argues that if gays should be allowed to marry, then so should other sexual minorities.”
“Mr Sevier states he has fallen in love with a pornography laden computer,” Millward reports. “‘Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,’ he told a court in Florida. This appears to be not a passing holiday romance, but a lifelong commitment. If gays have the right to ‘marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object,’ he said. Mr Sevier, who describes himself as ‘a former judge advocate and combat veteran,’ is persistent, filing claims not only in Florida but also Utah.”
“If gays feel as is they are second class citizens, Mr Sevier argues then ‘those of us in the real minority, who want to marry machines and animals, certainly feel like third class citizens,'” Millward reports. “Mr Sevier apparently sought a marriage licence for himself and his ‘machine spouse,’ but for some reason was denied. ‘The exclusion from marriage to a machine denies myself a dignity and status of immense import,’ he argues in his motion.”
Read more in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: Unconscious coupling.
If the name Chris Sevier rings a bell, it’s because he’s the
sane, oops, typo… same gentleman who sued Apple last year because its devices can display porn.God Bless America.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers far, far too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]
Related article:
Apple sued because its devices can display porn – July 12, 2013
He’s a suitor….
He’s sure gonna be heartbroken when the MacBook turns him down.
He’s holding it wrong.
Well, it’s unlikely anybody else wants to touch it to show him how to hold it correctly.
Fortunately he is wise enough to use a Mac, so he won’t be at risk of catching a nasty virus from his sexual activities.
Yes, but as an IT, I don’t think I want to touch his keyboard. Might be good to carry a spare MBP KB Keyboard Cover before visiting his house.
And the marrying animal thing is sick, a poor animal can’t consent, though if the relationship is at that point the poor animal has probably already been sexually abused.
It’s the final days….
Is there time to see the iWatch?
Moron.
Let him do it. I don’t care if he marries his MacBook. But if he buys a new MacBook afterwards, he will have to divorce his old one. No polygamy and no adultery!
Is this real? This can’t be real…
I’d hate to have to read through the EULA.
Florida should let him ONLY if he agrees to lock the doors of his house and never, ever contact anyone in public again.
Oscar Wilde wrote “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life”
Has anyone seen the 2013 movie HER?
Samantha was quite bewitching
In HER, the OS is an AI who has learnt sexual arousal and can not only simulate orgasm, as human females are wont to do in the way of reassuring their mates, but experience it fully. I’d be really interested in seeing the code for those algorhythms.
they’re in my DNA.
Best answer ever. Might even be true 😉
You know when people warn about the “Slippery Slope”?
Well, here you go.
Slippery slope requires that there be similarities between the precedent and the following. This is akin to the argument that giving women the right to vote also give laptops the right to vote.
So, yes, if you are insane as Servier, then this is a slippery slope. If you don’t have your head shoved all the way up your ass, it is not.
You are reading too much into the comment…
Let this be allowed, and just wait to see what will be next, 3 way with an iPhone.
And yes, people have been allowed to marry themselves.. And if I’m not mistaken… At least tried to marry animals as well.
A laptop.. The guy should try to marry a website instead, then he can view it on any device with no restrictions.
And there’s as much chance of danger to society in this situation as every other time conservatives scream “slippery slope”. The main thing the world has going for it that conservatives for all their zeal lack even a basic understanding of the merits of them but on the other side’s arguments. Gay marriage has won on an equal protection argument. Laptops are not afforded equal protection rights.
And YOU are reading way too much into this.
Did I specifically mention gay marriage in that post? nope…
Slippery Slope in general, THIS instance the dumbass in the article mentions it… I didn’t.
-“certainly feel like third class citizens”
So you should you stupid twat. 3rd class is being generous
If he wanted to wed a Windows 8 netbook, instead of third class citizen, would that be no class citizen?
Because a person and his computer should have the same legal rights as two people … sounds legit.
Untreated mental illness is a tragedy, not a joke. I hope this guy gets the help he needs.
-jcr
surprised he’s not already an Obama cabinet member. I hear there is an opening coming up soon.
You still mad that you were turned down.
Can’t imagine why?
I’ll bet they told you that you were “over qualified”.
I always that MacBooks were sexy computers, not sure I’d want to marry one but a fling, sure.
Cant wait for the 3D printer printed “mannyQuin” update to the MacAir wedding of the century……….
Only in America………………………..!!
The first Macbook came out in 2006, so that would make his ‘machine spouse’ under 10 years old. Going to have to change many laws to make that legal.
How long does any Macbook last? How long before you’re no longer able to install Mac OS X OS updates? How long do you keep your Macbook before getting the next great thing? If dogs to human years is 7 to 1 and cats is 6 to 1, maybe Macbooks are…
longer than most marriages.
I wouldn’t be concerned about the age difference, as a MacBook year is much shorter then human years. I’m guessing his MacBook to at least be in it’s 30’s.
Why doesn’t he just marry himself? I mean, how can he consummate his marriage to a laptop? It’s obvious one of hands are doing all the work! lol
So you’re saying he should dump the Macbook and start dating the iPhone because Apple bestowed upon it the “one handed usability” rule regarding screen size.
Perhaps he’s a serial portist.
actually, this is really sad. He’s an Iraq vet who suffers from PTSD. He graduated from Vanderbilt Law School (he’s obviously not stupid) but has since been put on disability inactive status due to mental issues. He was convicted of stalking a country music singer after violating several restraining orders. He now had to wear a GPS tracking device as a result. I hope he gets help.
sounds like he got help.
Stupid American 💨
Thought I was reading the news for California.
Never shake that mans hand, and never, EVER, do any work on his computer.
If he connects a 3d printer he can have a threesome. Or he can pick up a hooker by installing parallels and windows.
If a freeze occurs, lasting more than 4 hours, needs IT assistance immediately, because of the risk of floppy disk damage which could cause permanent loss of hard drive.
Not quite. You have forgotten a key difference between computers and people. You see, with computers, it’s the software that goes in the hardware — but with people…
Marriage requires consent of both parties. Unless his MacBook has some amazing AI qualities no other computer in the world possesses this should be an easy case to dismiss.
For certain though, despite his claims this has absolutely nothing to do with the case for same sex marriage.
The guy will most likely say he is an ‘animist’, believing there is spirit in inanimate objects. And he’ll say his MacBook talks to him, which is amusing as it might actually talk to him. And he’ll say that his MacBook verbally consented to marriage. Of course, he probably told his MacBook to say that. But what do you expect? He’s a loony.
I was also thinking about the bizarre male fear of female genitalia with teeth biting off their weenie. Here we have a nutjob who appears to WANT that to happen.
Nurse, start him on a Thorazine drip please.
Not saying I’m against gay marriage but I was concerned it would be a slippery slope giving any weirdo an excuse to want to marry another animated or non-animated object, animal, car what have you. After all it’s all in the pursuit of happiness ain’t it? Pandora’s Box has been opened.
I’m certain that the only reason this man is bringing this case is to invent this so called slippery slope. It has nothing in common with the case for extending marriage to same sex couples.
Isn’t that what traditionalists were saying when they were against ‘same sex’ bringing cases so as to invent a reclassification of the definition of ‘marriage’?
I’m not debating the legitimacy of what a real relationship is between opposite or same gender couples but if the law would be perverted by the inclusion of same sex couples and used as an excuse to legally include any sort of coupling. Fortunately there are few other species on Earth that also have the ability to grant consent so much ado about nothing, or let’s hope. With our screwy legal system anything twisted is possible.
I’m not aware of ANY other species capable of giving consent to marry a human. Not gonna happen. And of course, the same will remain forever true of inanimate objects. But then there are the robots. Could a robot consent to wed a human? Give it the Turing test! 😉
Siri, will you marry me? Is that a computer phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me…
That’s why Apple is updating iPhone to a larger size. Who wants to say they have 4 inches in their pocket when they can boast 5.5!
From my experience, Siri is ‘smart’ enough, (aka has in her database of options the response) NOT to accept any requests for marriage.
OK nurse. It’s time for electroshock therapy. Attach the electrodes.
NO! To his HEAD! Not his nuts! I merely said he “IS” nuts. Not to fry his nuts! Your act of initiative is NOT appreciated.
Wait—in your experience? Have you asked her, even in jest, or as a scientific experiment? I’m hurt you would consider her. 🙁
*embarrassment*
heehee
I’m not a Siri expert. I never asked her to marry me. Take heart.
Yeah I was joking – “few” as in none. (Dolphins maybe? I was in love with bottle-nosed dolphins once ala FLIPPER heh.) I was thinking too – Aliens and AI Robots & OS’s ala “HER” may change things too. And then what if the Aliens are both he and she? Marrying a Windows OS would be hell of course and subject to BSOD sort of like Stella to your Harry Mudd.
Oh how interesting. The story series I have been writing address those questions about alien, ahem, interrelations. My main character occasionally brags about such interrelations with ‘feminine’ aliens. But he does draw the line at one particularly slimy creature. I suspect I got this concept from Dr. Who’s Captain Jack. He, of course, wouldn’t care if the alien was he or she.
“HARCOURT FENTON MUDD!!!!”
Yes I have been consorting with Aliens as well via an indie found footage movie. Good things happening there.
Very good sir. You know your Star Trek references “you lazy good for nothing thing… thing… thing…” 🙂
One of my favorite episodes. Humor in sci-fi.
My laptop just sits there all day… Conscious Uncoupling…, I want a divorce! Or, would that be a disconnect?!?
Chris Sevier, a man from Florida, believes he should be allowed to wed his Macbook <–Get another straitjacket! We’ve got yet another loony!!
It’s a busy day at the loony bin.
One flew over the cuckoos nest.