Kevin Rose: Apple Watch Edition is perfect for douchebags

“I’m a mechanical watch collector and self admitted Apple fanboy. I wanted to love the Apple Watch Edition (Edition = marketing speak for “gold”). But I don’t understand the value here outside of the literal 1-2 troy ounces of 18k gold ($900-$1,800),” Kevin Rose writes for TechCrunch. “With its luxury watch offering, Apple missed me as both a technologist and collector.”

“For Apple to succeed with the Watch Edition it would need to offer us more, technically,” Rose writes. “Sadly this is not the case here, as nothing is different technically in this watch except for the addition of gold, for which you pay an over $7k markup.”

“The watch collector craves the story, the artisanship of a collectable watch. We enjoy the painstaking craftsmanship that goes into making a timepiece that will last for decades,” Rose writes. “For me to purchase this watch as a collector, Apple would need to create a different (and more expensive) fabrication process that uses new internal (not just external) materials, specifically built to stand the test of time. Sell me on the story of lasting technology, a watch that even when out of date will still function for my grandkids, a watch that won’t be shuffled off to a corner of your closet like an old iPod.”

“So, I’m lost,” Rose writes. “Who is this watch for?”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Rose is lost because his criteria are as flawed as a Digg redesign.

The Apple Watch Edition is not for the technologist or the timepiece collector. It’s for monied people who want and can afford the best (and, for them, the “best” Apple Watch is the Apple Watch Edition). There vast majority of people in this target market are neither technologists nor timepiece collectors, and, no, they’re not all “douchebags,” either. Apple Watch Edition will succeed wildly in selling to its target audience, just as Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch will to each of theirs. Apple Watch Ediiton will also sell untold numbers of Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch units. Watch and see.

As SteveJack wrote in our Opinion section earlier this week: Apple is brilliant. These gorgeous 18-karat gold Apple Watch Editions will begin showing up on the wrists of celebrities, famous athletes, and captains of industry very soon. And they will influence the rest of the world to lust after Apple Watch, too. And, here’s more Apple brilliance, unlike a $51,500 Piaget watch, your average Joe and Jane… will actually be able to partake in the same exact user experience with the Apple Watch and Apple Watch Sport.

Of interest to real technologists and collectors:

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Sparkles” for the heads up.]

65 Comments

    1. So, if people who’ll buy and wear an Watch Edition are “douchebags”, then the same applies to everyone who wears a watch costing the same or more, i.e., Rolexes, Omegas, etc.

      Clearly, the Edition model is not for everyone. It’s certainly waaaaay beyond my price range, but if others want to buy it, that’s OK with me.

      1. Not exactly. A Rolux or luxury watch equivalent has technology and a limited range of features that won’t ever become outdated whereas technology in an Apple Watch will change probably every year. Unless you have ridiculous amounts of money what’s the point of spending $12,000 on a watch that will be updated in a relatively short amount of time? Well other than short term bragging rights. The resale value of this watch and depreciation will have more in common with a car once driven off the lot.

        It would have been more interesting if the Apple Special Edition was guaranteed not to be obsolete for at least 5 years with replaceable internal components. Of course we don’t yet know what Apple plans for the Watch upgrade cycle yet.

      2. You obviously have failed to read the article with any degree of comprehension. The Edition is a small, overpriced, gold box filled with a few hundred dollars of electronics. An artisan watch at the same price level (like a Rolex GMT-MASTER II, for instance) is filled with a hand-crafted precision machine, well worth the money. The case and strap on a Rolex are nice additions, but they ain’t the be-all and end-all of the device.

        1. And a Citizen or Seiko will perform as well as or (generally) better than a Rolex or TAG Heuer for far less.

          People aren’t buying enormously expensive swiss watches for functionality’s sake; must be some other reason, no?

      3. I don’t think MDN understands the issue here. As they themselves have touted, there is no functional difference between the Apple Watch Sport and the Apple Watch Edition. It’s the same thing in a gold case. So why buy it? There’s only one reason: to show off the bling. You’re essentially buying expensive jewelry with an Apple Watch inside.

        You can’t compare the $17,000 Apple Watch Edition to an expensive Rolex, because you can’t get a Rolex for $350 that’s every bit as good only with a less expensive outer case. $17,000 doesn’t get you a better Apple Watch. It just gets you a nicer looking Apple Watch. That’s the douchebag factor.

        We have all laughed at people who buy diamond-encrusted cases for their iPhones, or iPhones modded to be gold-plated. The Apple Watch Edition is essentially the same thing, but now it’s Apple themselves doing it.

        ——RM

        1. And in what sense does the Rolex get you a better watch than a Citizen or a Casio? They both know the time and correct daily, does the Rolex? The Casio second hand falls with complete accuracy on each of the second marks around the dial in a way I have not seen a Rolex do. I only looked at very few over time, maybe they can. But if Casio can make a watch with every ounce of precision that a Rolex can muster, certainly all the precision you can make use of, what does the Rolex offer? For non douchbags.

          And in what sense does the Rolex not become outdated? The Casio tells you the time, the Rolex will do so too, once YOU tell IT. Surely, given the role of the watch among non douchbags, the Casio is ‘better’? Surely the Apple watch outdates the Rolex It does what the Rolex can do, tell the time, better. And it can do very much more. Like actually remind you of the things you’re supposed to be doing at the oh-so-precisely measured point in time. The Rolex IS outdated and has been for years.

          I do not argue against beautifully designed and engineered watches. I love them. But only in my capacity as a douchebag, just the same as the rest of us.

          1. If you seriously believe a f***ing Casio is the same quality as a Rolex, I don’t know what to tell you. Any watch expert reading your post just died laughing.

            ——RM

            1. Read my last paragraph will you, or did my post exceed your attention span?

              A Casio is not on the same planet as Rolex in terms of quality, but that extra quality serves NO functional, practical purpose. It is for those of US (i.e. people like me) who value expensive but unnecessary craftsmanship. My point was if Apple Edition watch is for douchbags, like me, then so is Rolex.

            2. Yes, your post exceeded my attention span. As soon as someone tries to compare Rolex to Casio, I stop wasting my time reading. I’m certainly not going to waste any time arguing the point.

              ——RM

      4. When I imagine being a billionaire, the last thing I want on my wrist is the Apple Watch Edition. The word kitsch comes to mind. Now if I’m a wealthy health enthusiast, the $599 version is good enough.

        I can only imagine that those people with garish giant white statues on their lawns as you drive by on Sunset in Beverly Hills might be interested.

        Here’s the interesting thing…. I can’t see Tim Cook having the poor taste as to buy a $10,000 – $17,000 Apple Watch Edition. He seems to down to earth for such a thing.

        I wouldn’t use the word douchebag, but I understand what Kevin means.

        I think this guy would buy one.

      5. I agree ..if edition apple is for duchbags so is a rolex.
        All this talk about internals is bogus.. At the end of tye day most people pay the price becouse of it limited availibilty and status symbol.. They feel part of the elite by wearing one !
        Not becouse of internals… ( very few may )

        Apples edition is extremely limited in supply .. Its the 1st of it kind for apple …. Its pricy… And imho beautiful ! Putting it in total luxsury realm.. Like any other luxsury item.
        Specially so for collectors by being 1st edition.

        All these competition’s trolls should take a hike..
        If u wear a rollex you are making the same statment as u will with the apple watch.
        U want to call it douchbag.. Be my guest.

    2. To be more specific, Apple is really targeting this edition at Chinese douchebags.

      In China and most of the rest of Asia, conspicuous displays of wealth are cultural expectations for the successful. They will sell loads of them in Asia.

    3. So, are all Edition clients douchebags simply for purchasing the item? Or is it because they can afford it? In other words, rich people who spend their money extravagantly are douchebags? But you really mean, and based on the quoted article, they’re simply fools for spending money on a status symbol that’s nowhere near the value of your purchase.

      In other words, you’re just a jealous 98 percenter and obviously so because douchebag is, where I come from, an asshole that harms another person out of naivety. I don’t see how purchasing such an overvalued product ‘hurts,’ except for your feelings of inadequacy, which is where your jealous stems from, and what attracts you to the stupidity of Marxism.

      Why do you give a shit what somebody else does with their money?

    4. The Apple Watch Edition is for people who have an lot of extra money and don’t mind spending it. That, by itself, doesn’t make them douchebags.

      Everything is relative. If spending a lot of money on something that isn’t a necessity makes one a douchebag, then Kevin Roses might be considered a douchebag by someone just scraping by to get food on the table and avoid getting evicted. That would put a lot of us in that category.

      The rich are just rich, for the most part. They take that for granted and have no clue what it means to be without that wealth. That does not make them bad people. And I suspect that most of the name-callers wouldn’t mind having some of that moey, em selves.

  1. “Rose is lost because his criteria are as flawed as a Digg redesign.”

    OUCH! Love it, but ouch!

    MDN is right, as usual, and the those most likely to call those who’ve made it “douchebags” are the douchebags who haven’t made it.

    1. Regular you had me right up until you went with “Those who’ve “made it”. PUH-Leeze – do you think Warren Buffet will buy one? Ross Perot? President Obama?

      The types of folks who will buy this are any Kardashian, Kanye West, Larry Ellison (will probably buy 2), and Elon Musk…IE Douchebags.

      1. Flambouyancy is a charachter trait, some like low profile others want to scream…

        Live and let live, not your thing? Don’t buy it .

        There’s no accounting for taste.

  2. Except that there is a story to how the gold is processed to create a case that should be 2x as hard and long lasting as other gold watches. A non-standard approach to refinement is not cheap and requires an investment in all new foundry technology to make it work.

    1. Just manual polishing is not enough of manual work for those “elitists”.

      Also, they maybe would like for Apple to install exclusive 24/7 support line for Watch Edition owners with services like ordering golf sessions, Yacht trips, and so on — similar to what luxury cars offer.

      And maybe they would like upgrade service for Watch Edition so the innards would be always top notch even years from now.

      1. It’s more than polishing. Apple has a totally different alloy mix for 18k gold than everyone else – which allows it to be 2x harder. It is a very sophisticated process and they have had to file to some federal agency to allow their alloy mix to be called 18k gold because the weight of the added alloys is different than the standard alloys which affects the standard measurement of gold content.

        1. The density is different, but the “weight ratio” of 18k gold is, by definition, 75% gold and 25% other than gold. It did not take an act of the government to allow Apple to engrave “18k” on the Edition.

  3. So, basically, vanity merchandising? No real substance for the value, no real intersection of technology, humanity, and function/value.

    In comparison, Apple’s 1997 Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh limited-edition personal computer was, tech-wise and style wise, cutting edge for its time, and with an initial price tag (that kept dropping) of $7500, was a commercial bust.

  4. Kevin Rose -the actual douchebag – Nice gold watches cost 3x to 5x, their weight in GOLD. If you collect this, name a few SOLID gold on your collection that are cheaper than this
    You are only telling this story to hard mouth Real people who can afford it without thinking twice. You like me need to think when buying a watch that costs a third of our car.

  5. There is nothing quite like the level of sub par intelligence demonstrated by the question “So I’m lost, who is this watch for?” when the answer is right in the headline “The Gold Watch is Perfect for Douchebags.”

    It’s right at the level of someone who can’t figure out how to empty pee our of a boot cause the instructions are written on the bottom of the boot. It’s common with people who have lost their sole.

    So let’s take a look at the definition of a douchebag taking into account that more than likely it’s not referring to a device for a vagina. That puts douchebag in the realm of “An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.”

    Heck, I know a country that has worked really hard, below and beyond the call of moronicity to demonstrate that it is absolutely full of them. It will sell well, and actually for those who do the iCal thing, I’m sure Kevin Rose will own one, or his rent a girl will. Unless he’s secretly dating Tim Cook. Could there be breakup clowns on the horizon?

    1. I agree. I see the WATCH EDITION as also a way to gain maximum visibility of WATCH by putting thousands of them into the advertising budget where they give them to all the stars that appear on red carpets regularly and Hollywood gossip and talk shows. I can see Ellen wearing hers all the time and giving her studio audience all WATCH SPORT models one day in May. 💥😜🚀😱

  6. These arguments are to be honest, ridiculous.

    Might as well call anyone who wears gold jewellery “douchebags”. Why don’t we all wear accessories made of recycled aluminium can and beer bottles, right?

    A watch is no longer a device that you simply carry, it’s something you wear and becomes your identity. If you happen to like gold and have the means to buy it what’s wrong with that?

    I bet these are the same critics who would be clamouring Google for launching an expensive gold watch because it was giving buyers “choice”. Or the same glassholes who rushed to pay $1000 for Google’s pointless, ugly and intrusive wearable product made of plastic.

  7. The gold Apple Watch is a pure vanity item and it will not hold its value over time like a Rolex or IWC.

    In a few years, I expect to see them on the same WTF shelf as the G4 Cube and TAM.

    Bottom line: Just get the stainless version and you won’t be as upset in a couple of years when it’s time to replace it.

    1. “The gold Apple Watch is a pure vanity item…”

      No its the expensive version of a very good product.

      “…it will not hold its value over time…”

      Most products don’t.

      Someone who has the personality, money and social circle that involves wearing $60,000 watches isn’t going to blink at spending $10,000 or so every year or two if they want Apple Watch functionality.

      Yes, it is a different product from other expensive watches in being technology that will go out of date, but that doesn’t mean there is no market for it.

  8. “a watch that even when out of date will still function for my grandkids”

    1st: I doubt that the vast majority of grandkids will want to wear mechanical watches.

    2nd: He may be dead wrong about Apple’s intent regarding upgrading the watch. I have become increasingly convinced that they will provide an upgrade path. It will sell more watches, especially the Edition model. It would also reinforce its desire to be environmentally friendly by replacing the internals and recycling the old parts. This would reduce the Watches contribution to the land fill to zero.

    Here is an article that supports this view:
    Why Apple Watch Will Be Apple’s Most Upgradeable Product
    http://m.benzinga.com/article/5319245

    1. Yes, since the system is all on one chip and the battery is replaceable, Apple may provide upgrade chips for a fraction of the watch price overall. But when they add the camera we’ll probably need to buy a new watch. 💥😃🚀😩

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