“Following the company’s announcement that it would discontinue public sales of the wearable technology, Google officials confirmed Monday that all unsold units of Google Glass would be donated to underprivileged assholes in Africa,” The Onion, America’s Finest News Source, reports.
“‘We are committed to positively impacting the lives of poverty-stricken smug pricks by distributing the surplus inventory of Google Glass to self-important fucks throughout sub-Saharan Africa,’ a statement released by the company read in part,” The Onion reports, “adding that the program will provide the optical head-mounted technology, as well as professional training sessions, to destitute communities of conceited dicks from Sierra Leone, to Somalia, to Botswana.”
The Onion reports, “‘This gesture will help tens of thousands of poor and needy men, women, and children across the continent who have never had the opportunity to walk around looking like a pompous jackass all day long.'”
Read more in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: As always, we salute Our Lady of Perpetual Beta.
Did you know that the first family in Africa to receive their Google Glass units live in a hut made entirely of Zunes?
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You got to love the Onion. So funny it makes your eyes water.
They’ll coordinate quite well with the Baltimore Ravens AFC Champions T-shirts.
I guess I don’t care enough about pro football to get that joke. Did I miss anything?
Ravens didn’t win the AFC Champions
So: nope.
Clearly baldgheadedjohn and Artist are your your dual straight guy.
Hahahaha! I LOL fer real that time. 😜
You white piece of caca! How dare you!
Boko Haram using Google Glass to videotape their victims as they go down in a hail of bullets and bombs, while listening to Mo Better Blues through the built-in headphones! 😀
I love The Onion.
Truer things are said in jest. 🙂
This piece of news was totally unnecessary. The headline was enough to ignore it. MDN should know better.. I guess they don’t!
But you didn’t ignore it, did you? It’s not “news”, it’s satire. Something like what Charlie Hebdo did. Grow a funny bone if you want to be truly human.
Ha ha.. now it is funny that some one who doesn’t even have the patience to listen to others is talking about growing a funny bone to be truly human. Are you?? It has become fashionable to bring Charlie Hebdo into every conversation. Most of the world doesn’t even know about Charlie Hebdo, but everyone one will relate to the carnage that took place in Paris due to that, which has shocked everyone sane out of their minds. Now.. forget it…
Don’t quite get that “doesn’t have patience” bit, dude. There’s nothing “fashionable” in holding up Charlie Hebdo as an example of how important it is to have a sense of humor about everything. And I apologize if I sounded like I was comparing you to those sub-humans who attacked Hebdo. But the right to laugh is a basic human right that needs defending after Hebdo.
Wow… I lolled for real. I wasn’t expecting to find an Onion article here. It was a good one. 😄
*choking on morning coffee*
Hilarious.