“The rollout of the Apple iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus was something of a disaster insofar as its streaming of the event was concerned. It was a major gaffe; a total embarrassment for Tim Cook,” John Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. “None of this bodes well for Apple cloud services or anything Apple does that that involves scaling up to handle more users.”
MacDailyNews Take: Further, a live webcast has nothing whatsoever to do with Apple’s iCloud or anything Apple does that that involves scaling up to handle more users, beyond live webcasting. That said, The inept hack responsible for Apple’s livestream yesterday should have already received his pink slip by now, if Apple is still operating properly.
“Yes, there was the expected watch, dubbed the Apple Watch,” Dvorak writes. “Yawn.”
“Yes, the watch is nerd cool with a good interface and sensors and one is 18K gold. But I’m not going to be using anything like this as my navigation map while I’m driving in around San Francisco,” Dvorak writes. “It is simply not that much different than the other watches—or an iPod nano for that matter.”
“Guess what? I’m not going to go buy an Apple Watch. A lot of people will get one to show off to their friends. It’s disappointing that it does not incorporate a phone. Fine, okay, it’s a watch not a phone,” Dvorak writes. “It’s also not a camera (but is a viewfinder for the iPhone camera). It requires ownership of a new iPhone (5 or 6). And the phone has to be with you for the watch to be useful. I do not like this idea.”
MacDailyNews Take: Of course, the Apple Watch is plenty useful without the iPhone. But understanding that would take approximately 5 minutes of research, so Dvorak is out, of course.
“I have to assume that in the future there will be a camera on the phone for the next generation of selfies and there will be an integrated phone, not just this walkie-talkie nonsense,” Dvorak writes. “And you can be sure if Apple Pay becomes popular it will be on the Apple Watch — a device which was actually predicted by IBM in the 1980s.”
Read more in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: As if a “prediction” nullifies anything. Where’s the oh-so-prescient IBM’s “IBM Watch” that executes “IBM Pay” mobile payments seamlessly and securely? Answer: There isn’t one, of course – not from IBM or any other so-called technology company.
The Bloated Gasbag™ is like the anti-hereMikey: If Dvorak hates it, everybody else is going to love it!
With Dvorak’s infamous and utterly predictable kiss of life, Apple Watch is now a certified hit. Cases in point:
• “There are a lot of flaws with the MacBook Air, and it is unlikely to be much of a success.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, January 25, 2008
• “Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone… What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it’s smart it will call the iPhone a ‘reference design’ and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else’s marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures… Otherwise I’d advise people to cover their eyes. You are not going to like what you’ll see.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, March 28, 2007
• “iPhone which doesn’t look, I mean to me, I’m looking at this thing and I think it’s kind of trending against, you know, what’s really going, what people are really liking on, in these phones nowadays, which are those little keypads. I mean, the Blackjack from Samsung, the Blackberry, obviously, you know kind of pushes this thing, the Palm, all these… And I guess some of these stocks went down on the Apple announcement, thinking that Apple could do no wrong, but I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, January 13, 2007
• “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse.’ There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, February 19, 1984
Related articles:
Dvorak: I really cannot see much of a need for Apple iPad – October 22, 2010
Dvorak on Apple iPad: ‘First of all there is no stylus’ – January 29, 2010
Dvorak: Apple’s MacBook Air unlikely to be much of a success – January 25, 2008
Dvorak on Apple iPhone: ‘I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it’ – January 13, 2007
John Dvorak is a bloated old windbag that can go and suck Pond Water!!!!!
It’s that time of the month again for
It’s that time of the month again for John. Biologically.
Jeeze, this guy has been a stick in the mud for over 30 years. His own dog must hate him. I have usually found, as I do with most critics, that is usually the best policy to believe the complete opposite.
I thought this puke had died! Or is that wishful thinking?
Dvorak is a VERB
Dvorak not liking something new from Apple – Yawn!
Haven’t we seen this movie before?
Good, thank you Dvorak, I would have been scared if he did like it. He never likes anything Apple does well.
Time to stop even posting his stuff. But would be nice to send him all the previous predictions and ask for an explanation now.
Why does anyone listen to a word this inept idiot spouts? He has been so clearly wrong on nearly everything he has ever “proclaimed”. What a windbag of techno-douchery
Surprise surprise the old fart ain’t interested.
Well news for Dovrak, Apple don’t give a damn about you.
Nice to see he hates it. He has been wrong every time since 1984. Very few people are that consistent.
This is all of the same sort of B.S. from the techosphere that we’ve seen with iPhone and iPad in year’s past . . . FAILURE! IT’S GOING TO FAIL! . . . And then the public does what it always does — it takes a good hard look. It visits Apple stores in droves measuring millions. It plays with the new device, tries it on. It sees the difference a thousand little decisions each resulting in clever precision. And it buys. It buys millions of them.
And then other companies follow. And their fans say Apple did not invent a damn thing, just “iterated” or “refined” or, blasphemously even “stole” the ideas of others and just marketed it better.
We’ve all seen this happen before.
If you’re an investor, buy the stock. If you’re a human being who wants to live in his/her time, buy the device and enjoy the hell out of it.
“The Apple Watch uses an experimental user interface called a “Digital Crown”. There is no evidence that people want to use these things. John C. Dvorak 1984…er I mean 2014.
Poe’s Law is in full effect, the man is impossible to parody at this point.
Thank GOD! Now we KNOW the Apple Watch will be a success!
——RM
What a bloated GassBag LOL. For us old timers, we are used to that jabbathehut gass ball talking out of his butt. I believe the once stated the mouse on the Mac was ridiculous and no one would use it.
He has $5 in his bank. Don’t think he can even afford a Mickey Mouse watch.
Haven’t warn a watch in 40 years, BUT I might wear this one!!!
If Dvorak says it will fail, that should be good for ~1.5 billion net income. He’s almost a perfect negative correlation.
I just cancelled my subscription to PC magazine and will boycott any other publication that prints his opinions. Obviously he passed on an opportunity to buy Apple stock in the 80’s for 10 cents a share and has been bitter ever since.
Dvorak? Yawn, I’m not going to read him.
Dvorak is an ignorant clown. He’s showing the tech world that his opinions should not be taken seriously.
“And you can be sure if Apple Pay becomes popular it will be on the Apple Watch — a device which was actually predicted by IBM in the 1980s.”
Obviously the guy didn’t watch the keynote, or fell asleep when Tim Cook showed the video of the Apple Watch being used to make a payment.
He’s the Imam if the PC world much like the Imams of radical Islam. His job is to predict failure at Apple. It is really comedic as he gets it so amazingly wrong. Does he own PC Magazine? Even ZDNet.com had to give up on the perfunctory Apple bashing. Dvorak is the world’s foremost PC apologist/evangelist/FUDder. And he is EXCELLENT at being wrong. Has it down to an art form!