“And now for a steamy lawsuit. A lewd, lascivious lawsuit that, though it lacks naughty close-ups, makes up for them in, some might say, naked gall,” Chris Matyszczyk reports for CNET.
“For here is a legal demand that Apple should sell its products with a built-in antiporn filter,” Matyszczyk reports. “Yes, a Tennessee lawyer is suing Apple because its products are exposing him to rottenness at his core… It seems that Chris Sevier, a lawyer of disputed age from Nashville, believes that Apple is so very negligent in allowing its customers to immediately access that thing called the Web — the one where pornography lurks around every corner.”
Matyszczyk reports, “Sevier claims, you see, to have been a victim — a victim of porn. He is sad that Apple didn’t warn him of the ‘damage that pornography causes.’ Moreover, he insists that he was trying to log onto Facebook.com when a completely innocent maneuver — a spelling mistake — landed him on F***book.com.
This ‘appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and led to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.'”
MacDailyNews Take: We’ll pause as most everyone — of appropriate age and NSFW, of course — checks out F***book.com.
Matyszczyk continues, “It’s quite obvious (at least to Sevier) that Apple should have known this would happen. After all, there are millions of porn addicts roaming the world, causing havoc and even standing for public office in New York. The complaint says that ‘Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal.’ Yes, that is a quote. It seems that ‘hormones’ may, in Sevier’s head, be harmonious.”
More comedy in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: That’s what we call a frivolascivious lawsuit.
There’s porn on the Internet!? Where?
My favorite Family Guy scene ever was where Quagmire discovered internet porn.
I think it is only on his guy’s iOS device. Who new!
It’s far more likely that Apple would get sued if iOS devices DID have a “porn-filter.” 🙂
Based on his “typo”, it is obvious to me that Sevier is a F*ckface.
Apple and the court should be able to seek damages from this idiot for wasting their time and resources.
“Nashville lawyer accused of stalking John Rich”
http://blogs.tennessean.com/tunein/2013/06/25/nashville-lawyer-accused-of-stalking-john-rich/
To funny! This guys not only an idiot but a stalker.
What a scum bag. Someone should make the world a better place and just take him out.
does it really well, actually…
Decades ago he could have tried to sue trees because they result in the paper on which nekkid womens are displayed in them evil godforsaken durty muggazines like Playboy.
This should be interesting.
these porn lawsuits always end up the same: tit for tat.
You mean tit for nut.
I thought that referred to alternative payment means at subdermal artistic rendition parlors.
Sue Google for display porn search !!
Plus the spelling mistake can happen on any PC or device with a browser with access to the Internet.
Did he not make the mistake before Apple devices existed!??
The man probably has a small package that he’s trying to distract everyone’s attention from…sorry about your penis dude, now get a life.
Wait, what? There’s Porn on the Internet?
Nobody ever tells me anything…. 🙁
If only Apple built really solid parental controls into their devices – so parent’s load a device with kid friendly apps, block access to the web browser and app store, and then hand the device to their kids knowing it can’t be used for porn.
Oh wait – they did – http://www.apple.com/itunes/inside-itunes/2012/11/using-parental-controls-in-itunes-and-on-ios-devices.html
“frivolascivious lawsuit”
MacDailyNews coins another one!
I am suing because I see Google, Microsoft, Dell, Samsung, HP, et al when I get onto the internet. I should have been warned…
I don’t watch PORN because I was led to believe that going to the grocery store can lead to SEX at the check out stand. Not true at all. I’m gonna sue!
The ‘a’ and ‘e’ keys are on the left hand side of the keyboard, while the ‘u’ and ‘k’ are on the right. I have a very hard time believing he typed them by mistake.
But whatever. Nothing is more fun than watching a pious idiot make a fool of himself.
Not on the Dvorak keyboard, Montex. All four are on the left side.
F***book.com isn’t even porn. It’s an adult networking site. It’s even relatively tasteful considering the nature of the site.
Maybe his real complaint is that he couldn’t get hooked up there either.
So because some cheapskate numpty lawyer (FFS) can’t take responsibility for his own actions, he resorts to legal action by suing Apple — not his ISP, not Google, not the owners of the site, but APPLE. How the fuck did this moron ever pass the Bar?
I’ll be the one at trial in the public gallery with the industrial-sized bag of popcorn, a sun lounger and a large cooler of Pimms.
=:~)
He is no longer permitted to practice law “due to mental illness or infirmity” which, unfortunately, does not prevent him from filing nuisance suits like this in pro per. . . representing himself.
I read up more on this and find it hard to believe the complaint isn’t just straight-up satire.
Ahhhhh, so that’s why BLN keeps clamoring for a larger screen iPhone!
I thought it was July not April 1st.
Disgusting parasites, leeches wanted to suck Apple blood, simply because Apple has so much money.
He probably owns stock in f**kbook.com and is using this trick to help promote it. You’ve all been suckered!
Someone please sterilize this dumb motherfucker.
Wow! This guy would make even the most brazen ambulance chasing lawyer blush!
Ever notice that if there was a Nonpartisan issue in Congress, it’s issues regarding Porn on the internet.
NOBODY wants to mess that up… Now C’mon…
I’m also fascinated by how nobody ever mentions the benefits of an Ipad mobile device in this regard… talk about reasons so much product moved…
I don’t know how accurate this information is, but apparently the guy suffers from PTSD, was deployed in Iraq, and lost his law license due to “mental issues.” Sounds like he needs help and treatment (assuming he’s not faking it, and I assume he’s not faking). Sad if this is the case.
This reminds me of the story of the guy who bought a RV, read the part in the manual about cruise control, which he says said it was auto-pilot then put the RV in cruise control while driving and went in the back and made a sandwich. Of course the RV crashed and he sued the RV maker and won that the manual wasn’t clear that the RV could actual drive itself.
Apple has blocked explicit content on apps on iOS but not through the browser. For example, Zinio sells Playboy, Penthouse, etc that can be viewed on a Macintosh but not on an iPad.
That said, the browser can still pull up all that is not in Flash on the net.
I think Apple is wrong for restricting the apps and would be wrong to restrict the web browser. If you do not want to look at porn, don’t go looking for porn. Parents have the rights and responsibility to supervise their children, teach their children and protect their children- not Apple or any ISP.
Fewer lawsuits and more common sense is the answer.
Okay, after reading the “Brief”, I have to comment. Apparently the person in question has no self control and should be pt under house arrest without any electronics whatsoever.
It is ether that or the next icon in IOS is going to look like a condom for “Parental Control”.
Perhaps this person should just grow up and stop acting like a typical hormonized teenager?
Oh, the lawyer is not the plaintiff in this case and apparently does not own any Apple products because he can’t spell MacBook or Safari correctly either, let alone the word “hormones”.
Incredibly poor writing for a lawyer – almost as bad as the case itself. The judge should throw it out based on the unintelligence of the lawyer and it also looks bad for Tennessee.
This looks like he wants Apple to put warning labels on everything to the effect of “Don’t operate the toaster while standing in water”.
Me Thinks He Doth Protest too Much.
Next he’ll have to sue Apple for making him go blind.
hahahahahaha hihihihihhi…. There are huge nuts in the world. We just read about one.
Just more evidence that far too many lawyers are a parasitic lower life form.
The lawyer should have sued the school he attended for failing to teach him how to spell.
the lawsuit like Apple own rounded corners against samsung.
Aside from being frivolous as a matter law in that requiring that Apple devices come with a default setting that blocks porn, this lawsuit is frivolous as matter of facts, because: (1) Apple’s products do come with parental controls that the Administrator account-holder can manage, and (2) there is no such thing as a filter that can perfectly block porn, as that is simply not technically possible.
So Apple’s answer will, I think, be a motion to dismiss on the grounds that under existing case law, the request relief would violate the First Amendment Rights of Apple and the users of its products; that law does not grant relief for injury complained of; that the requested relief is already provided for in Apple’s products to the extent technically possible and that is consistent with applicable law.
In other news Canon & HP were also sued since their printers allows printing of pornographic material.
To quote from “Ruthless People”:
“This may be the stupidest person on the face of the Earth. Perhaps we should shoot him.”
What scares me is that now that his “harmonies” have been awakened, he may sire equally dimwitted offspring.
Ah, but he claims men were “born with their harmonies” and all I could picture in my mind was a baby coming out of the womb singing “Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you!” In a Falsetto imitation of Bernadette Peters trill from “Young Frankenstein.”
Let me see if I got this straight, and anyone correct me if I misunderstood. He typed in the wrong URL/URI. And as a result of this, he ended up in a pornography site, and got addicted to it. And because of HIS OWN mistake, he will take Apple to court and demand some porn filters be added.
Did I get that right? I have doubts because I feel something isn’t making any logical sense.
… to check out the porn site apparently everyone but me has already seen.
In order to see anything more exciting than a few posed topless women – admittedly nice, but not all THAT exciting – you have to sign up for a “free” account. Well … you DO need to do that for Facebook, as well. And, right up front they told him what it was they were “selling”. He can’t really be trying to say “I didn’t KNOW”, can he?
For those who have asked … he’s suing Apple because THAT’S WHERE THE MONEY IS !
Update, the man making the complaint is apparently not practicing law because he has been placed on disability for mental illness by the Tennessee Supreme Court.
I hope when a Judge finds this out that he will dismiss this non-sense and not waste the courts time.
Wait, I have to sue my parents!
They made me with two eyes which can look at porn sites and there’s no filter to deactivate them!!!
How could they?
LoL, this one was funny and the most original in some time. We should let it proceed 🙂