“My eyes!!! It felt like someone had dragged a cheese grater across my eyeballs when I saw the iOS 7 home screen, with its horrendous icons that looked like they were designed by a committee from the National Association of Gals (NAG) or…gasp!…Lisa Frank! Yes, iOS 7 comes perilously close to looking like Lisa Frank’s ‘Stuff Girls Love’ site,” Jim Lynch blogs. “The minute that you enter the iOS 7 home screen, you realize that it has been designed for a gaggle of giggling 13 year old girls. Most of the icons are a mishmash of pastels that exude emotionally incoherent inconsistency.”
“The color scheme is almost unbearable if you’re a man that appreciates the stronger, richer and more detailed icons in iOS 6. The first time you see the iOS 7 icons, it feels like somebody kicked you in the balls with no warning and for absolutely no reason,” Lynch writes. “There’s a real gender issue with the iOS 7 icon color scheme. The iOS 7 beta icons practically ooze estrogen! The manly, solid colors and design found in iOS 6 have been chopped off as viciously as Lord Varus’ balls and cock in Game of Thrones. In short, iOS 7 is a clam-o-rama of soft pastels that overwhelm male eyeballs, while bathing men in a sea of soft, limp nothingness.”
Lynch writes, “The Game Center icon is…bubbles. Ugly, girlish pastels-from-hell-bubbles. Yuck! First of all, what do bubbles have to do with gaming? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Second, gaming is known as one of the few communities that is still mostly masculine in its perspective and sensibilities. So what was Apple thinking by slicing off Game Center’s balls like this? It seems pretty clear that Johnny Ives and his designers have ZERO knowledge about the sensibilities of gamers. I suspect that none of them is a gamer, and probably could care less about inflicting this dick-less version of Game Center on male iOS gamers.”
MacDailyNews Take: To illustrate his argument, Lynch uses the Apple screenshot example seen below on the left. An iPhone 5 running iOS 7 owned by one of our male staffers is on the right:
Jim Lynch’s canned iOS 7 example on the left vs. a MacDailyNews iPhone 5 running iOS 7 on the right.
“If this is Johnny Ives’ work then it seems pretty clear that Scott Forstall was the alpha male at Apple. Or maybe it was Steve Jobs, or Jobs and Forstall together who put a masculine stamp on iOS? Either way, it’s pretty clear that iOS has totally lost its balls in iOS 7. What exactly does Ives have against men, anyway?” Lynch asks. “Let’s not forget Tim Cook here either. There’s no doubt that Cook had to go along with feminization of iOS, he’s the CEO of Apple and has final say in any changes to iOS. It’s long been rumored that he’s gay, and that’s fine. But come on, Tim! There are all kinds of gay guys out there, some gay guys are very masculine in their sensibilities. After seeing iOS 7, I’m betting that Tim Cook isn’t one of them. Come on, Tim! Butch it up a little bit please, and fix this mess before it’s unleashed on the male public.”
“I wonder if Apple is aware of any of this? Did they give any thought at all to how iOS 7 would be perceived by men that aren’t San Francisco or New York metrosexual types? I doubt it. If they had then they might have at least offered an alternative color scheme more suitable for masculine men,” Lynch writes. “Yeah folks, iOS 7 really is that bad visually. Your mileage may vary, however. Especially if you are a thirteen year old girl, metrosexual beta male, or a member of NAG. iOS 7 screams ‘girl power!’ and I suspect it will have a lot of men running for the exits to Android or Windows Phone, if the final release looks the same as the beta.”
We haven’t seen this much misogyny since the last meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club – for which – forget Alfalfa – we hereby nominate Jim Lynch for president!
(Good Jobs, we hope Lynch’s intention was to be satirical.)
I totally agree that the iOS 7 icons stink. The fonts are also almost unreadable, especially on that ridiculous light blue background. From where I stand, it’s hard to argue with the author’s basic premise: designed for 13-year-old girls.
I watched the Keynote and the first thing I thought when I saw the demo was… gee, it looks just like my daughters bedroom (which she decorated when she was 13). It’s crisp and clean which I like but it’s, without a doubt, feminine.
I could not agree more. I think I actually started to cry when I saw the iOS 7 video. What’s next? Bringing back those black and white only monitors from the Mac II? This is an absolutely horrific UI and its totally embarrassing. How did this EVER get approved? I’m in absolute disbelief and I almost think its got to be a joke.
I am a 20 year Apple fan. Have about every product they make. But I agree with the article. The colors are definitely what my early teen daughter would have picked. There is something gay or metrosexual going on here. I do not see the appearance as having been improved. And all the mocking of the leather and skeumorphic stuff, they are now setting themselves up to be mocked for looking like a Toys R Us girls game. This is clearly designed for a feminine audience.
Here’s a simple solution.
If you hate it – don’t upgrade in the fall – or get a different phone.
If you love it – upgrade in the fall
Endlessly debating your like or dislike for a TELEPHONE is a clear indicator of a bigger problem in your lives.
For all of you criticizing iOS 7. You won’t get far here. This is fanboy central. Most people here are delusional and incredulous. They will not believe anything negative about Apple.
Here’s the thing fanboys. If this iOS 7 really is, in fact, too feminine for the average male, Apple may lose sales/marketshare in aggregate. We’ll have to see.
I’ve been using iOS 7 for the past few days constantly, and I like a lot about it but there’s also lots of things I just hate. The colors for one thing aren’t working for me either.
And Helvetica Neue font for system fonts? Are you fucking kidding me Apple? You realize this is a tiny screen that has zillions of different backgrounds as I move through the world? Everything in iOS is literally impossible to read. And when the sun is shining against the screen? Ha! Good luck.
This is especially so for contacts. My god that font is thin and it looks like a mess of illegible text in lists and for instance looking at someone’s contact card. This is terrible.
I also hate the new Safari. It’s fucking brutal. The URL bar at the top as a hit area is just too thin and the shuffling of the webpages like a rolodex is stupid. If they moved away from skeumorphism, they should have done something more clean and simple here.
Design by committee folks, it’s all over iOS and it feels just weird and kinda wrong.
I feel like they took a step forward, and then two steps back.
Lynch is far out on his own personal journey of insecurity and gender issues. Lynch, don’t blame it on Apple, because that is called mirroring your own inner problems
Lynch knows it’s a beta, and if not too stupid, he should know it’s most likely not going to be the final version or probably not even the only theme available in the final version.
Look, this theme presented suits the white version of the iPhone. Actually I didn’t see this beta version presented on a black iPhone?! Did you? Will we see a “masculine” version for those insecure ones? Of course, we would not want to see Lynch and his likes going over to the candy colored Android or Windows phone, would we?
Lynch is just hit whoring, and seems to be surprised by how much estrogen he experiences within.
I think this where Tim Cook sinks or swims. If he listens to the wails of “too feminine” and changes iOS7’s look, he doesn’t deserve to be Apple’s CEO. If he sits back, laughs at the ridiculous panic, and releases iOS 7 as-is then he’s absolutely the right man to fill Steve Jobs’ shoes.
Lynch hits the nail on the head, especially with his comment that iOS7 “[bathes] men in a sea of soft, limp nothingness.” As a gay man, that’s exactly how I view female sexuality (i.e., there’s nothing down there). But for straight men, isn’t that exactly what they seek from women? They should be flocking to iOS7, with all its femininity.
He is right. It’s dreadful.
I totally agree that the iOS 7 icons stink. The fonts are also almost unreadable, especially on that ridiculous light blue background. From where I stand, it’s hard to argue with the author’s basic premise: designed for 13-year-old girls.
I watched the Keynote and the first thing I thought when I saw the demo was… gee, it looks just like my daughters bedroom (which she decorated when she was 13). It’s crisp and clean which I like but it’s, without a doubt, feminine.
I could not agree more. I think I actually started to cry when I saw the iOS 7 video. What’s next? Bringing back those black and white only monitors from the Mac II? This is an absolutely horrific UI and its totally embarrassing. How did this EVER get approved? I’m in absolute disbelief and I almost think its got to be a joke.
I am a 20 year Apple fan. Have about every product they make. But I agree with the article. The colors are definitely what my early teen daughter would have picked. There is something gay or metrosexual going on here. I do not see the appearance as having been improved. And all the mocking of the leather and skeumorphic stuff, they are now setting themselves up to be mocked for looking like a Toys R Us girls game. This is clearly designed for a feminine audience.
Here’s a simple solution.
If you hate it – don’t upgrade in the fall – or get a different phone.
If you love it – upgrade in the fall
Endlessly debating your like or dislike for a TELEPHONE is a clear indicator of a bigger problem in your lives.
…and you criticizing those who express their opinion is a clear indicator of what particular problem in your own life?
#firstworldproblem
Well, if he ever comes close to females of any age, which is unlikely, he will be Jim Lynched.
He really sounds like a pedophile to me. Such blatant penis-waving is usually covering up for some deep, dark perversions.
You know when a pundit has to resort to sophomoric “girl!!!” Invectives that they have no actual argument.
I like iOS7, but am not going to make a 1950s aspersion against someone that does not.
That said, this fucker is an assclown.
Lynch is right… The IOS7 is AWFUL!!!
I showed the guys in the workshop, all of whom carry iPhones, iOS7 and their first reaction was “girl phone”.
For all of you criticizing iOS 7. You won’t get far here. This is fanboy central. Most people here are delusional and incredulous. They will not believe anything negative about Apple.
Here’s the thing fanboys. If this iOS 7 really is, in fact, too feminine for the average male, Apple may lose sales/marketshare in aggregate. We’ll have to see.
I’ve been using iOS 7 for the past few days constantly, and I like a lot about it but there’s also lots of things I just hate. The colors for one thing aren’t working for me either.
And Helvetica Neue font for system fonts? Are you fucking kidding me Apple? You realize this is a tiny screen that has zillions of different backgrounds as I move through the world? Everything in iOS is literally impossible to read. And when the sun is shining against the screen? Ha! Good luck.
This is especially so for contacts. My god that font is thin and it looks like a mess of illegible text in lists and for instance looking at someone’s contact card. This is terrible.
I also hate the new Safari. It’s fucking brutal. The URL bar at the top as a hit area is just too thin and the shuffling of the webpages like a rolodex is stupid. If they moved away from skeumorphism, they should have done something more clean and simple here.
Design by committee folks, it’s all over iOS and it feels just weird and kinda wrong.
I feel like they took a step forward, and then two steps back.
I think that we are going to have serious problems using this ugly theme in bright sunlight, especially having white text on a pale blue background.
Lynch is far out on his own personal journey of insecurity and gender issues. Lynch, don’t blame it on Apple, because that is called mirroring your own inner problems
Lynch knows it’s a beta, and if not too stupid, he should know it’s most likely not going to be the final version or probably not even the only theme available in the final version.
Look, this theme presented suits the white version of the iPhone. Actually I didn’t see this beta version presented on a black iPhone?! Did you? Will we see a “masculine” version for those insecure ones? Of course, we would not want to see Lynch and his likes going over to the candy colored Android or Windows phone, would we?
Lynch is just hit whoring, and seems to be surprised by how much estrogen he experiences within.
Themes and choice of icons ?
Did anyone get the word iOS7 Beta. Beta means “in progress – not finalized”. I am sure iOS7 will change a lot on its way to a final release.
Oh lord, it’s antenna-gate all over again.
I think this where Tim Cook sinks or swims. If he listens to the wails of “too feminine” and changes iOS7’s look, he doesn’t deserve to be Apple’s CEO. If he sits back, laughs at the ridiculous panic, and releases iOS 7 as-is then he’s absolutely the right man to fill Steve Jobs’ shoes.
Tim can douse the firestorm and please everyone with one simple button.
Classic or modern look upgrade option. CHOICE!
Think different, Apple.
Steve’s artistic vision lives on …
iOS 7 is for 7 year old girls.
It looks like Android puked at Disneyworld after having too much rainbow sherbet.
I think iOS7 will look great… in an Easter basket.
Though I do like the new features, iOS 7 does look pretty gay.
Hope there is a way to make it look more manly.
I’m not sure I agree with his opinion but I found the article hilarious all the same.
” it feels like somebody kicked you in the balls with no warning and for absolutely no reason”
haha
Lynch hits the nail on the head, especially with his comment that iOS7 “[bathes] men in a sea of soft, limp nothingness.” As a gay man, that’s exactly how I view female sexuality (i.e., there’s nothing down there). But for straight men, isn’t that exactly what they seek from women? They should be flocking to iOS7, with all its femininity.
This guy is obviously a serious a-hole. I’m offended for women, 13-year old girls, gay men and Ive.
People who make comments like this are just trying to provoke a response, don’t feed the trolls. lol