Jim Lynch: Apple’s iOS 7 is an ‘estrogen-addled mess designed for 13 year old girls’

“My eyes!!! It felt like someone had dragged a cheese grater across my eyeballs when I saw the iOS 7 home screen, with its horrendous icons that looked like they were designed by a committee from the National Association of Gals (NAG) or…gasp!…Lisa Frank! Yes, iOS 7 comes perilously close to looking like Lisa Frank’s ‘Stuff Girls Love’ site,” Jim Lynch blogs. “The minute that you enter the iOS 7 home screen, you realize that it has been designed for a gaggle of giggling 13 year old girls. Most of the icons are a mishmash of pastels that exude emotionally incoherent inconsistency.”

“The color scheme is almost unbearable if you’re a man that appreciates the stronger, richer and more detailed icons in iOS 6. The first time you see the iOS 7 icons, it feels like somebody kicked you in the balls with no warning and for absolutely no reason,” Lynch writes. “There’s a real gender issue with the iOS 7 icon color scheme. The iOS 7 beta icons practically ooze estrogen! The manly, solid colors and design found in iOS 6 have been chopped off as viciously as Lord Varus’ balls and cock in Game of Thrones. In short, iOS 7 is a clam-o-rama of soft pastels that overwhelm male eyeballs, while bathing men in a sea of soft, limp nothingness.”

Lynch writes, “The Game Center icon is…bubbles. Ugly, girlish pastels-from-hell-bubbles. Yuck! First of all, what do bubbles have to do with gaming? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Second, gaming is known as one of the few communities that is still mostly masculine in its perspective and sensibilities. So what was Apple thinking by slicing off Game Center’s balls like this? It seems pretty clear that Johnny Ives and his designers have ZERO knowledge about the sensibilities of gamers. I suspect that none of them is a gamer, and probably could care less about inflicting this dick-less version of Game Center on male iOS gamers.”

MacDailyNews Take: To illustrate his argument, Lynch uses the Apple screenshot example seen below on the left. An iPhone 5 running iOS 7 owned by one of our male staffers is on the right:

Jim Lynch's canned iOS 7 example on the left vs. a MacDailyNews iPhone 5 running iOS 7 on the right.
Jim Lynch’s canned iOS 7 example on the left vs. a MacDailyNews iPhone 5 running iOS 7 on the right.

 
“If this is Johnny Ives’ work then it seems pretty clear that Scott Forstall was the alpha male at Apple. Or maybe it was Steve Jobs, or Jobs and Forstall together who put a masculine stamp on iOS? Either way, it’s pretty clear that iOS has totally lost its balls in iOS 7. What exactly does Ives have against men, anyway?” Lynch asks. “Let’s not forget Tim Cook here either. There’s no doubt that Cook had to go along with feminization of iOS, he’s the CEO of Apple and has final say in any changes to iOS. It’s long been rumored that he’s gay, and that’s fine. But come on, Tim! There are all kinds of gay guys out there, some gay guys are very masculine in their sensibilities. After seeing iOS 7, I’m betting that Tim Cook isn’t one of them. Come on, Tim! Butch it up a little bit please, and fix this mess before it’s unleashed on the male public.”

“I wonder if Apple is aware of any of this? Did they give any thought at all to how iOS 7 would be perceived by men that aren’t San Francisco or New York metrosexual types? I doubt it. If they had then they might have at least offered an alternative color scheme more suitable for masculine men,” Lynch writes. “Yeah folks, iOS 7 really is that bad visually. Your mileage may vary, however. Especially if you are a thirteen year old girl, metrosexual beta male, or a member of NAG. iOS 7 screams ‘girl power!’ and I suspect it will have a lot of men running for the exits to Android or Windows Phone, if the final release looks the same as the beta.”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Hoo, boy… or girl… or… sheesh!

We haven’t seen this much misogyny since the last meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club – for which – forget Alfalfa – we hereby nominate Jim Lynch for president!

(Good Jobs, we hope Lynch’s intention was to be satirical.)

206 Comments

      1. Lynch is so right in his opinion.

        For those here, to defend Jony Ives lousy effort proves most fans are stupid lemmings. The new look is unappealing. New for the sake of new is so wrong. As a Apple Fan I am extremely embarrassed to use this on my iPhone 5. It just doesn’t fit.

            1. “Generally a good direction–am a fan of simple, meaningful symbols that fill a space, such as Music and Weather. It’s better — more iconic, less illustrative.” – Susan Kare

              Suggests in need of improvements but on the right track.

              Apple WANTS us to FEEL photo, to FEEL camera, to FEEL what safari is not RECOGNIZE the app by its visual communication but to FEEL what the app does.

              I am not sure the screen shot you share at cult of mac is got much FEELING and at the same time I am not buying the Touchy & Feel-ly of flattened graphics either. Still the system alone has amazing new features.

          1. Best thing yet. Who knew so many males were so deeply invested in colour palettes? Resistant to change? Defensive of their masculinity, even? I must visit a local pub or two and eavesdrop to try to learn more about this puzzling resentment and sudden burgeoning of design expertise, twisted somehow into a new swagger.

          2. As a graphic designer you know criticism is a common source of feedback. It’s the process. Simplicity in graphic design is good communication so long as it is done well.

            Just re-watch WWDC 2013 Apple intro again.

            Focus/Thousands of No’s/Every Yes is simplified/We start over/And not until everything we touch/Enhances each Life it touches/Do we then sign it; Designed by Apple.

            Its a very powerful statement of process that Apple claims to see themselves.

            NOW compare Ives section on iOS7

            At the end Ives admits, it marks a beginning. Well beginnings are not solutions or refinements so focussed so precisely simplified and complete. Beginnings are roughs, fresh starts, unexplored territory. Review Ives “flowery presentation” specifically on refining and designing with a grid and text. Then listen to the end statement.

            Fruity-tooty lift your leg and do a beauty?
            iOS7 looks shit. Such an elegant device running on cheap perfume. Its an embarrassment yet you lemmings will eat whatever is branded Apple.

            A structure that is coherent and applied through out?
            Refining the typography – its much larger. Okay. But thinner text on washed out backgrounds conflicts with readability.
            Redesigning all the icons. Please. A grid system helps but not for the designs within that space nor the colours used. Flat / Comical / Amateurish. Very poor design that communicates worse then before. The WWDC 2013 logo was far more exciting and powerful with fruity-tooty colours, neither masculine nor feminine – just fresh. Look how the airplane wing touches the baby blue edge in Passport. Irritating. Its not good work – graphically.

            This UI interface of icons is not consistent or coherent. We got pastel colours that are translucent on some buttons and solids on others. We got Gradated button backgrounds, solid ones and heavily detailed filling the button where others are so cluttered and extremely unrefined. Look at Newsstand. Amateur. Ugh. No iOS7 is not good work on the surface. Its a work in progress. Its a mess as Jim Lynch says. Ives talks the talk… but has not provided the walk.

            Ives is a wonderful and articulated in his presentation but his team does not follow the belief expressed by the new definition of Apple… Mathere. That Focus and speaker, like a teacher

            The official commercial…

          3. Lynch uses the “balls sliced off” ref over and over, drags out his anti-feminist agenda (“NAG” for “NOW” is a right-wing talk show meme) into the middle of a tech debate, so he’s a biased idiot.

            However, I really don’t care much for much the new i0S “design language” myself. Just trying to read the time (and much else) in that trendy skinny font when you’re out in the sun, for example, is going to be a real challenge.

            And IMO the screens, icons and chat bubbles, e.g., look generally washed out and drab for no particular -or at least no particularly good reason I can discern. Though I’m hoping some of the inconsistencies and dullness get tweaked before the final release.

            OS X Mavericks, OTOH, except for the obscure place name, seems quite nice looking, polished, well-designed and well, OS X-like.

            So it can’t all be Ives, though his design aesthetic and personal “preciousness” about not only “form is function” (a notion which led to all the ugly Bauhaus socialist-informed (people’s housing) architecture still dotting Europe and some American cities – NYC’s notorious “projects” e.g.) has helped bring us devices where minimalism and design dictum (or “dicta” actually) overrule both form and function.

            And personally I type two-handed, NTM I watch media “no-handed” once they’re started.

        1. Yes, Lynch is right.

          The new look is a step back, uninspiring and flat as a highway frog.

          Ive abandoned Steve’s rich representational vision and brought us to a flat, linear, uninspiring iOS7.

          How about a “classic” option at upgrade time?

          1. I truly am an Apple Fan but not a foolish lemming. The feature set in iOS7 has got some real wonderful things. That I do like. However, I don’t like the look or feel Jony Ives has done. The elegance of the Hardware does not match the Software. Honestly, I can not believe iOS7 is real. This has to be a joke; right?

            Here’s a taste of reality, all my employees will switch over to Ubuntu, it looks and feels more unified and the security is better then Apple.

            http://www.ubuntu.com/phone

            1. Show me a Ubuntu phone in the wild, they’re as rare as an iPhone 5S.

              The only connection with masculinity for Skueomorphism is that it’s PANTS.

              I want clear, clean symbology – like the current Airport utility. It can be colorful, shaded etc. just not made to look like wood, felt, denim and other textures that add nothing.
              PS. The ‘linen’ look – is perhaps the one exception I find appealing as a background.

            2. It does not matter if Ubuntu is available yet.

              Ubuntu has great development and design – its well established iconology is consistent and in no way is it representing a masculine gender nor does it fail to clutter or over dressing with skuemorphism.

              The principles of design that Apple is marketing itself “Designed by Apple in California” perfection though focus, simplicity through refinement, everything we touch needs to touch your life… what message there is being expressed does not match what state the UI is in. Its work in progress. Its looking unrefined, it looks amateurish. Its a beginning.

              This is not Apples’ best work, however the system under the hood and the philosophy is grand. Yes, I like that portion a lot. Yet the visual part of app icons is very poor. The work is not good. Control Center, inspired by Android – those icons and functionality are far better then the graphics of the base apps. Control Center is coherent and consistent.

              The Calculator app does not use the new system font.
              Game Center bubbles is truly lame.

              All of you know Lynch is right… you just can’t accept it.
              You drank Ives Kool-aid. Fruity-tooty inconsistent new beginning.

              Lets hope over time things will improve again.

          2. Okay I would be happy with that option.
            A choice on graphics “classic or modern” at the upgrade time… still obtaining all the new features in iOS7 but with the old graphics…. that can’t be too hard to do – its not much to ask for.

            Good idea.

            1. “These are the same people who have been complaining ios was outdated and needs an overhaul.”

              No complaint with Steve’s rich and illustrative design.

              The look of iOS 7. Now we’re talking.

          3. Yeah I think Apple is going to be forced to back peddle on iOS 7 in time and do a Classic Coke impersonation. If they’d have given people a choice, that’d be one thing or not locked them out of downgrading for fear there would be a mass exodus.

            BTW… Apple’s biggest mistake was in firing Scott Forstall. Why? Because he was already making moves in changing the UI and keeping it clean and uncluttered looking. The Skeuomorphics wasn’t even his choice as much as what Steve Jobs wanted. Just like Tim Cook and Joni Ive ‘Invented Everything (and Steve and Scott just stole the credit)’ wanted Scott to take the fall for!!!

        2. This took 6 months for Ives. Is he a useless UI designer?
          The truth seems Ives let the Marketing staff begin the creative process. And his team will iron this crap out later as it is preliminary work. He better, his peers back in England have something really well evolving. Ubuntu.

          Just look how an Icon that is intended to be a button fills the space. It is not overly decorative. They are beautiful sophisticated and better do not play to any one culture or gender. These icons communicate well. And simplicity is not see as primary colours and childish shapes. iOS7 is looking beautiful under the hood but the dressing is totally embarrassing.

          However, the defence here obviously expresses Mac Fanatics will accept shit work on the merits of Apple. Lemmings in deed. Fools. Stupidity. Control Centre is great, but it really is influenced by Android. Apple no longer is in the lead.

          The plan to meld OSX and iOS into a more seamless experience is lagging in OSX Maverick and I believe that is a wise thing looking at the appearance alone with iOS7.

          1. “And simplicity is not see as primary colours and childish shapes. iOS7 is looking beautiful under the hood but the dressing is totally embarrassing.”

            Could not agree more. The look is girly thin pastels and outline graphics from a hundred years ago.

            I’m a huge Apple supporter, but they lost their minds on the new look.

            Jony, get to work on improving battery life in my iPhone and leave design to Steve’s legacy vision.

            Think different, Apple. Classic or modern look upgrade option button. CHOICE!

        3. DT-

          Coming from another Apple fanboy I appreciate your honesty and agree too many lemmings here are blinded by Apple devotion.

          The new look is a step back to last century. Thin, girly, pastel — Helvetica Neue?

          Classic option button, Apple.

    1. He sounds like an idiot. Sorry just no other way to say it. A homophobic idiot with no sense of aesthetics. Maybe he’s in the closet himself. Hopefully he can come out and be happy someday.

    2. Actually, I have changed my mind from my previously stated desire to have new and fresh. Now I agree very much with Jim Lynch. I was looking for ward to new and improved, but I downloaded one of the screen picts to my iPhones photos, looked at it full screen and immediately cringed! Ack! It is very candy like, very cartoon like, and very feminine. Try it on your own phone. I guess on the bright side iOS 7 will secure the feminine, the youngsters, and the non-techie. Thereby keeping the iPhone relevant to the majority of potential users, but UGH the sacrifice!

      1. It’s crap. The icons are bland boring and flat. I want my old UI back. Of course I jailbreak and have even cooler icons. I like the 3d aspect but the rest is crap.

        Why did this get approved? It looks like windows had a baby with android

    3. He is right. It is very puny and frankly ugly, in a lot of people’s opinions.

      During the WWDC presentation, did you notice there was no cheering and not one person applauding when they first showed the new iOS 7 screenshot? In fact, the audience was dead silent…did you notice? I think they were all waiting for the punch line that never came… I know I was.

      1. You mean “Lisa Frank”… ly Ugly? Yeah…. anyone that sees Lisa Frank Designs for kids knows where Joni Ive ‘Invented Everything’ got the design cues from. But hey….. Microsoft and Nokia already had taken design cues from late 90’s iMac’s, so he had no choice but to copy Lisa Frank’s designs! O_o

    4. Seriously though the color palette is so bad with IOS 7 that I am forced to get reader glasses to see the white text on bright green. The color palette choices are horrible example clarity. And now for the biggest screw-up of all: the brightness must be turned up to 100% in order to see details. So much for a getting any value out of a retina display.My favorite apps are soon to be available on Windows Phone. I am going to be forced to switch to Windows Phone because I just can’t read white text on the notification bar.

      APPLE: Please save us from your bright light palettes. Give us black dark backgrounds. They are easier to read and don’t blind us at night.

    1. Not necessary “chick’s”. Verge’s chief editor Joshua Topolsky called design “childish”. Overblown, variegated icons. Not everyone will like this style, that is for sure.

      However, this is not the end of the world, Apple will survive. 🙂

      And, maybe next year, iOS 8 will have more mature design style. Or maybe something will be adjusted in the following three months before supposed release of iPhone 5S in September.

      1. Why is that? So if i get in an accident i can just pick up my car and put it my brifecase? Because thats all that is left of those tiny things if they get in a wreck.

  1. I agree with the bright colors and bubbles. What they should do is make a dark and a light theme. Cause there is just way too much white in ios 7. I do like the transparent layers but come on apple its 2013 already and we still can’t at least pick themes?!?!

    1. I agree 100% That is my 2nd reason for Jailbreaking. First is tethering without paying my carrier a bunch of extra money just because i want to use my phone as a hot spot.
      I do not understand why we cant have themes we can choose to make the phone our own. Not everyone wants the same colors and icons. I even change my themes every so often when i get tired of looking at that theme.

      APPLE ITS 2013 and we cant change the way our phone looks? Give me a break. That is stupid.

      1. Apple does not want to allow this so their phones would not look like a mess when every Joe Schmoe will abuse theme settings. As Jobs has put it, customers pay Apple to make choices for them.

        The problem emerges if the choices that Apple make are not the best any more. UI issue is not that serious, so Apple will be fine anyway, but if tastes issue will diverge even worse than this time, then Apple will have to allow themes as they will admit that they can not do universal choices for everyone in this field.

        1. either way,

          if Apple offers later an apology in an app to customize
          then Apple admits to failure

          if Apple does nothing and stands behind this design they only embarrass themselves

            1. whats the solution?

              either offer customization OR tell the world we did our best

              what changes can be made to avoid these options?

              ahhhh yes, revert to classic

        2. IM sorry but you can do themes without messing up things. Its a simple tap to go back to stock look if need be. All the theme does is allow me to have better background and MUCH BETTER ICONS. What in the world was someone thinking here? I mean YUCK the icons went from very stand out to android look. I heard for years now how everyone hates the gody look of windows 7 phones and the look of the samsung androids. Now apple has copied them.

          HOnestly
          Semi-live Wallpapers: It’s almost like live wallpaper on Android, but even more so like 3D Image Live Wallpaper that has been on Google Play for a while. Yes, you can get down with Apple’s fancy new wallpaper feature today, on Android.

          I think iOS 7 looks like a balance between webOS and Microsoft’s design language (which I’ll call Metro, like everyone else outside of Microsoft). It is not completely flat and squared off like Metro, the UI is not multitasking-based like webOS, and it doesn’t fit content into cards like Google Now (and Google+, the Play Store, Google Play Music, etc.). While Android fans have often complained about Apple stealing ideas from Android, this version of iOS seems to be devoid of influence from Google in terms of design.

          iOS 7 isn’t just influenced by webOS and Windows Phone, though; Android’s donations are clear in a number of areas. Notification Center is still, for all intents and purposes, a crummy version of the Notification Drawer in Android with a few cues from the Me tile in Windows Phone. AirDrop is essentially the same thing as Wifi Direct, DLNA or NFC sharing (sans the bumping). Quick Controls is similar to Quick Settings except it has a heavier emphasis on media and looks more like a messy jailbreak tweak that Ive’s team mocked up in Photoshop for 10 minutes and then coded the night before WWDC. Tabs in Safari is a complete rip off of tabs in Chrome (although I will say that Apple’s version of it makes differentiating between tabs much, much cleaner).

    2. Apple’s insistence that only one color scheme for icons is ridiculous. I can only hope that Apple realizes that allowing customers to customize their iOS devices is a very good thing. Permitting customers to change the colors and designs of their icons and wallpapers is the ideal and does not alter the underlying functionality of the device.

        1. Apple’s orginal motto was to “Think Different”. Fanbois need only think alike. The monotonous consistency of fanboi atitude is evidence of their inability to develop an independent thought or conjure the slightest spark of imagination. Too bad Apple seems to want to encourage this vapid existence of homogeniety. You, however, will fit in quite well.

    3. That’s a great idea. I actually think the current theme is totally cool, and no longer looks like last decade… but it looks great only on a white iPhone. I have the black one, and it’d be nice to have a dark theme.

    4. Right on Craig. It has nothing to do with estrogen but everything to do with choice. I can’t wait until all the new palette supporters start complaining about eye strain, the giant light in their bedroom at night coming from iOS7, and the battery draining max backlight needed to see detailed white text against a bright green status bar.

      The PALETTE REVOLUTION is on!

    1. The dumb thing is he’s just comparing it to the stock icons shown in Apple’s screenshots. Once you configure your phone with your own apps and backgrounds, it can look as “masculine” as you’d like.

          1. Brain-dead, insulting responses are so typical of some Apple fanbois. “silverhawk1” disagrees with an article critical of Apple, so proceeds to grievously insult the author using pathetic and aggressive sexual language.

      1. retarded false response,

        those are the pre-installed base apps – one can stuff these shitty designed icons in a folder though

        Jonny Ives should be forced to sign
        an apology letter or be fired.
        Wait a minute, no, I take that back, fire Cook.

    2. No, that “honour” goes to the juvenile flamebaiters and trolls on Facebook and the like.

      This is a close second, because although it doesn’t use b****, c***, etc, it makes up for it in length (ooh, another slam–he writes long rants to compensate for something… 😀 )

          1. There is only one American thing that I have a problem with and it is even questionable that it is truly American: the GM who writes such tripe on this forum.

            Did you know that Canada is in North America? So is Mexico and Central America and South America are also ‘American’. Don’t use the term ‘American’ so loosely. The USA is not the only part of the Americas.

  2. Eh, I agree, the color scheme is horrid and makes it difficult to look at. Looks like my dog threw up a pile of neon markers.

    Stupid. All that innovation and they screw it with this horrid color palette.

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