Leaks point to new mystery Macs covered ‘with Jony Ive’s fingerprints’

“It looks like Apple is about to release a new range of souped-up Macbook laptops into the wild,” Jasper Hamill reports for The Register.

“A series of part codes leaked out of Cupertino by a Mac mole appear to indicate that the fruity firm will use next week’s WWDC, an annual fanboi love-in, to unleash a new range of refreshed laptops,” Hamill reports. “Stock of Macbook Airs has also dwindled in the past few weeks, which is a surefire indication that Apple is bracing for the launch of new products.”

Hamill reports, “Analysts have also suggested that any refreshed Macbooks would include a high-definition camera to allow super clear sexting, Facetime chatting etc, as well as better quality microphones so your chat friend can hear every squeak and grunt. Other analysts expect a new version of iOS, which does away with the skeumorphic design in favour of a ‘flat’ aesthetic.”

Read more in the full article here.

29 Comments

    1. Brought to you by the Register, a British version of… well,,, just people bitching about everything.. At least from what articles I have read from there.

  1. Jony loves soldered non-replaceable, non-upgradeable RAM, and glued-in batteries that you cannot replace yourself. Jony loves soldered RAM because if the RAM gets corrupted, then you have to replace the entire motherboard. More money for Apple. So I’m glad I got a new MacBook Pro recently. Might be the last of the upgradeable Macs.

    1. Jony has had nothing to do with internals of the hardware. And I can tell you from first hand job experience Apple doesn’t design things so that they make money off repairs.

        1. See! Punctuation can help. 🙂

          from first hand-job experience, Apple doesn’t design things…
          or
          from first-hand, job experience, Apple doesn’t design things…

          1. Punctuation matters
            An English Professor wrote the following words on the chalkboard and
            asked his students to punctuate it correctly:
            “A woman without her man is nothing”

            All the males in the class wrote, “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

            All the females in the class wrote, “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

      1. @Peter
        Thanks SO much for your insightful contribution. Your thinking is like a laser, cutting to the heart of the matter, illuminating the issues like a veritable ray of wisdom and enriching our day. I’m sure everyone has been persuaded by the devastating logic.

    2. Hate non-upgradable too… But Apple will replace/fix for free the first year without needing AppleCare… And then there’s AppleCare, which you can get at any time..and relatively inexpensive.

  2. “…WWDC, an annual fanboi love-in…”

    Good flipp’n grief.

    It’s a developer’s conference. If they aren’t making money off the platform they aren’t there. The reason they’re there is to make more money. It ain’t no fanboi love-in.

    1. The Register always gets the word fanboi into its Apple related articles, because they know it winds up the…erm….fanbois. They’re quite aware what WWDC is.

      However, I work around the corner from them if you want me to go kick them up the arse for you 🙂

  3. The Register. The premier ass wipe rag if they publish in paper.
    Anyway, delivery companies are gearing up to deliver “new product” to Apple and other stores on June 10. Bank.

  4. Take anything written in The Register with regard to Apple with a truckload (or 10) of salt.

    The Register has been one of the “news” (and I use that term *extremely* loosely here) organizations that has been officially UN-invited to Apple press events and announcements. For a long time they had Orlowski writing for them and he would just make stuff up and publish it as if it were fact based upon rumors or just random thoughts running out of his head … and The Register would still publish that crap on their website.

    A couple times over the years I got so incensed over the outright lies they were spewing that I contacted everyone up through the top of their food chain and explicitly pointed out their errors. Did they change anything or publish a retraction? No. Since that time, I don’t even read anything from them that regards Apple if I can help it.

    1. E.g. one of their current five “Top Stories” — the inaccurate
      “iPHONES and ‘Pads BANNED in US for violating Samsung patent”

      I think they are more in love with their idea of, “Oh, look at us; we’re so blazingly cutting edge” than the idea of presenting accurate news information.

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