Dan Lyons trolls: I can hear Steve Jobs screaming; Apple’s iPhone launches no longer excite

“Somewhere up there, I can hear Steve screaming,” Dan Lyons claims via BBC News. “Everyone pretty much accepts that Apple will introduce [the iPhone 5], and there have been so many leaks that everybody pretty much seems to know what it’s going to be. Word is it will look a lot like the last two versions of the iPhone, except a bit thinner and a bit taller, with upgraded guts and a refreshed operating system.”

“If that’s correct, I imagine Steve is not happy. First of all, he’d be furious about the leaks. Steve liked surprising people,” Lyons writes. “More important, is this really the best we can expect from an outfit that claims to be the most innovative company in the world?”

Lyons claims, “The hardware on the iPhone has been the same for two years, since the iPhone 4 and 4S were virtually identical.”

MacDailyNews Note: Incorrect. The iPhone 4S hardware is a considerable advance over the iPhone 4:

iPhone 4S hardware improvements vs. iPhone 4:
• Dual-core Apple A5 processor vs. single core Apple A4
• PowerVR SGX543MP2 GPU vs. PowerVR SGX535
• 8-megapixel iSight camera vs. 5-megapixel iSight camera
• 1080p 30 fps vs. 720p 30 fps video camera
• UMTS/HSDPA (14.4 Mbps) vs. UMTS/HSDPA (7.2 Mbps)
• Bluetooth 4.0 vs. Bluetooth 2.1 + EDR
• Battery life: Up to 8 hours on 3G vs. Up to 7 hours on 3G

Lyons continues, “Now, having had two years to plot and scheme, Apple’s renowned designer Jonathan Ive has replaced the tiny 3.5in (8.9cm) screen with a slightly-less-tiny 4in (10.2cm) screen? Wow. Knock me over with a feather. What do you do with the rest of your time, Jony? This is what happens when a company is too cheap to invest in research and development… Android’s market share is now four times that of Apple. Four times! Worse, despite all its bluster about innovation, Apple has become a copycat, and not even a good one. Why is Apple making the iPhone bigger? To keep up with the top Android phones.”

“Apple also has become a copycat in tablets. Jobs once said the iPad’s 9.7in screen was the perfect size, and smaller tablets made no sense,” Lyons writes. “Then the Android camp had success with 7in tablets like Amazon’s Kindle Fire and Google’s Nexus 7, and now Apple supposedly will announce its own smaller iPad in October. Talk about thinking different!”

“Apple got where it was by taking bold risks. Now it has become a company that copies others and plays it safe,” Lyons writes. “A company that once was run by a product visionary now is run by a number-cruncher – chief executive Tim Cook, whose claim to fame involves running an efficient supply chain and beating ever lower prices out of Asian subcontractors and component suppliers… Apple has become the one thing it should never be. Apple has become boring. Somewhere up there, I can hear Steve screaming.”

Full article – Think Before You Click™here.

MacDailyNews Take: Talk about boring copying. Trot in a few more fallacies, exaggerations, and unproven accusations, Lyons, you hit-whore by rote.

Of course, Apple isn’t a copycat. Everybody’s copying Apple, just look at phones before iPhone and at phones today. And, as for a rumored 7.85-inch iPad mini, Jobs often talked down certain tech while Apple was working on it (see: iPods that play video and iPads that deliver e-books, for just two examples). Plus, the screen area of a 7-inch in 16:9 tablet would be dwarfed by a 7.85-inch 3:4 iPad mini. And, can we give the already tired “Tim Cook is just a number cruncher” meme a rest?

Everybody wants to be the next John Dvorak, even while the bloated Hawaiian-shirted gasbag still floats over the earth.

One more thing: We have a hunch that Steve Jobs wouldn’t allow the John Dvorak wannabe Dan Lyons to hear him make a peep from up there.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Gaz” for the heads up.]

Related article:
Apple rakes in 71% of the world’s smartphone profits – September 8, 2012


      1. Yes, ’cause we all know that squeaking plastic-fantasic droids with huge margins and slits for no reason in odd colours (brown like shit S3, anyone?) and asymmetric holes and buttons are sooooooooo exciting, right?


      2. No taste, no sense, no style. Nothing. Just a big fat ugly fuckwit Android copy phone with a giant doesnt fit in your hand pixelated screen.

        NO thanks. I will stick to my beautiful iPhone.

    1. They tell you to think want they want you to think, not what really is.

      For example, that’s why in the U.S. currently, most media polls employ Democrat-leaning samples that will never match actual 2012 turnout ratios. The media, which sells ad time, needs to make the election close in order to reap the maximum political ad money possible. Just before the election, they’ll give you the real numbers to which I am already privy.

      President Romney and Vice President Ryan. Get used to it.

      1. I have no idea who will win the 2012 presidential election. Since most polls don’t capture likelihood to actually cast ballots, I’m with you on this much: Romney is probably slightly ahead and the polls don’t show it. I disagree that it’s about political bias (if it is, then surely the same can be said and more so for your numbers, which are coming from Republican polling).

        But I’m really curous to know this: If Obama winds up winning, who are you going to blame?

    2. My iPhone 4S does what it is supposed to do superbly
      and every time. No conflict, no bitching, no challenges.
      Lord, I am so bored. I want excitement in my life. Does
      anyone have a Zune for sale?

      1. No, he sounds like a desperate stupid fandroid.

        What is it about people like him that supports thieving outfits like SamDung. They make themselves complicit in the theft. Never could figure that one out. He remindes me of the guys that helped the Joker in Batman rob the bank. Once their job was done the Joker shot them dead. Kind of what Samsung does, once you buy their phone good luck upgrading it to a newer OS a year down the road. Yet people like Gupta suck Sammy’s cock every day. Go figure.

  1. “Somewhere up there, I can hear Steve screaming,” Dan Lyons claims via BBC News.”

    Well….. sort of.. That was Steve Jobs LHAO…. He sees Microsoft with Metro and the surface, and people like Dan Lyons trying their best to have something to write that still puts Apple down and brings Microsoft up… Micro — who?

    Sorry, Reuters had a hit piece today too. Market share…. marketshare…… market share… When anal……….yst have a slow news day… they should Apple and losing market share.

    I do find it funny that they never talk about the 70% market share the iPod STILL has, the 70% market share the iPad still has and the 70% PROFIT share the iPhone has.

    Hey, its currently a slow news wednesday. They got to write something ….. that takes no brains.

    Just a thought.

      1. quiviran,
        Thanks. Humorous. Went to Dan Lyons blog page. Most of the posters there are either shills, trolls or (and mostly) articulate writers that do not care for much of what he writes.

        How he gets paid for his efforts is beyond me.

  2. I must admit that the iPhone does reek of boredom compared to the iPod lines. Notice I said “lines”, plural? iPhone is not gaining the pizazz of the multiple styles, colors and prices that won over iPod purchasers. I think they need to think back to that pizazz and apply it to the iPhone and broaden the product line. There would be the serious business model, an XL model and some fun and funky models for those that want to be more hip. Think of the diversity of Van or DC shoes. Not predicting doom and gloom for Apple and not jumping ship, but Apple needs to go back to its more playful roots of the iPod to help wow and win over successive generations.

    1. We can buy cases in about a million different colors and designs, an option no other phone has. I happen to have about 10, which I use depending on the color or my shoes, etc. How about battery cases (dozens) and millions of other accessories. How many do other phones have?

  3. “Android’s market share is now four times that of Apple.”

    I haven’t seen any numbers that put their market share anywhere close to this. I don’t think it’s even two times.

    1. Android is an operating system. iPhone is a piece of hardware.

      The market share of either commodity cannot be equated.

      Peaches have a smaller share of the market than automobiles.

      Dan Lyons, compare iOS to Android or STFU.

  4. . “More important, is this really the best we can expect from an outfit that claims to be the most innovative company in the world?”
    OMG! Apple haven’t delivered an revolutionary, unexpected, mind blowing, game changing product for three years. The end is nigh. Apple will collapse into a singularity within the next three seconds

Reader Feedback

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.