“The iPad is for show-offs. And the iPhone 4 makes it difficult to make a simple telephone call. Apple used to be hip, stylish and ahead of the curve. Now, though, it has become totally uncool — and not just since Steve Jobs stepped down,” Hajo Schumacher writes for Spiegel Online. “The iPad has attained the social cachet once enjoyed by things like color TVs and inline skates. It’s almost like you can hear its owners shouting triumphantly: ‘I’m hip! I’m in front! And I can afford it, too!'”
“It’s the same with pulse-monitoring watches, red wine and handbags: It’s not about functions, uses or taste. No, it’s about showing off. Indeed, the iPad is the must-have, cool-kid item of the 21st century,” Schumacher writes. “The economic victory parade of the iPad and iPhone is accompanied by a dreadful emotional letdown, a bit like with the latte macchiato before it. Something that was pleasingly different, that gave its supporters a certain feeling of hipness, has been sucked dry by its sheer ubiquity. What was once cool has now become the epitome of uncool. If everybody has something, it can no longer set you apart. The most valuable company in the world produces exactly what all the other most valuable companies in the world have produced: soulless junk.”
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“Firms everywhere get sued whenever their products don’t do what they’re supposed to. Apple enjoys legions of militant fans who point out to any Apple critics that they’re just too dumb to use it right,” Schumacher writes. “Apple and its customers are today’s L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology: a community of believers completely detached from reality. The lines that used to form in front of St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome can now be found outside the Apple Store.”
Schumacher wonders, “And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”
Full article – Think Before You Click™ – here.
MacDailyNews Take: It is intensely satisfying to see that Apple’s tremendous successes have driven certain types of people absolutely batshit insane.
Anyone notice this latest tyrant of “Apple is bad.. bad I tell you” .
I have to wonder what is up here. Another round of Microsoft and Google funding the pundits,,,, or just the crazys???
en
I agree, the FUD is relentless today. I guess a week is deemed enough ” mourning ” by the lower class pundits and bought off crapwriters.
Sounds like someone is projecting. It’s not the Apple products that are soul less.
I think the anti-Apple forces are hoping Jobs’ retirement offers them an opportunity. They’ve deployed their hit whores in an all-out assault.
I think certain types of people are being driven absolutely batshit insane, as MDN put it, by the fact that Jobs stepping down as CEO hasn’t caused Apple’s share price to hit $0, people to stop buying their products, and their whole campus to be incinerated by dragons.
It’s not about opportunism or being pissed off that Apple’s been really successful lately, it’s about how Steve leaving was supposed to strike the magical deathblow and it didn’t.
So now the Cult of Apple Hate is flying into a state of incoherent desperation. I think Hajo’s head was actually exploding when he wrote:
“And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”
I mean, that’s just… It’s so… It’s so beautiful it should be framed and hung up on a wall somehere. I’d ask where he bought an iPad app on CD-ROM, but I’m pretty sure it was Crazyville.
Speaking of which, hey, Microsoft, “CEO Hajo Schumacher” has an awesome ring to it. Just putting that out there.
“Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.””
If he thinks he bought iPad apps on a CD then he must have a CD full of pirated apps meant for a jailbroken iPad. Unfortunately he and similar fools haven’t a clue how the theft system works when they search for a way to put the pirated apps into the iPad.
Take delight in telling them just put that CD into that tiny magical slot at the bottom of the iPad like everyone else.
++1
Your comment made me laugh out loud for a long time. Thank you.
Their campus wasn’t incinerated by dragons???? But Ballmer said…..
Hmmmm. A bunch of FUD and APPL drops 1.5%. Hmmmm. Not that I’m paranoid, mind you. 🙂
So that’s who Zune Tang is… Always wondered what is real name was. Sad piece of work.
No.
Zune Tang is a satirical Apple fan.
Exactly. I don’t know why people don’t get that.
Because he was never funny? Seriously, I got sick of him a few months after he arrived, and then he stuck around for years.
And he had absolutely no concept of what satire is. In order for a piece of writing to be satirical, there has to be something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just saying “I hate Apple, Microsoft rules” is not satire.
Zune Tang may have intended to be satirical, but he never came off as anything more than a troll.
——RM
LordRobin… surely you jest!! Read your own words… “something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously.”
Hello… did you ever READ Zune Tang’s comments??? For God’s sake man… he was praising things like the Zune media player and the Microsoft Kin. If that’s not enough of a clue to you that he wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, then I’ve wasted my time trying to respond to your comment.
I found him quite funny and creative.
I think this piece is satire too. No one could be this stupid.
funny…and true.
Bleh! I actually try to keep my iPad from attention when in public. I don’t want to show off, I want to get things done. What a moron. Installation CD?? Seriously?
A least he didn’t ask where he was supposed to put his floppy discs.
Why do we have to be exposed to this drivel? And what about these stupid blog posts about Steve Jobs and Apple post-Steve? Where’s the news value in any of this?
Idiocy begets insanity !!!!
Did someone run over this guy’s dog this morning. He needs to chill out a bit.
Who paid this guy to write this dribble?
What insitefull opinions, not..!!
Finally there’s useful Technolgy everyone can use. My 80 year old mom got her first computer, an iPad, and she loves it and uses it daily with no training. How is that junk??
The iPad is my mother’s (75) first computer. And my autistic brother uses it by himself to FaceTime with us
it must be nice to supposedly call yourself a writer and manifest this utter soulless drivel with a smug hypocritical self-righteousness all in the name of selling adspace…nice work hajotard. you are so cool.
Some people obviously live in a clueless Bizarro World. What other manufacturer puts as much heart & soul in their products as Apple? I use my iPad & iPhone 4 because they fills a need in a terrific way, not to impress. I could give a crap about that. The only one I want to impress is me, by Apple.
+1
We never used Apple products because they were cool, we used them because they worked and you didn’t have to spend your weekends defragging your drive and running antivirus software.
If he thinks technology is about being cool, rather than its intended purpose of making things easier, then that says all you need to know about him.
Red wine and hand bags is about showing off?? I mean really, what planet is he from?
Handbags, yes. But, red wine? Wha?
It’s funny how some people’s mind work.
Every single apple product I have brought keeps the same until a few years later that I made the upgrade.
Every single PC owner I have seen buys a PC very cheap, then he has to pay for additional software, a web cam, another video card, bluthoot, wi-fi, antivirus and so on.. one year later, they have to change it because Windows does not run on his PC any more or is very slow to run it. Who’s is the soulless junk?
If you buy an iPad just to be “cool” then you’re pretty sad. If you but na iPad becuase it’s the best tablet out there then you’re normal.
Why do you post such articles? The article is pure nonsense!
I was glad MDN posted it. I had already seen the german original of the headline, and I wanted to read it because I was wondering how this BS (and more of that recently!) ended up on an otherwise sane news site. But I did not give them a click for that, instead I could now read it on MDN.
The shock of Steve resigning has made many go chemically unbalanced by the BOATLOAD.
Justice Dept is trying to block AT&T / T-Mobile merger.
Just another story to stir up the fanboys. Works every time. Geez, don’t any of you guys have jobs?
Do you. Seems like you have more time time then most.
And what concern is it of yours anyway, just trying to fit in, or just lonely.
Nice try GM, you get the early morning Trolling award.
Ha, “GM” . . . good choice for your post-eponym! Sitting around waiting for a government bailout, are you? I believe we can all smell dirty laundry in your mother’s basement, so it’s time to get off your smelly butt and do something productive.
Don’t let the dickhead fanboys get you down. An alternate viewpoint, even if it gets them grinding their teeth down to nubs, is always welcome. Haha.
Folks, I am from Berlin and I know Hajo Schumacher in person since I met him a couple of times. Also I saw him on TV shaking his half-long hairs in his little third-class talk-show on a third-class station around midnight.
Let me say this as polite as I can: He is a complete idiot and nobody is taking him seriously. His complete approach is totally arrogant, but he does not recognize this due to his extremely lack of intelligence. He shows no respect for any person, except himself, of course.
He is a failed editor-in-chief of a failed magazine, he always opens his mouth talking complete bullshit only to talk just something, and he is nothing less than a click-whore and an importance-whore. Usally he is a complete mediocre person.
I sincerely apologize for this guy, who has no idea what he is talking about. Please note, that not everybody in Germany is like him; he is a small minority. All the others are looking forward to our very first Apple-store in Berlin to be opened this fall.
Bernd from Berlin
(Forgive all my mistakes. But I could not remain silent when I noticed this crap.)
Great post Bernd!! Thanks for the insight!
Bernd, don’t worry, I work for a German company and have had the opportunity tow work with a lot of great and smart German guys. Back to this “journalist”, there are idiots in every country…
It is self evident Bernd. Thanks though.
hard to believe Berlin does not have an store though?
I’m amazed as well. Berlin is one of my favourite cities, though I’ve not been there for a while.
Thanks Bernd….nice to have the inside scoop on this guy
Bernd…and you wanted to be polite 😉
I’ll say it even more unpolitely: This Hajo: das ist ein Arschloch!
(I am German as well, in Frankfurt, and glad to have an Apple Store in my city already, packed with customers. Apple sells here like pancakes!) Cheers, Heinz
I still wonder how this stuff ended up in Spiegel Online. Usually, that’s a sane news site.
Spiegel Online – a “sane” news site??? A lot of wire service stories mixed with some forth-rate home-made stuff like this one written by this pompous halfwit.
…and as of today the original story has drawn 1,658 comments – mostly from those losers who can’t get over the fact that Apple has won.
Yeah you don’t have to apologize.
I’ve been to Berlin, great city. And my entire Baltic sea trip a whole week…. Not nearly long enough, Berlin and Danish folks were the friendliest we ran into. (took a long train trip to Berlin from warnemunde (sp) from the cruise ship) train sucked… Long story, but the rest was a blast in Berlin. Great food great people, oh… And beer!
I proposed to my wife in Bavaria. Beautiful country. St Goar, Garmisch, Rutenberg, Franfurt, Rudesheim, Kipsbuehl, Octoberfest, the Christmas mart. The Linderhoff…
The beer! 1
“Whatever you do, don’t mention the war”
When I went to Berlin 10 years ago, I went to a history of Berlin museum, complete with guide. Lots of history and explanation of Berlin. 1933-1945 was like 2 minutes and not much was said.
Understandable, but we all kinda had a silent chuckle.
Loved Berlin, and I want to go back.
Funny. Birchasgarden is home to the Hitlers Eagles Nest. Also known as the Wolfs lair. UNBELIEVABLE once you get to the top. The place is rich in war history. Right down to the HUGE italian fireplace that was a gift from Moussolini (sp?) Now it’s not Auschwitz for pure war history, but it’s very interesting. Especially if you go into the local pubs. I got more than 2 minutes worth
Hitler’s Wolf’s Lair or Wolfsschanze was located in Rastenburg on the border between Poland and East Prussia and not in Berchtesgaden.
So Android tablet users are shouting look at me I’m a loser and behind? I don’t quite get the “I can afford it, too!” comment. It’s obvious this writer has no idea about tablets. The ‘competitive’ tablets are about the same prices as an iPad and none of them install programs by CD.
Show off??? What about pilots, doctors, sales reps, students, artists etc…? And as stated higher in the thread, most iPad owners tend to be discreet
That’s the funniest iPad/Apple rant I’ve seen yet. He didn’t just regurg the same ol’ memes, he expanded on them and brought new levels of inanity, illogic and froth to these tired eyes.
Scientology, Catholicism and Apple. A trumvirate of EVIL!
i thpught it was pretty funny and a few things were accurate.
of course its comedy and meant to incite. It is comedy right?
only if you’re “cool”…lol.
LOL 1
Ubiquity?
Now THAT would be really cool. Like Tron identity disks, we could all have one? And everyone’s iPad would have all their dearly loved photos, music, videos, newspapers, and contacts inside it for instant access? So it would be like a part of us?
Oh, wait. Ubiquity would mean it isn’t a “showing off” issue, wouldn’t it? I think the author missed day one in Logic 101.
What an amazing point he missed completely. If we all have iPads, we all have something in common, not something that sets us apart. What a very John Lennon-like idea.
I love to show off my iPad late at night, when I am already setting out to sleep. The problem is that only my wife is with me at that time. But she is impressed.
“Something that was pleasingly different, that gave its supporters a certain feeling of hipness, has been sucked dry by its sheer ubiquity.”–so he used to like Apple only because he felt cool and now too many people think they’re cool too so he hates Apple? Whoa. Moron.
I agree with the point about criticism by Apple users. MS programs run poorly on Macs b/c MS fails. Apple programs run poorly on Windows b/c …. MS fails. IE is security swiss cheese always being patched. Quicktime just received timely updates. I love Apple the do get quite a free pass.
When someone wonders how he can get the Windows program off the CD and onto the iPad, you know damn well he has never even touched an iPad let alone used one.
Nonetheless, MDN will scour The Earth looking for Apple hit pieces.
Gotta love it.
This guy contradicts himself so many times I lost count!
Apple is uncool, because it has become too cool? Huh?
He’s just looking for hits. Don’t give them to him.
I own a B&B in a highly touristed area of Canada and we’re seeing a lot of iPads this year. 20-somethings to 70-somethings have them. Nobody is showing off – they are *using* them and loving them as a travel device: e-books, maps, staying in touch with family – you name it.
That is hitting the nail on the head BNB.
People are just using them and enjoying them. People who struggle with computers and mice have taken to the iPad with incredible joy and confidence. It seems that removing the keyboard and mouse and simply touching it to make it work is what many of these folks have yearned for.
The guy is just wrong, but I’ve learned that there is little purpose in arguing with someone like this who is so fervent in their opinion. I don’t understand the reasoning, as I don’t understand the reasoning of Republicans. And that is because this guy and Republicans are not reality-based, their reasoning is not rational. It is clouded by their prejudice, their agenda or, in this guy’s case, their failure to appreciate the perfect matching of sleek design with efficient function. I pay higher prices not because I want to be cool, but because for some things it is worth paying a higher price.
Spiegel Magazine is the German equivalent of American “Globe Magazine”. Yellow shitty tabloid. Nothing to see here folks.
i have to totally agree with this guy…. My iPhone 4 anyway.
I had the hardest time making a damn phone call last month. It just wouldn’t connect… Then when the call went through, it dropped. Att/apple just suck..
Never mind the fact I was 40 miles from civilization… In the mountains of Montana, and nobody in our group could get a signal for more than 3 seconds… Regardless of who we had as a carrier.
But drive 2 miles closer to a populated area and we started getting service.
F’n AT&T/Apple… Make a damn iPhone that can place a call.
And when I pulled out my mbp…why the hell can’t apple make a laptop that can connect to my own wifi network? Im only a few states away from home… No reason it couldn’t connect.
Would love to see this guy install his ms office copy on his windblows phone…
Yeah, if Apple was about showing off, then the rising popularity of Apple would be a problem – being part of an EXCLUSIVE club is a big part of showing off.
Fortunately, the vast majority of Apple users don’t care about showing off, they just like great products. So they stick with Apple, regardless of how popular it is… or how unpopular it is.
The only thing that will turn us away is if Apple suddenly stops making great products, if it suddenly stops replacing hassle with delight.
My aging mother has a MacMini and an iPad (that as tech support, I gave her). She loves the latter for its simplicity.
I think I know what’s pissing off these sour writers; they anticipated a stock value freefall upon Steve’s relinquishment of the CEO mantle, and it hasn’t happened.
MDN posted this story so they, and just about all the rest of the usual posters here, could have a field day of bashing the basher. Read it again and ask yourselves – isn’t there at least a little truth to this take? Denying an affirmative answer makes you one of the legion of lemmings that Apple has relied upon for their success. Without Steve, it may not work any more.
“isn’t there at least a little truth to this take?”
No. Hajo’s take is desperate gibberish to the core.
“Denying an affirmative answer makes you one of the legion of lemmings that Apple has relied upon for their success.”
You are a troll.
P.S.
Denying you’re a troll makes you a terrorist. See? I can play that game, too.
What is a CD?
He probably got a high unexpected bill to pay. So using the Dwhorehack and Thurotten technique, he’ll have enough money from this hit piece to pay it. If thats not the case, then MDN is 100% correct that the dude is nuts.
come on people…what I’m gonna need you to go ahead do for me if you would, m’kay– madams and sirs– is to moooooove away from the “snark/fan-boy” bait.
It’s not worth it people come on.
‘SNARK’ is like water…you think it’s inexhaustible then you end up paying for it at Whole Foods—next thing you know—well–i don’t know what the next thing is but I’m sure it’s not good……….but come on people SAVE THE SNARK!!! PEOPLE!!! I BEG YOU!!!!
….AND IF YOU WANT “SOUL”, GO TO DA WREKA STOW AND BUY YOUS A SAM COOKE AlbUm!!!!!!
Shouldn’t there be a law against abject morons publishing blatant trash in the guise of unbiased tech reporting? Unbelievable! Call it “free speech” if you like. I call it toxic pollution.
“Apple enjoys legions of militant fans…” Um, there’s a reason for that, which anyone who frequents this site already knows. When it comes to quality of product, and militant loyalty of fans, there’s only one other American company that commands that kind of fanaticism: Harley Davidson.
Hitler also “…enjoy(ed) legions of militant fans”.
This has to be one of the most ignorant, half-assed remarks I have ever read on this website, and that’s saying something!
Congratulations, moron!
Hey…Thanks dumbass!!!
awwww…did your Prius break down this morning…tell u what…take off those smart frames, wipe your brow and GROW A PAIR!!!!!
Let’s get this straight, this halfass has never used a mac and he’s just might be old pc user who is behind in technology but also too he’s an eejit.
……Next!
Most the show-offs are the Johnny-come-latelys from Windows – who are proud that they escaped from the Stockholm syndrome! The writer just can’t comprehend it!
Brilliant, spot-on and important sociological analysis. Apple is so tightly controlled that it is no longer innovative, cool or exciting. In fact, creativity is stifled with Mac products. iPad? iPod touch. iPhone? Not much difference.
“Batshit insane” – sums it up.
I bought my iPad to USE, not to show off to other people. Virtually no one ever sees my iPad. I think the author is just revealing his own superficial approach to things.
This guy has an ugly low self-esteem problem that requires counseling…
Apparently the author defines the new “hip” as someone who eschews Apple products – particularly an iPad. Now, I’m off to my local Apple Store to get my iPad installation disk. None was included with my bourgiose iPad box.
I find the scientology comparison extremely offensive. I would the hell out of this guy
I find the scientology comparison extremely offensive. Being compared to a bunch of retarded morons literally stealing from people even more moronic. I would sue the hell out of this guy.
What an F’ING fool!
An image search on Hajo Schumacher yields what appears to be the illegitimate son of David Letterman and Jon Bon Jovi.
He looks more like Thomas Haden Church.
No more calls. We have a winner.
It sounds like he had a very bad experience at work even before he was fired. This is the usual fantasy of the building burning down behind you as you leave on the last day.
Apple haters are coming out of the woodwork now in large quantities and want their 5 minutes of attention. Don’t waste 5 min of your life, you will never get it back. Damn, just wasted mine.
Having a glass of red wine is about showing off? Who are you – Stalin??
A GUI so easy that babes and chimps can use it is showing off. Stop innovating and go back to the tin can wax string phone.
Someone needs to be kicked super hard in the nuts.
Isn’t this dude out of touch these days?… the calling of Apple and the Mac a cult (or some other religious nonsense) is out of fashion!
Maybe but its still a FACT as with the SCREAMING when Jobs dies in a few weeks you’ll wish you’ll never heard of the name Jobs 😉
soulless junk? Apple?!
wow.
you’re deep.
it’s easy to bitch bitch.
but show a better example before you open your big mouth.
what’s better than Apple?
MS Zune for human clones?
Goo Android for human drones?
getting knocked by dead Nokia?
getting a rim job by RIMM BlackBerry?
delighting yourself with dull Dell?
don’t scream or cry without examples.
Apple is imperfect.
they never said they were otherwise.
it’s your emotional response.
all Apple tries to do is do their best.
they are the best overall.
and your personal bad luck experience has nothing to do with Apple’s quality when they have the highest customer service & support ranking there is.
find another firm that does it better, than talk.
i had a few negative experiences, but what is perfect in life.
i however did always end up getting what i want from Apple.
and unlike other firms, Apple does listen & if you care more to solve your problems than bitch, you can bend Apple rules too. be diplomatic.
if any one is soulless, it’s ironically you.
in the end. if you hate Apple. go ahead. buy your zune or android & enjoy your bliss. it won’t last.
Well as a PC/MAC technician with over 35 years experience in the business, my comment is as follows: I have a closet full of dead PCs and laptops. All of which lasted about a year or so. All my Apple computers are currently in the office and Den being used and have been for the last 2 and half years. Our iPad is a wonderful addition to an already impressive array of well built, problem free computers and hand held devices that have lasted longer than any PC product we have owned. Apple is not just some stylish playtoy etc. Its a company that from a technicians point of view makes an extremely well designed and competent product that is worth every penny I spent on it.
Many Apple consumers purchase their products because they’re more reliable and long-lasting (note how often other companies are coming out with new Android phones and handsets). Many of us also refuse to join cults or submit to what the COOL people are doing. Instead, we go with what we believe is the BEST. Android users tend to not understand the difference between making the best decision and loyalty. I’m not LOYAL to Apple…..but their products have, so far, been the only ones in which I can feel confident consistently. I was a huge opponent of Apple for years until I bought my first iPhone. Quality will outlive quantity and low-prices any day of the week.
That basher is very positive because in business when someone is bashing a stock we say “Bashers bashed only good stock”
Did i miss something or did the writer not mention what Apple devices he used, how he used them, or how long he used them? It sounds to me like he came up with a bunch of bull for which he didn’t even bother to fabricate a mentionable personal history. What are the reasons that caused him to form the above opinions. That’s all that this article is…………………opinions. And in what way is it difficult to make a call on an iPhone? It’s actually SUPER easy. You need only to scroll to the spotlight and type in a name OR you can leave the phone app open to allow for double-tap access OR you can merely hold the home button and ask the phone to dial a contact OR you can place the phone app in the DOCK at the bottom of the home screen. This is a feeble attempt at getting attention and will probably spark a rally for those who either aren’t very smart, assume it must be right because its on the internet and in an article, just plain hate Apple, or all of the above. I’d love to hear which phone he believes has better functionality than the iPhone 4.
Wow this article really hit hit the Apple cult hard and made their vaginas extra gritty. Why can’t the Apple cult handle criticism? They just can’t handle being told their beloved itoys aren’t cool? There’s nothing cool about being a pawn to a huge corporation. Will these losers ever come around? Probably not, They’re nothing without Apple and they’re even less with Apple.
Yeh I see what you’re saying. Instead of Apple shoving opinions down my throat, you should be the one doing it.
No thanks, I decide for myself what’s cool.