Confessions of a former Apple fan: iPad is for show-offs, Apple is a totally uncool maker of soulless junk

“The iPad is for show-offs. And the iPhone 4 makes it difficult to make a simple telephone call. Apple used to be hip, stylish and ahead of the curve. Now, though, it has become totally uncool — and not just since Steve Jobs stepped down,” Hajo Schumacher writes for Spiegel Online. “The iPad has attained the social cachet once enjoyed by things like color TVs and inline skates. It’s almost like you can hear its owners shouting triumphantly: ‘I’m hip! I’m in front! And I can afford it, too!'”

“It’s the same with pulse-monitoring watches, red wine and handbags: It’s not about functions, uses or taste. No, it’s about showing off. Indeed, the iPad is the must-have, cool-kid item of the 21st century,” Schumacher writes. “The economic victory parade of the iPad and iPhone is accompanied by a dreadful emotional letdown, a bit like with the latte macchiato before it. Something that was pleasingly different, that gave its supporters a certain feeling of hipness, has been sucked dry by its sheer ubiquity. What was once cool has now become the epitome of uncool. If everybody has something, it can no longer set you apart. The most valuable company in the world produces exactly what all the other most valuable companies in the world have produced: soulless junk.”

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“Firms everywhere get sued whenever their products don’t do what they’re supposed to. Apple enjoys legions of militant fans who point out to any Apple critics that they’re just too dumb to use it right,” Schumacher writes. “Apple and its customers are today’s L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology: a community of believers completely detached from reality. The lines that used to form in front of St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome can now be found outside the Apple Store.”

Schumacher wonders, “And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”

Full article – Think Before You Click™ – here.

MacDailyNews Take: It is intensely satisfying to see that Apple’s tremendous successes have driven certain types of people absolutely batshit insane.

 

112 Comments

  1. Anyone notice this latest tyrant of “Apple is bad.. bad I tell you” .
    I have to wonder what is up here. Another round of Microsoft and Google funding the pundits,,,, or just the crazys???

    en

      1. I think certain types of people are being driven absolutely batshit insane, as MDN put it, by the fact that Jobs stepping down as CEO hasn’t caused Apple’s share price to hit $0, people to stop buying their products, and their whole campus to be incinerated by dragons.

        It’s not about opportunism or being pissed off that Apple’s been really successful lately, it’s about how Steve leaving was supposed to strike the magical deathblow and it didn’t.

        So now the Cult of Apple Hate is flying into a state of incoherent desperation. I think Hajo’s head was actually exploding when he wrote:

        “And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”

        I mean, that’s just… It’s so… It’s so beautiful it should be framed and hung up on a wall somehere. I’d ask where he bought an iPad app on CD-ROM, but I’m pretty sure it was Crazyville.

        Speaking of which, hey, Microsoft, “CEO Hajo Schumacher” has an awesome ring to it. Just putting that out there.

        1. “Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.””

          If he thinks he bought iPad apps on a CD then he must have a CD full of pirated apps meant for a jailbroken iPad. Unfortunately he and similar fools haven’t a clue how the theft system works when they search for a way to put the pirated apps into the iPad.

          Take delight in telling them just put that CD into that tiny magical slot at the bottom of the iPad like everyone else.

        1. Because he was never funny? Seriously, I got sick of him a few months after he arrived, and then he stuck around for years.

          And he had absolutely no concept of what satire is. In order for a piece of writing to be satirical, there has to be something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just saying “I hate Apple, Microsoft rules” is not satire.

          Zune Tang may have intended to be satirical, but he never came off as anything more than a troll.

          ——RM

          1. LordRobin… surely you jest!! Read your own words… “something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously.”

            Hello… did you ever READ Zune Tang’s comments??? For God’s sake man… he was praising things like the Zune media player and the Microsoft Kin. If that’s not enough of a clue to you that he wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, then I’ve wasted my time trying to respond to your comment.

  2. Who paid this guy to write this dribble?
    What insitefull opinions, not..!!

    Finally there’s useful Technolgy everyone can use. My 80 year old mom got her first computer, an iPad, and she loves it and uses it daily with no training. How is that junk??

  3. it must be nice to supposedly call yourself a writer and manifest this utter soulless drivel with a smug hypocritical self-righteousness all in the name of selling adspace…nice work hajotard. you are so cool.

  4. Some people obviously live in a clueless Bizarro World. What other manufacturer puts as much heart & soul in their products as Apple? I use my iPad & iPhone 4 because they fills a need in a terrific way, not to impress. I could give a crap about that. The only one I want to impress is me, by Apple.

    1. +1

      We never used Apple products because they were cool, we used them because they worked and you didn’t have to spend your weekends defragging your drive and running antivirus software.

      If he thinks technology is about being cool, rather than its intended purpose of making things easier, then that says all you need to know about him.

      Red wine and hand bags is about showing off?? I mean really, what planet is he from?

  5. It’s funny how some people’s mind work.
    Every single apple product I have brought keeps the same until a few years later that I made the upgrade.
    Every single PC owner I have seen buys a PC very cheap, then he has to pay for additional software, a web cam, another video card, bluthoot, wi-fi, antivirus and so on.. one year later, they have to change it because Windows does not run on his PC any more or is very slow to run it. Who’s is the soulless junk?

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