Here’s a video of some Microsoft retail employees in their fake Apple Store in Mission Viejo, California, faking “spontaneity” via, of all things, some rendition of “The Electric Slide” gone horribly wrong and performed, of course, to the wrong song:
Direct link to video via YouTube here.
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I’d forgotten what bile tastes like.
Yo, Microsoft. 1990 called. They want that dance back.
You have got to be kidding!?! Someone’s spoof, maybe done at an Apple Store!?!
Notice how only the OLD people look interested! (It’s okay, I’m a senior citizen too – but not delusional yet!)
Are you EFFIN kidding me!!!! What planet . . . .
are yo8u sure this isn’t a weight watchers meeting. How sad is this?
Love the headline, the Take, and the intro.
The video, however, is cringeworthy!
Microsoft must be purposely trying to damage themselves.
And while Microsoft crumbled, they danced…
Thats just degrading!
Well at least there’s plenty of room in the Microsoft store to bust a move. Couldn’t do this in Apple store even if in some alternative universe you wanted to.
They’re auditioning for Biggest Loser episode. Notice how few people are in the store? I would bet most are waiting on repairs and walking around in the meantime, how pathetic. I give this experiment 1-2 yrs iCal it!
I used to feel bad for those poor bastards at Cold Stone Creamery who have to sing while they shovel ice cream, but that has nothing on how degrading this sorry display is.
My mouth was open for long staring at this something flew in.
If it any more lame, they’d all fall over.
dude in the red closest the camera is gonna have a coronary…
I especially enjoy the fake customers…
Sig Heil!
There`s something inherently wrong with people dancing around all those MS swastikas. Well maybe if they`re good, they`ll be called to the chancellery to meet the Fuhrer himself.
Oh I like the guy high tailing it outa there at 1:31
How pathetic is that was question number one on the application form, can you dance?
I wonder if those poor employees were paid overtime to stay after hours, after the mall had closed, to rehearse this entire routine – so that someone who “just happened to have a video camera” could spontaneously film it and then release it on YouTube in the hopes that the whole world would know how fun it is to be a Microsoft Windows retail employee! Weee!
so wrong
Hm, to be real honest, I guess you couldn’t do that in an Apple store.
Because there are always CUSTOMERS blocking the “dancefloor”!!!
They do the same dance when I eat at LoneStar Steakhouse. Embarrassing there and really embarrassing here. It reminds me of the band playing on the deck of the Titanic as it is moments away sinking into the deep freezing waters of the Atlantic. As long as it takes … the Unsinkable Microsoft.
MS Store employee: Mostly I quit the Apple store because I just didn’t feel there was any dignity in the job.
“Is pathetisad a word?”
MW=why
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Would never have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes.
Sheesh, I guess some people will do anything to keep their job. LOL. And those people actually have to live in the OC.
I knew the store layout was copied, the furnishing were copied, and the concept was copied. I didn’t know the employee uniforms, the font on the shirts, and the nametags hanging around their necks were copied. So pathetically sad.
The only thing that would make this better is Ballmer coming in and doing a monkey boy routine followed by throwing a chair.
What about all the customers not being served while that was going on? What did they do to deserve that?
Um, yeah. That sure was cool. A bad takeoff on the choreographed wedding march maybe? That was just pitiful!
Oh, Dear Lord…the humanity…
I’ll *never* get those five minutes back.
instead of helping people, they got time to goof around..
I thought it was kinda cute. The sales staff are pretty young and they seemed to mostly enjoy doing this — some customer’s even joined in. An awful lot of salespeople though, for the number of customers. They may have been dancing for their jobs.
When laid off from his “real” job during the recession of 1955, faced with a wife and kids to feed, my father sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door. He related stories about going in to the office in the morning before they would head out on their sales routes and singing vacuum cleaner songs to boost their morale.
I hope that it looked a little more dignified than this.
Fortunately, Dad got his job back, climbed the ladder, and retired with a nice pension and a 401(k), so for him, at least, there was a happily-ever-after. I wish the MicroSofties the best with that.
Ballmer’s been shopping at Brookstone!
HA ! you have to keep yourself occupied some way when you have NO customers…..
Isn’t that the Black-Eyed Peas – the same song the little kid was lip-syncing on the web from an Apple store in NY ?????
Its just Microsoft trying to be something their not…. AGAIN !
these poor, hapless fools.
That said, the girl in the green shirt has nice’uns.
Those are even ugly t-shirt colors!!!!!!
I bet they could dance to Thriller or Smooth Criminal at the Apple stores LOL
Customer! Customer! Customer!
PAINFUL TO WATCH!
Clearly the girl in green is leading them. Choreographer or Aerobics Instructor. One has to wonder – does she really work there or was she hired to come in and lead the dance. She doesn’t have an employee ID card. She’s the only one in a green shirt.
The other thing one has to wonder is – did they rehearse this? Please say that they didn’t but I bet that they did!
I wonder if they will all come around you and sing happy birthday to you on your birthday?
Has the world gone MAD!?!?!?
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
OMG that was so lame. Lasted what felt like an eternity. I’m going to wash my eyes out with bleach.
Dammit, MDN, how about a warning that one shouldn’t eat before watching this dreck!!!!
Poor demented people. Very sad.
The most productive those employees have been – all month..
How very sad for these employees. I guess when jobs are tight you have to take what you can get. Worse for the customers, who are so dim they think they should join in. Maybe that says it all.
I’d rather dig my spleen out with a stick than be a part of something so lame.
@ Christ Almighty
“That said, the girl in the green shirt has nice’uns.”
The ones on the guy in the blue shirt on the right gives her a run for her money…
PC Apologist had it right. I was thinking it the whole time.
If I were a customer and had to watch them for 5 minutes spinning in circles before being helped I would have left or atleast been thinking…ok when is this over, i just wanna get outta here.. Being a former Apple Emplyoee (LOVED it by the way), customers got PISSED when they werent helped immediately…well, we were swamped most of the time. Unlike this store.
I can remember coutless times customers would interupt me when I was already with a customer for help.
If this weren’t staged, and I was a customer in that store (not that I ever would be), I think it’d be really aggravating to have to put up with 5 minutes’ worth of that kind of distraction.
I just……oh my……
Folks this is bringing Microsoft’s strategy down to the direct customer level. You get no useful information from Microsoft, just a song and dance!
I’ve seen better dancing on Hee Haw. Filmed with iPhone 3GS?
@christ almighty
“That said, the girl in the green shirt has nice’uns.”
Hell yeah! You took the words right out of my mouth Chris (figuratively speaking) 😀
can’t apple sue ms for their blatant copying now ?
this is just taking the piss
@ chabig…
MS didn’t copy Apple stores.
In the few Apple stores I’ve been in, the display tables run the depth of the store (length-wise, from front to back).
In the MS stores, they run the width of the store (from side to side).
Totally different. Now that’s MS innovation!
re the embarrassing video… at least the woman up front in the green top was worth watching
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That has to be the most retarded thing ever.
Pathetic…
Idiots! Don’t you just feel sorry for them?…
“Yes, hello, I’d quite like to buy one of your computers today.”
“Ok, I’ve just gotta do a dance first. You’re welcome to join in!”
*Leaves*
I was looking for Richard Simmons.
my god.
Oh dear I can just see that developed as an advert promoting the Microsoft image and ‘yoof’ culture. Does anyone else make it quite so easy to ridicule them? Even Japanese quiz shows are less degrading.
I wonder how many of those employees secretly have Apple gear.
P~A~I~N~F~U~L
John Hodgeman and Justin Long need to work this into one of their commercials. I’m just sayin’….
But when does Richard simmons jump out?
! could onl take :29 secs of this. Please make the images go away!!
That would drive me crazy while I was trying to concentrate on my purchase. I go to a store (albeit never a MS store, but one with a fruit logo) to shop, not have to listen to the obnoxious sounds of Soul Train rejects clapping to overly-loud elevator music. I’d call it an annoying distraction, but that would be an insult to distractions.
Very painful.
At first I thought might die.
Then I was sure I would die.
Then I was afraid I might not die.
Why did I watch that. The horror. The horror.
That went on FAR, FAR, FAR too long.
At least an Applebees Happy Birthday clap song (or other chain restaurant happy clap ‘n’ dance) only lasts about 30 seconds.
4:44 of that torture was just painful.
Microsoft: “Your innovation, our painfully lame ass copy.”
1:15 was all I could endure. Were there any customers in there?
This is horrible, how much can you lower yourself to keep the job?
Shouldn’t they be making a sale instead of dancing?
How about helping some customers.
I guess they want to keep customer’s attention away from those ugly products.
hey, has anyone actually been to this store? how busy is it? what kind of help can you get at the Guru bar?
haven’t seen any real “review” of the new MS that report what actually goes on …
@DM – well said.
This is about as comfortable and sincere as the servers sing happy birthday to you in a restaurant.
I have a better idea for them. Just clear the entire floor of the worthless merchandise and start teaching line dancing lessons. They’ll draw in more people.
Pathetic. Dancing for almost 5 minutes while there are customers waiting to be served? Notice the guy in front of the camera with the red shirt. I’m surprised he stayed. That would have made me upset enough to leave, however I would never darken the door of an MS store to begin with.
Man o man….this has got to be the worst thing that MS has done (next to copying Mac OS X). I echo the sentiments of every poster here. This is not only ugly…its just down right fugly.
At least they could have handed everyone a piece of cake with a candle in it. Isn’t that the usual reward for enduring that?
Best part of this was reading everyone’s hysterical reply posts here, I think we out did ourselves this time gang.
The apple stores in palo alto are always too crowded for a failed flashmob
This is what they do because there are no customers buying anything. The people sitting in the background are mall walkers who spotted an empty place to rest.
You imagine there are some layoffs coming at this store? It’s like the Sony store got down to two employees talking to each other all day until they finally shut it down.
ohhhhh….
and boom goes the dynamite!
When these stores close and these folks are out of work they will have a new “skill” for their resumes. And when it is announced they are all out of work please remember this video before saying how sad it is.
OK, did they really yell “Mozeltoff” at 1:50?
First, Windows 7 parties. Now this. It just gets better and better.
First the clapping on opening day.
Now spontaneous (and really awful) dancing.
I’m afraid to know what’s next. Seriously, that’s the last one of those youtube vids I click on.
It’s telling that Microsoft Store employees have the time to do what is nearly a five-minute dance. Sales must be so-so. I wonder if these “Wannabe Apple” customers are even aware of how pathetic Microsoft seems to be. Or are they in their own reality distortion field?
What the fsck are they dancing about? Lousy products? A culture of imitation? A company that violates every law it can get away with? Mediocrity (at best)? Conning consumers? I just don’t get it.
OMG! It cannot get more cheese on the cheese scale.
Did anyone see that customer dancing at 2:12? Did she just shoplift??
…and it keeps going and going. Painful.
See how its done at an Apple Store.
Disturbing
All overweight, just like their operating system.
It’s like a dork who sees two kids get into a playful, spontaneous water fight. He then runs up to ask them if they can come over to his house at 4:00 to have a playful, spontaneous water fight there.
Just give Microsoft the damned wedgie it deserves, tie its gym shoes together, throw them over an overhead wire, and send them packing. They are sooooo uncool.
Hey, let’s do a viral marketing campaign. Something everyone will forward to their friends. Okay, let’s dance repetitively… like that guy on the how to dance like Britney DVD. Yeah. And do it half-@$$. Yeah, like we don’t care. And, most importantly, make it long. People love long repetitive videos about products they’re only mildly curious about. It’s gonna be huge!
I love how one of the laptops in the middle of the store appears to have a BSOD going on.
Customer: Could I get some help?
Employee: *clap* In a few *clap turn* minutes
Customer: Umm…
Employee: *dance*
Customer leaves for the Apple Store down a few stores.
“Penalty: white man dancing on the field!” – Robin Williams
@Noodelfarm
of course there is enough room! Nobody wants to actually hang around there.
Pitiful, really pitiful.
Hey! I know what they’re dancing to:
You let the viruses in
You let the viruses out
You get some IT dude
to flush the trojans out
You hand the dude your wallet
and he takes $200 out – yeah
That’s what Windows is about
That dance is great but… can I get some freekin’ help here by system has blue screened and all of you… I mean ALL OF YOU are too busy pissin’ around!!!
GET BACK TO WORK AND HELP ME… remember me?… the customer!
HAHA! that is priceless
Hey …. if you work in a MS Store, you probably have lots of spare time due to lack of customers. Perhaps they should appease the senior citizen crowd and install shuffle boards ?
“Won’t somebody pleeeeease think of the children!!”
Oh, wait, I get it.
Microsoft Promotions had an idea;
(In the board room)
Chad: “We’ll have our retail drones, er, … employees break out in a song and dance routine so utterly horrifying, that anyone standing in line for service, will be compelled to flee the store, never to return!
Then we can report almost nil service and return rates for the products we sell!”
Brook: “That’s a great idea, Chad. Funny that I told you that very idea this morning, over coffee, you BASTARD!” …
*chair fight ensues amongst much shouting*
Those people who performed the spontaneous dancing in the Apple stores wouldn’t come to the Microsoft store, so the made there employees do it
Couldn’t they find a shorter song? God, that when on for what seemed forever.
@Toastie, looked to me that the girl in white at 2:14 put something in her bag, and I’m fairly sure she was new into the store just a little earlier… Could well have shoplifted something… Difficult to tell for sure since you don’t get a clear look at her before you see her shove something into her bag.
As for this being “spontaneous”? Pure BS. This is clearly planned.
omg, ummmm yeah, that was brutal. is this some alternate universe. ughhhh. im not feeling to well after that
@chew
brutal!
Lets play Spot The Shoplifter™! jump to 2:13 in the video.
Microsoft store is offering Jazzercise now?
Now THAT’S innovation!
I’m a PC, can I join in too?
< ACK >
The only thing that video made me do was FART! Whats worse, its smells like burnt rubber.
Let’s follow the logic here. It works for Johnny Rocket’s, so maybe we can capture some of that burger magic to sell Windows? I don’t know can someone help me here?
Douche chill.
I kept waiting for all of them to freeze, or drop dead from a virus or something. So pathetic.
Hey look it’s the CrAPPLE store! hmph. ….guess that’s what you can do when you have all that free time when your NOT RINGING UP ANY !@#$% MERCHADISE!!!!!!!
is that ballmer in the beginning?, he looks lost haha
The customer in the orange shirt looks like he wants some help. How about stop the dancing and serve the customers???
Hey, Steve Ballmer:
Can I get those four minutes and forty-four seconds of my life back, please?!
@ Xan
OMG! Yea the girl in white does look like she stole something @2:14. Nice catch!
This is horrible. Quit!!! Quit while you area ahead….ugh..sorry…microshayt has never been ahead.
Wow. Can you imagine being stuck in the store & forced to watch that? Egads!
I love how the only people clapping at the end are the employees.
That was just sad.
Nope, sorry, couldn’t pay me enough for that. Rather shovel sh1t on a pig farm.
Change the song please I hate that song by the Black Eyed Peas. Other than that I love Microsoft stores and I’m looking forward seeing one in my city/neighborhood.
http://www.bing.com When it comes to decisions that matter, Bing & Decide
there’s more employees than customers…
LOL. There are more employees than customers in that store, and the customers are doing their best to ignore the stupid employees (except for the person making the video).
If thine eye offends thee….pluck it out.
Oh the horror, the HORROR….
Now I won’t be able to sleep tonight without somebody holding my hand……why oh why did I press play.
@ I’m a PC
Balmer says . . . dance!
Good boy.
It looks like one of the job requirements for male applicants at the Micro$0ft Store is “man-boobs”.
On watching it again (I know, how sad is that?)
I’m not entirely sure that the girl in white w/ the bag actually shoplifted – or that she is even a customer.
At 1:56 you see her literally running into the store with the alleged customers in black and blue who also start dancing. At exactly the same time?
I think all 3 of them are shills. They can’t even get costumers to dance with ’em – they have to get employees to pretend.
This just gets sadder, and sadder…
Maybe if these Microsoft employees spent their time educating people in the mall about the fact that most of the mice, keyboards and monitors that they sell will work perfectly well on their Macintosh they’d be too busy making sales. But then if they were too busy actually selling stuff then they couldn’t invent stupid dances and look oh…so…lame and bored on YouTube.
I think I have to go with ericdano here.
I’m speechless.
And that’s saying something.
That’s workforce abuse at its worst!
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Some of them can def. use the workout though!
Lol so funny think i saw Zune tang dressed in pink in the back lol lol
I think Steve Jobs mentioned something about taste or lack thereof?
The Norwich dancing is lame. Not as lame as the Microsoft one, but still…..
Yup, this is a pure example of Microsoft. Screw the customer for five minutes while we TRY to dance in a store. Ignore the customer for show. Love the concept. Keep it up Microsoft with Ballhead.
I just have to go with the customer service without the fake entertainment and where the products focus on the user and not the whims of a software company that loves flash and awe- awe damn it crashed a gain Microsoft!
Apple yet again gains market share at the hands of Microsoft. It is getting way to easy!
It’s hipnotic.. I want to look away… but like a train wreck, I just can’t…
Not only would Apple never do this.. there’s no room in an Apple Store for two dozen folks each to use 50 square feet of floor to dance…
This went on for 4+ minutes?!?!
They do that at Johnny Rocket, a 50’s-themed hamburger franchise. That’s the only other place I’ve seen this sort of thing, though other posters say they’ve seen it elsewhere.
One does tend to feel bad for employees forced to do this. At least at Johnny Rocket, it sort of ties in to 50’s music and the whole period feel. But here it’s just aimless and awful. And you can’t escape the feeling all this razzle dazzle is meant to cover up the simple fact that the products aren’t of the same caliber as you-know-who’s.
This is so sad. Looks like Applebee’s.
LOL…… that is what you do when……. you have no customers
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That was… Disturbing.
I fell very, but very embarrassed for them 🙁
Must be hard to work for microsoft.
@Xan and Macdust
Why would she steal (I presume a copy of Win7) when Microsoft`s marketing partners at the Piratebay freely give away special edition copies with all the latest and hippest malware?
BTW it does look like she lifted something
+1
They were doing the celebration dance for the 100 Million th PC infected by at least 65,560.98 viruses, netting the cyber criminals a whopping record 358 Billion dollars in stolen passwords, credit card u name it…. just last month…
…not to mention the 948 Billion dollars Windows OS is costing the entire globe every month in lost productivity, doing defraggs, reinstalls, virus scans, reformats, and just about any other stupid thing!
Cool just like Johnny Rockets!! LOL
I still can’t get over how much this store looks like an Apple store. Just no imagination at all – it’s embarrassing for Microsoft… surely…
Plenty of time to dance when you ignore your customers. Even more time when you have none.
Couple’a things:
1. I think the video wall is cool – and how exactly is that a rip-off from an Apple store?
2. All I kept thinking was, “… when is it going to end?” [Referring to the “dance”.]
IS THIS MICROSOFT OR JOE’S CRAB SHACK
@chew
Actually, I don’t think she shoplifted.
I don’t think she’s really a customer.
You can see her running into the store at 1:57 with the “customers” in blue and black.
I think that they’re all paid shills.
Hmm…. just like windows itself… interrupts you to show you something completely ridiculous and retarded..
Can we say Irony? I think not. Some… ok most things aren’t completely thought of.
Eeeeeewwwwwww!
I’ve never seen a company so desperate to be cool.
Everyone looks so puzzled, “Where are the iPods?”
Alternate heading:
“Aw, another song? I just got back from Montana’s.”
Words cannot express what I am feeling right now.. but I will try
anguish, depression, sadness, anger, embarrassment, … …
This is why unions are necessary — this has got to be some sort of violation of labor law somewhere.
Those poor souls will never get a date again — assuming that just the fact they work in a M$ store doesn’t turn off any prospective partners…
@Emmteeprod
When it’s done in a Belgian train station, it’s cute:
When it’s done in a Micro$oft store, it’s just sad….
Who do you say they were? Moonies? Hare Krishnans? Sure looks like it … But seriously, if this isn’t cult behaviour, I don’t know what is.
MDN word, where, as in where in all the blue blazes did this insanely, ridiculously inane idea come from?
I thought it’d be fun to see Microsoft slowly die, but this is embarrasing. Can’t they even die in a normal way?
Hah, I talked to that Microsoft girl in the green shirt last week…
And this dance is SO LLLAAAAAMMMMMEEEEE!!!
Google needs to pull that video. Violates just about everything it touches.
Some of our malls have been doing this for months now. They would play their store’s jingle and every sales personnel not engaged with a customer dances to the tune of it. Happens every 4 or 5 in the afternoon, depending on the company.
Why oh why does this go on for 4+ minutes?? a 1 minute joke maybe, or if everyone in the store started to join in maybe, but this just gets tiring after 30 seconds.
I couldn’t watch the whole thing it was too painful. However I did notice that many of the participants were so overweight.
The ‘Red Shirts’ will be killed off first.
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The dork trying to be cool and failing MISERABLY. Is everyone at MS on crack? The fact that they repeatedly do stupid ish cracks me up.
Can I get some help here please?
And to think that someone who gets paid a LOT more money then me actually thought this is a good idea. Sheesh.
Sweet Jesus, make it stop.
No, seriously, there was no way I could have watched that to the end. Those poor kids looked seriously embarrassed to me and not having any fun at all. Were they under orders to have themselves such a ‘good time’?
Lots of fatties in the keep-fit class there too, looking scarily like the evil spawn of Ballmer. “You too can lose weight at work”…
I don’t know about you but I find crap like this annoying while I want to look at computers. Not only that it is way too long. Stop it already……
Is it me or are a lot of those sales people like uh obese?? Very much a dud of a store. Well I guess they are only expressing as much excitement as Windows can produce
I had to stop watching. My eyes…they burn.
Clearly they need something to do to pass the time…no one’s buying anything.
This is what Lemmings do as they follow each other off cliffs.
Girl in the green pretty cute though. Would check out the dance just for her!
I’ll give this ‘store’ another 6 weeks.
I’d rather wear a demeaningly short skirt and work at Hooters.
And I’m a guy.
The chick in the green top looks alright.
My scalp is tingling I’m so embarrassed for those workers…
Instead of dancing around like idiots what happened to spending time offering customer service?
I know, I know, I know we of the Apple scene would not wish to even poke a stick at “Microsoft’s customer service” but some of us are still forced to use Microsoft software for whatever reason.
I like the way that all of their shirts are bright garish colours – makes them look like their wearing Star Trek uniforms
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Though it’s a shame all the ones in red shirts are gonna be the first to die soon (probably crushed when the ‘View screen of Death’ falls off the back wall).
Much like Microsoft themselves – Make it so…
it’s hilarious that that many employees have nothing to do bc they have no customers… LOL
looks like even though microsoft knocked off all of Apple’s retail success research, not working for them…
Microsoft Store Employees Bust Out the Electric Cringe
And based on what I can guess about the corporate culture at Microsoft, I have no doubt this forced “fun” is mandated from above. You can just see Mr. “I LOVE THIS COMPANY!!” Ballmer mandating everyone to dance around, just to show just how “passionate” they are about Microsoft.
This is great… even better, the display of Norton anti-virus on the end of the one aisle. You don’t see that at an Apple store.
Looks like this is another Microsoft “viral” marketing campaign gone horribly wrong.
http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/09/11/18/microsoft_retail_store_gets_odd_viral_marketing_buzz.html
Seems like the Whois for “Brad Slavin’s” domain just so happens to list marketing site http://www.webheat.com as his company. Yet he claims he “just happened” to be there when the dance “spontaneously” broke out.
“Brad Slavin” also seems to be associated with a few other sites, some of a significantly less reputable nature: http://www.google.com/search?q=6038BlueDawnTrail
Wow! This whole MS project, including the dance, is what you would call a travishamocary. That’s right, a travisty, a sham, and a mocary all wrapped up in to a nice little photocopy! Yuck!
Embarrassing. But I don’t care what anyone says; I want the gal in green.
The girl in white T-shirt with black purse nearest the door at around 2:14 … did she just steal something??
The reason Churchill and Roosevelt didn’t kill Hitler in WW2 was that he was more valuable to the allied war effort as a live military idiot than dead and someone more competent in charge. Same goes for Balmer and company. Sheesh what a bunch of idiots.
Nice boobs on the girl in green, though.
Is that the infernal Vista “Red Screen of Death” at 1:40? Nobody there can fix it, I bet.
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!!!!!