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Microsoft’s Bizarro Universe: 8 years late; in garish color; featuring inferior products (w/ video)
Thursday, October 22, 2009 - 02:59 PM EDT

In a variation of a scene we've seen 275 times before, Microsoft has recreated an Apple Retail Store grand opening in such a way that only a serial copier could love. It's the ultimate "Me Too" statement.

As if Windows and the Zune didn't do enough to stamp Microsoft as an pitiful Apple follower, welcome to the Microsoft Retail Store:

Direct link to video via YouTube here.

MacDailyNews Take: Shameless, sad, and more than a bit scary. In Microsoft's Bizarro Universe, no one has ever been to an Apple Store or seen even one second of one of the tens of thousands of Apple Retail Store grand opening videos on YouTube, so when they see Microsoft's "new" retail experience, they'll think of Microsoft as such the innovator. Up in Redmond, they're delusional to the nth degree. And a fish rots from the head down. (May Steve Ballmer remain Microsoft's CEO for as long as it takes!) As usual, Microsoft follows Apple around like a brain-damaged three-legged puppy. Certainly no company, not even Palm, wishes they were Apple more than Microsoft. Ballmer ought to just rename the whole mess "Derivativesoft" and buy every billboard on the planet to proclaim: "All we do are half-assed Apple copies, suckers!" Seriously, who do they think they're fooling?

We can hear the laughter from Cupertino and we're in New York today.

As luck would have it, Apple's 275th retail store's grand opening took place in Cardiff (UK) today.

Here's queue for Apple Store St David’s 2, Cardiff, UK Grand Opening:

Direct link to video via YouTube here.

Now those are lines. We'll check back to see how the lines look for Microsoft's 275th store if they ever get there. (smirk)

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader "iest" for the heads up.]

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Oct 22, 09 - 03:06 pm Comment from: Macintosher

Well done Apple. Oh, and M$? Go sit on the naughty step for being a copycat.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:06 pm Comment from: LateRegistrant

Kinda shrill, ain't it.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:07 pm Comment from: dave320

Creepy.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:07 pm Comment from: m159

Copied everything down to the high-five gauntlet. How many of those customers are msft employees?

Let's check back in a few months.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:08 pm Comment from: Mike

I don't know why...but I feel embarrassed for them.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:10 pm Comment from: Dallasm

That Apple store video made my jaw drop. OMG people! Do you realize that Apple will happily be there the next day to take your money from you?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:10 pm Comment from: MacTony

Next......... they will be selling Macs running bootcamp with Windows 7 hmmmmm

Oct 22, 09 - 03:11 pm Comment from: Rike

Saw Ballmer on CBS. He said M$ has 9 out of 10 people as customers. Later on a blog he said 95%. I just hope people who buy those touch screen monitors enjoy cleaning. The fish bubbles are cute, how do they help get work done?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:11 pm Comment from: Rankin From Nova Scotia Canada

The poor Moneysoft sheep drones walking into the slaughter house so mindless like as they cheer...

oh joy... HP, Dell, Acer and Toshiba, and they're clapping... Makes me happy to know the morons of the tech world got "Windows Shopping" so the apple stores are free of wasted space and intellectual dead weight.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:11 pm Comment from: Altivec Guru

LMFAO - how retarded.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:11 pm Comment from: zmarc

OMG, that M$ store is direct copy of Apple's! Wouldn't any other company in the world be *embarrassed* to be so blatantly ripping off another? I mean, the same glass front, same layout, same tables, even employees dressed the same wearing employee tags. Couldn't they do *anything* different?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:12 pm Comment from: chew

Thought I was watching Dawn of the Dead

Oct 22, 09 - 03:13 pm Comment from: Quad Core

Doesn't Arizona have stalking laws?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:14 pm Comment from: ken1w

I noticed there was no shot of the line outside the Microsoft Store. That's one thing Microsoft could not copy.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:15 pm Comment from: twodales

Mimeosoft strikes again.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:15 pm Comment from: Olaf Möhring

Microsoft's "grand opening" looks like a big selling off " hustle&bustle;";))

Oct 22, 09 - 03:16 pm Comment from: Moo Latte

Lots of jealousy here. Sheesh people, be happy for them. Competition is a GOOD thing, remember? Keeps Apple on its toes.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:16 pm Comment from: dd

cheering made sense on the iPhone 3GS launch and iPhone launch days because you were going to walk out of the store with the hottest, most advanced cellphone on the planet for which you queued a couple hours.

just wait until their store is jammed full of people who are having upgrade problems. They just see apple retail dollar figures and forget there's a reason they insulate themselves from the public. Just wait.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:17 pm Comment from: Whatever

Those people look like they were paid to stand in line at the Microsoft store as they all arrived 2 hours before the opening - It obviously was a set up they even had port-a-poties set up in the parking lot. WOW is right we will see how long the crowd lasts - every Apple store I go in is always packed.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:17 pm Comment from: chew

Funny though, I guess they havn`t put up the 3" thick Lexan shield to separate MS gurus from customers yet.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:17 pm Comment from: Zuno the Clown

That was a really mean thing to say about brain-damaged three-legged puppies. Clearly, any such puppy has more to offer than a Microsoft store.

Take it back, MDN! Take it back, I say!

Oct 22, 09 - 03:18 pm Comment from: RL

Unashamed rip off of the tables in the center of the store with equipment. The uniforms with different colors denoting different positions. Even the name tags hanging from the necks of the poor sales people who will be forced to sell second rate products. I can not wait until those screens that surround the store show the computer blue screen of death.

The only things Microsoft can lay claim to is The Blue Screen of Death and the Red Circle of Death. I can not wait until the novelty wears off and people finally realize that the only difference between this and Best Buy are the selection. There is nothing you could see here that you wouldn't find at your local WalMart.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:19 pm Comment from: silverwarloc

I just noticed that when comparing the two videos, the Apple store showed teh queue to the entrance--and its pretty damn long. Yet, on the MS video, they only showed the portion where they started cheering the patrons coming in. How come there is no video of the queue for the MS store....anyone, please, provide some clips.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:20 pm Comment from: ipod

You should see the stream from Balmers launch party - http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2009/10/22/live-blogging-the-windows-7-launch/

I hate to have that PC crash when it is streaming 17 streams at once - the whole house will be pissed at you - also I guess You have to go to the PC to change the channel or watch a different movie.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:22 pm Comment from: Rory Porth

Note in the 1st frame, on the right of the frame - the guy in red inside looks like he's holding his nose and holding up his hand for a high five...

seems about right....

Oct 22, 09 - 03:22 pm Comment from: 84 Mac Guy

For the next Get a Mac commercial, John Hodgman should dress up in casuals and wear a Justin Long mask, then repeat every word Justin Long says and mimic every move the Mac makes. The title of the ad could be copycat.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:23 pm Comment from: Hint Hammer

Zmarc,

No.

...the same good looking staff. Uh. No. Wait...

BTW, why aren't the staff the least bit embarrassed? Have not one of the these WinDroids ever seen an Apple Store? Isn't there an Apple Store in that town?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:25 pm Comment from: Fitz

I didn't think the MS store would look THAT much like an Apple store. It's practically identical! Right down to the center tables with the laptops. They have no shame.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:25 pm Comment from: Hey

Is that the blue screen of death all around the store on the displays? They are all blank and blue.. You would think there would be something on the for an opening.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:25 pm Comment from: mozart11

The thing is Microsoft is not a copy cat. For decades they truly do not see what every other person does. Whether a store opening or an OS.

I watched the video. My frost thought was. "I have never in decades seen customers waiting to get into an Apple store have ID badges haggling on their neck" And the SAME lanyard hanging around each person's neck.

Those that make the real decisions at Microsoft can see one things with their eyes and then not even copy one aspect of it, Scary.

As I've said for years, an no pun intended - a monkey could have been running Microsoft for the last 10-12 years and they would be in the EXACT same position. A monopoly does allow a lot of cash to be accumulated.

Watching Microsoft and Ballmer trying to compete? This is the fun for me. Laughable for sure. Ballmer/Microsoft dismissed Google and look. Same to Apple. Look. Firefox? Neo/Open Office - same.

Microsoft in the next 5 years will be a very faint shadow of what it once was. A monopoly with billions in cash, STOPPING competitors and then not competing.

Just laughable.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:26 pm Comment from: tzx4

Wow I did not expect such an absolute carbon copy. Right down to the colored shirts with badge necklaces.
Seriously, if all a company can do is imitation, what does that tell you about their future as a company?
Yup, M$ , second rate & two years late!

Oct 22, 09 - 03:26 pm Comment from: lurker

I've seen some sad in the past, but that was a record setter. The t-shirted employees outnumbered the "customers". Also, did you note that the camera never looked outside of the M$tore. What, no lines?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:27 pm Comment from: Weatherguy

Today's Everett Herald, heraldnet.com, look at bottom right for the days front page, you will see Steve Ballmer and his twin.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:27 pm Comment from: Amazin1

Based on point :57/1:06 in the video, everyone is in the store that was standing in line. That was it? And how many shills were in that line? I see all sorts of computers on display? Are they for sale? What brands? What brands got excluded?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:32 pm Comment from: giofoto

I think I am going to walk in a MS store one day (with an huge Apple shirt) and check out some of the stuff and just start LOL ROTFLMAO then I am going to ask them if they have iPhone's? Whaaaat? shock You dont? Oh yeah...you dont even have a phone that competes with it! LMAO! LOL

Oct 22, 09 - 03:33 pm Comment from: Dancing Apeman

What can you say?

The Borg are absolutely desperate these days.

They would be. You know who's in charge ....

Latest amusing picture of Ballmer on Fake Steve (originally in New York Times)

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pNJFZtinpKY/Styb-_V05UI/AAAAAAAAFtY/nMeOUdMYNuc/s1600-h/msft_650.jpg

And the clown thinks he can talk down the iPhone by pointing out how many applications are available for it.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:34 pm Comment from: rob

How said for them--its like the GOP marching

Oct 22, 09 - 03:35 pm Comment from: aaplsaur

I didn't see any Purell.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:37 pm Comment from: G4Dualie

I was number 110 (last person in line) at 7:45 AM. My gift bag had a card for a free zune. There weren't a thousand people there that's for sure.

Here are some pics...

Oct 22, 09 - 03:40 pm Comment from: pr

This video looks like it was shot by Ballmer himself!!!!!

It's shaky, from a high vantage point, the microdorks are attempting to high five the shooter, it has a bit of monkey boy dance to it...and
the suits in the back are smiling at the person shooting the video.

Microsoft has ALWAYS done this...they copy, copy, copy, copy.
They are the BORG people...

but even the Borg can be defeated.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:42 pm Comment from: Tripp

I can't wait to see the inevitable photo of those wall-to-wall video screens displaying Blue Screen of Death.

It's only a matter of time.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:42 pm Comment from: Microschitz

Oh my God, everyone knew that Microschitz would attempt to copy the Apple stores, but copy even the floor??? They're desperate!

Looking at the store and people in the video, I can only surmise that Microschitz is for the masses like MacDonald's is for the masses, as in sheople.

I'll put a $100 bill on it right now, that this first birth (excuse me, abortion) store will be closed within 24 months.

iCal it!

Oct 22, 09 - 03:46 pm Comment from: _Bill_

@m159, @lurker

Good point; from the outside, it looks like hundreds of people, but inside all but the inner "high-five line" are employees. Don't get me wrong; there are a lot of customers. We'll see what happens...

Oct 22, 09 - 03:47 pm Comment from: MacCanuck

Remembering back to days of...

- Microsoft hijacking dead people's IDs and pretending they were writing in to support it (anti-trust trial)

- paid bloggers and public support, and

- the infamous lady "Mac to PC" switcher (her photo was stock and she worked for MS's PR firm)...

this wild, cheering, crazy crowd seems like another MS paid and setup PR exercise.

Other than "mild crowd" lineups for Win95 or gamers for Halo, when has anything from MS (especially Windows) garnered such a large and passionate reaction?

Oct 22, 09 - 03:53 pm Comment from: qka

That was a nasty thing to say about three legged puppies.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:56 pm Comment from: almux

Just as pathetic! ;.(

Oct 22, 09 - 03:56 pm Comment from: scott

Well, they stole away Apple employees by pouring money on them, so it was inevitable.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:57 pm Comment from: @iPod

"You should see the stream from Balmers launch party - http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2009/10/22/live-blogging-the-windows-7-launch/ "

Not likely. I'd have to MS-ify my computer with Silverfish.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:58 pm Comment from: January 24, 1984

High BMI crowd there.

Oct 22, 09 - 03:58 pm Comment from: Tommyr

All that hooting and hollering was from the EMPLOYEES, NOT the public! ROTFLMAO!

Oct 22, 09 - 04:00 pm Comment from: John B

I wonder how many people go in the store and ask where the Macs and iPods are?

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