A couple on the south side of Chicago gave their 12-year-old daughter a Microsoft Zune from Wal-Mart.
No, we don’t know what the girl did to deserve such a hideous punishment. And, believe it or not, it gets worse. How is that even possible, you ask?
Well, it seems the Zune had already been returned at least once (big surprise), but it came with a whole lot more than an instruction manual, according to MyFox Chicago.
Is an almost two-hour-long homosexual orgy video on an already-returned open-box device that nobody wants high atop your 12-year-old daughter’s Christmas wish list? Then the Wal-Mart on Chicago’s south side eagerly awaits your visit.
We’ll leave the “squirt” jokes to you. Full video report here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Sketchtrain” for the heads up.]
Related articles:
RealMoney’s Comeau predicts: ‘Microsoft will kill the first Zune media player by midyear’ – December 16, 2006
Desperation time? Microsoft Zune already being discounted by retailers – December 13, 2006
Microsoft Zune plummets to 5th place in U.S. digital media player market share with 2.1 percent – December 04, 2006
Analysts: Microsoft needs to ‘rethink’ as interest in Zune fades fast – December 01, 2006
Amazon’s bestselling MP3 players list chronicles Microsoft Zune dud – November 20, 2006
Opinion: More blood on Apple iPod’s Click Wheel: Microsoft pulls plug on Zune – July 25, 2006
And all along Ballmer thought his Zune was stolen.
Squirt This!
MDN Word= Lay (no comment)
I love that the complaint was that it was a homosexual orgy. If it was a heterosexual orgy, that would have been ok…
Just wondering
Microsoft and Wal-Mart, a match made in…HELL.
Microsoft Zune: Welcome to the Facial.
Don’t know how you all manage to put the blame on Mafiasoft for this one but it is a crazy story nevertheless.
If the Zune is loaded with some really good gay porn maybe I would buy it.
I should talk to MS about a distribution deal for my gay porn productions. Ballmer, if you’re listening (or just drooling on yourself) call me.
-c
The Zune floated back to the top of the toilet bowl.
They should have used a bigger plunger so that it did not return.
I knew the tag line was welcome to the social but thats a little too social.
You the south side of Chicago
It’s the baddest part of town
When you go down there
You best beware
of a man named Leroy Brown
that the 12 year old daughter is already a mother of two.
This may very well save the Zune.
Let’s face it – porn drives technology.
So MS should advertise Zunes in the back of under the counter magazines and ship them in brown paper wrappers and have them preloaded with porn. Pretty zune, there will be lots of Zunes out there squirting each other.
This could be the only way Zune could get market share.
You gotta wonder about anyone MORONIC enough to buy an open-box Zune from Wal-Mart. How fscked up is that??
BTW, how do they know the asspack orgy is 2 hours? Did someone time it? Eeewww….
there will be lots of Zunes out there squirting each other.
What about Zune owners (heh) who don’t want to get squirted on? Will there be wireless-blocking chastity pouches?
Or how about Zune condoms to help contain squirts?
Some how I don’t think this is the kind of “Social” MS had in mind…
This preposterous product will vanish real Zune (soon).
Okay, I give up. I guess I’ve been wrong all along. Zune sucks. iPods and Macs rule. I’m going to get rid of my Zune and get an iPod and a Mac.
Is this the same Wal-Mart that had the tossed salad dressing right next to the camcorders and Wesson next to the bungie cords? No, wait. That was Bal-Mart…
(“we need a clean up in hardware on aisle 69”)
(“our prices aren’t the only thing going down”)
(“Sorry sir, we have a ‘no return’ policy on gerbils”)
(“Our clothes are always half off!”)
(“Thank you for shopping Bal-Mart, where the customer comes first”)
This just goes to show that the Zune and gay orgy pornos were made for each other. This takes the Squirting phenomena to a whole ‘nother level.
Wow, my two favorite things, the Zune and Gay Porn! Yes!!! Welcome to the social indeed!
I’m responsible for this….
My abusive father, Zune Tang Sr. loaded my Zune with gay porn & forced me to watch….
So one day after school, I returned the Zune to the Walmart in our local Chicago neighborhood…. I just wanted the horror to end (more of the horror being a teenager who actually owns a Zune)…
They are now basing a Law & Order SVU episode on this whole incident that will (ironically) be available from iTMS for download….
I feel so ashamed… The police are stil hot on the trail of Zune Tang Sr…
I am now in group therapy for individuals recovering from the mental anguish & isolation felt from owning a Zune (all 4 of us)…
Welcome to the social…
The poof parade, also known as Zune Tang and friends.
Wal-Mart sucks. Democrats and Republicans alike know that they are ruining the economy.
Man, this stuff is gold. Does this kind of thing ever hit the newspapers in the US. Or do only the 17 people who visit MDN get to hear about it. Get this kind of news into the mainstream.
Gay porn?! That is imposible! Not a single gay buys device that ugly!
Proud owner of the 60G iPod Video with 20G of gay porn.