“Apple is a master at hype, everyone knows this. Its founder, Steve Jobs, is well-known throughout the industry for possessing a “reality distortion field” which makes people crave Apple computers and one-button mice despite their exorbitant price and in the face of all rational logic. Both the Apple hype machine and Jobs’ reality distortion field have kicked into overdrive this year with the recent release of the bold, innovative and affordable G4 Cube…oops I mean the Mac mini,’ Jorge Lopez writes for Divisiontwo Magazine in an article which is obviously meant to be a joke.
“I’ll admit, we were excited at first to get one in the lab to put through its paces. I had heard about the machine and seen a few clips on G4 of Steve Jobs’ keynote at Macworld San Francisco in January. My curiosity piqued by the pronouncement of a $499 computer from Apple, I checked out Apple.com to look up its specs. While the hardware is about roughly equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995, what got me interested were Apple’s claims about its size, weight and footprint,” Lopez jokes.
“The Mini has got some built-in software for basic computer functions, but it can’t do many common things as well as its grown-up brothers in the Windows world can. The little things can add up to big frustration for someone who might accidentally buy a Mini expecting it to be just like Windows. For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention,” Lopez writes. “So is the mini a maxi value? For me, clearly, no. When I consider that a good deal of my time is spent running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware–none of which are available for the Mac platform–it doesn’t make sense for me to “switch” to a Mac at this time. But will Apple’s famous marketing team be able to sell the the emperor an invisible computer anyway and turn the mini into a maxi hit? That’s the question that remains to be answered.”
Full article, funny stuff, here.
This guy is hysterical:
“with Windows XP I don’t gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.”
“I save a lot of time thanks to Windows XP, which brings me to another area where Linux is lacking. As I am sitting here writing this column, my computer is busily defragging my hard drive, running my virus scanner, and I’m being shown a list of all the latest MS security patches that are being remotely installed on my machine today.”
He’s a piss taker par excellence!
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm
The web is a dangerous place. Can you believe someone posted satirical work and did not clearly announce to the unsuspecting reader that the piece was satire. Imagine, someone might believe it. This type of behavior should not be allowed. We really need better control of the web.
The giveaway starts with the reference to Mail requiring user intervention, and the sending of VBscripts to co-workers.
Heh, cool. I knew you guys would appreciate this. (only mentioned when oddly apt: magic word: give)
Sorry guys! But I want to get information, or at least “good litterature.”
Sarcastic? really? I don’t think this was worth to link or/and re-publish.
I have the impression I’ve lost my time to try to get it!
(My real mother-tongue: french). Therefore: I didn’t learn anything, and worst: I didn’t laugh!
“sans rancune” Go mini…
When I read this article a couple of days ago (it was linked from MacSurfer), I, too, was incensed. As I read more and more I kept thinking to myself that this guy cannot be this clueless! There has to be something wrong! So I went and looked at the rest of the site…
Yup. It’s a joke. Whew!
What’s even funnier was the credit for the article: Jorge Lopez, MCSE. For those who don’t know, MCSE is Microsoft Certified System Engineer. He’s also a graduate of DeVry University (or as a friend of mine puts it, “DeFry–as in, “You want DeFries with that?”). So here we have a person who has been fed the Microsoft party line and not taught anything else.
The other amusing one written is “Windows vs. Linux on the Server and the Desktop”. Best quote:
“Linux is seriously lacking in Internet utilities as well. No way would I run a Linux operating system if it means I can’t connect to America Online.”
Yes, those two sentences follow each other. Priceless!
I’m glad I have a computer that doesn’t require me to spend a “good deal of my time running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware.” It’s just not necessary. (well, except for the Update part, but we have Software Update for that)
maxi? maxi-pad.
It’s like I was telling my good friend, Samuel Clemens, the other day: You write a satirical proposal to help solve a problem, and suddenly everyone is accusing you of cannibalism.
Satire and irony are hard sells in this literal century, just like they were in the 19th…
i was sucked in badly.,…..
Thing aren’t like they used to be . . . they never were . . .
Did:
“I want to get information, or at least “good litterature. Sarcastic? really? I don’t think this was worth to link or/and re-publish. I have the impression I’ve lost my time to try to get it! (My real mother-tongue: french). Therefore: I didn’t learn anything, and worst: I didn’t laugh!”
Good thing you don’t run MDN then.
A lot of great lines. The caption about Safari and MSN. And this:
Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:\applications folder.
Pure brilliance in straight-faced delivery.
Current satire on:
http://www.divisiontwo.com/
check out the top link:
http://www.dellrumors.com/
funny!
Another great article by the same author (less subtle satire
for those who complained):
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/windows_no.htm
When I read “it�s buried in the c:\applications folder”, it totally reminded me of the time I was looking for some stuff at a PC shop for my (then new) PowerMac 7200.
Somehow while chatting with the sales guy, he looked at me very seriously and said “The reason why PC (IDE) hds can’t be used in Macs (SCSI) is because PC uses C: to boot but Mac uses E:”
Let me tell you, it took real discipline not to laugh my ass off right there and then.
for all y’all who thought/think this was/is serious… stay away from Jonathan Swift…
Some more good quotes from the Windows vs. Linux article:
I especially like the four games it comes with – Hearts, FreeCell (so addictive!), Minesweeper, and Solitaire. It’s easy to see why XP is considered the ultimate platform for gamers.
…with Windows XP I don’t gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.
Users of Microsoft software have nothing to worry about from a legal perspective, which lets Windows network administrators like myself sleep easier at night. Or it would if our pagers weren’t constantly going off.
Subtle. I like it. Even [after] reading the comments from people who believed it
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LOL @ Johnathan Swift. I have a solution to world hunger…
Magic word is — I won’t tell you, and PLEASE stop telling me!
Suggestion, if you’re going to use it, just use it and put it in [square] brackets. Play the game if you want, but don’t discuss it, it makes me have to scroll
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“equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995”
YIKES! The Mini is more powerful than the Computer I’m using NOW(I bought this a year ago) and this eMac comes with the newest version of Tony Hawk 4.. I can run like 8 programs at once including many of the most powerful digital imaging programs…
You think in 1995, they could have run iLife on..
You’re joking right?
yo stringbean..
what does it tell you, that mac users are skeptical that this might not be a joke.
this is the kind of misinformation we’ve been seeing for decades..
The Windows guys have to try harder if they want to seem ‘off the wall’..
The other article I read at the site <http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/nospin1.html> is by Michael “Call me a right-wing conservative Christian if you must (I wear that badge proudly)” Eagan:
“One thing the Abu Ghraib photographs showed the world, besides our troops using appropriate measures to extract information from freedom-haters, is just how rampant the disease of homosexual soddomy is in the muslim world. Even hooded and blindfolded, homosexual insurgents were caught many times engaging in wanton acts, sometimes even posing for the camera.”
Ahhh, that takes me back. It’s like reading undergraduate college newspapers all over again.
Seahawk, just goes to show that the Kool Aid works both ways, huh!
I don’t understand why some of you have to berate those that didn’t see the sarcasm in this article. Is it your need to feel superior to the other Mac fans here?
I don’t know. Could it be that the “reviewer” thought the Mac mini was supposed to be the size of a pack of gum and weigh less than 4 quarters?
And to press the point:
Hold a Mini in one hand and four quarters in the other and tell me which one feels heavier. You could perform this experiment yourself at an Apple store.
Or maybe:
<i>For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention. Personally I find it annoying, but if someone doesn’t depend on emailing their coworkers vbscripts like I do, they might be able to get by with it.</i>
Or:
By using cheap Asian child labor to assemble the units, costs have been reduced even further. I would like to see them continue this trend, possibly strike a deal with China to use inmates to assemble the Mini for even less, like Lenovo does.
And Webmaster’s Apprentice …
<style “donnnnggggg” when the Mini is first turned on, during normal operation the unit makes no sound whatsoever.</i>
Which is to say, it does dong but then runs so quiet, a noob might be unsure if the computer is on. Maybe if the “reviewer” were more savvy about MacOS, he might have suggested such noobs check the Apple Menu’s About This Mac feature to be sure.
stylish, full-featured eMachine
That cracked me up!