“Apple is a master at hype, everyone knows this. Its founder, Steve Jobs, is well-known throughout the industry for possessing a “reality distortion field” which makes people crave Apple computers and one-button mice despite their exorbitant price and in the face of all rational logic. Both the Apple hype machine and Jobs’ reality distortion field have kicked into overdrive this year with the recent release of the bold, innovative and affordable G4 Cube…oops I mean the Mac mini,’ Jorge Lopez writes for Divisiontwo Magazine in an article which is obviously meant to be a joke.
“I’ll admit, we were excited at first to get one in the lab to put through its paces. I had heard about the machine and seen a few clips on G4 of Steve Jobs’ keynote at Macworld San Francisco in January. My curiosity piqued by the pronouncement of a $499 computer from Apple, I checked out Apple.com to look up its specs. While the hardware is about roughly equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995, what got me interested were Apple’s claims about its size, weight and footprint,” Lopez jokes.
“The Mini has got some built-in software for basic computer functions, but it can’t do many common things as well as its grown-up brothers in the Windows world can. The little things can add up to big frustration for someone who might accidentally buy a Mini expecting it to be just like Windows. For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention,” Lopez writes. “So is the mini a maxi value? For me, clearly, no. When I consider that a good deal of my time is spent running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware–none of which are available for the Mac platform–it doesn’t make sense for me to “switch” to a Mac at this time. But will Apple’s famous marketing team be able to sell the the emperor an invisible computer anyway and turn the mini into a maxi hit? That’s the question that remains to be answered.”
Full article, funny stuff, here.
Hilarious … but the Linux box for grandma cracked me up. The Mac mini article could’ve gone a bit further. Staying close to the edge of seriousness probably serves its purpose better.
M/W: systems
Kassandra, you may be the “biggest moron in the world”. Try reading some of the above comments.
You people really need to learn what an F’IN joke is. This is so clearly satire. I thought Mac users were SMARTER than PC users…. apparently not people who read MDN. They can’t understand a BASIC tool used by writers to make a point.
Sweet Moses, have you people never heard of satire before? Man, I can’t believe this many people took it seriously…
I detected no trace of irony at all in this article, therefore I think that it is a serious, if totally misinformed, review by someone without a clue.
The following quote gives you some idea as to the relevance of his opinion;
‘If you believe Apple’s marketing department, the new Mini is “smaller than most packs of gum” and weighs “less than four quarters”.’
I think he is getting confused with the iPod shuffle.
He makes a big deal about not having a virus scanner shipped with the machine. Why would we need one and what PC actually ships with a free scanner anyway?
The list of software he says is not available is also nonsensical. There are plenty of programs that give weather reports for the Mac and OSX’s own Keychain app does an admirable job of tracking all my passwords.
There is no need for defrag on Panther as it performs this function on the fly.
If this is a joke then he is not very good at it. My opinion, though, is that it is not – the author is the joke and deserves to be stuck with Windows.
heh, even if he was joking, the fact that we can’t run scripts or etc. from Outlook IS a GOOD THING.
Actually, the setting up a computer for Grandma story was hilarious. It reminded me of a Slashdot argument for using linux. “Gnome is lighter, faster, and has fewer configuration options to deal with so new users like it, but it starts to feel somewhat restrictive after awhile.” ROFL!!! Hope grandma can remember to ++dvd flag MPlayer when she compiles it. Love you grams!!!
A whole bunch of comments posted while I was typing..
I stand by my comment that if it is a joke then it is not a very good one, as someone else said, it is way too subtle. Good satire should be more outrageous.
Damn article made me blow tea out of my nose I was laughing so hard. My favorite quote:
“Think of it more as a first computer for your daughter or niece than as a machine to get any serious work done and you’ll get the point of the Mini and its target market. It might also be the perfect computer for grandmothers or autistic children, for example.”
Definitely a joke – the Linux for Grandma article is classic. I have a question thought for further debate: is “bleek” male or female? Discuss.
Is this not a joke? He wrote :
“For me, clearly, no. When I consider that a good deal of my time is spent running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware–none of which are available for the Mac platform–it doesn’t make sense for me to “switch” to a Mac at this time. “
It’s second degree humour. If they understand that, I think that PC users will be angry!
I cannot believe that anyone thinks this is seriousI
It is SATIRE. Tongue in cheek.
I’m Dutch and I can see it a mile off.
It’s actually very funny and well done because it parodies the real tech review sites.
It’s a Joke. Laugh!
Funny stuff. Not ‘Faulty Towers’ funny, but close.
Especially hilarious is the comment regarding picking up an eMachine at the gas station with a bag of chips – for half the price!
Also cute is the ‘confusion’ he has, thinking that the mini weighs what was marketed as the iPod shuffle’s weight.
Read this again folks, ‘cuz “It’s a parody of PC-users’ ignorance about Macs.” [Viridian]
Wow, kick me when Im down. I fell for it. i even wrote an email. Do I feel like a mule. I was so perfectly moronic that I couldnt help myself. Hook, line….Maybe I thought he was channeling Paul Thurrot or something
I stand by my comment that if it is a joke then it is not a very good one, as someone else said, it is way too subtle. Good satire should be more outrageous.
The best satire is always the most subtle. Some people need dick and fart jokes to understand something has comedic intent. Other, more sophisticated people can easily sniff out the subtle jabs the author takes at PCs in what appears to otherwise be an anti-mini article.
Good satire makes clueless people think it’s genuine, so I like this little weeding out process we’ve had here.
Man, it’s sad when so many people can’t read satire without seeing the humor. I truly feel sorry for them.
I love some of the other articles on that site, great stuff!
my neighbor drives a yellow car
Subtle satire and complete morons often sound the same, and there are plentty of both to go around. Ive heard enough truely idiotic statement from clueless Win-droids that sometimes real satire get lost in the mix. Really, tell me you dont think their are people out there who think all this stuff? If I saw it at the Onion I would have caught on.
This article is brilliant, if apparently too subtle for some readers, satire. Just as it was lost on many Mac proponents here, it will most certainly be lost on many Windrones who usually need to be clubbed over the heads like baby seals in order for them to understand something.
The magic word for this post is “start”, as in start working on those reading comprehension skills…
Funny, but I’m quite certain that there are would-be Mac mini customers who would change their minds after reading an article like this. The majority of the computer buying public is so clueless that sarcasm like this would most definitely go right over their heads. Then again, I’m not so sure I want people like that coming to the party anyway.
The really funny part is, it isn’t really all that far from being your typical Thurrott article!
Before it appeared here, I sent the author an email cogratulating them on this brilliantly-written flame-bait. It is hard to tell if they seriously believe this or not. The author is an MCSE like that means anything.
I think this is sarcasm at its most confusing. Those that don’t know any better will certainly think ill of Mancintosh and the mini after reading this. The author even confuses marketing for the shuffle with the mini.
Those that know better are just confused. This could have been the author’s goal, just stirring up the ants because they are sick of the state of computing today and find it fun to jab at the wound.
I can’t believe we’re still getting posts from (Dan) that think that this article could possibly be real. Read the other articles. (Try In the age of SUVs, should small cars still be allowed on the road? ) For those of you that think that it still does harm, I doubt that many people read the site anyway, except one’s that know it is satire and, now, mac-users.
I don’t understand why some of you have to berate those that didn’t see the sarcasm in this article. Is it your need to feel superior to the other Mac fans here? If your life is so truly empty, shallow, and insecure that you have to find solace in the fact that you can point out the sarcasm only after fifty other people already mention it?
The article had hurmorous parts, but it was hardly brilliant. Just copy and paste from some of the analysts out there and you’ve got yourself an article identical to this.
Dantes, OMG, and Jeff, the fact that many people actually believe in the things that were joked about in the article makes it less than obvious satire. No need to belittle those that have come to expect ignorant reviews. Laugh to yourself about the funny article, perhaps post a comment about how funny it was, but leave out the insults.
THIS IS WHAT I WROTE TO THE AUTHOR (Jorge Something):
re: Mac Mini: The Emperor’s New Computer (http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/MacMini2.html)
Excellent article! Quite funny! Although I think a lot of people just didn’t get it (see: the Comments @ MacDailyNews – http://macdailynews.com/index.php/weblog/comments/4909/).
Man, people even called you an ignorant buffoon! and that you have an IQ of 50!
No wonder, a lot of people refer to us Mac users as Zealots, and so much for that research or poll that found out that statistically Mac users are more intelligent than PC users. But then again, a lot of MacDailyNews readers (where they found out about your article) doesn’t have english as their prima lingua (like myself) so, I guess it’s a bit difficult to get sarcasm-purpose of the article.
I can only laugh when imagining how Windows users must feel when they read this article.
Anyway, just wanted to say that I really liked both of the only 2 pieces I have read from your website: this one and Building a Linux System for GrandMa.
Cheers!
FEF
That was on the “bleeding edge” of satire…
What I really want to know is Does it really not go “donnnnnnnggggg” when you start up? does it have no internal speaker?
Also, maybe they should make a special “Law & Order” MacMini version that goes “doink, doink” when it starts up… :0
Don’t underestimate Windows users idiocy. I sent the article to someone I know who is a die hard Windows apologist. He even gobbled up Bill Gates spin on the fact that Windows attacks and viruses are a sign of quality: “they attack Windows because it is the best: what fun to hit second rate. You want to confront with the Champ” That kind of idiocy.
Well, he believed the article was real. His reply was “See, Apple blew it again. They will never learn and they will disappear as soon as people will finally realize that their solutions do not work in the real world”
ROFLMAO
I wonder when I have to reveal it is a satiric piece on Windows users idiocy.