“Whatever Steve Jobs unveils at next week’s Macworld powwow in San Francisco, it had better be spectacular. For Jobs, the CEO of Apple and high priest of the computer maker’s bizarre cult, his company’s soaring stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” Brett Arends writes for The Boston Herald. “It’s a blessing because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly rich. It’s a curse because he has to keep beating expectations and those are getting pretty high.”
“What’s next? Herald technology columnist Eric Convey has already suggested it may be a home media computer. Rich Cervone of Putnam Investors Fund expects to see a combined iPod and Apple-PDA sooner or later. Last month, I roguishly suggested Apple buy Palm with precisely that in mind,” Arends writes. “But some analysts are merely predicting a new iPod Shuffle, perhaps with a screen, or maybe one of the new Macs to run on Intel chips. Apple shareholders had better hope the grand wizard pulls something better out of his hat next week than that.”
Full article here.
Thanks to Mr. Arends for providing the perfect opportunity to post this timely reminder: Mac cultists, the annual bizarre cult of Apple indoctrination will be held in San Francisco, January 9-13. Don’t miss your chance to hear High Priest Jobs speak live starting on January 10th at 9am PST. Following the powwow, being properly bathed in His RDF, we’ll all hop into the vans and go door to door selling iTunes Gift Cards and soliciting Windows to Mac switchers. As usual, the Kool-aid reception is planned for later that evening – all are welcome. Don’t forget your robes!
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Related articles:
Boston Herald writer: I earned a fatwa from ‘Appleheads’ over idea that Apple should buy Palm – December 23, 2005
Confused Boston Herald writer: Apple should buy Palm because iPods are not invincible – December 19, 2005
Newsday writer: ‘Apple iSight is the natural choice for Mac cultists’ – December 13, 2005
Jobs is so my God
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Bah…
Who need’s Koolaid when there’s a direct connection to the RDF?
Jobs isn’t just a high priest, he’s Satan himself. To get to God, you have to go through Jobs. fact.
It’s hard to lose at the game you created.
Local Leader Steve J commands all Mac users to attend the Keynote via internetwork contextual interface on this coming Earth Tuesday. At the appointed time you will be instructed as to your subsequent actions through co-quasimodulated flexsphere dynowave. Windows users stand no chance. Relnackian Grand Master and Supreme Leader Steve J will unveil the next segment of his technology sector domination and subjugation puzzle.
And there will be pie.
I would bow to him…
Running Intel chips instead of G4s?
I think his standards are higher than mine. I’d be VERY happy with that! Anything else is just bizarre rumors. THAT is the big news… assuming it’s not all rumor too. I think Intel Macs really are coming now. (Starting to anyway.)
P S great MDN take. LMAO
“It’s hard to lose at the game you created.”
Hahahaaa…. I love that!!
Here’s the text version. Site is a mess.
http://business.bostonherald.com/businessNews/view.bg?articleid=120123&format=text
This writer is a fscktard but he is getting worse because of the mountain of hateful email he got from the Mac community.
Trust me, they could unveil new iPod socks and frickin sky wouldn’t start falling.
Bozo writes: “Whatever Steve Jobs unveils at next week’s Macworld powwow in San Francisco, it had better be spectacular”
How about a computer OS immune to viruses, has all the features (and so much more) of the forthcoming Windoze hasta la Vista baby, and never crashes? Would that be spectacular enough for this bozo? Hey, wait, its already been done!
Cult, indeed; this idiot can’t recognize a bona fide religion when he sees it! Harrumph!
Mac-faithful remember to be nice!
Funny he gets criticised because he foolishly claimed that Apple should buy Palm despite all the very good reasons for them not doing so and in his rather warped mind this simply makes him a coooool rebel figure.
… and this guy calls Mac fans a bizzare cult, pots black and kettles come to mind methinks, all mixed up with a substantial pile of cow droppings.
The most scary thing is of course that increasingly, anyone who doesn’t conform to the percieved norm is somehow weird minority and inherently representative of some strange even dangerous cult, beats having to actually think about what you say I guess. It never seems to dawn on these infantile commentators that perhaps it is they (or those they represent) who are held in a strange un-questioning cult of servitude. Hey everyone is doing it so it must be right. You know I think I am beginning to really understand what happened in Germany in the thirties.
..and you are the financial writer for who? The Boston Herald?
There are beginnings, and there Arends
Damn it! My cerimonial robes are still soiled with Koolaid and the blood of virgins from last year’s festivities. The cleaners always look at me funny when I bring them in.
Kelnar-What kind of pie??
Jobs the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Microsoft supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
I like how he just breezes over “or maybe one of the new Macs to run on Intel chips” and then says they better come out with something better than that. If Steve brings out a new Macs running on Intel, he has already beat expectations – What’s this guy expecting a 50″ Apple branded Plasma with ViiV technology
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If a sparkly new intel show up that would be great, a new mini with with ViiV – Awsome! But what Apple realy needs is advertising, if we don’t get advertising by June (SJ anounced deadline) I think something is up. I hope he is not just playing with AAPL stock.
THE WORLD NEEDS MACS STEVE !!
Magic Word, example. As in give em one.
All are welcome, all are welcome, step into the light….
I would think that the “cult” is the one that is able to indoctrinate people into using an obviously inferior product, one that requires constant attention and distracts the user from their personal tasks, when a much better and easier product is available.
Unless the world’s population is merely lemming-minded idiots, it doesn’t require a cult for people to choose a superior product. Hmmm… maybe Apple does need to be a cult.
“his company’s soaring stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” ………. “It’s a blessing because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly rich”
AND EVERYONE WHO OWNS THE STOCK!!! of course
But some analysts are merely predicting a new iPod Shuffle, perhaps with a screen
—
LMFAO!!!!
Yeah.. that’s it.. new shuffle.. everyone go home
fscking morons…
oh yeah.. a screen.. that would be ingenious.. we’re gonna call it.. ipod nano..
OMIGOD.. what does it take to be an analyst.. lmfao
Windows users are so cheap…
Had a guy try to con me by being interested in Mac’s, said he was tired of Windows, pop ups and malware that he can no longer use his machine anymore.
He said he had $2000 to spend on a Mac, I suggested a iMac G5 and invited him to take a look at one I had at home setting it up for a friend.
He said he’ll meet me at 12 noon tommorrow and bring his PC for me to fix.
Nice try.
“[Realnetworks plummeting] stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” ………. “It’s a [curse] because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly [poor]. It’s a [blessing] because he [doesn’t have] to keep beating expectations and those are getting pretty [low].””
What a stupid attempt at irony.
Yeah.. poor Jobs.. his company’s share price is high and getting higher.. let’s remind ourselves that it’s also a curse.
Pffft.. what a tool.. the point of the stock market is to asses the ‘market value’ of a company.. so obviously the stock price last week wasn’t a FLUKE.. and it’s not likely to change drastically ever!
In other words.. there is nothing the company can do to drastically change stock price.. the most it can expect is about a 10% increase or decrease in a month…
Mr. Arends is not a tech writer. Do not give him hits, as obviously he is just fishing with controversy as his bait. He is not providing his reader(s) with any useful information. It appears to me the guy is just upset that the accuracy of his last article (or lack thereof) was questioned. Now his defense mechanism causes him to engage in name calling; exactly what he decried in his “Fatwa” follow up article.
Classic case of character assassination when one cannot debate critics with facts.
“And by the way……. I don’t like your hair!”
uh… remember, this is the Boston Herald, not the Boston Globe. The Herald is a fringe right-wing tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. I’d hardly put too much stock in it. I’d feel just as unfazed if the NY Post was dissing Mr. Jobs.
Careful people. What if on Tuesday Jobs buries us all in volcanoes and sets off atomic bombs? Then our spirits will have to roam the Earth for millions of years before someone nice comes along to help the poor infected future souls rid themselves of us.
I’m actually not bothered what happens on Tuesday. Does this mean I’m beginning to doubt the True Path, or just that I’m happy with my new iMac?
“Whatever Steve Jobs unveils at next week’s Macworld powwow in San Francisco, it had better be spectacular.”
Why? Unlike MS, Apple has pre-announced absolutely NOTHING. The rumor mill and the analysts are creating their own expectations.
“Apple shareholders had better hope the grand wizard pulls something better out of his hat next week than that.”
Again, why? As an Apple shareholder I’d be very delighted if Steve rocks the world (again). But even if it’s a ho-hum keynote with minor announcements I’d be pleased too. At least Steve announces what Apple has ready, not Vista-like dreams of what Apple hopes to have a year from now.
I believe that if all Steve announces was an iPod Shuffle with a screen (and that be it) that is still ONE more thing over what Billy Goat, er Gates announced earlier this week!
Let me go on to revise my above statement: if Steve announced a new stinkless fart, it would still be miles ahead of Billy Bob and MonkeyBoy and anything they announced.
What did they announce? I mean, really?!! What the hell did they announce?
Sounds like the sound of chirping crickets to me.
My Mac crashed last week and my PC runs fine
Shouldn’t we all be wearing Turtlenecks instead of robes?!?!?!
After all the angst shown by the collective of conspiring CEOs at the electronics conference this past week, we have been given a definition of spectacular, of what to expect of Steve Jobs this coming Tuesday.
All Steve Jobs has to do to be spectacular on Tuesday is to simply show up and say, as he walks onto the stage, “Hello!” There won’t be an unfixed or blind eye within the convention center at that moment. And elsewhere, there will be nervous CEOs awaiting Steve’s words, all of them filled with anguish over how to reply given the glimmer of what’s to come within some very important marketing sectors. The creation of just this setting alone is spectacular. Should Steve simply point the way to a series of nominal steps to be taken, he will at least generate sighs of relief for the vision of a more secure business future.
Its about far more than Steve’s business and his future. Such a performance for any person is simply and sufficiently spectacular.
Well, I believe that the Mac will be the same thing only with an intel CPU inside. Or will Seagate, ATI, NVIDIA and TOSHIBA make a parts for Apple with magic pixey dust?
It’s time for us Mac cultists to bring our fury to those wicked Windows fascists once and for all
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Jobs isn’t just a high priest, he’s Satan himself.
How is Steve Jobs Satan when Steve Ballmer is already Satan? Can you have more than one Satan??
Mike Buonarroti: “Unless the world’s population is merely lemming-minded idiots…”
Unless???
Before the big unveiling, in a secret room, lit only by the light from a dozen heavily customized 20″ iMac screensavers……
First, we have our way with a bevy of beautiful young virgins (for non-disclosure and blackmail security purposes, it’s all preserved using iSite cameras).
Next, SJ gives a personal critique of each performance.
Finally, his Steveness grants permission for all taking part to exit into the keynote hall for the unveiling of the grail. One by one the zombie-like Mac-o-phites dress in ceromonial blue jeans and black shirts.
Once they are properly garbed they move toward the exit of the secret room. At the end of a long dark tunnel lies the entrance of the viewing hall. Each must pass the master for a blessing. As they approach, the heartless lord of the Mac allows them to either move into the tunnel, or else, he right clicks a prototype 2-button wireless mouse which opens a trapdoor that feeds under-performers into a den of starving lions.
Non shall pass!
Mac Baloo
Hello? It’s time to upgrade from 7.5 you know.
Whatever Jobs anounces next week will be better than anything Gates anounces (if at all) this year. We know that.
And one thing about the Mac community – every time Apple gets some good press, we’re like “Oh, wow, the world is waking up to the truth!”.
Don’t you get it folks, most big wigs in the industry already know OSX is superior and Apple’s products are better. They know the Apple way is the better way. Don’t you think their PC’s crash all the time? Sure they do.
But here is where we need to understand the $$$ factor.
The abandoning of Win is not an easy or even possible option at this point. So may compnaies and industries are alreday in bed with MS. Do you think there’s an easy way out? You’re talking here tens of thousands of companies and billions of dollards invested in product and training.
So even if the CEO’s know what’s the truly superior OS and way of computing (read Apple), they can’t just turn around the scrap it all in a day. I did 2 years ago. After 10 years of Windows computing, one day I had it. I went to the nearest Apple Store, bought a PowerBook G4 and have never looked back. Today I have 3 Macs (all hail the Quad
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But it’s not so easy with big companies.
The only way for this to change is for the supply and demand principle to kick in, just like it did for the iPod. And don’t forget, that took some time, too.
So what Apple needs to do is frickin FLOOD us with ads showing people the link between the iPod and OSX until people get it.
I’m so mad Apple isn’t advertising OSX and their other product as aggressively as they SHOULD.
Are you listneing Apple?
This guy is YOUR CREATION MDN! Congratulations, you’ve turned a writer permanently to the dark side along with this community of haters who ripped into him with unnecessary spite and emotional verve. Extremists, in any cause, only serve to polorize and in the end hurt the cause they hold onto so dearly.
Better Jobs a brilliant cult leader than Gates a High Priest of the “Church of Malware and Pathetic Incompetence”.
I feel sorry for this rube and the attention he’s gotten from MDN.
Bozo
“The dwindling Boston Herald subscribers had better hope this grand author pulls something better out of his hat next week than this flaming pile of shiite.”
he’ll have to say this next year, the year after and ad infinitum… he’s just hopefull that jobs fails which of course he won’t (and will make arends look silly).
pathetic attempt to hit back at a company and a product that he should consider using, not pulling down..
The dork who wrote this article wants USB ports on his riding his lawnmower.
It’s also been rumored that he reads Consumer Reports and follows their advice!
This was the same guy who suggested Apple buy Palm. Arrends opinion is null and void as far as I’m concerned.
Arends calls us “bizarre” because he doesn’t understand anything Apple, and he’s pssted that we called him on it.
Now maybe the stock market investors who recently jumped on the bandwagon won’t understand and jump off, causing the stock to fall 10% or more. But our Apple cult fully understands that Apple has many more exciting products in the pipeline for both the iPod and Mac, and if Apple doesn’t introduce it on Tuesday, then we can certainly wait until SJ thinks it is ready for us.
Of course, I think SJ will beat our most likely expectations. I expect, in order of appearance,
1. new smaller 1GB iPod shuffle following recap of iPod and iTunes music market share,
2. new iTMS TV show deals following recap of iTunes video sales,
3. iLife ’06 with Front Row 2.0 and another new app in it,
4. iWork ’06 with a spreadsheet and light database (and the end of AppleWorks),
5. Mac OS 10.4.4 following recap of number of Tiger users, plus real brief sneak peak of Leopard, with promise of Leopard preview at WWDC
6. new 1.5/1.66 GHz Core Duo iBook with FrontRow 2.0,
7. new 1.5/1.66 GHz Core Duo Mac mini with FrontRow 2.0,
and the one more thing,
8. new iTMS movie deal tied to broadband access (and possibly tied into .Mac subscription)
Unlikely but possible:
9. new Apple flat-screen TV (Demo would show hook up Mac mini to Apple TV, hook up router or cable modem to Mac mini, start up Front Row, and voila! iTMS TV and movies)
10. new Bluetooth based remote control
11. new Airport Ultra, and Airport Ultra Base Station (not sure Apple will choose between the dueling UWB standards – Freescale UWB is ready but MBOA/Intel is not really ready)
12. announce new 1.83 and 2.0 GHz Core Duo Powerbooks for delivery end of Feb (so Apple has just two powerful product lines – G5 iMac/PowerMac, and Core Duo Mac mini/iBook/Powerbook)
Kinda funny seeing an MS fanboy whine about whether Apple will grow enough or not when they’ve been consistently doing better than just about anyone else however you want to measure it. They’ve got a strong product line with more great things clearly on the way. We’ll likely see some of those at MacWorld. I expect that products with Blu-ray drives will come later (WWDC in May?) since the media folks have taken some time to finalize the firmware details. It’s clear that many new things are coming, they don’t all have to arrive this week…
Apple’s stock certainly has done well. Amazing curve… Value is about 11 times what it was in the months following the 9/11 attacks. While other companies went into cost cutting mode then, Apple kept working at innovating. Gateway closed all of their stores in Europe. MS stock has mostly zig-zagged back and forth a few dollars. Those buying product have fared even worse with MS than those buying stock. The bugs and vulnerabilities have taken XP owners on a long costly and painful ride. But as usual instead of replacing a defective product for free, MS is focused on new copy-cat features for an expensive upgrade instead.
I think that the release of Vista will give Windows users a good time to consider switching. With past upgrades not delivering the promised security, many will probably consider it foolish to trust them again. For most Apple was already cheaper (especially after allowing for Windows pain/suffering/disinfection/support costs), and with a proven OS on more competitive than ever hardware switching is a safer (not to mention more elegant) choice. And on the coming Intel hardware, one could likely still run Windows if feeling some masochistic need.
Apples’ market share of computers, OS, music players, and music sales is growing. And video looks like it is about to take off.
MS is losing ground to the Mac and Linux OSes, and the free Open Office software. They’re big and profitable, but the stock is stagnating. They’ve got one big growth area. 190,000 pieces of malware and climbing.
Most of what they’ve announced for Vista is copying features Mac users have had for a while, and Vista isn’t even here yet. Another user put it pretty well, Windows updates are a lot like putting more frosting on rotting food. The flies and maggots will just keep coming.
They really need to start over.
What does Brett mean we’re cultists? He has slandered those with vision and free thought, whose minds are not clouded by falsehoods and hyperbole from The One who who sells evil goods. Brett must be smitten by cutting off his fingers (the ones that write these falsehoods) and be BURNED AT THE STAKE!!
OK, after me: Oooga booga, ooga booga, ooga booga.
It’ll be interesting to see whether the advent of Macs on Intel brings an increase in tv advertising for the Mac. The iPod gets plenty of exposure, but the Mac seems like it has had much less. Intel has subsidized the cost of many of those PC ads (they’ve been saying Intel Inside). Now with Apple going to Intel, and Intel getting a new slogan, I think we’ll finally be seeing some long overdue Macs ads. Hopefully Intel will get behind these. I think they’ll be happy to show what their chips can do when not limited by Windows.
There were some great ones a long time ago. I fondly remember when the G3 came out and “smoked” the performance of the Pentium II… highlighted by a Pentium bunny smoking and being put out with a fire extinguisher.
When the G4 came out the ad with the tank circling was pretty cool. The G4 had broken into the performance level that the defense department classified as a supercomputer, making it illegal to sell them to unfriendly countries.
Now CPUs in modern computers are pretty much fast enough for almost anything we normally need, so we’ll likely see ads showing other advantages which is really what was most important all along.
Considering how many PC vendors there are, most of the commercials are pretty boring. About the only memorable ones for me featured the Dell Dude. (I always laughed, thinking I’d sure have to be stoned to buy a Dell)
Some of the Intel ads were well done (blue men etc), but those generally weren’t for any one PC vendor.
Mike – When a PC user pushes for help with an infected Windows box, have them backup any important data then go ahead and format the drive and install Ubuntu. It’s a nice clean Linux distribution. Don’t waste time reinstalling Windows because it’ll just be messed up again in a short time. I’ve been through that tooooo many times. With Ubuntu he’ll be able to surf, rip CD/DVDs, play music and video, chat through instant messages, sent/get mail, burn CD/DVDs, edit pictures, read/create Office compatible docs etc etc all with the FREE included open-source software. Much more is available too.
A Mac is far better of course, with OS X having the power and stability of Linux/Unix and a richer friendlier environment and wonderful software, but at least a fresh install of Ubuntu won’t have him infected again in a few weeks and he’ll be able to do many things quite well to get by until he gets a Mac.
Ubuntu is available for Intel, AMD, and even PPC CPUs. They are install CDs, Live CDs (the kind you can boot and run from – slow but sometimes useful), and a DVD version (has more software included). They have standard and bittorrent downloads, or the CDs can be mailed to those needing them FOR FREE. You can download and burn the disc images on a Mac for him if you like. Your friend can get help online. Probably better not to tell him it is possible to dual boot (switch between Linux and Windows) because the whole idea is to ditch the Windows problems.
Ubuntu Linux info and downloads are available from ubuntulinux.com
It is totally free, no ads or any catch, an open-source community effort.
Source code is available, so anyone with the skill and interest can check the code and make their own changes, even contribute code back to the community. The quality of the code is very good, since it isn’t like some commercial products where they’re constantly rushing out buggy/unfinished “upgrades” just to keep cash coming in. Your friend will probably find he really likes many of the open-source programs on Ubuntu. They can be generally be compiled for the Mac too, many already have been. Better known programs include the Firefox browser, the GIMP image manipulation program, and Open Office (office productivity software).
Just when you think Apple can’t do any better, they do. The next generation of Macs will be more about what they can do (or shall we say what no other computer can do), rather then the Intel chip they have.
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Better Jobs than Gates, like the rest of the world! At least we’re the cult of thinking different.
MDN is run by either communists of republicans.
Prudes.
MDN is run by either communists OR republicans.
Prudes!