“Whatever Steve Jobs unveils at next week’s Macworld powwow in San Francisco, it had better be spectacular. For Jobs, the CEO of Apple and high priest of the computer maker’s bizarre cult, his company’s soaring stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” Brett Arends writes for The Boston Herald. “It’s a blessing because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly rich. It’s a curse because he has to keep beating expectations and those are getting pretty high.”
“What’s next? Herald technology columnist Eric Convey has already suggested it may be a home media computer. Rich Cervone of Putnam Investors Fund expects to see a combined iPod and Apple-PDA sooner or later. Last month, I roguishly suggested Apple buy Palm with precisely that in mind,” Arends writes. “But some analysts are merely predicting a new iPod Shuffle, perhaps with a screen, or maybe one of the new Macs to run on Intel chips. Apple shareholders had better hope the grand wizard pulls something better out of his hat next week than that.”
Full article here.
Thanks to Mr. Arends for providing the perfect opportunity to post this timely reminder: Mac cultists, the annual bizarre cult of Apple indoctrination will be held in San Francisco, January 9-13. Don’t miss your chance to hear High Priest Jobs speak live starting on January 10th at 9am PST. Following the powwow, being properly bathed in His RDF, we’ll all hop into the vans and go door to door selling iTunes Gift Cards and soliciting Windows to Mac switchers. As usual, the Kool-aid reception is planned for later that evening – all are welcome. Don’t forget your robes!
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Related articles:
Boston Herald writer: I earned a fatwa from ‘Appleheads’ over idea that Apple should buy Palm – December 23, 2005
Confused Boston Herald writer: Apple should buy Palm because iPods are not invincible – December 19, 2005
Newsday writer: ‘Apple iSight is the natural choice for Mac cultists’ – December 13, 2005
Jobs is so my God
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Bah…
Who need’s Koolaid when there’s a direct connection to the RDF?
Jobs isn’t just a high priest, he’s Satan himself. To get to God, you have to go through Jobs. fact.
It’s hard to lose at the game you created.
Local Leader Steve J commands all Mac users to attend the Keynote via internetwork contextual interface on this coming Earth Tuesday. At the appointed time you will be instructed as to your subsequent actions through co-quasimodulated flexsphere dynowave. Windows users stand no chance. Relnackian Grand Master and Supreme Leader Steve J will unveil the next segment of his technology sector domination and subjugation puzzle.
And there will be pie.
I would bow to him…
Running Intel chips instead of G4s?
I think his standards are higher than mine. I’d be VERY happy with that! Anything else is just bizarre rumors. THAT is the big news… assuming it’s not all rumor too. I think Intel Macs really are coming now. (Starting to anyway.)
P S great MDN take. LMAO
“It’s hard to lose at the game you created.”
Hahahaaa…. I love that!!
Here’s the text version. Site is a mess.
http://business.bostonherald.com/businessNews/view.bg?articleid=120123&format=text
This writer is a fscktard but he is getting worse because of the mountain of hateful email he got from the Mac community.
Trust me, they could unveil new iPod socks and frickin sky wouldn’t start falling.
Bozo writes: “Whatever Steve Jobs unveils at next week’s Macworld powwow in San Francisco, it had better be spectacular”
How about a computer OS immune to viruses, has all the features (and so much more) of the forthcoming Windoze hasta la Vista baby, and never crashes? Would that be spectacular enough for this bozo? Hey, wait, its already been done!
Cult, indeed; this idiot can’t recognize a bona fide religion when he sees it! Harrumph!
Mac-faithful remember to be nice!
Funny he gets criticised because he foolishly claimed that Apple should buy Palm despite all the very good reasons for them not doing so and in his rather warped mind this simply makes him a coooool rebel figure.
… and this guy calls Mac fans a bizzare cult, pots black and kettles come to mind methinks, all mixed up with a substantial pile of cow droppings.
The most scary thing is of course that increasingly, anyone who doesn’t conform to the percieved norm is somehow weird minority and inherently representative of some strange even dangerous cult, beats having to actually think about what you say I guess. It never seems to dawn on these infantile commentators that perhaps it is they (or those they represent) who are held in a strange un-questioning cult of servitude. Hey everyone is doing it so it must be right. You know I think I am beginning to really understand what happened in Germany in the thirties.
..and you are the financial writer for who? The Boston Herald?
There are beginnings, and there Arends
Damn it! My cerimonial robes are still soiled with Koolaid and the blood of virgins from last year’s festivities. The cleaners always look at me funny when I bring them in.
Kelnar-What kind of pie??
Jobs the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Microsoft supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
I like how he just breezes over “or maybe one of the new Macs to run on Intel chips” and then says they better come out with something better than that. If Steve brings out a new Macs running on Intel, he has already beat expectations – What’s this guy expecting a 50″ Apple branded Plasma with ViiV technology
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If a sparkly new intel show up that would be great, a new mini with with ViiV – Awsome! But what Apple realy needs is advertising, if we don’t get advertising by June (SJ anounced deadline) I think something is up. I hope he is not just playing with AAPL stock.
THE WORLD NEEDS MACS STEVE !!
Magic Word, example. As in give em one.
All are welcome, all are welcome, step into the light….
I would think that the “cult” is the one that is able to indoctrinate people into using an obviously inferior product, one that requires constant attention and distracts the user from their personal tasks, when a much better and easier product is available.
Unless the world’s population is merely lemming-minded idiots, it doesn’t require a cult for people to choose a superior product. Hmmm… maybe Apple does need to be a cult.
“his company’s soaring stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” ………. “It’s a blessing because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly rich”
AND EVERYONE WHO OWNS THE STOCK!!! of course
But some analysts are merely predicting a new iPod Shuffle, perhaps with a screen
—
LMFAO!!!!
Yeah.. that’s it.. new shuffle.. everyone go home
fscking morons…
oh yeah.. a screen.. that would be ingenious.. we’re gonna call it.. ipod nano..
OMIGOD.. what does it take to be an analyst.. lmfao
Windows users are so cheap…
Had a guy try to con me by being interested in Mac’s, said he was tired of Windows, pop ups and malware that he can no longer use his machine anymore.
He said he had $2000 to spend on a Mac, I suggested a iMac G5 and invited him to take a look at one I had at home setting it up for a friend.
He said he’ll meet me at 12 noon tommorrow and bring his PC for me to fix.
Nice try.
“[Realnetworks plummeting] stock price is both a blessing and a curse,” ………. “It’s a [curse] because it makes him, and everyone who works for him, suddenly astonishingly [poor]. It’s a [blessing] because he [doesn’t have] to keep beating expectations and those are getting pretty [low].””
What a stupid attempt at irony.
Yeah.. poor Jobs.. his company’s share price is high and getting higher.. let’s remind ourselves that it’s also a curse.
Pffft.. what a tool.. the point of the stock market is to asses the ‘market value’ of a company.. so obviously the stock price last week wasn’t a FLUKE.. and it’s not likely to change drastically ever!
In other words.. there is nothing the company can do to drastically change stock price.. the most it can expect is about a 10% increase or decrease in a month…
Mr. Arends is not a tech writer. Do not give him hits, as obviously he is just fishing with controversy as his bait. He is not providing his reader(s) with any useful information. It appears to me the guy is just upset that the accuracy of his last article (or lack thereof) was questioned. Now his defense mechanism causes him to engage in name calling; exactly what he decried in his “Fatwa” follow up article.
Classic case of character assassination when one cannot debate critics with facts.
“And by the way……. I don’t like your hair!”