Ballmer bids tearful farewell to Microsoft employees, promises it will ‘deliver the next big thing’

“Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer bid farewell to employees [yesterday] at his final company meeting as CEO,” Tom Warren reports for The Verge.

“At one point during the meeting, Ballmer chose to play the song he used back at his first company meeting in 1983: Michael Jackson’s ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.’ He then proceeded to jump and dance around the stage screaming at the top of his voice ‘the sound of Microsoft!'” Warren reports. “fter the song ended, an emotional Ballmer paused to ‘enjoy this for a minute,’ with tears visibly streaming down his face. ‘You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.'”

Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

MacDailyNews Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”

“The greatest company in the world… for sowing rampant frustration within anyone suffering with their products, for creating backstabbing workplace politicians, and for deeply offending those with even a modicum of good taste.

Warren reports, “According to sources familiar with the meeting, Ballmer told employees ‘we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.'”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Microsoft changed the world once, for the worse, by knocking off Apple’s Mac OS, taking advantage of a poorly-written contract, and then plunging the globe into The Dark Age of Personal Computing. Thanks to yet another Apple Renaissance, it’s finally ending, you big dumb monkey.

Microsoft short-timer Steve Ballmer
Microsoft short-timer Steve Ballmer

 
Do not “change the world again,” Microsoft. Newsflash: You suck. Your company is beleaguered. That’s why your board of somnambulant morons are now searching for someone stupid enough to be your next CEO and why nobody with at least half a brain is buying your crap anymore.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]

79 Comments

  1. One can agree with the MDN take only up to a limit. The horrid Windows 8 is installed on more machines than ALL versions of Mac OS X combined. Until that changes, there’s not much point in gloating about how superior Apple is. It will take still more continued effort on Apple’s part to displace this blight on computing. As everyone already knows, I am extremely impatient at Cook’s slow pace in accomplishing this goal. OS X needs more attention instead of continually robbing resources to push the much more highly restricted iOS consumer-grade mobile OS which has been ruined by iAds.

  2. Perhaps his odd behaviours throughout the years were part of an act and maybe he is sane but I wonder if he will now be seen as perhaps suffering from some sort of psychosis? He is no longer shielded by his power and his position within the MS corporation. He certainly comes across as being divorced from reality.

  3. For any oldsters reading this, if you want a good laugh, google [uncle fester adams family] and selected Images. The similarity between Balmer and Uncle Fester from the 1960’s Adams Family is uncanny.

  4. i still ‘barely’ remember the story of quicktime code theft involving a san francisco contractor named coyote or something like that where ms got them, clandestinely, to share the qt code. i’m probably 0.5% on remembering this but i do remember being appalled that a major major american company would stoop to the level of petty thievery. at the time, to me, i regarded it as disgraceful to the point of being painful. i hope someone will be kind enough to make whole my pathetic recollection.

    1. Take a look at these kinds of Articles where the very people developing Windows 1, 2 on up said they never ever took or used Apple API/Code to develop Windows. Now get to the comments and see another Windows Original guys call out this author for his accuracy with his true involvement of Windows itself. This guy wasn’t even at the Engineering/Code level and he expertly denies any Apple wrong doing! This is the kind of crap that perpetuates and haters pull out of their ass to prove MS did no such thing to Apple!

      http://technologizer.com/2010/03/08/the-secret-origin-of-windows/

  5. Not that we Mac users have a strong opinion, Stevie B. Is Microsoft different from a gang, a mafia, OPEC? But don’t blame Microsoft. Blame the buyers who were far more interested in something other than quality. Stupid CEO’s made Microsoft. Balmer just supplied them with the “shit” they asked for.

    1. The comments at the source article are creepy hilarious. I read them and think of sheep enthusiastic to leap into the abattoir. I don’t want to watch.

      But there are a few insightful posts as well:

      All the same, Microsoft could definitely use someone with vision.

      Ya think?

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