Ballmer bids tearful farewell to Microsoft employees, promises it will ‘deliver the next big thing’

“Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer bid farewell to employees [yesterday] at his final company meeting as CEO,” Tom Warren reports for The Verge.

“At one point during the meeting, Ballmer chose to play the song he used back at his first company meeting in 1983: Michael Jackson’s ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.’ He then proceeded to jump and dance around the stage screaming at the top of his voice ‘the sound of Microsoft!'” Warren reports. “fter the song ended, an emotional Ballmer paused to ‘enjoy this for a minute,’ with tears visibly streaming down his face. ‘You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.'”

Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

MacDailyNews Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”

“The greatest company in the world… for sowing rampant frustration within anyone suffering with their products, for creating backstabbing workplace politicians, and for deeply offending those with even a modicum of good taste.

Warren reports, “According to sources familiar with the meeting, Ballmer told employees ‘we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.'”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Microsoft changed the world once, for the worse, by knocking off Apple’s Mac OS, taking advantage of a poorly-written contract, and then plunging the globe into The Dark Age of Personal Computing. Thanks to yet another Apple Renaissance, it’s finally ending, you big dumb monkey.

Microsoft short-timer Steve Ballmer
Microsoft short-timer Steve Ballmer

 
Do not “change the world again,” Microsoft. Newsflash: You suck. Your company is beleaguered. That’s why your board of somnambulant morons are now searching for someone stupid enough to be your next CEO and why nobody with at least half a brain is buying your crap anymore.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]

79 Comments

    1. The funniest quote from his speech
      He also took a swipe at rivals, declaring that Apple is about being “fashionable,” Amazon.com is about being “cheap,” Google is about “knowing more,” but Microsoft is about “doing more.”

      This must mean Microsoft needs to be unfashionable, expensive and stupid. Sounds about right.

      1. If you follow the link to the full article, you will be flabbergasted by some of the comments. Some people actually believe that Ballmer was a great and visionary CEO…visionary “in spades.”

        I want to see the “Sound of Microsoft” video. Post it!

        1. I too read all those amazing praise Ballmer comments, and just though it was astounding. If they were not paid comments, I wondered what rock these people have been living under in Redmond. It also makes me think that if all that praise is sincere, then even with Ballmer gone there is hope that the downslide will likely continue due to that many delusional people still being employed there.

    2. The entire PC industry is set as low cost marginal equipment. The dominate hardware mfg’s inevitably became low budget operations. R&D all squeezed along the way. That’s why their early entries into phones and tablets were colossal failures. Everyone thought it had to be cheap, and thus the products were cheaply made, poorly thought out, and not made appealing to customers in any way. Everything windows had to be high volumes low margins. How could you charge more for a little phone that worked the same way as a net book at a higher price than a net book?

    3. Ballmer is a weird and uncomfortable clown. He will be duly missed as such.
      He well may blow that (well earned) severance package on bacon rinds and jet-skis.
      And Mr. Ballmer, there is still time to get that Zune tramp-stamp you’ve been dreaming about before leaving Microsoft … that will motivate your hired army.

    1. You are right… the word was in a year.
      I guess a misunderstanding “Within this year”
      … bye bye Ballmie.

      Another Blackberry Rim or Dell?
      Sure smells like it… is Microsoft; another Apple road kill?

      Should be interesting.

  1. “You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.’”
    No Steve, I’m sorry but you have to SOAK THE FACTS vs your delusions:
    According to Forbes, you are in #86 and apple is #5 innovative company in the world.
    At the time you said that, Apple is the most valuable company in the world and your company is some where in the 5th place.
    Apple is the 9th most profitable company in the world while your company does not make it to the top 20.
    by Revenue, apple is #20 and your company is no where to be found even at the 60 place.
    So.. In which are do you “believe” you work at the greatest company in the world?

  2. What a touching moment I’m sure watching monkey boy dance must have brought the crowd to it’s knees. I bet there wasn’t a dry eye in the house and lips that weren’t puckered.

    I can’t speak for others but I was worried in the back of my mind about the future, but hearing Ballmer say “we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.” is such a comfort, as it pretty well guarantees that Microsoft will never deliver on the next best thing and will never change the world again, thank goodness, the world doesn’t need another dark age.

    I sure hope he is involved with the CEO selection process.

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