Charles Krauthammer: Apple has the cash to buy Cyprus and rename it iCyprus (with video)

“Syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer had an interesting observation about the just-announced bailout plan of the financially troubled island of Cyprus,” Noel Sheppard reports for NewsBusters.

What’s amazing here I think is how small Cyprus is and how relatively small the problem is. The bailout total that you mentioned is about a quarter of Apple’s cash on hand. I mean, this is one country that Apple could purchase, and have a lot left. It could own the island and call it, you know, iCyprus or something, and have all this cash left over… It would be a great campus for Apple. – Charles Krauthammer

Full article here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]


  1. I wish people would stop worrying about what Apple does with Apple’s money, especially in relation to something as ludicrous as Cypriot economics.

    All Apple really needs to do is remember who’s been faithful since 1984 through thick and thin and send us few bucks.

  2. That would be too funny. Apple would have its own banks, set up its own manufacturing, basically run the entire island on iOS and OS X. First the Mothership, then Fantasy iSland!

    1. HAHAHA. Samsung would then make its copycat move buying the nearby island of Crete off heavily indebted Greece. They could then start the WMD buildup so they can literally go thermonuclear on each other.

    1. Most people in the media are liberals, and liberals think they know how to spend EVERYONE’s money better than they do. Why should Apple be any different?

      1. If the old meme about the liberal media were true…The MSM has become more concentrated and corporate over the last 30 years and become much more Right Wing despite the paranoia of the neoCONs.

        1. First of all, you have to understand that if you consider the MSM to be moderate and you are a liberal, then you have no basis for understanding why the right thinks so, because you see it as ‘normal’ instead of for what it is.

            1. Wow. Thanks for proving my point. Only a lib blind to reality could possibly make an argument as childish as that.

              More like ‘marvin devolved’.

              And BTW, NeoCons are moderates, usually Conservative Democrats who changed over to Republicans. Hence the ‘neo’ moniker.

              But wait, I’m sure your worldly intellect already knew this…..

            2. That is not the source of the NeoCon marker. I was there for the revolution, working with College Republicans for Reagan in 1980. My bad.

              Funny thing about the Cons is that Goldwater and Reagan would be outside the mainstream of today’s GOP.

            3. WTF are you talking about?
              Of course they would be out of the norm, they were Conservatives, not Rockefeller Republicans.

              What does that have to do with most media being liberal?

  3. the primary problem with Cyprus is not their total debt, it’s european banking cartels ransacking and stealing savings and checking directly from private citizens’ accounts..stay tuned for the American version coming soon.

    1. And it’s been the safe haven of Russian mob money. That’s why Putin et al have been so nervous lately…
      And the island is divided between Greeks and Turks with their eternal dispute of boundaries, religion etc.

  4. Ah, but what if Apple were to open its own Bank and issue its own credit cards? Talk about Apple disrupting an industry. And it couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch.

  5. Aaaahhh…. sun, sea, beaches. Yes please.

    Mind you, I don’t know whether Apple could buy the whole island in one hit – let’s not forget Cyprus is split into Greek and Turkish parts.

    On balance then, a nice idea but not including the politics.

  6. This isn’t too far off from reality. Consider what the tax hit would be for Apple to bring the offshore cash back to the United States. At some point, the accountants at Apple will explain to the board that finding an island or part of a country and buying it outright is the lower cost way to get control of the money and never have a federal type of tax again. I have thought about this for some time now and it is the basis for movies like the 1975 movie Rollerball where in a futuristic society, corporations have replaced countries. It was a great movie and the transition from the old bankrupt governments that were swallowed up by companies may have been missed by most viewers.

  7. Please Apple, DON’T buy and island. You all know darn well what can happen when you move a population to an isolated island. Darwin notice this when he did his trip on the Beagle and the rest is history. Ironically some buffoons had the idea to go from one island to another, that about retrograde mutation.

    Don’t buy an island Apple, a continent maybe, unless of course it’s an island.

    1. Exactly. Many post here might be just as tongue in cheek as Dr. Krauthammer’s, but some just seem off-base.

      He was offering an analogy to understand the size of their outstanding debt, not an actual plan to buy it OR the island, or to tell Apple what to do with their money.

      And not to you, mikecaine, but to the OTHER Mike who thinks Charles hasn’t “had an interesting observation in his life” I wonder just how much he know’s about the doctor? His education, his past work for Democrats, his career? No, too much information there….

      And to those that politicized this because it is on Fox, the other two on the panel are Juan Williams and Nina Easton, who confounds me because of what seems to be her liberal education mixed with her marriage to a high profile Republican and her less than Conservative but oh-so-fair observations and comments she makes.

      Now for the rest, the fill-in host was Shannon Bream, a former corporate lawyer and Fox’s Supreme Court anchor, but to most on the left, she is ‘the bubble-headed bleach-blond comes on at 5’
      in their continuing ‘war on women who think for themselves’…..

    1. Yes
      When you ask a pointless question such as that it shows you have no clue what you are talking about.

      Try reading some of his articles to broaden you small horizon.

      And when you refute this, point to an article and why (if you can).

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