Judge Lucy Koh asks Apple’s attorneys if they’re ‘smoking crack’

“Judge Lucy Koh has been going increasingly terse with both Apple and Samsung as the trial continues, and she just let Apple have it after receiving a 75-page briefing,” Bryan Bishop reports for The Verge. “The document covered 22 potential rebuttal witnesses the company might want to call after Samsung finishes presenting its case. Nearly shouting, Koh laid into Apple, asking why it would present such a lengthy document ‘when unless you’re smoking crack you know these witnesses aren’t going to be called!'”

Bishop reports, “Apple attorney William Lee stepped forward, saying “First, your honor, i’m not smoking crack. i can promise you that.” The company’s legal team agreed to pare down the document, with attorney Michael Jacobs claiming that the company didn’t mean to burden the court — and that it truly believed it would be able to run through all of its witnesses in the time it has remaining. Jacobs also pointed out that some of those addressed in the document were Samsung’s witnesses, not Apple’s. As the discussion continued, Koh grew even more frustrated, telling the parties that the conversation would come at the expense of their trial time.”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: This is some judge we’ve got here.

If only human IQs were 10 points higher across the board. God’s cruel joke.

Are we calling a United States District Judge stupid? Why, yes, yes we are.

Related article:
Judge urges Apple and Samsung to settle ahead of verdict – August 15, 2012


    1. All she does all day, every day is bitch about not wanting to be there and telling both sides to hurry so they can stay within the artificial 50 hour limit she put on this. Koh is a laughing stock. Worse than judge Ito…

      1. No, both Apple and Samsung’s attorneys are being ridiculous in what they want to do at trial. 22 rebuttal witnesses, some of which are Samsung witnesses, is completely unnecessary. That’s a pure waste of the court’s time, and the reality of trial is that the jury will be bored to death.

        When the jury is bored, they resent being there day after day. That resentment grows until they stop properly evaluating the evidence and testimony once they get the case and simply want to make a decision so they can go the F home.

        Unfortunately this is a common problem with today’s litigation. Attorneys think that if they cover every little detail, every minutiae so completely, so thoroughly, that there’s no way they can lose. The reality is that the jury is then tasked with sifting through mountains of testimony, documents, and endless droning of pointless questions.

        Apple and Samsung’s attorneys have forgotten that short and sweet can often win the day over long, longer, and most boring.

    1. Right to a speedy trial. Run amok! This paring down of complaints (to appease her honor) plays hugely in Samsung’s favor, since we here on the MDN site (trolls aside) know that what constitutes copying is the total number of little things, not taken individually.

      1. In any case, a speedy trial refers not to the trials duration, but to have a trial start in a resonable time. And all judges, in concert with the lawyers establish a time frame. Else the jury would have to plan on a never ending harangue. Also the next trial on the docate has to plan as well. This is not the stupid congress, they cannot fillibuster for months.

  1. I like judges that take a tough stance on both sides in a case, it keeps attorneys from taking too many liberties which they will if you don’t (look at Samsung). If the judge only went after Samsung, they could argue there was bias on the part of the judge, who has to appear impartial.

    1. totally agree. samsung is making a list, and checking it twice, for declaring bias for apple and filing for a retrial. they have noted day after day items that would be used to prep their case.
      it is funny, though, to see how “experts” in the law responding here, see her as an opponent of clear headed law while pushing their own agenda about politics.

      1. I think she’s making too many “value” judgements with no basis. For example, after all this time, she tells them to have a another discussion to settle because this is going to turn out bad for one of them.

        Really? That’s what they’re THERE for, for it to come out really badly for one of them. 🙂 just get on with the trial so everyone can
        A) create the next great thing that’s not based on Apple’s patents or
        B) continue to copy Apple

        I don’t understand a lot about the process (never even served jury duty) but it seems to me like she has an idea about how she wants it to turn out and she’ll be darned if it comes out any differently.

    1. Obama nominated Lucy Koh who was recommended by California Senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein.

      There’s a disaster waiting to happen if there ever was one. The only thing worse would have been if Maxine Waters, the nation’s first mentally retarded congressperson, had chimed in.

        1. What you are saying is that Unibomber is/was an idiot. He may have been many things, but one thing he definitively is NOT is an idiot. The guy was extremely intelligent, brilliant mathematician, with highest education. Obviously, mentally, he was elsewhere…

          As usual, your point perfectly misses (by a light year)…

  2. But you gotta love a judge who asked overpaid attorneys that question, I don’t care whose side you are on.

    Remember, the attorneys get paid to make the first rejected draft and then they get paid to go back and fix it.

  3. IQ tests (and most psychometric tests) are bullshit; Feynman for example had a self-reported IQ of 125 (high, but still less than 2 standard deviations away from the mean, and by no means a “genius”, at least according to psychometric proponents out there).

    In terms of the judge, I’d settle for someone less jaded and cynical. She should recognize that Samsung’s vile lies require a significant amount of repudiation, hence the long witness list.

  4. It sounds like SHE is the one that might be on crack.

    The trial may have been difficult, but she should order a day or two of rest if she’s tired, not lose control.

  5. All these judges seem to be arrogant assholes.

    Your honor… My ass!

    No wonder the legal system is fucked up!

    The dumb bitch can’t read a lengthy document. Is there a way to get a real judge in there that isn’t an asshole?

    1. Judge Koh was assigned a trial that no judge wanted. These trials require extraordinary courtroom management and the patience of Job from a Judge. She knows that her every remotely questionable action will be appealed.
      She also knows that unless she keeps a tight time and behavior reign on the attorneys, that the bad behavior will escalate into a never-ending circus performance, as attorneys match tactic with tactic, including improper, and ethically questionable agressiveness. Tit for tat. That is their job…it is the judge’s job to keep it under control, so the jury has a rationale chance of reaching a good verdict which will stand the appeals.

  6. It doesn’t seem so much that she is stupid as lazy. She wants a nice simple trial where she doesn’t actually have to do any work or read anything. She is missing all her soap operas!

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