Zune, Microsoft Corp.’s distant also-ran music and entertainment outfit, has announced some updates ahead of Apple’s “Let’s Rock” special event tomorrow.
According to Microsoft, starting next week, Zune players will offer those who’ve not yet returned Aunt Tilly’s gift mistake for store credit the ability wirelessly download or stream songs from wireless hot spots. Free software and firmware updates will give Zune owners the ability to discover, tag and purchase songs directly from the Zune’s static-prone built-in FM radio, wirelessly access the Zune Marketplace store and its rip-off “points” system, and tap into “personalized music recommendations.” Yawn.
Zune is also expanding its device lineup with 16GB and 120GB capacities as well as “blue-on-silver” and “all-black” colors in the same old 2nd-generation Zune case “designs.” The new features won’t begin rolling out until Sept. 16, 2008, but Microsoft knows that by this time tomorrow, Apple will have debuted their iPod lineup for the holiday shopping season, so Redmond has rushed out yet another press release extolling vapor with the vain hope that they can sell a Zune or two, which would effectively double or triple their current sales total to date.
Zune will finally bring games on the go to the device which is rarely, if ever, seen in public outside of a dusty display case. Two free games, “Hexic” and “Texas Hold ’Em,” will keep all three Zune users entertained. All Zune devices will also feature support for audiobooks this fall. Is this when the “wow” is supposed to start?
The amount Microsoft hopes to charge for Zune Devices (effective Sept. 16):
• 120 GB: $249.99
• 80 GB: $229.99
• 16 GB: $199.00
• 8 GB: $149.99
• 4 GB: $129.99
The fiasco continues… for now.
Wow!
Read as “They still make ’em?”
— OFFICIAL MICROSOFT PRESS RELEASE —
Our popular Zune music player will now come with a FREE toilet roll.
We at Microsoft think that this handy accessory will be very popular amongst our Zune user base.
End.
I work at Zune… and I am embarassed
MS should scrap that embarrassing device, the zuner the better.
MDN, for years, has written and posted their own news articles here. I’ve always enjoyed them and hope they continue.
However……… I do agree it’s a bit odd to write a take on your own article.
They don’t still make Zunes, do they?
This is soooo desperate. MS leapfrogs Apple with Zune updates. BFD. Like, who cares? Truly delusional. On a par with the Gates and Seinfeld shoe store ad. It’s lead in the water. It has to be. Their minds have been destroyed.
:-Q*************
Ballmer to stockholders:
“Yeah, I know we’re not doing that well in the stock price department. I put my best men on it and we’ve come up with a solution: Zune updates.
“We know you’re all fed up with Apple taking away our OS marketshare piece by piece. The iPhone is wiping Windows Mobile’s ass. The iPod is ubiquitous. We made a few errors with the Zune. But we’ve cleaned all of that up. All of it! OK? The Zune, this time, for real, is going to kick Apple’s ass for a change.
“We’ve timed the release to beat Apple’s new iPod announcements to the punch. They’re going to really hate us. The new Zune updates will get everyone’s attention and keep it, while Apple gets ignored by the press. This is our moment. Feel it.
“No, no questions at this time please. Please! I said NO QUESTIONS! OK? Jeezus. What do I have to do to shut you people up anyway? I mean it’s not like we aren’t working our asses off up here. Look at me sweat! You think I make this happen by sheer will power?! This is me working! Hard! Seriously folks. Give us a break, would ya?
“OK, so call my Secretary! That’s it folks. (David, get me out of here. Fast).”
Matching up the new Zune prices with the new iPod prices.
iPod Touch 32GB $399
iPod Touch 16GB $299
Zune 120GB: $249.99 99¢ more than iPod Classic 120GB
Zune 80GB: $229.99 99¢ more than iPod Touch 8GB
Zune 16GB: $199.00 same price as iPod Nano 16GB
Zune 8GB: $149.99 99¢ more than iPod Nano 8GB
Zune 4GB: $129.99
iPod shuffle 2GB $69
iPod shuffle 1GB $49
Looks like Microsoft got the price per GB right this time. So people will be choosing based on features.
Who cares about the Zune now. I bet MS will pre-announce stuff that won’t even exist for the next few months when its their turn to announce. Just to try and steal thunder…. except only about 10 people will care. LOL
Lets see, after the latest Apple event, Zune prices the same as Apple and WAY less songs, TV, movies…… etc. OH yes, NO TOUCH, iPhone, etc.
Microsoft, a day late, a dollar short, and we make sure its your dollar that we short. LOL
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Just a thought.
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