“A group of academics will be among the first people outside Microsoft to see Sphere, a spherical surface computer developed by Microsoft Research,” Ina Fried reports or CNET News.
MacDailyNews Take: If this were any other company, we’d swear this was a joke, but this is what happens when “Microsoft Research” strays from its primary focus: 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, CA 95014.
Fried continues, “The sphere-shaped, multitouch computer is similar to the tabletop Surface computer that Microsoft announced last year… This incarnation, however, remains a project within Microsoft Research and the company has no current plans to bring it to market.”
MacDailyNews Take: We can’t wait for Microsoft’s Big Ass Toilet Seat. Now that would sell – to women (guys would leave it up all the time). If it offered the gals some haptics, the lines would stretch for miles.
Fried continues, “Bill Gates has talked about a vision for surface computing that stretches far beyond the high-end commercial applications of Surface and in several years’ time would have many, many of today’s surfaces becoming computerized, both at home and at work.”
MacDailyNews Take: Because he’s such a visionary (dripping with sarcasm).
Full article here.
Todd Bishop reports for The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, “Sphere will be shown Tuesday at the annual Microsoft Research Faculty Summit alongside other projects from Microsoft and university researchers.”
Video: Microsoft’s Big Ass Ball:
Direct link to video here.
Full article here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers too numerous to mention for the heads up.]
MacDailyNews Take: Steven P. Jobs on a popsicle stick! After they reverse themselves and bring it to market, Microsoft is going to corner the entire novelty world globe market which is worth… wait for it… ONE MILLLLLION DOLLARS!
At this rate, “Vanquishing the Borg” is going to be easier than we thought.
Go, Ballmer, Go! Shovel that filthy lucre into your giant cash furnace, you sweaty SOB!
[Originally posted at 1:03pm EDT. Updated: 3:31pm EDT with new photo illustration and some additional “Takes.]
“It’s just a matter of time before this type of technology will be appearing in every planetarium, and then in every science classroom.”
Right. Won’t happen. I guess you haven’t seen school budgets lately. It may well, as you say, find a small niche in science fairs and planetariums, but like always MicroSoft funds lofty ideas instead of making truly useful products. This is advertising promo material plain and simple that will never find a use outside of the realms of curiosity.
This is so f*cking usless!
Could it be that Microsoft is moving into commerical retail space “display technology”… if so, watch out Macy… Microsoft is after what little profits you guys have left!
And the folks at Macy’s would be foolish enought to give it to them too!
At least if Microsoft is fucking around with each others balls they not focused on Apple… ifd they ever were!
I tried really hard to imagine what you would do with this. It’s just useless. Total waste of time and money.
I argue a large flat-panel can be seen by more people at once.
Retards.
Could they have found a less comfortable pitch man ?
Didn’t you stop and think during the video and say…”He doesn’t know what it would be used for either.”
Total retards.
@BobM
Really, displaying continental drift in a classroom on a sphere?!
So the students will be running around the sphere, on top of each other, craning their necks, trying to keep a view of a continent as it slides around the sphere?
Yeah! I’d sure be glad my school board spent 20 G on that Big Ass … ASS, that would quickly be gathering dust in the storage area under the gymacafatorium.
And as for the presenter, 18-year-old Dilton Doiley, from the chess club, what a crock! Everyone will have the same view of the sphere’s graphics?!
How will the person beside the presenter, or on the other side of the sphere have a good view of whatever the presenter is working on?
Microsoft is attempting to give the illusion of product development, to try to prevent, or at least ameliorate the stock hemorrhage that everyone, even Ballmer, knows is coming in Redmond.
Sell Microsoft now, buy Apple tomorrow, retire soon.
Hey Steve Balmen:
Don’t forget the tesseract, also called an 8-cell or regular octachoron. This is the four-dimensional analog of the cube, which is in turn the three dimensional analog of the square. The tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square; or, more formally, the tesseract can be described as a regular convex 4-polytope whose boundary consists of eight cubical cells.
Into the fourth demension and beyond.
The display itself doesn’t come from Microsoft.
See http://www.globalimagination.com/ . Kinda cool, actually.
Madgunde says:
“This does nothing that two or more flat screens can’t do better, except maybe for use as a virtual globe. Most expensive globe ever.”
And it doesn’t even have a keyboard!
I don’t think ChrissyOne will be getting one. You have to have experience with balls.
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Ingredients of Big Ass Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Hey, it’s cool, super expensive, and serves absolutely no purpose except for moving stuff around as a kiosk. At it’s current size it would work for four people standing around it to finger-pass pictures or documents around. Other than that, it is completely USELESS!!!!
A fly on the brainstorm wall at M$= “What if we were to wrap the screen around the projector and charge tons of money for it?
neomonkey,
Oh she has experience with balls.
She removes them from guys who insult her. Watch your back.
Now if it were a realtime multi-touch zoom in and out Google Earth Globe, it would be really cool and would have a purpose. I want to see what my neighbor is doing behind that fence.
freebeer,
“Next up – The Big Ass Column. A big ass surface in the shape of a large column in a hall, flanked on both sides by the big ass balls, that symbolizes MSFT Research.”
I’ll bet that comment will get everybody up.
What on earth more do Microsoft need to do to make themselves look like COMPLETE MORONS????
The guys in Cupertino are rolling around on the floor clutching their stomachs…
@Ahem “The display itself doesn’t come from Microsoft.”
Nice catch. So basically what little we could see as being interesting about it, was borrowed… Yep that’s Microsoft for you.
Sphere?!?!
“Balls to Monty” I say…
Wow, Pong on a ball!!! I can hardly wait, that will the gaming experience of a lifetime.
Looks like it would be a great prop for some movie with Tom Cruise in it. Oh wait, they already made AI.
This thing is sooooooo useful, I can’t imagine not wanting at least two.
A Palantir with a direct connection to Sauron!
I love the updated picture with the Wicked Witch. Very nice.
During the demo, the Blue Screen of Death will look cool spherized.
You know the Sphere has more than one function.
At the flip of a switch, it converts to an electrostatic generator.
Great fun can be had by all, watching each others hair stand on end. Now that’s innovation!
(I’ve always wondered if your pubes stand up too.)
@YourMomBlueRay,
“This is much better than the big ass table. I could see this used for commercial purposes quite easily. If Apple came up with this, we’d be all oohs and ahhs…”
Is it me or is it really getting easy to spot MS Trolls these days. I read this site pretty regular and this Mac crowd is pretty hard to please, Apple cool or not. JMHO.
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@ Thomas
“I disagree with all you haters.
This would be great in hotel lobbies for displaying dynamic ads and disseminating information as a digital concierge.
It would also be great in art galleries and museums.
Personally I think this is much better and more marketable than the Big Ass Table because it is more elegant and would be more visible throughout a room than a horizontal surface.”
Yep, haters cause we like Apple and dislike Microsoft. LOL
NOW, let me say that I like to see research too. The BAT and BAS are neat ideas and I can see applications. Just not for regular people. Way too much machinery going on inside to produce simple effects. And as Ballmer, himself, would say, “And it ain’t got no keyboard. Which makes it not very good for business.”
LOL
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Just a thought.
en
Side note. Actually I think this came from Gates before he left…ish. He has always like the techno-Geek stuff. Remember his house where you wear a pin that transmitts who you are and you can have your own music follow you through the house, even under water.
Unfortunately, his house is being revamped. I understand that there is major issues with the software that is running the house. Windows XP…. Hmmm wonder if the problems started when he tried to upgrade the house to “VISTA – Big Fat House” version. ??? LOL
What’s the surface made of? For that matter, what’s the surface of the big ass table made of?
Ad Campaign:
Microsoft. We’ve Got Balls.