“A group of academics will be among the first people outside Microsoft to see Sphere, a spherical surface computer developed by Microsoft Research,” Ina Fried reports or CNET News.
MacDailyNews Take: If this were any other company, we’d swear this was a joke, but this is what happens when “Microsoft Research” strays from its primary focus: 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, CA 95014.
Fried continues, “The sphere-shaped, multitouch computer is similar to the tabletop Surface computer that Microsoft announced last year… This incarnation, however, remains a project within Microsoft Research and the company has no current plans to bring it to market.”
MacDailyNews Take: We can’t wait for Microsoft’s Big Ass Toilet Seat. Now that would sell – to women (guys would leave it up all the time). If it offered the gals some haptics, the lines would stretch for miles.
Fried continues, “Bill Gates has talked about a vision for surface computing that stretches far beyond the high-end commercial applications of Surface and in several years’ time would have many, many of today’s surfaces becoming computerized, both at home and at work.”
MacDailyNews Take: Because he’s such a visionary (dripping with sarcasm).
Full article here.
Todd Bishop reports for The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, “Sphere will be shown Tuesday at the annual Microsoft Research Faculty Summit alongside other projects from Microsoft and university researchers.”
Video: Microsoft’s Big Ass Ball:
Direct link to video here.
Full article here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers too numerous to mention for the heads up.]
MacDailyNews Take: Steven P. Jobs on a popsicle stick! After they reverse themselves and bring it to market, Microsoft is going to corner the entire novelty world globe market which is worth… wait for it… ONE MILLLLLION DOLLARS!
At this rate, “Vanquishing the Borg” is going to be easier than we thought.
Go, Ballmer, Go! Shovel that filthy lucre into your giant cash furnace, you sweaty SOB!
[Originally posted at 1:03pm EDT. Updated: 3:31pm EDT with new photo illustration and some additional “Takes.]
Why do all these inventions look like they came out of Ballmers hea…i mean, ass.
Microsoft has become so desparate to find out what Apple will come out with next, that they are attempting to develope a crystal ball… interesting
zaxxon4 FTW!
Hey Microsoft, I have a great idea for your next “innovation”. How about the Rhombus? Then you could work on the trapezoid next.
Actually this looks great. Even though it would not be a consumer product, it could be used as a kiosk.
It also would be great for an interactive globe of the earth or of other heavenly bodies.
1 sphere = 2 hemispheres
Microsoft’s behind.
Okay, I didn’t watch the video before stating the obvious.
I still think it is cool, though.
The Pucker, an inverted conical computing environment.
That has to be the most pathetic attempt at innovation I have ever seen. Its ridiculous.. Sphere, what genius conjured that up! What are these losers smoking while they are watching Star Trek reruns? Are we all gonna walk around with Spheres in our pockets? I wonder if you can run Zune software on a Sphere. Wonder if it bluescreens?
It’s the same as the Surface, but the rear projection is most likely like a small planetarium projector. Technologically it is impressive, but the production costs would be significantly higher than the Surface. The Surface would cost a lot less, with no loss in functionality. At least Microsoft has enough sense left to know that this is unmarketable
Will they use AC/DC music for the ad campaign???
Other than displaying a globe, i can’t see any benefit of having this rather than a normal screen – or even a table.
Personally I don’t have a great desire to drag around a load of images and occasionally resize them.
OK — there are some smart people on this site. (we are Mac users)
Let’s just take a minute and brainstorm the amazing, important, significant, and innovate uses that come from this new form factor of a sphere for M$’s touch innovation…
a globe (once you zoom in, however, this no longer is a sphere. So no matter what planet you are on, or moon, or sun, a sphere is not a significant/important shape once you zoom in, out)
a fisher-price people head (this is interesting)
a sphere–like a giant multi-colored, dynamic ball people can virutal finger paint on. (this has promise. DANG expensive)
any others?
Might have been cool say 5 or more years ago.
I shoulda proof read that
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” /> you get my drift. (maybe if I wrote it on a giant orb my tyops would have been more apparent.)
I can just hear Ballmer exclaiming “You can touch our big balls!”
This is much better than the big ass table. I could see this used for commercial purposes quite easily. If Apple came up with this, we’d be all oohs and ahhs…
Memo to self: Sell MSFT shares now.
FINALLY!!! the Orgasmatron! wheres Woody Allen?
I disagree with all you haters.
This would be great in hotel lobbies for displaying dynamic ads and disseminating information as a digital concierge.
It would also be great in art galleries and museums.
Personally I think this is much better and more marketable than the Big Ass Table because it is more elegant and would be more visible throughout a room than a horizontal surface.
It looks extremely cool. It’s also a completely useless tech demo, not a product.
Hey! It looks like the Go-A-Ul’d’s long distance communicator from SG-1. The cat’s finally outta-da-bag … these guys are the evil Go-a-ul’d, Balmer must be Anubis, So I guess Billy must be Yu, and these egg heads must be the Jafar.
At least I Die Free
@Your Mom…
Um…right…
Like a virtual gumball machine? Awesome.
If Apple ‘came up’ with this? We would be calling 911.
Only COMPLETE MORONS can see value in this INSANE nonsense.
This is a joke, right?
Whenever M$ tout ideas like this, I always think of the line Jeff Goldblum said in Jurassic Park;
“We are so concerned with whether or not we could, we never stopped to think if we should.”
This should never have left the drawing pad of the lunatic who designed it.
This does nothing that two or more flat screens can’t do better, except maybe for use as a virtual globe. Most expensive globe ever.
My point: this sphere is not much more significantly useful than on any other shape they choose to put their technology. I agree with the useless tech demo comment.
It’s a product that wants us to believe has a trajectory, but the only trajectory is useless demos.
my opinion.
Did any else notice the multy touching and the way photos were manipulated?
Didn’t Apple already do this with the iPhone?
Didn’t Apple patent the hell out of it?
Ballmer – you fat, sweaty, mongoloid….
Keep up the good work!
To all those who use the term ‘haters’:
The term has NO meaning – it also suggests that those who use it have a serious issue with criticism – ie a too fragile ego.
See a Doctor, one with ‘Psychiatrist’ on his door.
BTW, the sphere is further proof that MSFT is fscked, big time.
“Wonder if it bluescreens?”
great, microsoft blueballs, coming soon…..
It’s all in the emphasis:
big-ass BALL -or-
big ASS ball!
“… the company has no plans to bring it to market.”
Well, at least someone at MS recognizes there’s absolutely no market for this. Seriously, what is gained by displaying a two-dimensional image on a spherical surface? MS has lost any sense of what’s important;this is technology without benefit, an attempt to show there is some modicum of creativity left in the company, however ill-directed.
Next up from Microsofts ‘skunk works’ :
The giant piece of cheese!
A huge piece of cheese, with touch-cheese capabilities, and when you get hungry, you can eat chunks off it!
Warning:
The big cheese may smell after a period of time, and if you eat the cheese, there are electronic components that can cause a choking hazard in very small children.
Embedded chips in edible products from Microsoft – what do you want to eat today?
What a horrible demo!
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”smile” style=”border:0;” />
This thing will obviously have very limited uses and most of the ones demoed are *not* them. All that nonsense about multi-person “social” uses is, well… nonsense.
You can’t carry it, so it will have to be installed somewhere like the table. That means kiosks or dedicated custom uses in research.
It seems to have some utility for maps and displaying of 3D spaces but that’s about it. Another $10,000 computer with limited specialised functionality. Who would buy this?
I am guessing that this and the MS Table are just research products that would never have seen the light of day due to their very limited functionality/practicality if not for the debut of the iPhone.
This item was inspired by the charismatic Steve Ballmer. In fact, the first prototype was painted to resemble Ballmer’s head, in every minute detail.
Unfortunately for the designers, the FrankenSphere was so lifelike, that it literally oozed sweat, and no one could bear to touch the thing.
I can’t believe how many people are ready to dismiss this as stupid just because it’s from Microsoft. Admittedly it’s a niche market, but if you don’t think that the eventual uses for a spherical display are exciting then you just aren’t using your imagination. It’s just a matter of time before this type of technology will be appearing in every planetarium, and then in every science classroom. Haven’t you ever thought about how cool it would be to see continental drift demonstrated on a globe rather than on a flat screen? I think anyone who loves maps could come up with countless ideas for animated/changeable globes.
@shen The new acronym will be BBOD (Blue Balls of Death). Death by blue balls, what a miserable way to go.
Do you ever get the feeling that MDN might go a little out of their way to antagonize the weak sisters who cry about this site being so uncouth? I’m not complaining, mind you.
Maybe one day they will do a surface computer on the inside of a toilet bowl.
“That has to be the most pathetic attempt at innovation I have ever seen. Its ridiculous.. Sphere, what genius conjured that up! What are these losers smoking while they are watching Star Trek reruns? Are we all gonna walk around with Spheres in our pockets? I wonder if you can run Zune software on a Sphere. Wonder if it bluescreens?”
Of course it doesn’t bluescreen.
It blue balls.
@BobM
read above to find out why people think this is not imaginative. Teachers buy demo units for things like continental drift. You’ve just come up with a pretty expensive display for 1% of the curriculum content.
anyway, it’s not a real product. The joke here is that M$ isn’t creative, but they want us to believe this is creative. I agree with Raymond in DC.
The Great Apple Fanboy Massacre,
“Has it ever occurred to you that not all technologies are developed to be portable consumer devices?”
This was originally MicroSoft’s idea for a new trackball mouse.
OMG. Is this what passes for innovation at Microsoft? This would be funny if it weren’t so incredibly tragic. This is from the same company that gave us Excel? (and first on a Mac) Win95? (yeah, a kludge, but an impressive one) NT? (a modern OS kernel) Office for the Mac 98? (still one of the best implementations of the Office suite on any platform)
I know that this is an official Microsoft bashing zone, but Microsoft has created some important moments in personal computing. Spherical computing? Oh, lord, how sad…
What is this bull, Ballmer’s benoit ball? They sink millions into a product that has about as much market demand as the Zune or Microsoft Bob. What other shape from Euclidean geometry will they multi-touch next?
I’m considering getting one of these to put on my iTele. The problem is the weight might be so great that it would throw off the route precision during an intergalactic teleport causing me to end up somewhere I’m not supposed to be.
The good old folks at Microsoft’s R & D Department are so old and out of touch that there in to their second childhood and now there playing with tables and balls…SAD!
Is this what stockholder through they were funding… bullshit balls!
I don’t think that I want a ball setting on my desk, taking up desktop space anytime soon!
Just think, in Microsoft’s little world, we can all choose between a 12″, 24″ or a whopping 48″ ball… my balls are bigger then yours! <GRIN>
Then there was the turd… that they tried to pass off as a M3 Player and iPod killer.. which has all but gone down the drain via the flushing tool!
What’s next… the EGG?
Yes, this is creative in a totally impractical kind of way, like something you would see at Disney. I’m sure there’s some value in letting your engineers run wild, but it’s kind of like letting the world view your kid’s $3 billion science project.
They seem to have no clue on how to identify real, practical needs and make enjoyable solutions.
Next up – The Big Ass Column. A big ass surface in the shape of a large column in a hall, flanked on both sides by the big ass balls, that symbolizes MSFT Research.
The ball MSFT really needs to look at is the magic 8 ball – shake it up and see their future….
The Big Ass Table turned into a sphere how innovative. Still years away from being a consumer product. The variation on a theme, is what Microsoft is using to show their relevance in the future of computing?
The sphere is still using old technologies with projection imaging and camera position captures of the touch. All the same old tech used for their big ass table parlor trick which requires much, much more power to work then Apple’s true Multi-touch surface. Microsoft needs a reality check and they need to take some classes on what real innovation is all about. Smoke and mirror parlor tricks is no longer going to make a technology company. Customers and investors want to see real innovation.
“It’s just a matter of time before this type of technology will be appearing in every planetarium, and then in every science classroom.”
Right. Won’t happen. I guess you haven’t seen school budgets lately. It may well, as you say, find a small niche in science fairs and planetariums, but like always MicroSoft funds lofty ideas instead of making truly useful products. This is advertising promo material plain and simple that will never find a use outside of the realms of curiosity.
This is so f*cking usless!
Could it be that Microsoft is moving into commerical retail space “display technology”… if so, watch out Macy… Microsoft is after what little profits you guys have left!
And the folks at Macy’s would be foolish enought to give it to them too!
At least if Microsoft is fucking around with each others balls they not focused on Apple… ifd they ever were!
I tried really hard to imagine what you would do with this. It’s just useless. Total waste of time and money.
I argue a large flat-panel can be seen by more people at once.
Retards.
Could they have found a less comfortable pitch man ?
Didn’t you stop and think during the video and say…”He doesn’t know what it would be used for either.”
Total retards.
@BobM
Really, displaying continental drift in a classroom on a sphere?!
So the students will be running around the sphere, on top of each other, craning their necks, trying to keep a view of a continent as it slides around the sphere?
Yeah! I’d sure be glad my school board spent 20 G on that Big Ass … ASS, that would quickly be gathering dust in the storage area under the gymacafatorium.
And as for the presenter, 18-year-old Dilton Doiley, from the chess club, what a crock! Everyone will have the same view of the sphere’s graphics?!
How will the person beside the presenter, or on the other side of the sphere have a good view of whatever the presenter is working on?
Microsoft is attempting to give the illusion of product development, to try to prevent, or at least ameliorate the stock hemorrhage that everyone, even Ballmer, knows is coming in Redmond.
Sell Microsoft now, buy Apple tomorrow, retire soon.
Hey Steve Balmen:
Don’t forget the tesseract, also called an 8-cell or regular octachoron. This is the four-dimensional analog of the cube, which is in turn the three dimensional analog of the square. The tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square; or, more formally, the tesseract can be described as a regular convex 4-polytope whose boundary consists of eight cubical cells.
Into the fourth demension and beyond.
The display itself doesn’t come from Microsoft.
See http://www.globalimagination.com/ . Kinda cool, actually.
Madgunde says:
“This does nothing that two or more flat screens can’t do better, except maybe for use as a virtual globe. Most expensive globe ever.”
And it doesn’t even have a keyboard!
I don’t think ChrissyOne will be getting one. You have to have experience with balls.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”oh oh” style=”border:0;” />
Ingredients of Big Ass Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Hey, it’s cool, super expensive, and serves absolutely no purpose except for moving stuff around as a kiosk. At it’s current size it would work for four people standing around it to finger-pass pictures or documents around. Other than that, it is completely USELESS!!!!
A fly on the brainstorm wall at M$= “What if we were to wrap the screen around the projector and charge tons of money for it?
neomonkey,
Oh she has experience with balls.
She removes them from guys who insult her. Watch your back.
Now if it were a realtime multi-touch zoom in and out Google Earth Globe, it would be really cool and would have a purpose. I want to see what my neighbor is doing behind that fence.
freebeer,
“Next up – The Big Ass Column. A big ass surface in the shape of a large column in a hall, flanked on both sides by the big ass balls, that symbolizes MSFT Research.”
I’ll bet that comment will get everybody up.
What on earth more do Microsoft need to do to make themselves look like COMPLETE MORONS????
The guys in Cupertino are rolling around on the floor clutching their stomachs…
@Ahem “The display itself doesn’t come from Microsoft.”
Nice catch. So basically what little we could see as being interesting about it, was borrowed… Yep that’s Microsoft for you.
Sphere?!?!
“Balls to Monty” I say…
Wow, Pong on a ball!!! I can hardly wait, that will the gaming experience of a lifetime.
Looks like it would be a great prop for some movie with Tom Cruise in it. Oh wait, they already made AI.
This thing is sooooooo useful, I can’t imagine not wanting at least two.
A Palantir with a direct connection to Sauron!
I love the updated picture with the Wicked Witch. Very nice.
During the demo, the Blue Screen of Death will look cool spherized.
You know the Sphere has more than one function.
At the flip of a switch, it converts to an electrostatic generator.
Great fun can be had by all, watching each others hair stand on end. Now that’s innovation!
(I’ve always wondered if your pubes stand up too.)
@YourMomBlueRay,
“This is much better than the big ass table. I could see this used for commercial purposes quite easily. If Apple came up with this, we’d be all oohs and ahhs…”
Is it me or is it really getting easy to spot MS Trolls these days. I read this site pretty regular and this Mac crowd is pretty hard to please, Apple cool or not. JMHO.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”grin” style=”border:0;” />
@ Thomas
“I disagree with all you haters.
This would be great in hotel lobbies for displaying dynamic ads and disseminating information as a digital concierge.
It would also be great in art galleries and museums.
Personally I think this is much better and more marketable than the Big Ass Table because it is more elegant and would be more visible throughout a room than a horizontal surface.”
Yep, haters cause we like Apple and dislike Microsoft. LOL
NOW, let me say that I like to see research too. The BAT and BAS are neat ideas and I can see applications. Just not for regular people. Way too much machinery going on inside to produce simple effects. And as Ballmer, himself, would say, “And it ain’t got no keyboard. Which makes it not very good for business.”
LOL
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”grin” style=”border:0;” />
Just a thought.
en
Side note. Actually I think this came from Gates before he left…ish. He has always like the techno-Geek stuff. Remember his house where you wear a pin that transmitts who you are and you can have your own music follow you through the house, even under water.
Unfortunately, his house is being revamped. I understand that there is major issues with the software that is running the house. Windows XP…. Hmmm wonder if the problems started when he tried to upgrade the house to “VISTA – Big Fat House” version. ??? LOL
What’s the surface made of? For that matter, what’s the surface of the big ass table made of?
Ad Campaign:
Microsoft. We’ve Got Balls.
HAHAHA! What a fantastic picture to start off this article… One of your best, MDN
Man, that was lame.
This is the Big Ass Table shaped so you do not have to lean over it, showing your crack to the world. It is still pretty impractical and expensive. Its form factor limits rather than liberating the technology.
M$ is still growing. They added 12,200 employees in 2007 alone. They are building a new campus in Redmond and taking over office tower space in Seattle. More and more people are working there. My question is, on what are the working? Are there new innovative products coming out. Nope. Haven’t seen any for a very long; well never really. Unless you count figuring out how to copy what already exists.
This is the company that took CPM and made it their operating system. Took Word Star and made it Word. They took VisiCalc and made Excell. They took MacIntosh and made it Windows. They took Playstation and made it Xbox. They took iPod and made it Zune. Still waiting for some innovation here.
Better Title:
Microsoft Prepares Death Star 1.0
Consider this: all Microsoft has to do now is figure out a way of projecting images onto non-solid surfaces (eg. thin air) and you’ve got the rough basis for the holographic projection device that animates Rimmer and other holograms in the Red Dwarf series.
@The Great Apple Fanboy Massacre
No I dont walk around with a Cinema display you dickweed. Thats a retarded question, I cant get a power cord long enough.
Does the Sphere of Turd run on Vista or Bob?
When you don’t have big balls you try to create them and pretend they are yours.
Cheers!
whatever happened to Gates’ vision of the Big Ass House?
Perfect gift for the Type A asshole who has everything:
“Hey guys. Come into my living room and check out my new balls.”
This just in: Microsoft employees hired to demo the Sphere are known affectionately by their work mates as “Sphere Queers.”
Okay last one. Where is Ampar when you need him?
“You know only two things come from Redmond. Spheres and Queers.”
@therepguy: noooo, whats next is the amoeba…
Big ass toilet seat would actually be kinda funny. Each time one sits, the toilet seat changes colors.
Even funnier if it were on Jackass with the T*rd on the toilet seat stunt.LOL
Merlin is line for one.
They’re pricy because they only come in pairs.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />
Hang a pair from the ceiling of a Bob’s restaurant so the customers can play with Bob’s big greasy balls while eating a Bob’s Big Boy…
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />
There’ll be a scaled-down version that will be sold as ben-wa balls. It will display images of Paris, New York, San Francisco, Tokyo, Moscow, etc, all while doing… what a ben-wa ball does… “Let your junk see the world without ever leaving the comfort of your own bedroom!”
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />
Well this product is aboviously a complete PoS.
However, it did get me thinking. It would be cool if some one made a sphear like this that was clear and filled with some kinda gas or liquid that you could project holograms onto. Then you could actually see three dimentional objects and such.You could even display 2D images the way this thing does.
Of course this would stilll be a niche product but far more useful then this stupid thing.
I used to think that one day this monolith of a company would see the danger, wake up and use its entrenched power to simply stamp out Apple’s (and indeed others) undoubted technical and innovative superiority. I now realise that this company truly doesn’t have any idea what it should do to compete let alone extinguish opposition any more and this ‘demonstration’ simply confirms the inevitability of their eventual demise in my mind.
The technology on show here could easily have been produced ten years ago, the difference is that no one then would have been desperate enough, or have enough useless time on their hands to have bothered. Could you just see the uneveness in the movement when he touches it, so perhaps it is a demonstration from ten years ago escaped from the archives.
One can’t fail to feel the embarassment of the presenter as he tries his best to big up a purpose for this junk. One moment he is saying that it offers open interaction between a group of people then totally contradicts himself by claiming it offers privacy form others. No irony then in suggesting implicitly that while the pictures on the sphere can move the people themselves must be totally static. Hey is this Microsoft’s alternative to legs or a craning neck perhaps? Or maybe they just intend to own the planetarium market, you know those places that have been using similar technology for decades without this blue sphere of death.
This… this… this is almost… too… funny… for… words!
I suppose MS had that all important Gypsy Fortune Teller market in mind when they came up with it.
“Loook into mzy Big Ass Ball and zeeee your futuure – it… it zeems you vill incounter a blue szreen, and be control alt deleted!”
Joking aside, what were MS thinking? Has a giant glass ball honestly got the potential to replace, say, the PC? It doesn’t seem useful as an information kiosk…
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ The Great Apple Fanboy Massacre
“Apple did not invent multi-touch, idiot. Research these things before your start spewing nonsense.”
Maybe you should learn to read first. Please show us where karrde97 claimed that Apple invented Multi-touch.
The comment was:
“Didn’t Apple patent the hell out of it?”
Which is true. You buffoon.
Steve Jobs=Cube
Ballmer=Ball
I think they should mount the Sphere on a spring, like a bobble head doll. Or like Steve Ballmer; take your pick.
“Which is true. You buffoon.”
That pretty much put an end to his foolishness.
I didn’t read all of the comments to see if this was mentioned… but if it crashed you would get a blue ball of death instead of a blue screen of death! LOL
MDN,
Please run that Old Spice ad nonstop. Zowy!!!
I have it from an inside source that Microsoft’s next major project is to create a large open ring-shaped multi-touch computer. Apparently they’re going to call it the Big Ass Hole.
“That pretty much put an end to his foolishness.”
Don’t bet on it.
This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.
Basically, people stand around this thing and NO ONE gets a good view. Remember those old CRTs with a curved screen. Then they became flat-screen CRTs, and it was better. Then they became flat LCDs. This Sphere is worse than the most curved CRT screen that ever existed. The demo guy is basically projecting a regular “square” screen onto the curved surface. I can’t believe even Microsoft is developing this thing. The only place this thing will be useful is on the set of a bad sci-fi movie. It makes the Big Ass Table seem like an useful device.
Put three holes in it and there you have your Big Ass Bowlingbal.
*Ballmer looking using BAS Magic 8-ball Vista Deluxe Premium Edition*
Will we ever be as cool or innovative as Apple?
Outlook doubtful.
Hmm, as to applications other than fortune-telling software maybe you can watch porn on it? Be like watching people f—ing in the next aisle over on one of them convex mirrors.
Or you can try and get as many girls to touch your Balls at once and exclaim over their size (and likely that of your wallet).
Microsoft: We’re sharing our Balls with you so you can do the same.
ChrissyOne,
It’s just wishful thinking.
Put one hole in it and you have the Big Ass Glory Hole.
Hopefully it doesn’t have a feature that connects you to the dark lord Sauron, I mean Ballmer. Even worse if it turns into his bald ass monkey head. I wonder if that’s how Billy communicates his orders to Ballmer when Steve’s not using his head as a Benoit ball in Bill’s rectum.
MS, just one little question: WHY?!?!
WTF was your inspiration? Ballmer’s sweat-glazed bald skull?
Even the worst of Detroit’s Bad Old Days couldn’t manage to shit out something this pathetic.
OK, I just got the “why” part:
MS needed something to make the Big Ass Table look… practical.
And Sphere does that spectacularly.
Expect scores of these Stupid Ass Balls to be set up at major tech expos worldwide for the next year.
Or until MS kills it, whatever comes first.
A heap of excitement here eh? all those people watching!
What a load of ….
not surprising is it?
Everyone is missing what this sphere could do in the advertising world.
Why, you could put it on a big flag pole and lower it at the end of every year.
Not only that, you could bolt it to the top of that flag pole and have a dark 76 on an orange background display on it and even revolve.
There has to be dozens of uses with the flagpole alone.
The only possible good use for Sphere:
http://www.freeverse.com/games/game/?id=7016
(scroll to the bottom)
Is Big Ass Ball a noun or a verb? Or Both?
Worse idea ever!
Remember when displays were CRTs and they were curved. Then they became flat screen CRTs and then LCDs, and they were much better. Now, here’s the ultimate curved screen. People are supposed to stand around this Sphere; NO ONE gets a good view (or everyone gets an equally bad view). The Demo Guy even projects a rectangular image onto the surface. This make the Big Ass Table seem useful.
The only place this thing will be useful is on the set of a bad sci-fi movie.
Maybe you could wear Ballmer’s Big Blue Bulb on your head?
uhhhhhhhh…….uhmmm…errr……
-or-
hahaha fccckkinng idiots hahahah
either way. how sad.
I suppose an alternative to this would be to put a giant projector on the moon and beam images onto Balmers big shiny bald pate…
…the downside being people would have to touch his repulsive sweaty orb of a head!
***goes off to be sick at the thought of it***
Guess what Apple Shrills I’m back!!!
You dunghill kings still jabbering about alll things Microsoft??? Man you folks got it bad, this green envy will be your undoing. Get over the koolaide already and see the light of day. Apple blows chunks and there is nothing you can do about it.
Oh and on topic, great potential for businesses looking for a reliable cuatomer access popint for sales or service presentations. And a unique form factor.
“Guess what Apple Shrills I’m back!!!”
I guessed, but that wasn’t it. And you are …?
Ballmer’s Balls… hmm adds another dimension to Zune “squirting” but in both cases I wish Ballmer had kept them in his pants…
@ Sir Gill Bates
Mayhaps a village lost an idiot? I hear there’s a mass migration going on, actually. A few seem to be attracted to Mac sites like moths to a flame. They’ll crash and burn soon enough, too.
Oh, and pssst, got those pictures yet? Just don’t tell Chrissy One!
wtf!
What a waste of money!
Who would want that, it has no useful purpose at all.
I do have to say, you know – MS should keep this ‘research’ going!
Think about it… if money and time is being poured into grandiose projects and not into Windows, it benefits Apple in the long run.
Hell, the DoJ never needed to deal with MS at all, the company can marginalize itself just fine, thank you very much!
Ah comeon you must surely remember me. Im your biggest paint in the ass. I call you what you really are Koolaide guzzling mindless drones, so far up Jobs ass you cant see the light of day!!!
Oh and Chrissy will remember, so will Ampar, Shen …….
ahhh its good to be home….
Do you smell that…. ah yeah that undeniable smell of fear from Jobs, shitting his pants because he knows he cant keep up.
“I call you what you really are Koolaide guzzling mindless drones, so far up Jobs ass you cant see the light of day!!!”
Yeah, yeah. So what’s your point?
Andy,
Uh, I haven’t had the nerve to ask yet.
Have you ever watched one of those nature programs where the little male Black Widow spider is trying to put the moves on the big female. He’s gotta be real careful or he’s a goner.
I figure a little more buttering up is probably the prudent course of action. Hey, wanna try the old ‘good cop / bad cop routine’ again?
@ Sir Gill Bates
Doesn’t the female Black Widow bite the male’s head off after the deed anyway? At least it’s over quickly…
But I’m sure Chrissy One is worth the risk! We will prevail!
Andy,
I think the female praying mantis chews the males head off first while he’s still going at it. Ouch! The Black Widow just drains the innards out of the poor guy. Either way, it sure sucks being one of them. Not as bad as being a Vista user, but still …
“We will prevail!”
Exact quote from Jim Jones!!! You win a cookie
Oh and by the way the pray mantis bites the head off the male… the Black widow kills and eats there “lucky” partner. You be able to look that up if you werent so busy trying to keep your macs running.
Oh arent you a clever one not as bad as a Vista users…. just a moment,,, there it is …… nope not funny….
Crash,
Say what? So apparently, all the time you were away you were in a coma, eh Crash. Well, I have bad news buddy, yer not out of it yet. Can you spell ‘world’ backwards for me? It’s one of those comprehension things they do in the hospitals.
No can do? Just as I thought. Please go back and read the previous comments. Mine and yours. Read them verrry slowly.
See the one you made that stated: “Im your biggest paint in the ass.”
Now what kind of sick, demented shit is that Crash?
Please explain yourself. I’ll wait.
Crash,
And another thing:
” “We will prevail!”
Exact quote from Jim Jones!!! You win a cookie.”
So, you kept all the Kool-Aid for yourself?
@Not Bill
No, they stole Dreamcast to make X Box.
Microsoft Polyp®
Is it me or does this guy sound like Sid from Ice Age?
It would be a good teaching tool in schools and museums. But it looks like it infringes on Apple’s multi-touch patents.
don,
“Microsoft Polyp®”
That was great! I’ll be chuckling over that one for awhile.
Hmmm. It should probably be excised before it becomes cancerous.
Everybody sing!
I see a a progression here…
Table, Sphere,
Next-
Big Assed Sphincter. (It’ “winks” at you)
Well, a sphincter is pretty much a torus (ring, for the non-mathematically inclined) so with their progression of shapes, it may not be far off. This current one’s like a hemorrhoid that lost its grip on the asshole it was irritating.
As a novelty it looks like a few minutes of fun. Being able to zoom in like Google Earth would be good too but as for anything more practical and useful, I can’t see much use?
The person who suggested surface computing on the inside of a toilet bowl has struck on an unrealized gaming market. Imagine the possibilities!
Like… Battleship.
Little ships cruising around, and you have to pee them out of the water. “You sunk my battleship!”
I would definitely start drinking more beer if I could do this.
The person who suggested surface computing on the inside of a toilet bowl has struck on an unrealized gaming market. Imagine the possibilities!
Like… Battleship.
Little ships cruising around, and you have to pee them out of the water. “You sunk my battleship!”
I would definitely start drinking more beer if I could do this.
@ Kev Orng
You crapped on my battleship.
Bring it on.
What a HORRIBLE shape for a multitouch input device! about 50% of it will be inaccessable and unviewable to every user that comes across it.
With a sphere-shaped object like that, you can only use what you could see, which at any given time, could never be more than whatever hemispherical aspect is facing you, and even then, touching the parts you can see will be a challenge to perform comfortably for the areas that lie near/along the “visual edges” of the sphere. Repeat, the only useable surface area would be, at a theoretical and practical maximum, 50% of the sphere at any given time. a DOME.
And on top of that, it will most likely rest on the ground, or mounted on some kind of stand, which effectively cuts off visual/tactile access to the bottom sections, IN ADDITION to the limits i just described.
the only possible way i could see this being at all useful would be if it could be suspended magnetically at eye level, without stands or wires protruding from it (uh-oh, power source? you’ll need an ugly/unweildy cord coming out somewhere) for power, and even then the only application for it would be for a 3D Google Earth type presentation.
and forget about zooming in, i can’t in any way visualize how that would look on a 360º surface, but i imagine not too pretty.
So, yet again, M$ has a fun idea, and a spiffy prototype, but fails MISERABLY at its execution. There’s a reason why flat displays are the norm, and not displays with such extreme curves.
now my 2¢. if any hardware developer REALLY wanted to impress me, they’d do the same, but in the form factor of a cube (preferably with a tiny/no bezel around the edges. With that type of design, you could have 5 independent display surfaces that would be excellent in a classroom, lab, or workplace environment, as you could station 4 desks or chairs around it for multiple users.
such a multiple-user display device would be something that i can honestly see Apple working on, as it would actually simplify environments and solve problems instead of needlessly creating new ones without actually solving any to begin with. If anyone at Apple is reading, PLEASE do some R&D;on the idea. you’ll be walking into a goldmine ;D
– p.
They’ll soon get around to a mini iMax Screen, develop that into a helmet, which you can wear while on the subway. A new sport will develop: you carry around a baseball bat, wait for one of those spherical helmetheads to walk by, and WHACKO!
@karrde97
Apple has filed patents, doen’t mean they have them yet. Also, and more importantly, the technologies are vastly different, M$ using camera technology and Apple using sensor technoloy.
Oh boy, it has never been this hilarious to read the MDN Take and all the comments. No community can beat you in the art of being open-minded visionaries.
Let’s burn them up, these heretic touch-screens of unfamiliar shape and size!
And thank you for the entertainment, I hope it will continue to full four pages. Will check back later, so don’t hesitate to post your opinion on a sphere-shaped touch-screen from Microsoft, I will read them all.
Final analysis: What does PORN look like on it. Probably not good. Case closed – it’s dead.
“What does PORN look like on it.”
All the chicks appear to be pregnant.
That actually works for a lot of people.
Fun, geekish kind of toy in search of a reason to be. The “social” aspects of group interaction and muliple users hasn’t been clearly thought out and it actually has the down sides of multiple monitors while forcing people to huddle around a realatively small viewing area.
Seriously bad crap. There will be some cool interfaces in the future and a video ball might be one of them, just like a table will probably be one. But none of them are going to be like the stuff I’ve seen from MS.
They think making eye candy is the same as making useful stuff. They are trying very hard to be creative, but have NO clue.
@ Sir Gill Bates
I suppose the litmus test for the Big Ass Ball is if the porn industry adopts it.
Afterall, if it doesn’t work for porn, it doesn’t work for us consumers, either.
Andy,
That’s a big 10-4 buddy.
Little ships cruising around, and you have to pee them out of the water
Imagine a new kind of UI. Aim-and-pee versus point-and-click.
You crapped on my battleship
That’s for the aircraft carrier.
Microsoft also made a doughnut-shaped version, but Ballmer ate it.
At last M$ come clean.
As the man demonstrating the “sphere” said –
“WE CALL IT, SENT TO DARK-SIDE … IDEA”
Mathematically a sphere only has one side – Ipso facto, M$ is the dark-side.
Bring it on, you math nuts!
all microsoft is basically doing is showing the infinite possibilities with multi-touch/surface. This will most likely not make the home market but it has potential to be used from the government, Imagine it being used as a globe with google map technologys and being able to zoom in on countries or neighborhoods with just a simple hand gesture.
@Mac Boy Pro
a globe is not necessary for that type of zooming, and, if you’ll note from multiple past posts in this discussion (albeit that there are many) looking at a map on a globe is not better. The reason is, is that a sphere represents one size. When you zoom in on a globe, it is no longer a spheroid.
I’m as MacCentric as most on this board, but I have to admit that this looks like a great device. It can really be used for people with disabilities and has great potential for adding mobile simulations.
Come on, just because it’s from Microsoft doesn’t mean that we cannot say that the product looks half good.
/rick.
I think someone at Microsoft deserves a nice kick in their Big Ass Balls over this one.
Apparently Bill Gates left Ballmer in charge because he’s perhaps even more competitive than him (and also more of an ignorant douchebag). Ok, you guys officially have the monopoly on Big Ass Balls and Big Ass Tables, but what the f— does that matter if no one buys them? That’s even worse than the Zune project. Nowhere near a monopoly and still only a few buyers. More competitive when it comes to Windows and your other cash cow, but methinks you missed the train when it comes to entertainment and hardware, Bally boy.