“The world’s richest man Bill Gates is considering a possible flight into space, a Russian cosmonaut said from International Space Station Wednesday, citing Gates’ colleague, current space tourist Charles Simonyi,” AFP reports.
“‘Charles said that Bill Gates is also preparing to visit space,’ cosmonaut Fyodor Yurchikhin told journalists during a video link-up from the space station, broadcast on state television Rossiya,” AFP reports.
AFP reports, “Simonyi, who made his fortune at Microsoft, is the fifth tourist to travel to the ISS, following the United States’ Dennis Tito in 2001 and Greg Olsen in 2005, South Africa’s Mark Shuttleworth in 2002, and a US citizen of Iranian origin, Anousheh Ansari in 2006. Space Adventures plans to expand its offerings next year to include a 100-million-dollar trip around the moon…”
Full article here.
One way, please — and take Ballmer with you, if they make rockets big enough. Now Billy can put his money where his mouth is and make sure that the onboard life support systems are run by Windows Vista. That’d give new meaning to “hasta la Vista, baby,” huh?
On second thought, leave Uncle Fester here. Someone’s gotta stay to go down with the Microsoftanic.
Put him on the Shuttle. NASA has almost perfected blowing up astronauts.
If I could do it, i would. No second guesses about it. Despite all the Hell that is Windows…. Go for it Bill…I would.
The MDN take was funny. When I saw the headline, I was thinking the same thing, take Ballmer on a one way trip to the gamma quadrant (or where ever the trekkies go). Seriously, though, have fun in space and watch out for the space debris.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Can you IMAGINE a rocket being flown by Bill Gates and ‘powered’ by Windows Vista? It’s probably end up 150m underground.
Go on Bill, do it! If it’s with the Russians, the launch will be handled by a pirated copy of Windows 95!
@ Twisted Mac Freak,
thats totally disrespectful of those who lost their lives in the name of science. Just goes to show that some people have no sense of decency.
Maybe he could stay in space if he goes.
Turtle Boy just wants to check the software licenses on the ISS.
This sounds like it should be the start of ‘Bill & Festers Excellent Adventure’.
Maybe they should get out of the computer business and into the space business?
Now, lets see – they’d need a snappy, original name for this new company…
…how about Ass-A. That’s quite original, and sounds nothing like any other space related organisation.
And maybe they could develope chair-shaped rockets? With Orbital Booster-cusions…
“In space… no one can hear you re-boot…”
Ballmer will not fit within the Soyuz seat envelope. Only about 2/3 of the NASA astronaut corps can fly on the Soyuz.
But will he have to wear diapers? I want to see that picture!
i think he just wants to get closer to god and ask for his help for his idiotic company.
S’funny, but people have been saying for years “Redmond, we have a problem…”
OMG, that accompanying image is fsckin’ hilarious – you guys even have a BSOD in the background!
ROTFLMFAO!
Isn’t there ENOUGH space junk in orbit already?
Maybe Gates and Ballmer can get a package deal. One-way tickets should be cheaper
@KingMel
So he goes up as cargo, it’s not like he actually needs life support at this stage.
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Couldn’t that money be better spent saving humanity.
GATES: “Houston, we have a problem here.”
HOUSTON: “Try pressing control alt delete.”
Shouldn’t Bill Gates wait for Steve Jobs to do this first?
Billy & Ballmy on a one way trip in space…..
The aliens will never forgive us!
O well…..
I think this is the moment I should start to put asside some money for that lovely heatseaking, surface-to-air missile…..kaboom…. “WOW”….
MacB
I think the titan rocket has been discontinued so it could be difficult to lift Ballmer’s ass into orbit.
MDN, I’m shocked! If he were to take Ballmer with him, and something bad happened, MS might end up with leadership that knows what it’s doing. I wouldn’t want Apple to have to go up against Microsoft while they still have their IT monopoly, still have loads of cash, and have competent leadership!
10…
9…
8…
7…
6…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
LIFT-OFF – Allow or Deny?
Don’t bother with rockets for launching Ballmer into space. Just give him enough chili and he’ll launch himself into deep space.
Heatseeking….bah..stupid dutchie…
Man, you guys took all the good lines already! 🙁
I wonder how far MonkeyBoy could throw a chair zero gravity.
Always a follower/imitator — never a leader
Ground control to Major Bill,
Your PC’s dead, there’s no DLL
Can you reboot, Major Bill?
Can you reboot, Major Bill?
@scottm4321
Gates – But I have a blue screen with a whole bunch of cryptic code on my terminal?
Houston – We don’t know how to help you. Maybe you should have put Macs in instead.
Danger, Will Robinson, danger!
“We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is…hold the line, <muffled>what, the company that developed Windows? no, you’re right – that’s probably not the distinctiveness that we want. It was called Bob</muffled>. It’s OK, you’re free to go…
Good test – what could an empty brain in a vacuum possibly think about.
On order: extra small helmet with neck extension.
Do us all a favor, make the faceplate opaque from the outside.
There’s enough viruses in the ISS, but this would be a whopper.
Nerds in Space!
I hope for him the spacecraft is not running Windows…!
He wants to be the first human to get an exclusive licensing agreement with aliens in order to finally screw the human race once and for all.
Bartsimpsonhead…”Bill & Festers Excellent Adventure”
LOL…that’s funny!
Maybe Bill’s getting on a secret mission to investigate a mysterious black monolith seen orbiting Jupiter’s moon, Io?
Imagine his dissapointment when he discovers its an black alien iPod!
My God. It’s full of UNIX.
-d
MW: ‘science’
I have this image of Ballmer doing the Homer Simpson zero gravity thing where he’s eating potato chips while the Blue Danube Waltz plays in the background.
Wait, doesn’t he have to come back from space first?
“The Vista-controlled vehicle you are riding in has encountered a virus and is about to explode. Preparing to eject you into the cold vacuum of space. Cancel or Allow?”
The g’s experienced during lift off will stap his neck like a pencil.
There once was a guy called Bill,
Who went into space for a thrill
The rocket fell from the sky
Ground control heard a cry
Press Control, Alt delete before we’re landfill.
…this is tooooo easy
Groundcontrol has Vista….
10….9………..8…..uhhhhmm….7..?………uuuuhhmm….arrghh……6…maybe?……….uhmmm…..aarrghhhhhh….????…..help……….5…………………………………………………….cancel or allow?…………
so they never going to make it….
Not that Bill needs any of my money, but I’d gladly pay to have him and his OS sent into space with no return trajectory. Absolutely
@Gil
GATE: “I thought we wouldn’t need to upgrade to run Vista! BALMERRRR!!”
HOUSTON: “Balmer? Sorry Bill, that monkey went up years ago. Try that Control Alt Thingy again. Oh yeah, do you know anything about BIOS?”
Can’t he just wait until 2063? The year that ya’ll go warp speed and meet us Vulcans?
LL&P,
One of your better responses MacDaily…….
Baller can’t go though…….no room for the monkey dance. Plus, he’d wreck the inside of the space capsule throwing stuff.
Jim: well, in 1988 Russians had Buran flying and landing completely without human control — this is exactly because programmers were not like Gates’ colleagues at NASA which could not solve the task of fully computerized flights then and they still can not do it now. So Gates would be launched successfully in Soyuz. The real danger would be cosmonauts which spent much time at they work and homes fighting with various Windows versions.
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scottm4321: that should be Korolev, not Houston.
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The only way to shut off the rocket engines is to hit the launch button.
It’s actually going to be a peacekeeping mission. We’re shipping him off into interplanetary space where he’s fair game. The aliens said it was either that, or they blow up earth for creating Windows ME, Vista, 2k, 95, 98, 3.1, well just plain Windows in general, and the Zune as well as Microsoft Bob. So really, he’s a philanthropist after all.
Gates will stare long and hard at the Earth from an ISS portal.
And just before climaxing, he’ll croak, “IT’S ALL MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! ! !”
Be afraid.
One way ticket
Letter to Bill Gates,
Dear Mr. Gates, I read your considering a trip in space aboard our faboulus Russian space rocket.
I write to you to please don’t even consider such a thing.
Our rockets are not powered by your software, but our national spam botnet based economy is.
If a accident occurs and the rocket lands in Redmond Washington USA, it will wipe out all life there.
This would be terrible for us.
Thank you.
PharaMaster
(big time Russian botnet herder)
Hmmm maybe this is just a big commie conspiracy—they plan to get the world’s richest thief and give him due
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Funniest thread at MDN. Ever. Starting from the story itself with that pic.
It’s one-upsmanship to the nth degree. Jobs will be hoping for disaster so bad he’d convert to whatever he isn’t now. If Gates goes through with the stunt, Jobs would be crushed. Doing it himself would only be “me too,” even if he tries to get the jump on Gates. And if he did do it first, it might be a plot by Gates.
The only thing that could possibly be on the same scale would be Jobs running for president of the U.S. and winning.
Without a word in the story changing, the headline should read: Jobs to Run for President.
In space no one can hear your zune… apparently the same goes on earth too!
The capsule crash lands on the moon. Gates and Ballmer busily try to reboot the launch computers, but all they get are sad-looking Macs on the computer terminals.
Gates: What’s up with this? I thought we had sold the Russians Vista and all the while they’ve been using Mac System 9? Aaargh!
Steve Jobs (cracklin’ voice over the radio): Ah! Revenge is a dish best served cold, Bill.
Gates (shaking his fist at the heavens): Joooooooooooooobs! (the name echos into the ether).
Soyuz: “Houston, we have your problem here”
They are worrying about space debris… but Bill in space will just be more space junk…
Lost in Space staring Billy Mummy… Billy Gates! Who the hell will be Smith? Some bumbling idiot called Ballmer maybe?
This would be Bill’s only truly useful product launch…. getting Gates off the planet.
Mee-ga, Gatesa, bigga booma inna de koopadup capuscule. Inna da oramibitun! WEEEEEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEEE! Ohmamia! Go downandown! Go inna bigga BIGGA boom! CHAIR! CHAAAAAIR!
Maybe Bill’s looking for ways to return Monkeyboy Bulmer to The Planet of the Apes?
[the first words ever spoken by a human to the apes]
George Taylor (aka Gates): Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
Maybe he can finally get a decent haircut in zero gravity. I wonder if he’ll piss on the bus tires continuing the Gagarin tradition?
One article I read said that Simonyi took an MP3 player up with him. It didn’t say if it was an iPod, Zune, or other. Anyone know which player he has?
DenisRS
true didn’t think of that. I’ve read a lot about Buran too, it ‘s kind of strange to think that the Russians had a shuttle also. I don’t beleive they had the life support systems working at the time of the flight. They built a couple more but i think they were damaged when a roof collapsed on them. It’s a shame, they sould be in a museum some where, so people could appreciate them.
priceless picture
To curious:
Re: mp3 player brand. I couldn’t find it. It might be undisclosed deliberately.
“I am bringing up a lot of camera equipment and a lot of blank tapes and cassettes,” said Simonyi, who has also brought an MP3 player with over 1,600 tracks loaded “all legally” with classical and rock music.”
You could ask him yourself at:
http://www.charlesinspace.com/
Ballmer would give a whole new meaning to the term, “black hole”.
@ MacDailyNews Take:
Now Billy can put his money where his mouth is and make sure that the onboard life support systems are run by Windows Vista. That’d give new meaning to “hasta la Vista, baby,” huh?
Last Will and Testament:
I, William Henry Gates III, give absolutely nothing to anyone or anything.
Gates might say: “I searched and I searched, Houston, but no one sent my money in a second rocket.”
@ Steve Ball-me-more
Mee-ga, Gatesa, bigga booma inna de koopadup capuscule. Inna da oramibitun! WEEEEEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEEE! Ohmamia! Go downandown! Go inna bigga BIGGA boom! CHAIR! CHAAAAAIR!
The monkey tries to speak.
Thank you for your support, and remember that Microsoft’s <a > flash-based Zune design</a> will include an extremely weak lightbulb as the main component.
Lemme try that link again:
Thank you for your support, and remember that Microsoft’s flash-based Zune design will include an extremely weak lightbulb as the main component.
Gates isn’t that bad a guy anymore. His soul crushing legacy has been passed on to Ballmer and now he mostly give money to Malaria patients. Besides, if Gates did leave, who would we pick on? …Sony? Ha-ha-ha *don’t waste my time.
Billy & Ballmy on a one way trip in space…..
The aliens will never forgive us!
Imagine Ballmer in an alien museum someplace, and featured in the Earth exhibit.
I’m embarrassed already…
Houston: Houston, to shuttle one. We are authorized to go with launch.
Gates: Oh, boy.
Houston: By the way, we just installed Vista on all our PCs in mission control.
Gates: Gulp.
[Insert sound of loud banging on shuttle door and screaming.]
rofl!
Put Billy G on a one way rocket headed into the Sun.
OK, Windows stinks and Bill Gates was largely responsible for it’s architectural mistakes and bullying PC makers into not using alternatives. He is a bad guy.
But why is there so much wishing him to die a violent death? Will this hatred bring more users to the Mac? The vile being spewed in this thread is a poor reflection on Mac users.
@Think before you hate
Answer to question one: Because it’s fun to imagine.
Answer to question two: I dunno. Maybe?
Are you one of those freaks who really wishes he could control the way everyone thought? I mean, come on now. Do you really think these admitedly childish expressions are meant to express a real desire?
And I might be a little judgemental in this next iteration, but from the tone I would say you are a liberal? And as a liberal, haven’t you wanted to express your dislike of GW viloently? Hmmm? C’mon now, be honest.
Gates hopes to contact the advanced alien species that provided Apple with digital technologies.
I hope he finds a giant iPod beyond Jupiter.
MW: monolith (just kidding)
@ Stab.
That’s Liberal, with a capitol L.
What does viloently mean?
Billy in a space helmet
Funniest image since Dukakis in the tank!
bye !
Actually, funniest was watching GW “wield” a hammer.
That’s about as far away as he can get if he looking for a safe place to wait for M$’s demise and end times!
Wonder what he know that the rest of us regular guys don’t have a clue about?
Microsoft in space?
Anyone ever see “Spaceballs”?
You get the idea…
Why all the ruckus… he lives already behind the moon, and Ballmer is already a Spacemonkey. So, what’s the news? Like vista, nothing but hot air and flying chairs.
MDN MW: gives
who gives a furry rats ass
The doors shut.
A voice on the radio.
Houston: Wellcome Bill, welcome to the new iPod Shuttle!
Vista-based life support system: We have encountered a virus. Shut down eminent. Cancel or allow?
Bill Gates: Cancel dammit!
VBLSS (I know, I’m lazy): Unrecognized voice command. Let’s try again. Cancel or allow.
Bill Gates: Cancel
VBLSS (in best voice from 2001: A Space Odyssey): I’m sorry Bill, I can’t let you do that. Now shutting down all life support systems. Approximate time to reboot: 3 minutes. Goodbye Bill. *BSOD*
Bill Gates: Hoisted by my own petard.
Dave Bowman.
For –
… “My God. It’s full of UNIX.”
And the runner up is
MCCFR
“We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is…hold the line, <muffled>what, the company that developed Windows? no, you’re right – that’s probably not the distinctiveness that we want. It was called Bob</muffled>. It’s OK, you’re free to go…
Pigs in space!
Spock, what’s a moonberg?
Couldn’t that money be better spent saving humanity. (?)
No, spending money to save humanity is a total waste.
Some of these comments are a new low for MDN and some of the posters here. Twisted Mac Freak, way to shame the name of Mac users.
Space is Back to reality for Bill !
Bite me, Real IT Guy.
@Stab the Man (the Surreal One)
Wow, that is the first time in my life I have been called a liberal. I voted for George Bush 4 times (twice for father, twice for son) with no regrets. Sure Mr. Bush has flaws, but he is still far better than the alternatives of Mr Gore or Mr. Kerry.
I don’t think everyone is serious about killing Bill Gates but I don’t see the sport in fantasizing about it.
I am not trying to control other people’s thoughts. I didn’t say not to hate Bill Gates, just to think about it before you do. I think people should take responsibility and control their own thoughts.
Wow, Think, the way you state it here, I could almost agree with you, though I balk at the idea of “controlled” thoughts, even self-controlled. It makes me think, “Gee, maybe I shouldn’t be thinking this,” or, “What is wrong with me thinking this?”
I’d be inclined to rephrase your last statement, in my own way of thought, as, “I think people should take responsiblity for the focus of their thoughts.”
If someone were all day long thinking of ways Bill Gates (or anyone for that matter) could die, then I’d say they needed to sit down and reconsider their focus in life. I see what’s happening here as unfocused release. Sophmoric humor is fun. I’m thinking of Animal House now and that type of humor born of the pressures of higher education.
Apology for the political label, but when the words “thought” and “control” are used in the same sentence, my hackles rise.
Bill Gates’ shuttle crashes on take off due to Windows error.