A couple on the south side of Chicago gave their 12-year-old daughter a Microsoft Zune from Wal-Mart.
No, we don’t know what the girl did to deserve such a hideous punishment. And, believe it or not, it gets worse. How is that even possible, you ask?
Well, it seems the Zune had already been returned at least once (big surprise), but it came with a whole lot more than an instruction manual, according to MyFox Chicago.
Is an almost two-hour-long homosexual orgy video on an already-returned open-box device that nobody wants high atop your 12-year-old daughter’s Christmas wish list? Then the Wal-Mart on Chicago’s south side eagerly awaits your visit.
We’ll leave the “squirt” jokes to you. Full video report here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Sketchtrain” for the heads up.]
Related articles:
RealMoney’s Comeau predicts: ‘Microsoft will kill the first Zune media player by midyear’ – December 16, 2006
Desperation time? Microsoft Zune already being discounted by retailers – December 13, 2006
Microsoft Zune plummets to 5th place in U.S. digital media player market share with 2.1 percent – December 04, 2006
Analysts: Microsoft needs to ‘rethink’ as interest in Zune fades fast – December 01, 2006
Amazon’s bestselling MP3 players list chronicles Microsoft Zune dud – November 20, 2006
Opinion: More blood on Apple iPod’s Click Wheel: Microsoft pulls plug on Zune – July 25, 2006
It’s not a MSFT thing or a sub contractor. The parents bought an “opened” box of a zune. It could just of easily been done with an iPod but some how it’s fitting that this story was squirted first.
Unsurprisingly, store chains, even like Walmart, operate differently from neighborhood to neighborhood. One neighborhood may have a clean, well-managed store with easy listening music playing, and friendly employees, another will have a messy store, that plays rap, where you can never find any stock of anything, or an employee who is rude when they finally show up. I go to 3 local Gamestops to buy used games ($10 sure beats $60) and one store ALWAYS is missing at least one game I bring to the counter, and its always a mess on the floor, and always understaffed. I woulda written corporate a long time ago, but obviously if they have district managers, they know already. The Walmart is probably a ‘problem’ store where all sorts of foolishness occurs, and the only resolve for more trivial issues, is shop in a different town.
“Apple should very publicly provide this girl with an iPod.”
Yeah. But with straight porn for gosh sakes.
the parents did exactly what any decent loving parents would do. This has nothing to do with their ethnicity. I am appalled by your ignorance. I think that all of your racist jokes should be left inside your puny little ignorant brains. Stop posting your racist comments.
Now, that’s a Show and Tell the class will remember.
Gay porn on a Zune!
Who knew Microsoft would be marketing to Mac users when the Zune won’t even work on a Mac?
Welcome to the social, Mac users.
She got zuned, indeed.
Now does this mean Zune Tang must change his moniker to Zune Thong?
what racist jokes? i didn’t read anything about race. maybe you’re the racist who attributes certain “linguistic charactaristics” to a race, but i don’t.
That mom looks more like a Chunnel than a Chanell.
Zune Tang may say ” see? even the Zune can do porns! Microsoft is the shitz!” :p
Seen around MS headquarters:
Steve Ballmer clapping his hands and stomping is feet to the beat of…
“Pornographers, Pornographers, Pornographers, Pornographers!”
So. Either journalists and bloggers have 3 free ones each or you buy a “NEW” one and get the gay porn orgy.
The jokes write themselves with Microsoft.
Congratulations jallard@microsoft.com Top job.
And how do you know she didn’t ask for it that way? Dammit, I wish I had been in a union.
maclover : I have to say that I’m offended by easy-listening music, especially the muzacked version of a really great song. You’ve heard it, you know it. The person who did that deserves to have that gay porn Zune superglued to their face and forced to watch reruns of Barney while listening to the crap that they made us hear and making our lives a little bit poorer by destroying a beautifully written song by turning it into a whitebread boring “family-safe” trite piece of crap. Screw you easy-listeners, If I wanted easy listening I’d pay a Norwegian black metal band to beat Kenny G. with a Zune. That’s easy-listening. Or I’d go buy Damien Rice’s new CD.
I find the mother’s response funny. ‘What do you tell a twelve year old about a homosexual orgy?” She’s twelve, not five. She probably knows more about sex than they realize. If she was 14 or 15, they probably wouldn’t have gotten the Zune back without her watching it once or twice.
Just tell her…
(1) When your old enough to have sex (way after your teen years, despite what your hormones and friends will tell you), never ever video tape or photograph yourself having sex. It will come back to haunt. Don’t believe the boyfriend or girlfriend who would persuade you to do so;
(2) Don’t ever do Girls Gone Wild;
(3) revisit 2, really just don’t;
(4) If you decide to videotape yourself having sex—please secure the videotape and or digital files (cause I will talk about your whoring ways if word gets out);
(5) Don’t expect any boyfriend who’s not gay to perform, this move, or that move, definitely not that one, maybe this… anyway, expect things to be a bit tamer when you start having sex;
(6) Do you want to address the issue of size, your kind of young, we can do that later;
(7) I understand if right now your thinking lesbianism is a good way to go, but you have your college years to decide, just remember rules (1), (2), and (3);
any questions???
After thousands of ‘Refreshed’ ipods have been sold, none have anything like this. Why you ask, its quite simple…..Apple actually hooks them up and refreshes them before re-selling them…….that’s the difference in quality between the two companies.
The title of the video on the Zune:
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Starring … Steve Ballme, Zune Tang, J.Allard, Enderle and Dvorak
First, Buster, you should have taken the time to erase the contents of your Zune before you returned it. What you do in the privacy of your own home is none of our business. All I ask is that you think of the children.
Second, what I find incredible is that someone returned a Zune! Once you hold that brown baby in your hand, it’s yours. The WiFi, the FM, the points, I mean c’mon!
Welcome to the Social.
Sadly (for the sake of jokes anyway), the Zune appears to be black not brown. =(
So much for gay men having better taste!
grow up people
it seems obvious that none of you have mother’s nor sisters from the comments here. It is a kid that has been exposed to less than ideal images. And you wonder how come kids grow up t work for MS –
MDN magi word: volume, as – the majority of the posts here speak volumes of the posters
ever wondered why balmer’s tongue is always showing?
those guys shouldn’t be having sex on a zune!!! its not their fault….
Did you notice the orientation of the video on the screen?
(no, not sexual orientation)
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”tongue wink” style=”border:0;” />
So much for Zunes “larger” screen, the video was vertical on a horizontal screen and only used about one third of it.
Homosexual Orgy…
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”raspberry” style=”border:0;” />
Welcome to the Social
Okay ZT, I confess. I should have erased it but I was so upset after finding out you gave me a used Zune that I forgot.
Randy…yeah right…none of us have mothers (well maybe Zune Tang). What are we going to do…cry? Whine about the horror? It cannot be undone so I prefer to see the humor in it.
Loosen up. Man some people are such tight asses (whoops…that is the wrong thing to say in this thread).
P.S. That was another joke for the humor-challenged people here