Can Microsoft do anything original?  Redmond behemoth issues ‘mysterious’ invite to reporters

“A big technology company is inviting reporters to an event in San Francisco next week, saying only that its well-known leader will use the occasion to show off its latest technologies,” Todd Bishop reports for The Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “No, Apple isn’t planning to introduce another iPod — at least not as far as we know. This time around, the mysterious invitation is from Microsoft Corp., which declined to elaborate on what Bill Gates will say next Tuesday during the ‘technology preview’ at San Francisco’s Palace Hotel.”

“Ozzie’s scheduled appearance with Gates is fueling speculation that next week’s event could bring more specifics about its online initiatives,” Bishop reports. “With online services, many software functions can be delivered over a network, from a central location. But even as it expands into that area, Microsoft isn’t abandoning its traditional PC software, stored on a desktop computer. Even with its online services, analysts believe Microsoft will still require some components to be installed on the desktop machine.”

Bishop reports, “Earlier this month, Apple teased reporters with a vague e-mail invitation to an event where it ultimately unveiled a video-enabled version of its iPod music player. But it remains to be seen whether Microsoft’s cryptic invitation will help it generate buzz anywhere near the level of an iPod unveiling. ‘Apple seems to have done very well recently with these mysterious announcements,’ said Joe Wilcox, a Jupiter Research analyst. ‘Maybe Microsoft is hoping it can do likewise.'”

Full article here.

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Fueling speculation? Where? For whom? With what? Online services that will require some components to be installed locally. Ooooh. Yawn. Surely Enderle, Thurrott, Scoble and the like can barely contain themselves. “Lookie, lookie, we got a ‘mysterious invitation’ from Sir Gates!” How innovative! How original! How sad. Somebody get on the horn and ask The New York Times, “Is imitation flattery, theft or just coincidence?”

Are there Microsoft-run checkpoints surrounding the entire Redmond area where you’re required to check your imagination, creativity, and originality before entering? Can you get that stuff back when you leave? If so, certainly a fee is involved.

Back to the massive excitement: you think Gates will blue screen just once or multiple times? It’ll go nicely with the red curtains. Hopefully Uncle Fester will be on-hand to dance, scream and sweat; popping a light bulb in his mouth as Microsoft’s “One More Thing,” of course. (Jobs should trademark that phrase pronto.) Even better would be a Steve Ballmer vs. Bobby Knight biathlon death match featuring “chair-throwing-for-distance” plus “expletive-shouting-for-decibels.” Hey, maybe they’re bringing back towels for employees?! That would probably be more exciting than whatever they’re planning to drone on about.

Related MacDailyNews articles:
Microsoft suffers from malaise, key defections, Windows Vista struggles, lack of towels – September 16, 2005
Chair hurling Microsoft CEO Ballmer: ‘I’m going to f—ing kill Google’ – September 03, 2005

56 Comments

  1. Now I wonder who they would have ripped this technique off of??? It seems I have heard of it before but I can’t quite place it in my head…

    And people settle for this sort of junk. They should just switch to OS X and forget about Micro$oft and Windoze.

  2. We are not un-original – Apple stole this idea from us. We were the first ones to do “mystery” announcements from San Francisco – Apple only started doing it after Steve Jobs went to one of our secret press events.

  3. Didn’t some already post that they have some sort of Enterprise level software that they are releasing soon? Unlikely that they have any new hardware, unless they are going to spring the X-box early. New media center? Yawn.

    I’m sure there will be plenty of seatin available.

  4. Bill Gates to change name

    Tuesday, October 25, 2005 – 05:13 PM EST

    In a revolutionary new move Microsoft CEO will be changing his name to Bill Jobs. According to Mr. Jobs “it’s the only thing left to steal”

  5. GATES ANNOUNCES:

    “I’m having a 300 lb. tumor removed from my ass: Steve Balmer. Why? Because when he bounces up and down on stage screaming like a fat, bald, alien kangaroo on PCP, it really really hurts.”

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