“Two years after it took the ax to a range of employee benefits, Microsoft is introducing new perks for its staff. The plan, known as MyMicrosoft, was unveiled to the Redmond, Wash., masses this week,” Jo Best reports for CNET News. “It also revealed that ‘the towels are back,’ referring to the popular towel-laundering service for sweaty staff washing at work after exercising or cycling in to campus, a perk that was axed in the benefits cull in 2004. Those cutbacks followed a call by Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer for the software giant to make $1 billion worth of cuts. At the time, he warned that even Microsoft’s free soda policy was under review… Now, after a series of high-profile defections, including that of Kai-Fu Lee, who founded Microsoft’s Chinese Labs, to Google, Microsoft is reversing its earlier stance.”
Full article here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Sketchtrain” for the heads up.]
MacDailyNews Take: That’ll fix everything. We know why they’re really sweating in Redmond now, don’t we? Seriously, forget the towels, they’re all going to need new underpants soon.
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Microsoft suffers from malaise, key defections, Windows Vista struggles, lack of towels – September 16, 2005
HAHAHAHHAHAaaa ah sigh
FOOLS! All of them.
The towels are to mop up the TEARS!
Their benefits are still way better than Apple’s, so I would not laugh, monkey boys.
I work at Apple’s Austin offices and benefits from Apple include occasional free popcorn and nachos. Whoopie!!!!!!
anybody wanna get high?
I guess I can cotton to that. MS was taking a bath.
The employees dished the dirt and wanted to terry apart the place before they fold. Nice blanket statement. It’s a wash, I guess. Hand it to ’em?
towelie, hahahah. good one!
Too bad they can’t ship in consciouses, integrity, and perfectionism to the Redmond, Wash. masses along with the towels.
towelie: ‘ere. <holding breath>
Free towel with every copy of Vista.
You’re going to need one to dry the tears when you find out the upgrades your computer will need to run the premium version.
They copy Tiger and need more RAM, CPU speed and a more powerful video card than Tiger needs just to run the copy. They copy and they still can’t get it right.
>Tom Strong–I work at Apple’s Austin offices and benefits from Apple include occasional free popcorn and nachos. Whoopie!!!!!!>
If you don’t like it, work somewhere else. You’re like the schoolkids of today. “Where’s my breakfast. Where’s my lunch?”
You get paid to work and contribute, not snack.
Free popcorn is just an opc away from free porn. I have no idea what that means. We still love snacks.
I think the towels are for Steve Ballmer after one of his tirades or sweaty developers chant.
Also, Towelie,
TOO DAMN FUNNY!!!
>Tom Strong–Hopefully you were smart enough to buy Apple stock a year or two ago, now that’s a benefit!
Judging by the famous videos of Balmer towels are a must in the MS premises.
Ampar,
Or a “pco”. Think about it.
I thought it meant Microsoft Management was throwing in the towel!
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”tongue wink” style=”border:0;” />
I can think of one group of people who can’t stand Microsoft’s bad press and are praying Apple gains lots of market share:
developers, developers, developers, developers
You guys wanna get a little high?
“Seriously, forget the towels, they’re all going to need new underpants soon.”
Damn you MDN!! LOL, now I need new underpants. Excuse me.
Too true, Cubert. But what I mourn is the lack of self-referential contradictions. We call it maize.
Free towels?
Now they have something to throw in.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”smile” style=”border:0;” />
Right on the money Ron.
Today it’s all about the individual. These guys get paid wages just like the rest of us. They should buy their own towels and snacks. If they want to exercise on the companys time, go join the Army!
Leo
It’s understandable that Ballmer would insist on all those cutbacks of frivolous benefits such as clean towels in 2004. Microsoft only had $2.69 billion in profits that year.
Towels distributed in Redmond, May 2006. Vista released ahead of schedule, August 2006. Never under estimate the power of a rectangular cotton cloth, people.
So where’s “Tom Cruise” telling us we don’t know the history of towels?
Methinks this is more than just towels — it’s to keep more of the rats from jumping the sinking ship…
adding benefits means a company is doing well… i don’t get it. anyway, GO APPLE!! I can’t wait to check out the 5th avenue store.
PS I hope MDN doesn’t delete this becaue it is off topic…. they said they would earlier today.
I hear the free office chair replacement service is being re-established.
So that’s what’s been wrong with Redmond… they haven’t known where their towels were.
Oprah – “Your a towel!”
Towelie – “no your a towel”
– SouthPark, season 10, episode 5
How does this have anything to do with Mac. Isn’t this Mac Daily News. I don’t get it. You guys are idiots all of you
I’m surprised MDN didn’t use that pic of a sweat-soaked Uncle Fester.
If it’s an order from Microsoft, them towels will come with holes to make ’em quick-drying.
MW: hang the cost.
apple´s don´t crash???
http://www.notebookreview.com/default.asp?newsID=2946
the review MDN will never link to.
How does this have anything to do with Mac
—
It’s freakin hilarious. Get a sense of humor.
And, oh yeah, Microsoft is actually the company that makes Windows.. which… sort of.. competes with OS X.
Towels? please.
What we need here at Microsoft is cowbell, more cowbell, lots and lots of cowbell.
Tom Cruise. You don’t know the history of snacks, I do. Belch.
national
MyMicrosoft? Can’t they come up with ONE original idea? I’m half surprised they didn’t call it iMicrosoft.
Such a chuckle to laugh at a company that, as a competitor continues to completely dominate you in terms of marketshare, profits, and revenues, and uses a 5 year old operating system to do it.
Makes sense that your focus would be on towels.
Artisticulated…bravo!
Tom Strong,
It takes more than towels, popcorn, and nachos to make good software.
Ballmer HAS to go. Textbook bad management is thinking you can cut billions in overhead by literally saving pennies, and then thinking you can restore employee morale by giving those pennies back. Bill Ford could run MS better.
But then again, let’s keep Ballmer at the top of MS, and give him total of everything.
Apple couldn’t ask for someone better.
er total of = total control of.
“How does this have anything to do with Mac. Isn’t this Mac Daily News. I don’t get it. You guys are idiots all of you”
And yet you read the story and took the time to comment on it.
Just move on.
Makes sense that your focus would be on towels.
It’s called grasping at straws. Ballmer has no clue what he’s doing.
I wouldn’t be surprised if MyMicrosoft involves new-style stationery and trendy office carpet colors. Thing’s that’ll really give them an edge over Apple…
ed:
“I know size can be daunting, but don’t be afraid… I love you!”
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/happyfeet/trailer1/
MDN: Microsoft Daily News…
Bring back the Mac!
Static said:
Oprah – “Your a towel!”
Towelie – “no your a towel”
– SouthPark, season 10, episode 5
Don’t misquote the show Static. The word is “YOU’RE” not “your”.
Also, quote Cartman, not Oprah:
“Cartman:I can preach to you all I want ’cause you’re stupid!
Towelie:You’re stupid!
Cartman: You’re a towel!
Towelie:You’re a towel!”
Thanks MDN,
I love that picture.
“Their benefits are still way better than Apple’s, so I would not laugh, monkey boys.
I work at Apple’s Austin offices and benefits from Apple include occasional free popcorn and nachos. Whoopie!!!!!!”
Apple’s stock options are doing better than Microsoft’s though.
The cut the towels because they were all flicking each other in the hallways.
Boo hoo to Tom and Mark- be it M$ or Apple’s freebees. Most workers get absolutely nothing in perks, not even a bonus. Well, we do get free coffee where I am. Whoopie. And it’s not good gourmet by any means! UGH!
Microsoft may have thought it fair to offer soiled towel service to their employees once, long ago…but 9/11 changed everything.