In wake of London stabbing rampage, will Apple replace their knife emoji with a plastic spork?

By Lucas Tamborelli

“An American woman in her 60s was knifed to death and five others injured during a bloodbath attack carried out by a Norwegian-Somali man in central London last night,” Michelle Higgins, Jonny Byrne and Danny Collins report for The Sun. “Witnesses described victims ‘screaming and covered in blood’ following the rampage in which the woman was brutally knifed by a man around 10.30pm.”

“Other terrified onlookers described the crazed knifeman chasing pedestrians and ‘lunging for anyone he could see’ as police confirmed mental health was a likely factor,” Higgins, Byrne and Collins report. “A 19-year-old man was arrested at the scene after being tasered by police in Russell Square.”

“Those injured were British, Australian, Israeli and another American,” Higgins, Byrne and Collins report. “Fernando, 40, a paralegal from Brazil, said: “I was cycling by and people screamed at me to stop… ‘She had been stabbed in the back. She was bleeding. There was an English man who was white, I’d say around 45. He had been stabbed in the side. Then there was another lady. I didn’t know her nationality but I think she was white. She was in her twenties. She had been stabbed in her arm.'”

A forensic officer examines what is believed to be the knife used in the attack last night (photo: The Sun)
A forensic officer examines what is believed to be the knife used in the attack last night (photo: The Sun)

 
So, in the wake of this horrific London stabbing rampage, will Apple do what they obviously believe to be the Right Thing To Do™ and replace their evil knife emoji in iOS with an innocuous plastic spork?

iOS knife, bomb, and sword emoji
iOS knife, bomb, and sword emoji
I’m just asking for the sake of consistency, Apple. I mean, if you’re going to replace a gun cartoon with a squirt gun cartoon, surely you should replace your knife cartoon with a plastic spork cartoon, right, geniuses?

Oh, and after you save the world from cartoon knives, you might want to work on those cartoon bombs, swords, and other assorted “dangerous” cartoons you’ve still got there, m’kay?

Current handgun emoji (left) and Apple's replacement, a green squirt gun (right)
Current handgun emoji (left) and Apple’s replacement, a green squirt gun (right)
By the way, most CEOs of major companies have private security details for protection. In fact, Apple spent $699,133 on personal security for chief executive Tim Cook in 2014 alone. I wonder if Tim Cook’s personal security team are armed with green plastic squirt guns?

Enjoy sliding down your slippery slope, Apple execs! Hopefully, the end result will be to knock some common sense into your heads.

The views and opinions expressed in this article by Lucas Tamborelli are those of Lucas Tamborelli’s and do not necessarily reflect those of MacDailyNews.

114 Comments

  1. ” I wonder if Tim Cook’s personal security team are armed with green plastic squirt guns?”

    That’s just fucking stupid. I love how the fucking anti-“politcal correctness” brigade whines like babies about things that do not negatively affect their life. Then roll out some ridiculous straw man argument to whine about it more.

    OMG! They took away the gun emoji – next, it’s your guns!!!! Fucking clowns.

  2. I’ve been reading MDN for over 10 years. The last 6-12 months I’ve noticed a change in the types of stories covered and the tone/MDN Take on them and have to say it’s a bit self-serving and over the top. This article is the last straw. I’m deleting the app and my bookmark. Keep your rants to your friends or at least change the name to MacDailyOpinions instead. If I wanted to be loaded up with heavy culturally/politically charged themes I’d just watch Fox News.

    You quote Steve Jobs as intentionally staying out of politics under the advice of a friend. Maybe you should take the same advice.

  3. This article is a prime example of how the NERA (National Emoji Rifle Association) overreacts anytime you try to take away their pixel guns.
    Everyone run and hide, the Minecraft sky is falling! 🌩

  4. To MDN: You advised Tim Cook and Apple to stay out of politics. That advice applies to you as well. Given your attitude gun rights, I’m installing ad blockers on all my devices. You can boycott Apple products all you want. I wonder how long you will last if your ad revenues dry up.

  5. I read the pdf posted earlier https://fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/RL32842.pdf: Congressional Research Service “Gun Control Legislation”. According to table on page 11, in 2009 there was 31,347 deaths by firearms. 18,735 (60%) were suicides and 11,493 (37%) were murders. In 1993 the number of murders was 18,253 . So from 1993 to 2009 there was a 38% drop in gun murders. Suicide rates have remained about the same over time.
    On page 13 of the report it says there were 192 million firearms in 1994 and 310 million in 2009. This is a 61% increase in guns. So Americans added 118 million firearms and the murder rate fell 38%.
    BTW the Congressional Research Service is a legislative branch agency within the Library of Congress. http://www.loc.gov/crsinfo/

Reader Feedback

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.