Apple issues iPhone manifesto; blasts Android’s lack of updates, lack of privacy, rampant malware

In recent weeks, Apple.com has debuted a new iPhone website with images of iPhones and the following text:

Why there’s nothing quite like iPhone.

Every iPhone we’ve made — and we mean every single one — was built on the same belief. That a phone should be more than a collection of features. That, above all, a phone should be absolutely simple, beautiful, and magical to use.

It should have hardware and software that were designed to work with each other. And enhance each other. By people who frequently see each other. That’s how you make a phone that works ridiculously well.

And whenever there are shiny, new software updates with shiny, new features, you should be able to sit back, relax, and know your phone will get them. And be compatible with them. For years. For free.

It’s that kind of thinking that also enabled us to create the world’s most popular camera. A camera that makes it easy to take insanely great photos. Like “How did you even do that?” great.

So when you just want to point and shoot and get a photo of that weird grasshopper-moth-beetle thing that just landed over there, it has its Focus Pixels and auto stabilization and image signal processor already ready to go.

What that means is, you don’t actually have to know what that means. All you have to do is use it to see that taking photos and videos on iPhone is really. Flippin’. Amazing.

Apple's iPhone 6 Plus
Apple’s iPhone 6 Plus
Also amazing? The fact that there are over a million and a half capable, beautiful, inspiring apps on the App Store. And each and every one was reviewed and approved by a team of real live humans. With great taste. And great suggestions. And great ideas. So whether your thing is running or writing or budgeting or filming or note-taking or annihilating rampant zombie populations using only the power of plants, you’re totally set.

And while there are lots of things you want on your phone, there’s one you definitely don’t: malware. (“Malware” is what you call code that tries to sneak into your devices for the purpose of doing sneaky things. Like stealing your bank info or tracking every single word you type.) Now, this is the part where we’d normally geek out about the tools we give developers to make super safe apps like top-notch APIs, encryption, and app transport security, and the rock-solid security features we build into iPhone like trusted boot, sandboxing, and kernel address space layout randomization, but there’s only so much room. So let’s just say that iPhone and malware are practically strangers, and leave it at that.

And on the topic of keeping things safe, we think you should be able to control what you share and what you don’t. Like, if you want an app to show you restaurants within walking distance or to add a filter to your photo, that means the app needs to see your location or access your camera. And that can be kind of personal. So we make sure the choice is up to you. Because a phone should keep what’s private private. Period. Exclamation point.

Security is serious. It’s why we invented Touch ID. A painstakingly engineered sensor that lets you unlock your phone with just your fingerprint. And iPhone keeps your print safe by never storing an image of it. Instead, it turns it into an intricate piece of math, which can’t be turned back into an image, re-created, replicated, or otherwise fiddled with. And we built a place especially for that piece of math called the Secure Enclave. It’s completely walled off from the rest of your phone, and it keeps your fingerprint encrypted and protected.

We can’t see it. “They” can’t see it. Not even you can see it.

And we created Apple Pay with the same sense of security in mind. It makes sure the things that matter stay invisible. Your credit card number. What you bought. How many you bought. Even that little code on the back of your card that you can never seem to remember. Because if you paid good money for a phone, it shouldn’t leave your financial information vulnerable. That’s the bad kind of ironic.

We also designed Apple Pay to be really, really easy to use when you’re out shopping. All you need to do is have your finger on Touch ID and hold your iPhone near the reader. Done and done.

Because to us, things should always be easy. Like answering the question, “How many different messaging apps should it take to send words, voice messages, group messages, photos, videos, Easter Island stone head emoji, my location, and weird cat GIFs to everyone I know?” Answer: One. Or, “How much should it cost to send all that stuff to people who have an iPhone or iPad or Mac?” Answer: Nothing. And also, “How do I make a video call to my best friend who’s halfway around the world?” Answer: FaceTime. And, last question, “Shouldn’t all of that stuff just come built into my phone?” Yep.

And since we’re all using our phones more than ever, they should be able to do more remarkable things than ever. That includes letting you know that today you took 7,962 steps, which is the equivalent of 3.31 miles, which totally counts as a workout.

Your phone should also get along famously with your laptop and your tablet. And be able to kick up the thermostat with a couple of taps. And put on “Love Shack” from the backseat on command.

Another remarkable thing a phone should do — which, honestly, shouldn’t be so remarkable — is give everyone access to its powerful technology.

That’s why iPhone comes with incredible assistive tools and features built right in. Like VoiceOver, which lets you tap to hear what’s on your screen, even if you can’t see it. And Switch Control, a way to navigate your phone using switches instead of tapping, dragging, or swiping. And there’s also mono audio, which helps you hear it all by playing stereo recordings in mono in both ears of your headphones. And even Invert Colors, which increases the contrast on your screen, making it easier to read. And that’s not even everything. To us, technology like this isn’t additional. It’s essential.

And if you ever have any questions about iPhone — because we all have questions sometimes — you know exactly who to come to. Us. Swing by any of our 457 stores (and counting). Or call us on the phone at AppleCare. Or chat us up right here, where you actually already are right now, the Internet.

Because like we said, we design the hardware and we design the software, so we’re pretty good at answering anything. From “Where’s the power button?” to “What exactly did you mean when you said ‘image signal processor’?”

And that’s why
if it’s not an iPhone, it’s not an iPhone.

At the bottom of the pages are three buttons:
• Awesome, I want one
• So, how do I switch?
• I’m up for learning even more

Along with the new webpages, Apple debuted a new iPhone ad over the weekend on U.S. broadcast and cable networks:

Apple’s new iPhone pages are here.

23 Comments

    1. I’d be interested in a link to the criticism you cite. As somebody who approves and signs checks for a lot of ad work, I found the copy engaging as a single piece of text, and effective on the actual dynamic web page. I think this pitch is pointed at the last stronghold of Android users – geek males between 18 and 29.

  1. yes, Apple need more hard hitting marketing messages like this.

    (and some Mac ads — Macs being a bright spot in earnings – would be nice. remember Mac/PC guy: 66 different ads in 4 years?)

    1. reading the copy more critically I understand rogifan’s comment that the ‘copy is so bad’, the facts are good but I agree the writing needs some work.

      still I’m glad Apple is advertising.

      1. HERE DAVE’s 15 MINUTE REWRITE:
        ———————————-
        Apple:
        “Every iPhone we’ve made — and we mean every single one — was built on the same belief. That a phone should be more than a collection of features. That, above all, a phone should be absolutely simple, beautiful, and magical to use.

        It should have hardware and software that were designed to work with each other. And enhance each other. By people who frequently see each other. That’s how you make a phone that works ridiculously well.
        And whenever there are shiny, new software updates with shiny, new features, you should be able to sit back, relax, and know your phone will get them. And be compatible with them. For years. For free.”

        ——
        DAVE’s:

        We built the iPhone with a singular vision.
        That it should be simple, beautiful and magical to use.
        We designed both the software and hardware, designed them to work flawlessly together. Unlike our competitors.

        We think of our software designers as artists. And when those artists dream of new wonders you get it all in a new OS update. No hassles. For free.

        1. DAVES v2:

          We built the iPhone with a singular vision.
          That it should be simple, beautiful and magical to use.
          We designed both the software and hardware, designed them to work flawlessly together. Unlike our competitors.

          Our software is created by visionaries. And artists. And when they dream of new wonders you get it all in a new OS update. No hassles. For free.

  2. This is news? Anyone who has been paying attention has known about this for years. It’s nice to see Apple finally doing some decent marketing, this is the first bit of good marketing they’ve managed to do since they went with their pathetic internal marketing department.

    1. Now just get the word out about the page otherwise it will be the best kept secret. 😛 Note that if you use loyalty cards, the items you purchase will be recorded regardless of how private ApplePay itself is.

      1. The point being that using a loyalty card is your choice. If you choose to use one, you are offering the retailer the option to track your sales in exchange for some perk, such as discounts or special deals. If you don’t want them to be able to track purchases made using a loyalty card, then don’t use it – it’s that simple.

        The sort of purchase tracking that retailers do with conventional credit card transactions is not optional – they can do it whether you want them to or not. With Apple Pay, they don’t have the ability to do it.

        1. Quite agree.. It is an option.. I find that loyalty cards encourage shopping at those particular retail establishments.. In my case 95% of my purchases are at stores and restaurants I have loyalty cards with or in some cases a alumni membership card that will give a discount. I would think that for those using loyalty cards a large portion of their total purchases are also ‘tracked’ like mine in one way or another. The question then becomes how will he ApplePay user balance use of loyalty cards to keeping their purchases private. Purchases like hotel stays, airline travel, etc. that require other forms of ID to make use of will also be tracked regardless of how private your payment method is. If you give it some thought you may realize that tokenized payment systems were designed to only keep your CC account number safe. The amount, date and location of your payment is still recorded at your CC company and the purchase transaction is recorded at the retailer. Depending on the retailer/business they most likely have security cameras and have a record of the specific POS terminal at which you made your purchase. Though it becomes more difficult, it is still possible to ‘track’ your purchased items w/o a loyalty card. In fact the more frequently you purchase from a business, the more likely it is to accurately aggregate your personal purchase profile.

  3. I’m 70 years old this month and I love this copy! It sounds like it was written by a millennial for millennials or even younger which Apple needs to be doing, not always talking to people my age or Baby Boomers or Gen Xrers either. If this is Angela’s doing, hurray for her!

    1. Kind of “wordy,” when written out “all at once” as plain text (as shown above). But it’s more effective on Apple’s website, with each key point highlighted with separate “dynamic” graphics. (MDN is doing Apple a disservice by quoting it so completely here, instead of providing a summary description with a prominent link to Apple’s actual “presentation.”)

      I think it’s time for the return of “Hello, I’m a Mac – and I’m a PC,” re-cast as “iPhone” and “Android.” Or maybe not even “re-cast,” if Long and Hodgman are available and willing. “Hello, I’m iPhone – and I’m Android.” 🙂 Each “key point” from this “manifesto” could be a commercial. Heck, some of the scripts from the old commercials wouldn’t even need much re-writing. 🙂 The parallels between Mac-vs-Windows and iPhone-vs-Android are uncanny, except the Android platform, if you can call it ONE “platform,” is probably MORE screwed up.

      1. Yeah, the first thing I did when I opened this post was to click through to Apple’s site and read the text there. As a series of short paragraphs, each with illustrating animation, it works really well. You need to read this text in the context it was designed for.

        ——RM

    1. I noticed the copy was much more street and I had to double check that this was an Apple text and not third party. I wouldn’t say sucks ass, just talking in the audience’s terms.

  4. What has happened to Apple?

    This is terrible copy. Reminds me of that annual contest to write the worst pretentious poetry. It makes Valley Speak seem profound.

    At what point did somebody approve this without looking?

  5. Everyone’s a critic, I guess. What’s “horrible” to one reader is “brilliant” to another. I know this because for the past 25 years, I’ve been an advertising copywriter, and the more personality you put into your text, the more likely you’re going to lose some small percentage of the audience.

    That said, I love this site, and the tone is pure “Apple”.

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