Consumer Reports claims to be ‘designing authoritative test’ for iPhone 6/Plus bendability

“We’re designing an authoritative test to find out whether Apple’s new phones have structural issues,” Glenn Derene writes for Consumer Reports.

“Photos and videos have surfaced showing bent iPhone 6 Pluses (it’s unclear whether the issue is affecting the smaller iPhone 6),” Derene writes. “Predictably, rumors have swirled about just why this is happening.”

“Well as luck would have it, Consumer Reports has exactly the right equipment to test this sort of thing, and we’ve used it to test the flexibility of phones before,” Derene writes. “We want to do a scientifically valid test of the structural strength of the new iPhones as well as that of comparable phones, and we’ll have results soon. So stay tuned.”

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Direct link to video here.

MacDailyNews Take: Leave it to these idiots to try jumping on the bandwagon after it’s already sped on by with their so-called ‘authoritative test’ as if the world’s most valuable company and the world’s most profitable smartphone maker doesn’t thoroughly stress test their products approximately a billion times more comprehensively than two morons with a low-end Instron packed into a broom closet in Yonkers.

With nine (9) iPhone 6/Plus units affected out of roughly 15 million units sold to date, the odds of having an iPhone 6 Plus bend are 1,666,667 to 1. The odds of being struck by lightning are 576,000 to 1.

Stick to reviewing toaster ovens and vacuum cleaners for grandmas, boys.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers “Fred Mertz” and “Dan K.” for the heads up.]

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      1. They’re also the people that issued a report on Friday that #bendgate is grossly overblown, that the iPhone 6+ is actually less likely to bend than most of its competitors, and that anything more than cosmetic damage is highly unlikely in any real-world situation. I guess we can safely ignore that since they’re such losers.

  1. I can’t wait to see how stupid this test will be done. CR desperate for relevance that seeing them jump into this FUD bandwagon was inevitable. Now the foolish and the hating trolls will shout this out as the difinitive proof that it’s true. Despite the fact that CR has zero idea and experience in building a top world class smartphone. You fall for CR as fact then you are a complete Fool!

      1. Yep. CR would have to top Apple own torture test suite. The video from Apple labs is the baseline. I can’t wait to see how stupid CR testing methods will be vs Apple’s own testing facilities.

        1. … of that “torture test suite” is also the guy who was in charge of making sure Apple’s “Maps” app was ready for prime time. He said it WAS. (it wasn’t) And Apple was embarrassed when it turned out to be barely BETA-test ready.
          Could CR be any worse? You may think so.
          I do suspect, though, that @BMWTwisty was closer to the truth. After all, not everyone follows investigative journalism sites like MDN.

  2. “We’re designing an authoritative test to find out whether Apple’s new phones have structural issues”

    Translation: “We’ve opened an auction for the outcome of our “authoratitive” test, Apple and Google/Samsung please submit your bids”

  3. Did consumers Report just state that they have no current or existing definitive test for phones durability? They now must create one and by what standards are they going to follow!

    Armature hour continues at Consumer Reports.

  4. Ah yes. Here we go with the organization that showed that the Mac running Microsoft office was 2-5 times slower than a Windows machine running office.

    Upon investigation it turned out that they were running the Windows version on both machines! (They were running Windows under emulation [emulating an X86 chip on a PowerPC chip] and running Windows Office on that.)

    Why? Their twisted logic was that they needed to test the *exact same version of office* on both machines in order for it to be a truly fair test!

    I can’t imagine what they will come up with for the “authoritative test”. Are they going to get a Nobel Laureate to put it into his/her back pocket and sit down then have the Nobel Laureate attempt to quantify any bend (both sitting and after standing back up)? Surely that would be a test using a known authority on some extraneous topic. Thus in CR parlance this would be an “authoritative test”!

    As MDN states, CR needs to stick with simple household items. They’ve shown time and time and time again that they have no idea how to construct or execute relevant tests on any items more technologically advanced than a toaster.

  5. CR’s test will consist of a steamroller, backhoe, and grader.
    When the iPhone bends/breaks, Apple will be labeled as the worst company in history.

    Or something similar.

    Prepare yourselves for CR to come up with the worst results to have ever been produced, and they will claim Samsung will have the most unbendable phones out there.
    History says otherwise.. but for whatever reason the elderly and the media read CR and take what they say as fact. (and CR does not like Apple, they have lied about Apple before and will lie again to bash Apple)

  6. How about this:
    First, see if a potential buyer is house trained and knows how to use a knife and fork before being allowed to purchase an iPhone 6. If they have the propensity to drool frequently, that should eliminate them from consideration.

    Second, the potential customer would need to sign a document confirming they won’t be so stupid as to put their new iPhone in the back pocket of their jeans. That is true for any iPhone, or any competing product. It might be necessary to educate a purchaser that sitting on their phone, or sticking it in the side pocket of their hipster tight jeans prior to sitting down, is not really a good strategy.

    3. If the potential customer is a hipster, they are immediately cut from consideration.

    The problem has nothing to do with the iPhone and everything to do with the lack of common sense and intelligence of a handful of complete dim bulb knuckleheads. Apparently, we live in an age where we are no longer responsible for our actions, but Apple is for everything real and imagined.

    For example, did you know that Apple is responsible for Ebola and ISIS? Just ask Henry Blodgett. Since he likely published some FUD article screaming this, I’m sure it must be true. After all, a week can not go by without Business Insider or BGR screaming out the latest Apple apocalypse.

    Is it too much to ask that we as individuals take accountability for our actions? In this age, I guess not. After all, the world needs a whipping boy.

  7. Consumer’s Reports is a joke….and…
    If someone with a huge posterior or boney rear wants to sit down as hard as they can a thousands times repeatedly on a steel chair then they should get a steel protective case for their iPhone in their rear pocket….morons.

    1. Is the iPhone bending issue in any way related to the obesity epidemic in America? A 600 pound dude sits on his new iPhone and bends it? My gawwwwd …look what we have become.

      I would like to know ALL the relevant details of the people, the circumstances, and the situations of those 9 iPhones (out of 10 or 15 million, or whatever) that were reportedly bent.

  8. Hmmm…FUZZY MATH

    9 phones have bent in a week.

    Multiply that times life of phones. Add in some more for some growing user carelessness as they more comfortable, take off the kid gloves.

    Multiply that, then, by my (also fuzzy) number of 60.

    Now we’re talkin 1 in about 30,000.

    And, yeah, still no big deal.

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