Microsoft unveils Surface 2 tablet; nobody cares about this one, either

“So Microsoft unveiled its Surface 2 tablet on Monday and there were absolutely no big surprises,” Brad Reed reports for BGR. “The device is priced at $50 less than the original Surface RT at $449 but overall this is basically the Surface RT with better specs and a presumably improved Windows RT 8.1 operating system. It goes without saying that this will once again not end well for Microsoft.”

“Microsoft has done virtually nothing to add consumer appeal to the Surface 2,” Reed reports. “Throughout its presentation on Monday the company kept stressing that the Surface 2 was a tablet for people who want to be ‘productive,’ and emphasized that it came with the full Microsoft Office Suite… People who need to use Office at home can do so by bringing their laptop home with them. What they will not do, however, is spend $450 on a tablet for their own personal use just because it comes with Office. In fact, they are probably buying a tablet for their own personal use as a way to escape Office and other work-related productivity software.”

“The Surface 2′s other problem is Windows RT itself… The Surface RT was a commercial flop, OEMs fled from Windows RT and app developers are less than enthusiastic about making apps for it,” Reed reports. “Simply making hardware upgrades and implementing very small a price cut to the Surface 2 would have been an acceptable strategy if the original Surface RT had been even a modest hit. But it wasn’t a modest hit: It was a massive bomb that forced Microsoft to write off $900 million.”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take:

Captain Ballmer
Captain Ballmer
Flop 2. Balmy’s still in charge and he’s back for more! In theaters this Friday (on DVD later that same evening in Costco’s nationwide).

Actually, this isn’t Flop 2, it’s actually something like Flop 8 (and that’s being charitable; we’ll leave out MS Bob and some other fiascos).

Only Microtanic would ram the iceberg at full steam once (Vista), then back up and repeatedly slam its battered, broken hull again (Zune), and again (Kin ONE), and again (Kin TWO), and again (8ista), and again (Surface RT), and again (Surface Pro), and again (Surface 2)… Sink already, eyesore.

Any random person picked off the street could run that joke of a company better (except for Stephen Flop, er… Elop, which is why he’ll very likely be Microsoft’s next CEO).

65 Comments

        1. You’re right. The Pontiac Aztec was indeed ugly. Though what you seem to be missing is that it had such incredible intent. Looking at it, you can see where it perhaps could have went if the designers weren’t so tentative (or if Pontiac/GM management were bolder).

          It should have been amazing.

  1. I wish this company would just die already. It’s bad enough that BlackBerry died because of the BS CUD that MicroCock said about them. It’s a shame, because QNX is possibly one of the best Operating Systems out there, but everyone up here has that stupid M$ garbage. And ShamShame had to bring out those stupid GagLaxitive Tablets out too. Can’t believe M$ and Shamscum have more popular garbage when BlackBerry has objectively better products. It seems like good companies like Apple and BlackBerry can’t get a break because of lies spread by filthy stockbrokers. You americans will eat up any piece of trash thrown at you.

    1. Aren’t those ads hilarious? They’re so pathetic — they’re the textbook example of “trying too hard”.

      My favorite part is when Fake Siri says “Oh no, I don’t have a USB port.” Why the @#$% would she need one?

      Those ads are the most hilariously pathetic ads by an Apple competitor since that ad for an iPhone-killer where the CG alien has a literal on-screen orgasm when he sees the (gasp) physical keyboard slide out of the phone.

      ——RM

        1. If you’re talking about the phone ad, no, because I can’t remember the manufacturer (HTC?). It was in heavy rotation several years ago. Candy-colored blob creatures are fascinated by the phones that descend from the sky like monoliths. As the narrator describes the phones technical specs, the creatures display fascination with the devices (which are as big as they are). Finally, as the narrator describes the keyboard, the keyboard extends, and one of the creatures eyes go wide, he shivers and falls over backwards.

          Surely I can’t be the only one who remembers this. It was on all the time for at least a month.

          ——RM

      1. And when Siri mentions that she doesn’t have a click-able “real” keyboard I can’t help but think why Microsoft didn’t think of a Bluetooth keyboard, like Apple did.

      2. Well, it lame that a USB flash drive cannot plug into an iPad to transfer files, even with the effing camera kit’s USB adapter !!
        It would have been useful to me on several occasions. But instead we can have Wifi HD app to upload files, which is only useful if we have wifi when we want to copy/transfer files from a friend. Sigh…

  2. It seems to me their only path to “success” for RT is to buy their way in. Giving away RT tabs far under cost (more than now) , throwing large sums of money at developers (more than now). I don’t know how legal that would be though.

    1. Well, technically, MDN does not practice journalism here. He just aggregates online news from all possible sources, with a brief summary of the original text, and usually provides his own take on each story. MDN is not a journalist; he is just a news aggregator, and commentator.

      1. Yep. I’m glad too, so that we have one place to find all the idiots as well as the good stuff to catch up on. The best part is finding the idiots so that we can go march on over and correct them…politely. 😉

    2. There was a time when Microsoft charged consumers $500 for a copy of Office.

      Now they pre-load it as a free extra on their tablet, and they still can’t get rid of them.

  3. Oh and the comment about Office being included is dead on. I remember the Ballmer quote about how people really wish they could get Office on their tablets. That right there reveals his entire delusion in a nutshell. Windows 7 and a windows 7-ized 8.1 are okay “truck” platforms, though they cost too much as a license. But Office is necessary for a continually shrinking group. Trouble lurking for the “Cash Cows”.

  4. I can imagine the meeting at Microsoft discussing the $1B write off on the surface RT.

    “Well people, we took a MASSIVE loss because the world doesn’t want our iPad wannabe. Any thoughts/ideas?? Im looking for pie in the sky ideas just like google”

    “How about we make a surface 2, address none of the problems people complain about but add new features that no one wants? Then we can double down on iPad bashing ads cause everyone knows Apple customers are easily tempted into changing sides”

    “Sounds like a plan, you’re heading for a promotion”

      1. You can THROW in a pair as well. 🙂

        Follow up question at board meeting at Microsoft: “Can anyone explain we never see the people who get our free concert tickets ever again? Might I suggest hosting a SECOND free concert to “clinch” customer loyalty. Surely this would be all that would be necessary to entice the consumer dufuses out there…”

  5. The Surface 2 is Ballmer’s way of saying that line of the ships Captain from the movie Titanic…

    “I’ve just ordered the remaining boilers to be lit. We’re speeding up!”

    Ballmer has little time left to do his dirty work…

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