The ‘cult’ of the Apple Retail Store

“Inside every Apple Store there’s really only ever four things for sale. iPhone, iPod, iPad or Macbook,” Xavier Toby writes for The Sydney Morning Herald. “Which you can get at about a hundred different stores. In the same shopping centre. For exactly the same price.”

“There’s also the staff in that same shirt with hipster flourishes like over-styled hair, subtle tattoos and designer glasses who, if they didn’t work for Apple, would be selling Foxtel subscriptions, or raffle tickets,” Toby writes. “Then up the back are the ‘geniuses’. When they’re not at work, we all know they’re shooting at each other and designing farms and chatting up hot girls. Virtually.”

Toby writes, “At the register there’s always that one hot girl in black-rimmed glasses. The nerds are too scared to talk to her and she’s already knocked back all the sales guys since she’s dating the assistant manager. The Apple Store is like a really smug cult.”

The rest of the full article, which complains that his local Apple Retail Store wouldn’t give him a new iPhone for free even though he dropped his in a toilet, here.

MacDailyNews Take: If you stupidly dropped your iPhone into a toilet, but you’re too cheap to pony up for your mistake, wouldn’t it be best not to compound your stupidity and tightfistedness by whining about it in the paper?

23 Comments

    1. Author claims to be a “comedian” so I see what he’s trying to do, but it utterly fails. Crickets at all the “jokes.”

      He’s trying way too hard to find something funny about the Apple Store.

      I did find it amusing that after all that, he supposedly went and bought another iPhone!

  1. Nerds in an Apple Store! I thought Apple products were for the technologically challenged.

    It’s obvious Toby used the “bobbing for apples” method of getting iPhone out of the toilet.

  2. This guy really seems like an uneducated duche. I worked at an apple store and almost everyone there was as far from smug as you could get. And yes you do get a bit more of the hipster stylings but that has more to do with apple being the favorite of artists and creative types. Also the fact that they never discriminated in there hiring because of wild hair or tattoos. I feel sorry for this guy, it must be hard to go through life with such a limited view of the world.

  3. What an idiot… I don’t think he’s actually been to an Apple Store, if he saw a cash register, with or without a “hot girl in black-rimmed glasses.”

    Maybe the moron wandered into a Microsoft Store by mistake.

    1. Yup.

      Also, if you look at the blue shirts in the photo. All of them look like average people. I see no “over-styled hair, subtle tattoos and designer glasses”

  4. Yes they are smug cult eager to help out the other smug cult:: the Apple device owner. Both cults know that they have the best electronic devices on the planet. Put that in you pipe and smoke it Xavier Toby!!!

  5. What = he prefers the high school drop outs at TJMaxx ?
    God forbid he should go to Bergdorf Goodman or Marc Jacobs
    Must be a Gap customer – reach for the lowest common denominator….

  6. ya no, i’ve really had it up to here with assholes throwing the ‘cult’ word around so much in association with apple. cult this, cult that. i think some of these people are in need of their own intervention.

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