What could Apple buy with their $80 billion cash pile?

In Apple’s fiscal third quarter conference call with analysts yesterday, Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer stated that Apple’s cash on hand grew by 16% during the quarter to $76.2 billion.

That’s $12,192,000,000.00 added in one 90-day period.

The quarter ended nearly a month ago on June 25, 2011. So Apple most certainly has over $80 billion in cash on hand today.

If Steve Jobs felt like writing out a check, what could Apple buy with $80 billion?

What Apple could buy with their $80 billion:

• Disney‘s market value is $74.49 billion. (Jobs personally is already Disney’s largest individual shareholder.)

• Dell ($32.97B) and Sony ($26.78B) total $59.75B, so, oh what the heck, throw Yahoo! ($17.71B) in basket, too. ($77.46B total)

• HTC ($26.05B), Nokia ($21.59B), RIM ($13.81B), Motorola Mobility ($6.62B), and, whatever, Sirius XM Radio ($8.66B) and -giggle – AMD ($4.46B), too ($81.19B total. So, maybe Steve throws in some of his personal couch cushion change to cover Apple for a week or so on this haul.)

• At an average of a dollar each, roughly 1 out of every 3 hamburgers sold by McDonald’s – ever. (Or, just wait until the end of this quarter and get free burgers for life by purchasing McDonald’s itself ($89.52B).

Yes, we’re talking serious cash here.

As of this post, right now, Apple’s market value is $358.9 billion or nearly 11X that of Dell whose CEO, Michael Dell, was once asked what he’d do if he was in charge of Apple. Dell stood before a crowd of several thousand IT executives and answered flippantly, “What would I do? I’d shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders.”

That’s not just a foot, that’s like two whole legs! How do they taste, Mikey?

With a market value of $358.9 billion, Apple is worth $8.66 billion more than “Wintel’ combined (Microsoft at $228.53B and Intel at $121.71B) which reminds us of a quote:

What I can’t figure out is why he [Steve Jobs] is even trying [to be the CEO of Apple]? He knows he can’t win.Bill Gates, June 1998

Smirk.

52 Comments

  1. A small country?

    But in all seriousness they could do us all a favour and buy a telecoms company (one of the big ones) and rid us all of the ridiculous roaming charges – especially in this the age of cloud computing where charges for accessing data on a mobile device in another country is this far removed from making me want to throw the phone out of the emergency exit on the plane ride..
    If it were anything but my iPhone I think there’d be a few hundred phones of mine floating around in the Atlantic at this very moment in time!

    I hope they do actually acquire one of the major international ones soon.. But I don’t see this as happening for another 5 years or so.. A cable company or two wouldn’t be a miss either.. The ATV Cable box with supersede BB and iTunes access..

    1. Apple has been successful by being focused. Every telecom in the world wants apple’s products… they don’t need to buy a carrier, and buying a carrier would subject them to every petty law of every petty two bit mafia family run country– like brussels!

  2. Instead of just quoting “Eyes to close to nose”, why doesn’t some reporter pick up the phone and ask him what he has to say now? Come on, some humble pie is in order!

  3. Hang on to the cash. Apple has been and will continue to use the money effectively for corning the market err, prepayment for critical components. In addition, the pile of cash is a prudent insurance policy for the recent epidemic of patent infringement lawsuits.

  4. Michael Babad of the Globe and Mail had the same idea:

    What could Apple do?

    Buy all the state assets Greece has put up for sale, and have change left over.
    Give each and every American $247, according to The Wall Street Journal.
    Buy Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS-N133.685.194.04%), as observers noted yesterday, and get picked on every time you do something.
    Buy Iceland several times over (based on GDP), and then demand a bailout.
    Buy Research In Motion Ltd. (RIM-T25.33-0.11-0.43%) and have a lot of change left over. (Or buy a hockey team and really rub it in.)

    1. Buy Iceland?

      Why skate to where the puck has been and all that? If Apple isn’t going to buy Adobe, why should they buy another country when they could establish their own.

      Apple will have revenue placing it in the top 50 as a country (if compared to GDP) this year.

    1. I’d put my money in that bank.

      Actually, I haven’t put money in my banks for several years now. I put my money in the “Bank of Apple” stock and it’s the safest bank around.

      Screw the rest of them.

  5. speaking of delusional…..

    a whole paragraph of fail i do not want to start with. you sound like a bitter ex-Nokia employee or current shareholder.
    Nokia was only a market winner because they sold cheap candy bar phones for 3rd world countries and for some time the US.
    This is not 1999 anymore man, Nokia got caught blindsided by the smart(app)phone revolution.
    You think Microsoft, whose slow train wreck into oblivion, is going to save Nokia? You better ask all about the other Microsoft partners first how that turned out for them. Microsoft did not even see this apple revolution coming.

    Here’s why its not going away anytime in the near future:
    iCloud, ecosystem, iTunes, iOS, ATV, Apps, and iphones. Nokia, or any other tech company has one or maybe two piece of puzzle, but not all them at once.

    This was in making for many years. The other global tech companies can only fight for the scraps. They have a hardware piece, or a licensed OS… Nokia can not come back in power with a licensed OS. Apple changed the game completely, they lost the 90s. Instead they focused on what the future will be like, and planned accordingly.

    Game Over.

  6. How about buying Quicken? Mac users need a full-featured personal finance program — since Quicken seems to be abandoning the Mac. Or, Apple could invest a few million to write their own top-notch personal finance software.

    1. Someone on here suggested I look at See Finance. I’m still looking but it has promise as does MoneyBank. There are others doing their best.

      But yeah, how cool would it be for Apple to announce they’re going to write something to fill the gap.

    2. Hell with that. Buy Intuit as a whole, incorporate all the best features of Quickbooks on the peecee into the Mac version… then drop support for the peecee version!

      1. If you could stop your invasions and full spectrum dominance (puh lease children, grow up!) you could save most of your deficit. There’s got to be a cheaper way to advertise your main export! Hoho!

  7. If Apple can wait until I buy a few shares, they can take that 80 billion, close up shop, and return the money to the shareholders. Which is what I have been suggesting all along. Am I right or am I right?

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