Dvorak: Apple’s publicity juggernaut is amazing; All Apple, all the time

“It seems as if we can’t go two days without some ridiculous, who-cares, Apple rumor or scandal,” John C. Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. “Will someone on the Apple board do us all a favor and in Steve Jobs’ absence name Lindsey Lohan as the new Apple CEO?”

“Next week will be Apple week, and Obama and anyone else looking for the limelight should take a note,” Dvorak writes. “This would be an ideal time commit a crime, because nobody will even notice.”

“iPad II. Or will it be the iPad 2? How about the iPad Deux? This is the single most gossiped about device in history,” Dvorak writes. “I don’t care, and I even know it will have two cameras and a better screen… The motivation for having two cameras is so you can do face to face video chatting. They introduced this feature on the iPhone 4 and immediately everyone tried it out, but then never actually used the feature.”

Dvorak writes, “Whatever the case the new iPad will be a huge success and everyone who bought the first iPad will rush out to buy this one next, so they can read the newspaper on it.”

More of the same in the full article – Think Before You Click™here.

MacDailyNews Take: Johnny’s run completely out of material.

52 Comments

    1. Bitter sack of shit that has a job that consists of reporting on things nobody cares about and bashing things they do (Apple)
      Pathetic that this guy probably gets a fat paycheck while many good, talented folks are unemployed.
      Life just ain’t fair, but I do like seeing him get angrier by the day.

  1. ‘They introduced this feature on the iPhone 4 and immediately everyone tried it out, but then never actually used the feature.”’

    I am Dvorak (pronounced Dork)….I am all knowing, all seeing….

    1. Dammit, you beat me to it! 😀

      “In my day, we didn’t have no ayyyye-paaads! If you wanted a tablet, you carried around a big stone! And if you wanted it to be interactive, you smashed yourself in the face with it! And that the way it was and we liked it! Now all you Apple-loving whippersnappers, get off my lawn! And let me use my MS-DOS computer! That when computers were real machines, not those candy-colored toys they make today!”

      ——RM

  2. I got the first one on the first day. Later, got my wife the top end 3G iPad. Getting the iPad 2 from my son Saturday for his birthday. I will be buying the top end one and recommend he not open it and return it and hold off for the iPad 2. I will get more. 1 or 2 a year. They are great. My grand daughters love them. Maybe 2 more at Christmas too. Johnny is clueless and “completely out of material.”

  3. The most ignorant of pundits – led by Dvorak and Thurrott – think Apple “amazing” marketing is some kind of black magic lemming ray that makes normally rational people overpay for things they don’t want en mass.

    You know what else is amazing, John? Apple’s products.

    Their relentless mainstreaming of new technology, most recently ThunderBolt. Their ability to define and create markets consistently. The way you purchase media now and in the future owes a great deal to Apple’s slapping sense into the label, studio and media moguls.

    Steve Jobs and Apple has done more to advance the state of the art in the 21st century than any other company in technology. Dvorak, on the other hand, is the equivalent of the old man on the porch bitching at kids to stay off his lawn. You’re irrelevant to the point of hilarity and you should thank deity every morning you’re still employed.

    As always,
    TheMacAdvocate

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