Rob Pegoraro writes for The Washignton Post:
Here’s all that I will predict about an Apple tablet — or an Apple netbook, which would fill a demonstrated need in the market:
1. Apple will price this thing at a level that seems borderline absurd next to existing hardware.
2. It will include at least one feature that most people had never thought to ask for.
3. It will leave out at least one feature that most people had considered essential.
4. Press coverage of its launch will feature at least one skeptical quote from an executive at a competing company that the quoted party may regret later.
5. People will line up in front of Apple’s stores to buy it.
6. Buyers will be happy enough about their purchase that they will choose to overlook a missing capability or a performance issue.
7. The second version of the device will work a lot better than the first.
Read more in the full article, “Projecting Our Hopes and Dreams Onto Apple,” here.
If I new how to use photoshop I could even make a concept. It would be rectangular, the size of the screen but with a small area around it for a button or some glass or something and it would be thing. It would have a minimum of other buttons or markings, essentially it would be very simplistic. I would then write a shopping list of so called features that it includes. Of course there would be no thought as to how to fit all the stuff required to power those features inside, but who cares about that?
9. When I bring it out to my local pub EVERYONE will want one
So on the money with the predictions and so funny too.
And then someone will quote Gandhi:
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
It’s time for Apple to surprise us.
I love #4. How many quotes occurred from other cell phone providers about the iPhone / Apple in the mobile communications market, in which Apple would fail. Six months later, all of the executives were eating crow and losing their jobs for failing to keep up with Apple.
Perfect!
@Dijonaise: I’m probably more successful than you. Certainly better educated. I didn’t criticize Apple. I’ve been an Apple user since 1984, and expect to continue to be one for the rest of the few years I have left.
I simply added my own vague and unfounded prognostications in the spirit of the list that was offered in the article – part satire, part honest guessing.
Take your fanboism and delinquent attitude somewhere else.
@GregoriusM: You’re right! I have enough disposable income that I often make purchases of things that I have neither need nor use for. And sometimes I don’t. The iPhone is the coolest thing on the planet right now. I waited two years to buy one. The touch is the second coolest, and I probably won’t buy one (unless the upcoming upgrade makes it even cooler).
Hilarious. I love Apple but he nailed everything good and bad about them here. Great stuff.
Right on, Grrrilla!
There goes our matte crusader, JS (previously known as <b>MacMatte<>; I wonder why the name change), posting links to his blog on any and all sites that publish articles even remotely relevant to his beef with Apple (lack of matte on the remaining Macs that still don’t offer the option). When I caught a glimpse of his macmatte blog link, I instantly wondered, how could he possible make his crusading post relevant to the discussion of an imaginary Apple tablet? Well, nic work, MacMatte! Picking a single sentence from the article and redirecting discussion in your own direction…
Among all the online polls cited on this macmatte blog, not one has an overwhelming majority in favour of matte (if we exclude polls where only 100 people or fewer have voted). When a poll can’t even attract enough matte-loving people to vote in overwhelming numbers in an online poll (takes 3 seconds to do it), it is obvious that practically nobody cares about matte.
And on the subject of this article, it should be clear to the readers that the article was NOT predicting anything about a specific Apple tablet. It was a humorous article about the current marketing successes of Apple. No matter what new product Apple plans to introduce, rumours begin swirling about it months (even years) in advance. When the product IS announced, things from 1 through 6 (see article) happen. It happened with the original iPod, with the iPhone, MBA, AppleTV… And ever single item on that list could be applicable in all those cases.
What most here fail to detect is the ever-so-slight reverence the writer has for Apple. This article is in fact a testament to Apple’s unparalleled ability to deliver products that captivate the masses on an emotional level, unlike anyone else.
The article is so clearly NOT another “prediction” article.
It’s more an attack on media and industry skepticism than saying anything about the Apple Tablet (which I think will wait till next year; what better way to make the big COMDEX splash now that they don’t have the competing MacWorld to appear at?).
My thoughts is that it’s going to be similar in profile to the Kindle or Sony eReader, available on-screen keyboard but with built-in Bluetooth so people can use external keyboards if preferred, WiFi, no optical drive or FireWire but at least one USB port. Of course, these predictions are pulled directly from my (ample) backside.
You’re probably thinking about CES; COMDEX died years ago. We still don’t know whether Apple will attend CES, though (although there were rumours about that).
The first version of the iPhone is still working just fine for me. This is another brick in the “wait until v.2” meme that everyone likes to throw at Apple, hoping that they can cause a new product to sell poorly. Move along, nothing more to see.
The man is a true student of History. This has been the story of the majority of the new products introduced since The Return of Jobs.
ChrissyOne, he didn’t say it wouldn’t work well, in fact, he said: “6. Buyers will be happy enough about their purchase that they will choose to overlook a missing capability or a performance issue.”. Your objection to “7. The second version of the device will work a lot better than the first.” is misplaced. V2 IS better than The Original – which in NO way suggests The Original did not perform quite well, indeed!
Brilliantly obscure work there, Rob. You have an amazing talent for writing nothing insightful, explanatory, or informative. No Pulitzer for you.
1. iTablets will have a screen that some will say is too big, others too small.
2. The iTablet will have a rechargeable battery that some will say is insufficient, other will say it is adequate.
3. The iTablet will be made of plastic or metal, not cardboard or bamboo.
4. The iTablet will be portable, although some will say it is too large, others adequate.
5. The iTablet will be connectable to any monitor, keyboard, external hard drive, iPod, or iPhone, but it won’t make coffee, fold laundry, or mowthe lawn – I swear!
…shallow-minded genius.
Wow the dude almost makes it sound like they ate going to leave out the “on/off” button. Alluding to problems which more or less happened with iPod Touch, for some reason I feel reading this was just a recap of the past 2 yrs of iPhone iPod touch… Lame, deceptive article
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