“Microsoft Corp. on Thursday hired a 25-year veteran of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. to oversee the development and opening of the software giant’s first retail stores,” John Letzing reports for MarketWatch.
“Microsoft said in a statement that David Porter will serve as corporate vice president of retail stores and will be responsible for ‘defining the time frame, locations and specifics for planned Microsoft-branded retail stores,'” Letzing reports.
“Porter has served as head of worldwide product distribution at DreamWorks Animation SKG since 2007, when he left Wal-Mart after a 25-year career with the Bentonville, Ark.-based retailing giant,” Letzing reports. “Microsoft said it intends to use its new retail outlets to ‘improve the articulation and demonstration of the Microsoft innovation and value proposition.'”
MacDailyNews Take: Microsoft innovation? This Wally World associate is going to articulate an oxymoron? How does he plan to demonstrate this “Microsoft innovation,” stand outside an Apple Store with a big mirror? If you repeat a lie enough times, people eventually believe it; unless you’re Microsoft claiming innovation, then people just laugh harder each time.
Letzing continues, “Porter will work together with leaders of ‘existing retail programs’ in the company’s entertainment and devices division, which includes products such as the Xbox video game console and the Zune media player. Microsoft rival Apple Inc. has relied increasingly on a retail strategy that features its own, branded stores.”
Full article – don’t forget to check out the comments, too – here.
MacDailyNews Take: As we wrote regarding Microsoft retail stores this past August: The true Microsoft experience? Frustration and mediocrity hardly beckon for a retail showcase. This is just more half-assed copying of Apple. What are they going to do, instead of intricate staircases, install glass ledges from which their suckers customers can leap?
At least Microsoft Retail Stores would be colorful with all of their Red Rings and Blue Screens of Death and Brown Zunes on clearance.
At Microsoft Retail Store Grand Openings, the first 1,000 people to visit get a free bottle of Pepto. Microsoft will still have 900+ bottles left after the first week.
Fact: If they tried to open retail stores, Microsoft would be about as successful as Gateway or Dell. Anyone who says differently lacks even the vaguest understanding of why Apple dominates retail like none other.
By popular request, this is what we imagined back in August 2005 when the prospect of Microsoft retails stores first arose (with slight updates):
First install of “Microsoft Windows AntiSpyware is FREE* to all Microsoft Dunce Bar™ visitors!** Only the Microsoft Retail Store offers the patented Lost & Missing DLL Service!™ First 1,000 visitors eligible to purchase Grand Opening T-Shirts.*** Every day features our Proprietary Format Workshop, featuring FREE**** workshops where Certified Microsoft Specialists instruct visitors on how to create and email Word (.doc) documents and Excel (.xls) documents! Each day at 9am, 7 days a week, get your complimentary Windows Virus of the Day™!***** And, of course, EVERY DAY is LOCK-IN DAY™!
*Return visits to the Microsoft Dunce Bar™ are subject to hourly maintenance charges (Registry repair subject to additional charges).
** No iPods, MacBooks, or iPhones allowed in Microsoft Retail Store.
*** Regular Grand Opening T-Shirt price is US$19.99 plus tax and handling.
**** Workshop participants may be subject to charges on a per question basis. Rates TBD.
***** Unlimited supply. No visitor will leave uninfected.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers “Fred Mertz, “CandTsmac,” and “Jen” for the heads up.]
