ONN reveals Apple’s revolutionary ‘MacBook Wheel’

The Onion News Network (ONN), America’s finest news source, has revelead the “MacBook Wheel” lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Source: The Onion

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers too numerous to mention for the heads up.]

27 Comments

  1. With 2 of them and a few thousand audio files, a DJ could do some serious scratching and save a lot money on turntables, mixers, etc.

    Vinyl records can finally be put to rest.

    <sarcasm>

  2. very very funny.
    “to reduce energy use, the screen goes black after 4 seconds” and the hummingbird battery that lasts for just under 19 minutes.

    excellent parody, packed with goodies…. watch the scrolling news ticker at the bottom of the screen too! Hilarious!

  3. Man, this is ****ing brilliant! The logos, the faux real settings, the geek who will buy anything if it’s “shiny and made by Apple”, the deadpan seriousness. And that last line about “the business world where computers are used for real work and not just for dicking around.” Cracked me up!

  4. “I’ll buy almost anything that’s shiny and made by Apple.”
    Sounds like all the fanatical MacBook owners that now scorn firewire and non-glossy screens.
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  5. I just love to burst your MAC lemming bubble. I already saw this in the lab in Redmond years ago when uncle Steve was in one of his better moods and had us visit for lunch. Research showed the wheel was too confusing for MBAs and C level staff to navigate. Microsoft has since moved on to the much more intuitive and Zune inspired squircle with left- and right-click buttons as well as modifier buttons at the side of the device. Customers can customize the side buttons to launch Internet Explorer, Outlook or whatever. Suck it, Apple.

    I’m a PC.

    Your potential. Our passion.™

  6. A perfect response to all those “predictions” seen … well, everywhere. I was actually most of the way through before my horror was replaced by amused relief! Very well made, excellent script, great presentations. Scary – SCARY – thought.

  7. I’ve read the Onion for over 15 years and am amazed at how clever the writing is. Equally amazed that so many fools just don’t get it. It is rare to find such over the top parody that hits the mark. For those who have not followed the Onion, you should check it out regularly – we need to laugh at life more often.

  8. The bit about using “the predictive sentence technology” (with the absurd list of possible sentence choices) was very amusing. Whoever did the graphics on the MacBook Wheel screen to match what was being done on the “big wheel and button” did a fantastic job.

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