“First of all, good health and best wishes, Mr. Jobs. Second, Apple and Steve Jobs did this morning what they should’ve done months ago: quiet the rumors with a simple release indicating that he’s OK,” Jim Goldman reports for CNBC.
This morning, Jobs announced that “the rumors of his ill health and his severe weight loss. He admitted that its cause was vexing to him and to his doctors, and says only after sophisticated blood tests was his medical team able to discover what it believes to be the root cause of the problem: a hormonal imbalance that is robbing his body of necessary nutrients. No cancer recurrence. Nothing more insidious. And best of all for Apple, and for Jobs personally: he says treatment is easy and he will continue in his role as CEO while he undergoes it,” Goldman reports. “This should go a long way toward quieting those persistent rumors that have put Jobs erroneously on his deathbed, and hovered over Apple shares like those horrible alien ships in ‘Independence Day.'”
Goldman writes, “The shorts ruled the day… [but] no more. The shorts lose. Time to cover, and go slinking back into the shadows. (I have no qualms about betting against a company, by the way. I’m speaking to the message board wackos and blog posters who have been fueling this garbage heap day after day with lies. Your day in the sun is now over.) …Sing it with me: Bye, bye shorts. This should be the day the Apple shorts died.”
Full article – recommended – here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “JES42” for the heads up.]
Thank goodness! See you shorts later!
OK, can anyone tell me what “shorts” means? Sounds like a stock reference that I’m not familiar with.
A hormone imbalance can lead to significant weight loss? My wife and I want some of that. Can you bottle it up and send some over? We’ve been working hard at losing ounces each week, with a long way to go to our goals. This past month I’ve been in reverse and regained a year of that loss. Bottle it, Jobs, sell it to the nation’s struggling millions.
“Shorts” refers to “selling short”, a practice of selling stock you do not own at todays prices for delivery “tomorrow” when you expect to cover the sale with stocks bought at the new lower price. You profit by the difference … minus the fees, the taxes, the – OK, you can make a LOT, but only if you sell a lot and the price drops like a rock.
@DLMeyer — have you and your spouse had your thyroids checked lately? Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) can make it tough to lose weight…then again, so can sitting on your rear reading Apple rumors too.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” /> (I’m a veteran of the Battle of the Bulge too, never fear.) There’s a reason that most commercials say to check with your doctor before starting any diet/exercise plans — so you can take care of any underlying medical issues that would impede your progress.
The shorts lose! Long live the trousers!
In other words, you borrow, then sell shares of AAPL today at, say $95 per share, hoping that tomorrow (or a week from today) it falls down to $85. When it does, you buy at that price and return those borrowed shares. Basically, this is a way to make money in the stock market when you expect stock(s) to go down. Shorters, or short sellers, or shorts are generally disliked very much by many amateur investors.
And, DLMeyer, I’m sure you mean that in jest (and perhaps out of a bit of frustration). You really don’t want to have that kind of imballance. Jobs likely can’t really eat all that much, considering the procedure he underwent. When the little food that he gets doesn’t get properly absorbed and digested, he keeps losing weight. The simple treatment he’s talking about may be taking some hormones that would make up for the ones his body cannot produce, as well as adjusting his diet to contain as much protein and carbo-hydrates as possible in order to gain as much body fat and mass.
Yes, “Apple and Steve Jobs did this morning what they should’ve done months ago”. However, without real test results and answers, nothing could be said. If the earlier medical guesses was wrong, it would have looked like Steve Jobs and Apple were manipulating the stock value when his actual illness became known.
The “shorts” also refer to the short pants or underpants in which the “short sellers” will be sh**ing when they realize how much money they’re gonna lose betting against a winning company. Oops.
Thanks, DLMeyer. the stock market will always puzzle me, how these guys can sell something they don’t own for a price they don’t even have yet??? No wonder the economy is in such trouble.
On the lighter side, how about bottling it and call it iLose Apple weight reducer?
Kudos to Steve Jobs…if his body was being robbed of protein nutrients, then I can only imagine the also loss of daily energy. Being a juvenile diabetic, the insulin I inject meets with the nutrients in my bloodstream and the insulin allows the nutrients to be absorbed by the cells.
When my blood sugar is high and I don’t have enough insulin, then my body simply doesn’t have any energy, and eventually it takes from my body fat storage and then muscle development. I know what it is like to feel zapped, and I can imagine how Steve feels energywise. It is amazing he has been at work at all just on sheer determination and will power.
More to admire about Steve Jobs…Happy New Year.
Yep its over till next month.
And Drop the Hot Pants!!
I hereby recommend today’s Joy of Tech (“What’s behind Phil Schiller’s keynote”). I spilled hot coffee in my lap.
Eat my shorts, shorts!
This announcement was actually perfectly timed for the start of MacWorld. The mystery around the health of Steve Jobs (and why he wasn’t doing the keynote) got all the free tech media coverage during December, leading up to MacWorld. Now, with some cool product announcements by Phil Schiller tomorrow, AAPL will really soar, especially with the “shorts” covering their ill-advised bets.
And they (the short sellers) will be destroyed in such a dramatic fashion that it will discourage such behavior and rumor-mongering in the future. Nicely played, Apple!
@Scottm4321: “how these guys can sell something they don’t own for a price they don’t even have yet??? No wonder the economy is in such trouble.”
Shorting is as old as the stock market. Shorting has been done when the economy is down, and when the economy is booming. Shorting is not the reason the economy is the way it is currently, which you call “in trouble.”
Justme2 … how about a) over-eating plus b) sitting on my butt all day. I’m not looking for a guaranteed, sensible way to lose weight, I’m looking for an EASY way. 🙁 And not a whole lot, either. Under 200 would be good for me. Was most of the way there, then came Bird Day. <sigh>
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How can they sell something they don’t own? Damned if I know. It burns them real bad if the price goes up instead of down – they STILL have to buy the stocks they shorted. These people are gambling, pure and simple. Some bets are “good”, others …
Weight- loss hormones would be The Killer App of all time!
Then people could sit on their butts eating cheetos and pontificating on the internet from their bottomless well of knowledge and insight endlessly without changing their pants size.
Gotta run…
He should have visited Dr. House’s clinic. He and his team would have discovered that hormone imbalance in one episode which translates to few days.
They would have also _almost_ killed him because of misdiagnosis.
Don’t you just hate it when every episode follows the same pattern?
This make so much since. He most likely ben unbalanced his whole life and this has caused him to be on the edge of rage all the time. I have a friend who is like that and it causes him to burst out in rage over the tinniest stuff. I never put two and two together.
I know you will not believe me but I have a friend who works with Steve on a daily basis since NEXT and yes he blows up quite often. The thing he tells me is everyone who is close to steve ignores it as if it’s just who he is. Steve, he tells me is a fantastic person but the slittiest annoyance can send him into a rage.
So to me a chemical imbalance makes since.
BE WELL STEVE