Analyst Gartenberg: Microsoft ‘Zune phone’ unlikely

“Rumors persist about a Zune phone. I say it’s totally unlikely for a pretty simple reason. The business model of Windows Mobile is totally different than Zune,” Michael Gartenberg blogs or Jupiter Research.

“WinMo is a core platform and OS. No one has ever been successful licensing technology platforms to others and then competing with a device of their own,” Gartenberg explains.

“There’s certainly some likelihood of MSFT exploring a Zune phone but far more likely mobile Zune branded functions just get baked into a future version of Windows Mobile,” Gartenberg writes.

Full article here.

That’s all well and good, but how about the fact that Microsoft’s Zune also happens to be an abject failure?

Nobody buys Zunes. Nobody wants a Zune in their WinMo (retch) phone. For that matter, nobody wants a WinMo (blech) phone. We see no lines for such mobile telephony devices. None. Crickets.

Zune has done one thing: it has cemented “Microsoft” and “Mediocrity” together for an entire generation. Coinciding with the other abject failure, Windows Vista, Microsoft managed to shoot itself both feet at the same time. Stupid move. By stupid, incompetent leadership.

So stupid, in fact that we wouldn’t be surprised to see them launch a “Zune phone” on Monday along with a $500 million ad campaign designed to explain to you that people used to think the world was flat, so even though you and 10,000 reviewers tried it and found it to suck hard, you were wrong. Because Microsoft thinks they’re smarter than you. And because people used to think the world was flat, you made exactly the wrong choice by buying those iPods and now those iPhones and dumping Microsoft’s magnificent Windows for Macs in droves. So, any company that is planning on spending $500 million to tell each person on the planet 50 times per week that “Just like those flat-earthers back when, you’re just an ignorant fool and you’re stupid for not liking Vista,” is certainly capable of producing a fargin’ “Zune phone” at any moment.

Huh? Oh, yeah, shhh! (Sorry.) We mean: “May Ballmer run Microsoft for as long as it takes!”

46 Comments

  1. > No one has ever been successful licensing technology platforms to others and then competing with a device of their own

    I guess that’s true enough. Zune was created to complete with Microsoft’s “partners” who licensed Windows Media. And it wasn’t very successful.

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