From the “you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up-nor-would-you-want-to” file:
The Consumerist reports, “Reader K’s call to Dell tech support for his laptop resulted in the tech helping him break a different computer, then sending him a replacement laptop full of human pubic hair. After diagnosing a faulty power adapter with K’s laptop, the Dell technician asked him to plug the malfunctioning adapter into his other, out-of-warranty Dell to confirm the problem. K was reluctant, but complied, and fried his old laptop in the process. To their credit, Dell offered a replacement; unfortunately, it had a full bush.”
I reach the bottom of the box, pull out the laptop, and first thing I see is the top is covered in scratches. Some people may say that I should be happy since I was getting a newer model laptop to replace an old laptop with no warranty. My old laptop, however, was in great condition. When I opened up the new laptop, I saw the screen was scratched and dirty, and the keyboard was covered in debris. Wait, not debris….what is that? HAIRS!? Not just any hairs – these could only be described as pubes. I hate to be so crude, but pubes are pubes. Not the incidental curly hair, but rather mini-tufts between the keys. My only guess is that Ron Jeremy was the previous owner.
Full article with a photo of crappy Dell laptop sprouting pubes here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Wealthy Industrialite” for the heads up.]
MacDailyNews Take: Vomitous.
Dude! You’re getting a pube!
@ macaholic
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
ROTFLLMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s just plain disgusting.
And the hairs are gross too.
Peace.
Crap, just think, it could be from Mr. Dell him self.
Best laugh of the day! God that was funny!
Hahahahahahahahaha! That made my day! Thanks, MDN.
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Best MDN headline ever.
The cheep plastic could have a “hair line crack” ha ha
Dell is simply trying to be green and save a few bucks by using new biodegradable packaging material…
Shockingly crappy! I would not want my laptop dicked with!!!?
Hair today, and it’ll still suck tomorrow.
John, “The cheep plastic could have a “hair line crack” ha ha”
Cheep plastic? That must be the plastic they use to make Easter eggs that have little fluffy chicks in them. Maybe the hair was chick (the other kind) hair. Ho Ho.
Somebody must’ve tried whether Dell laptops really suck.
I compared the hairs in the photo with my own pubic region and found a difference: mine have a much tighter wind, while the ones in the photo look more like hair from a curly-haired head (the one above the eyes).
I guess some people just love their Dells…
Pubic hair? It’s a Dell Dude! more likely butt crack, underarm, back and/or chest hair. After all the Dell Dude had to dump all that body hair somewhere.
I’d also be sending Dell the hair palm laptop back along with a bill for my trauma and bio hazard exposure check-ups for the next year or so.
That.
Is.
Disgusting.
I have to admit, I am a little skeptical, but if this is true, this guy deserves the nicest, most pimped out laptop Dell can muster as a peace-offering.
Unfortunately, it still wouldn’t be a Mac…
Well now I know what the XPS stands for in Dell’s Laptop and Desktop Lines:
eXtra PubeS.
’nuff saidn
Ampar:
I’m waiting….
Dell is a pubicly traded company.
Dude, you need a bikini wax
i thought you americans loved bush? no?
XD
Classic!
ROFL!!!
Dell’s build quality gets better!
wonder if it came from the plant that dell is closing in austin, tx. people losing their jobs do funny things. LOL
That’s what employees do when you tell ’em they’re gonna be without a job. They just stop caring.
Thanks everyone!
My cheap laugh quota is filled for the next week!
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!
@dell-icious
Lower case yes! The capitalized kind, no!
Dell – Land of Bush
literarily
<< I have to admit, I am a little skeptical, but if this is true, this guy deserves the nicest, most pimped out laptop Dell can muster as a peace-offering. >>
Dell should buy him a Macbook Hair … Oh- I mean Macbook Air.
Like…Ron Jeremy has been my one and only idol for as long as I remember, he said in a documentary that he gives hope to ugly men with respect to getting sex from women, which is SO true.
I think RJ would make an excellent president of the US
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great, now make fun of hairy people. I am sure there was more, but they did their best to get the stuff off of it. Maybe it was a leased machine from a video porn website
All these comments and not one Clarence Thomas/ Anita Hill reference?
Am I that old?
MDW – include as in “include a pube on your coke can”
Michael Dell just sent him his sloppy seconds
What do they say about never buying a car made on a Friday? Obvious never buy a computer from a manufacturer that is shutting down US manufacturing plants and moving them out of the country!
I never owned a Dell….
What’s worse, the laptop or the pubes?
Is he going to use the hair samples as DNA evidence…..
Man, I’ve heard of cybersex but is this really how it’s done? Now that I think about it, my PowerBook is sexy and all, but even though I don’t have a girlfriend right now, I’ve never tried to hump it. This takes fanboyism to a “hole” new level.
Maybe Michael Dell just needed to get something off his chest!
(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)
Did it at least come with porn pre-installed?
(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)
This is what Michael Dell calls a hair raising experience…
(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)
What Michael Dell REALLY said about Apple so long ago was…
“Sell the stock and give the money back to the hair-holders”
That’s really, really, really gross.
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Can you imagine something like this happening at Apple?
I bought a refurbished iMac for my parents and it was really like new.
The only exception was that it didn’t have the advertised 1 GB RAM but 2 GB
I hope they find the guy responsible for that and instead of just firing him, they should wax his whole body (and then fire him)
That’ll teach him.
Thinking about it, this guy must really be an IQ-equal-shoesize-idiot because you can do a DNA-test on all that hair and pin him down pretty quickly.
(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)
Dell’s New Company Slogan…
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!
Now there’s an article that I will NOT be combing through.
(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)
Dell now offers a brazilian wax for your laptop with every downgrade from Vista!
Well I guess the good news it was just pube hair. Perhaps next time it might be “ass hair”? YUCK! LOL
You think that’s bad…
Just imagine how disgusted he would have been if they shipped him a new laptop that had Vista pre-loaded on it.
i must say that as far as ways to quit a job with panache, this stunt requires a fairly large set of balls.
That explains why the shipping box was marked “Handle With Hair”.
Guess I better keep my day job.
Thanks, Jim – TIV! You’re doing great.
I uh, don’t think I want to touch this one.
O.K., maybe this is their own warped idea of a bush stimulus package?
However it happened I think we can safely say that no one ever wants to know the truth. Unless of course, it’s already on YouTube.
The guy listed his options:
“1. Vacuum it, douse it in alcohol, and just try to use it and forget about ‘the hedgehog’
2. Sell it and buy a new laptop
3. Go to the gym, run 3 miles, trim body hair directly over the keyboard, send laptop back to dell (this is the cleaned up version)”
He sounds like a plucky guy. I hope he gets to the root of the problem after this close shave with disaster.
I thought this was a belated April Fools joke, but a picture says a thousand words – or a thousand pubes.
Uhhhh….I just hope he checked for keyboard crabs
Said the computer to the Dell employee…
Get off me, I am a computer not a Photocopier
Well, I have to say, and this proves, DELLs are for pussies.
Maybe Dell just upgraded their technical cervix facilities.
Clearly before the laptop went down, somebody(ies) went down on the laptop.
I hate stories like this. It is obviously an attempt at PR sabotage against Dell. Are we to believe that Dell sends out laptops filled with human pubic hair? No. Not even the most die-hard Mac fanatic could credibly make that claim.
I suspect a disgruntled employee pulled this stunt in hopes of garnering bad will against the company. I don’t this story should appear on MDN.
A gross Dellbacle
You just can’t pay for that kind of quality customer service.
Absolutely disgusting. Don’t they have QC?
I can’t believe the yarn we’re spinning out of this.
Sorry….
Previously pwned by Ron Jeremy or Mikey Dell wouldn’t be so bad.
What if Steve Ballmer…. NO!
where’s Zune Thang with your potential our passion???
That portable was probably Zune Tang’s trade in.
Mix ups will happen!
@84 Mac Guy
“You just can’t pay for that kind of quality customer service.”
You can and do, if you’re Elliot Spitzer
@Ampar…
Just trying to keep a stiff upper, hm. uhhh Just trying to….
nah. I got nuthin.
Those look like tasty scrotal to me! Yummy in my tummy!
All together…
“Mr Dell… can we have what left of our money back… now?”
Maybe the laptop is just going through….wait for it……PUBE-erty!
This kinds of explains their dip in sales.
And even if they find the guy to did it, what are they gonna do, fire him?
Ballmer is missing some hair……
To the fake Buster at 9:23….eat shit and die you moron.
Micheal Dell….Pubic Enemy #1
Dell’s new scratch ‘n’ sniff computer. Now available to the general Pubic.
This is good thing for Dell. All this free pubicity.
Ampar your right it’s already up on YouPube!
That’s not ‘gloss’ on the screen is it?
re: Absolutely disgusting. Don’t they have QC?
—
Nope!
Dell have never had any QC.
My parents in law have gone trough 3 brand new Dell’s in 6 months.
My wife’s company order over 400 Dells and nearly 270 of them were ‘dead in the box’.
QC? You’ll be lucky.
I’m amazed they did’nt send this ‘alleged’ brand new laptop with human shit all over it.
Remeber: times are tight at Dull, what with all the proposed layoffs there.
This sounds like a case of Dull trimming their margins.
He could always wax his keyboard.
And here’s my backwards, neadnerthal school district ditching Macs in favor of Dells. The kids are going to get a ‘different’ education than what they thought…
That has to be the funnest story I ever heard.
Come on now – Let’s not split hairs.
@JadisOne,
Yes of course they have QC – Quite Careless. It’s what Dell is best known for.
Sorry about the Pube, Dude! But the Consumerist site seems to be a good read. Thanks for the link!
I’m calling 5 pages right now.
So far, Ampar wins with the Bush Stimulus. Nice comedy all around.
Remember, it’s okay to love your computer. Just don’t… love your computer.
I just realized – DELL is trying to compete with Apple…D’oh!
MacBook Air.
DELLbook Hair.
It was so obvious…
Chances are that sicko’s DNA is on police file. Dell could trace it easily.
Thanks, C1. It was a total folly call.
It’s too bad Dell left him stranded like that.
at least there were no body parts attached to Ballmer’s pubes on the laptop. Thats a plus.
“at least there were no body parts attached to Ballmer’s . . .”
Are you sure? I have heard that he regrows severed appendages.